How many fallen women does it take? (songs)

Subject: Lyr Add: THE RUINED MAID (Thomas Hardy)
From: Rara Avis
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 11:05 AM

The monologue mentioned in the post by MAG (inactive) 26 Apr 00 "that's how we're ruined..." can be found on the Elsa Lancaster Sings Bawdy Cockney CD. The monologue was based on this poem, which points out certain advantages to being a fallen woman:

THE RUINED MAID (1866) by Thomas Hardy (1840-1928)

" 'Melia, my dear, this does everything crown!
Who could have supposed I should meet you in Town?
And whence such fair garments, such prosperi-ty?"
"O didn't you know I'd been ruined?" said she.

"You left us in tatters, without shoes or socks,
Tired of digging potatoes, and spudding up docks;
And now you've gay bracelets and bright feathers three!"
"Yes: that's how we dress when we're ruined," said she.

"At home in the barton you said `thee' and `thou,'
And `thik oon,' and `theäs oon,' and `t'other'; but now
Your talking quite fits 'ee for high compa-ny!"
"Some polish is gained with one's ruin," said she.

"Your hands were like paws then, your face blue and bleak
But now I'm bewitched by your delicate cheek,
And your little gloves fit as on any la-dy!"
"We never do work when we're ruined," said she.

"You used to call home-life a hag-ridden dream,
And you'd sigh, and you'd sock; but at present you seem
To know not of megrims or melancho-ly!"
"True. One's pretty lively when ruined," said she.

"I wish I had feathers, a fine sweeping gown,
And a delicate face, and could strut about Town!"
"My dear -- a raw country girl, such as you be,
Cannot quite expect that. You ain't ruined," said she.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: JennyO
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 10:51 AM

Looks like nobody has yet mentioned "KITTY KANE" by John Warner.

Jenny

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 10:13 AM

Yes, but how many fallen women does it TAKE???

I can just see Snoopy now, morosely gazing into his stein of root beer at the French cafe, muttering, "How many fallen women does it take...to forget the mud, the horror, the trenches, the dogfights, the endless combats and the grinding futility of this accursed war?! How many?"

(Glug!) (down goes another root beer) "Curse you, Red Baron!!!"

- LH

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Schantieman
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 09:30 AM

I know a lady dressed in red
Makes her living lying on a bed
She's a mattress tester.
She's a mattress tester and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady dressed in white
Makes her living working at night
She's a night nurse.
She's a night nurse and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady wears no gown
Makes her living riding up and down
She's an elevator operator.
She's an elevator operator and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady goes so far -
Makes her living lying in a car
She's an auto mechanic
She's an auto mechanic and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady dressed in black
Makes her living lying on her back
She's a whore!


Learnt this (would you believe?) at a Boy Scouts of America Summer Camp at Lake Arrowhead, California in 1978. I've imperfectly remembered some of it but you get the gist, no doubt!

Steve

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 08:55 AM

Amos-

You is the KING! ;~)

Now I seem to remember a song called "THE LADY MECHANIC" which we used to sing at college. One of the ladies made her living by "going up and down," she was an elevator operator. It really wasn't so much about fallen women, more of a primitive affirmative action song. Occupations included lawyers and doctors, each dressed in a unique color in her verse.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Lighter
Date: 09 Sep 03 - 07:39 AM

How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

Just one. But the bulb must WANT to change.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: LadyJean
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 11:29 PM

It's the "FAIR FLOWER OF NORTHUMBERLAND", "Get ye doon frae my horse you're a brazen faced hoor."

On the Scot's theme, you might also enjoy "THE RANTIN DOG, THE DADDIE O'T." (Pregnant and unmarried.)

THE LICHTBOB'S LASSIE, (I'll dye my petticoat red. I'll face it with the yellow. I'll tell the dyer lad, that teh Lichbob's I'm tae follow."

A personal favorite of mine comes from Robert Burns "Merry Muse of Caledonia" "AS I CAM O'ER THE CAIRNEY MOUNT, And down amang the blooming heather, The Highland laddie drew his dirk, And sheathed it in my wanton leather." While perusing the "Merry Muse" you might look up "NINE INCH WILL PLEASE A LADY", or "MUIRLAND MEG".

Joe Hill wrote a song [THE WHITE SLAVE] that began "One little girl, fair as a pearl, Worked every day in a laundry." She didn't say pure long. There's a version of the "Streets of Laredo" about a young woman dying of VD. I suspect she caught it on the job.

