BS: F****ing Austria

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Troll
Date: 10 May 00 - 11:11 PM

In Florida we have Two Egg, Sopchoppy, and Welaka.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Steve Latimer
Date: 10 May 00 - 02:16 PM

Brendy,

I don't think that's where the Chocolate Bars are made, I think it has a population of about 5,000. Didn't see much in the way of industry. It's southwest of my other favourite Pennsylvania town, Zalienople.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Popular Halfwit
Date: 10 May 00 - 11:57 AM

During the 1960's all sorts of linguistic jokes were being played by companies making inroads in Europe (and still are). Rolls Royce had some difficulty selling their Silver Mist limo in Germany and Austria where people declined the privilage of driving a Silver Shit ! no matter how refined. When we were in Semmering Austria, we came across some lavatory paper called KOZY KRAPP and wish we'd saved some. (Paper that is). Last summer whilst returning from Italy my children used half a roll of film in the southern German town of WANK.

Oh well.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Brendy
Date: 09 May 00 - 07:19 PM

Is that where those chocolate bars are made?

B.

Tomorrow, Larry, tomorrow!!!

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Steve Latimer
Date: 09 May 00 - 03:56 PM

Haven't been to those other places in Pennsylvania, But I've had a beer at Uncle Bob's Tavern in Mars, Pennsylvania. They have a great old fashioned train station there (closed) with a sign simply saying Mars. I wish I had a camera on that trip.

One of my favourite road names is Cobbledick Rd. in Ontario. I pass it quite often and it always brings up a weird mental image.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: InOBU
Date: 09 May 00 - 03:23 PM

Well, If you are not in F**king Austria, but rather in F**king New York, on May 17, come to the New Age Cabaret 23 St.Marks Place, from 8 - 10 PM and hear Sorcha Dorcha, a Foo King great band... (if I do say so myself...)
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: SDShad
Date: 09 May 00 - 12:33 PM

Brendy--

My great-great grandfather emigrated to Minnesota from Hell! Glad to encounter yet another who has, as you so correctly put it, been to Hell and back.

I plan to go to Hell some time...before I die....

Chris

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Brendy
Date: 08 May 00 - 10:56 PM

Ballyfuckeen - a townland close to Pallas Green, east Co Limerick

Knicker - not to far away from Ballyfuckeen.

Hospital - is also close by.

'Mon Limerick!!

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: poet
Date: 08 May 00 - 05:33 PM

Folk song were always filled with symbolism.
for e.g. a bird = masculine sexual organ.
a bush = female counterpart.

This worked fine for hundreds of years until someone came with the expression:--
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush.


Graham (Guernsey)

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST
Date: 08 May 00 - 03:09 PM

I live 20 minutes from Bastard township....there was a movement a few years back to change the name, but the historians and locals wouldn't have anything to do with it.
Kate

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Spider Tom
Date: 08 May 00 - 05:52 AM

Sophocleese, what a marvelous idea. Why using the ideas from the book, we could take ages to actually communicate anything.
So walking would become: leg movement, running=rapid leg movement, and sitting bending the bowels?
Definate pause for thought(I mean thought movement)
Spider Tom

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: sophocleese
Date: 07 May 00 - 04:32 PM

Spider Tom, I remember laughing myself silly when I read a book on potty training which stated very seriously that young children are capable of learning the PROPER names for things and therefore you should teach them to always use the PROPER names "urinating and bowel movement". What happened to pissing and poohing?

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Ulli
Date: 07 May 00 - 04:17 PM

Have a look at this site to see how the citizens of the place that inspired this thread are coming to terms with their name Click here
ulli

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Spider Tom
Date: 07 May 00 - 03:27 AM

Spider Tom here,

I LIVE, downunder(Ooh eer! sounds a bit rude)
We have the odd slang word which is, or has been known to have a different meaning, to what you may know in the U.S.
However slight the difference, we somehow try to rise above the sultry sniggers of the morally bankrupt.

I believe I can offer a solution to the problem they seem to have in Fucking.

Their problem will continue, as long as we have slang words to describe the private "naughty parts" of the human(sorry, Hupersons' body).
I'm embarressed already but must offer advice.
Sadly through time , we somehow seem uncomfortable with nameing, both the sexual body parts, and or the acts associated with "Hideing the sausage". So what do we have instead?

Most people don't speak Latin like a scholar, and we have found normal names for; the hand, the foot, the chin, even the mouth and tongue (Though thankly these were named before they were brought into usage as a complimentry part of the act of "you know,... funny business.")

So though we know where we stand in discussing, other parts of the body, we tend to lay down, when trying to talk of THE OTHER BITS--(you know RUDE BITS!)(Is my face red?)

So, I think that a gaggle of scholars,(classically trained, so they may actually know what the words mean in the first place)should be brought together from wherever they hide such people, together with a selection of NORMAL though not too prudish people, some could even be from both categories.
They would then sit and search till they find a nice name for each act, or part. Perhaps they could call, F&%cking=bodysurfing,
C##