How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they screw in hot tubs. (My deepest apologies, it's been that kind or a day.)

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 10:06 PM

I can see the headlines now! "Mudcat Leads Crestfallen Class to Seek Compensation for Dentifrice Assault!" "Folk Forum Tests Invisible Shield!" "Arguing the Gravity of the Situation, Corporate Bozos Try to Fend Off Folkies"....


Years!... a veritable Bleak House of Toothpaste Wrangling.

A

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:54 PM

hmmm...CIGARETTES AND WHISKEY AND WILD WILD WOMEN....
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane...

Or how about..SHE'S LIKE A SWALLOW...anyone know that one??

It's Canadian eh!

LL

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Hal Davis
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 08:56 PM

Before the Crest hits the fan, Chris (?) White's "Nobody's" would qualify.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Grab
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 08:44 PM

How many does it take? Never enough, LH, never enough - just ask Hugh Hefner ;-)

But sometimes just one is too many, as the soldier invalided out due to pox found. It's never nice to be rendered whore de combat...

"Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a shilling and a quarter.
Jill came down with half a crown -
They didn't go up for water."

I think I'd better stop now.

Grab.

PS. I was sure this was going to be about screwing in lightbulbs - and the only answer to *that* one is "it depends how much you're paying".

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 08:22 PM

No, Amos, you've got it backwards. The women lurch into the bathroom, fumble open the medicine cabinet, and out pops a tube of Crest which lays them out cold. We could have the basis for a class action suit here, let along a promising ballad which would earn Mudcat and Max millions in royalties. How many women has this happened to? Fess up!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, ducking for cover

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 07:03 PM

Crestfallen I can understand -- they're the ones who have dropped their toothpaste tube on the bathroom floor at night. I am sure there are hundreds of thousands of such women. :>))

A

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Gareth
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 07:02 PM

Mmmm ! Fallen Women I am surprised that no body has mentioned

"MAGGIE MAY"

Gareth

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 06:20 PM

Congratulations to Mark Clark for launching a thread with a title that made me laugh right out loud! It conjures up so many amusing mental associations, before one realizes it's just songs he's after...

I mean, really, how many fallen women does it take? I ask you!

- LH

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 05:24 PM

Such an esoteric question! And if they fall in the forest, which side will the moss grow on? Inquiring minds may want to know.

Now I suppose the flight of Amelia Earhardt involved a fallen woman, at least when her plane plunged into the Pacific. There was another song about a cow that fell from the sky and sank a Japanese trawler, but that one's probably a stretch. There a traditional sea song about a female sailor who plunges to her death from the rigging, to the regret and subsequent amazement of all aboard.

Then there's "HARPER VALLEY PTA." See, I can play fair too.

How about songs about just crestfallen women?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 04:57 PM

I was told only to widdle-holdin de poo is the hardest thing ta do
gas-most of the time- boy do I do a good poker face and -miss
priss- has nothin on me!

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Frivolous Sal
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 04:54 PM

WE NEVER MENTION AUNT CLARA
Her picture is turned to the wall
She lives on the French Riviera
Mother says she is dead to us all

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Frivolous Sal
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 04:46 PM

"LOVE FOR SALE"

If you want the thrill of love,
she's been through the mill of love
she's got old love, new love
any type of love but true love....


MY GAL SAL

They call her frivolous Sal
a peculiar sort of a gal
a wild sort of devil, but dead on the level was my gal Sal

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Joe_F
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 10:04 AM

There was once a young lady named Sue,
Who preferred a stiff drink to a screw,
But one leads to the other,
And now she's a mother.
Let that be a lesson to you!

Sung at a party, this caused a young & an old lady named Sue to look at each other & raise their eyebrows.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 03 - 09:54 AM

Fallen from where? How many fallen men are there, while we're at it? Do men fall from the same height as women? How does this falling stuff work, anyway?

A

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 10:51 PM

HEAVEN WILL PROTECT THE WORKING GIRL

THE LADY IN RED

PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE

THE REEL OF STUMPIE

FAIR FLOWER OF NORTHUMBERLAND

FOOLISH, INCREDIBLY FOOLISH

SHAPE OF THINGS

YOU WERE ONLY FUCKING WHILE I WAS MAKING LOVE

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: open mike
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 01:22 PM

back in april this topic was addresses in this thread:
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=58798#935976
fallen women

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 07 Sep 03 - 09:35 AM

In I'VE GOT NO USE FOR THE WOMEN, in the DT HERE, it's not clear whether the gal was fallen or not, but she caused the fall of "the honest young cowboy". This is an old favorite of mine among the old-time tearjerkers. Now that it comes to mind, I've got to sing it more.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Pixie
Date: 26 Dec 00 - 10:16 AM

How about "MARY DANCED WITH SOLDIERS", and "SISTER'S COMIN' HOME" (Willie Nelson, sung by Emmylou). I don't know if "SUMMER WAGES" works with the line "Hookers standing watchfully, waiting by the door"?

And if you want to consider the prospect of women falling "up" lets consider "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE HIM"...

Pixie

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: John P
Date: 26 Dec 00 - 08:00 AM

"The Demon Lover" is a great song about a woman who succumbs to temptation. Titles for some variants of the same song are "The House Carpenter", "The Banks of Italy", "The Carpenter's Wife", and "James Harris".

John

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 00 - 07:51 PM

And while we're at it...how many root beers does it take?

- LH

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 00 - 07:37 PM

Hmmm...interesting. I've never seen it under that title.

- LH

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Dec 00 - 12:58 PM

Little Hawk, I've known that one for years as "THE DEMON LOVER."

Dave oesterreich

Subject: Lyr Add: AS I WENT OUT ONE MORNING (Bob Dylan)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 00 - 11:04 AM

"As I Went Out One Morning" by Bob Dylan:

As I went out one morning
To breathe the air around Tom Paine's,
I spied the fairest damsel
That ever did walk in chains.
I offer'd her my hand,
She took me by the arm.
I knew that very instant,
She meant to do me harm.

"Depart from me this moment,"
I told her with my voice.
Said she, "But I don't wish to,"
Said I, "But you have no choice."
"I beg you, sir," she pleaded
From the corners of her mouth,
"I will secretly accept you
And together we'll fly south."

Just then Tom Paine, himself,
Came running from across the field,
Shouting at this lovely girl
And commanding her to yield.
And as she was letting go her grip,
Up Tom Paine did run,
"I'm sorry, sir," he said to me,
"I'm sorry for what she's done."

From the great album "John Wesley Harding", which is a reflective work, full of religious imagery and a general feeling of repentance for past excesses. The fallen woman in this song is no doubt an archetype, meant to symbolize numerous things that lead one astray...things like the desire for fame, success, glory, and personal gain...at the expense of the soul's honesty.

Then there's the old folk song that starts "Well met, well met, my own true love, well met, well met, cried he, for I've just returned from the salt, salt sea, and it's all for the love of thee..." in which the sailor turns out to be none other than Satan in disguise...what's the tile of that one? [THE HOUSE CARPENTER]

As for "Lay, Lady, Lay", that is NOT about a fallen woman, it's about a faithful and loving wife. No fallen woman there whatsoever. Although, Bob does do an alternate version of it on Hard Rain that could possibly be interpreted as depicting a "fallen" woman, I suppose...

- LH

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 24 Dec 00 - 04:21 PM

"Why Paddy's Not At Work Today" is definitely a song about a "fallen man".

Art

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Jimmy C
Date: 22 Dec 00 - 12:49 AM

THE JOLLY TINKER

THE CHANDLER'S WIFE

THE VIRGIN STURGEON

A MAID GOING TO COMBER

THE FOGGY FOGGY DEW

TWO MAIDS WENT A-MILKING

THE TROOPER AND THE MAID

BUNCH OF THYME

CARELESS LOVE

there are more songs about fallen women than there are fallen women ?.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 09:54 PM

"JELLY JELLY"---as done by Josh White

"YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD OLD WAGON (DADDY, BUT YOU DONE BROKE DOWN)"--Bessie Smith

"The Hooker Daisy Hill"--by Jud Strunk

"THE FOGGY DEW" (trad.)

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:55 PM

An excellent song on the 'fallen woman' and the difference between fallen women and fallen men is Michelle Shocked's PRODIGAL DAUGHTER (with some Cotton-Eyed Joe going on as well). A great song on a great album.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,larry
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 09:54 AM

how about "LITTLE MAGGIE" the old bluegrass standard?

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: mkebenn
Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:52 AM

No mention of (faithless) FLORA (the lily of the west). On the drug theme, none better than Buffy's COD'INE. On the men's side Kris's "CASEY'S LAST RIDE" usually quiets the crowd for me.." and he stumbles as he's leavin', and he wonders if the reason is the beer that's in his belly or the tear that's in his eye" Come to think of it, there's one of each in that song. Mike Bennett

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 10:49 PM

IT'S THE SAME THE WHOLE WORLD OVER

CARELESS LOVE,

PRETTY POLLY,

HER MOTHER NEVER TOLD HER

.... wait, I think we're counting an infinite loop....

A

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Catrin
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:08 PM

Fallen Men?

HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN

(Hang down your head) TOM DOOLEY

ST. JAMES INFIRMARY

BANKS OF THE OHIO

I suspect there's millions, but it's always the woman's fault!

Cheers*BG*,

Catrin

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 05:21 PM

Are there any "Fallen Men" songs??

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM

First of all, the question Mark poses isn't "How many fallen women does it take to change a light bulb?" It's "How many fallen women does it take to "screw" in a light bulb?"

Now, that puts a whole other take on this thread. Right? I suspect that the answer is one---at least if what you're looking for is the least number of fallen women it would take to do that. If you are looking for the most fallen women it would take, the answer would depend on the size of the bulb---unless, of course, you are one of those that thinks size matters.

If you are gay, it's a whole other can o' worms.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Songster Bob
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM

Someone else listed one of my favorites, "JUST TELL THEM THAT YOU SAW ME," which was one of those Gay '90s songs, like "PICTURES FROM LIFE'S OTHER SIDE," "SHE'S MORE TO BE PITIED (Than Censured/Scorned)" (can't remember which the last word should be), and "THERE'LL COME A TIME (SOMEDAY)," which was one of the late Gus Meade's favorite songs because it was entirely in dialogue, with no "he saids," or "she saids." Another from that era is "THE FACE ON THE BAR-ROOM FLOOR" (was this set to music or just a poem?).

Bob Clayton

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,aldus
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 10:35 AM

SHE MOVES AMONG MEN as sung by June Tabor.

THREE DRUNKEN MAIDENS,

THE WHORE'S LAMENT as sung by Frankie Armstrong.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: John P
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:12 AM

"BAD GIRL'S LAMENT", an oddball Unfortunate Rake variant where a woman is dying of strong drink and syphilis.

When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure
When I was a young girl I used to drink ale
Out of an alehouse and into a jailhouse
Right out of a bar room and down to my grave.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:48 AM

"YOU MAKE IT EASY (For A Man To Fall)"--James Taylor

"THE RIVER WHERE SHE SLEEPS"--Dave Carter

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Ribbit
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:10 AM

"LAY LADY LAY" Bob Dylan

"Keep On Truckin' Mama" Chad Mitchell Trio [MANDY LANE]

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Extra Stout
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:09 AM

Mississippi John Hurt's "RICHLAND WOMAN BLUES": 'Red rooster says "Cock-a-doodle-doo" Richland Woman says "Any dude'll do" '

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:38 AM

That "long-legged street-walkin' Cajun-lookin devil" in the Kris Kristofferson song "SMOKEY PUT THE SWEAT ON ME" sounds like a candidate.

"DEVIL WOMAN" ("Devil woman, let me go...leave me alone, I wanna go home") Don't know who wrote it.

"DELILAH" (I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blinds). Though she didn't last long!

"Miss Nellie Bly [sp???]" Named as "The other woman" in some versions of "FRANKIE AND JOHNNY" (Including Michelle Shocked's excellent version).

Does "Felina" [sp??] from Rosa's cantina count? or is merely dancing in a cantina OK even tho' "Black as the night were the eyes of Felina, wicked & evil while casting their spell"? [EL PASO by Marty Robbins]

Decidedly, women are the root of all evil- can't live with 'em, & it's illegal to shoot 'em.

OH FOR GOD@S SAKE, I'M ONLY KIDDING!!!

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,Smokey
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:01 PM

HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN.

Where can I find all the lyrics to 'WAS I? (drunk, etc.)' Gad that is funny and true.

I just heard 'BEESWING' on NPR this Sunday.

Someone had ask about 'onery' that souther (United States below the Mason-Dixon Line) for honery or mean.

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 08:34 PM

YOU MAKE LOVE TO EVERYONE - by Webb Pierce

Subject: RE: How many fallen women does it take?
From: GUEST,JAZE
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 07:35 PM

1. RAISED ON ROBBERY

2. MAGDALENE LAUNDRIES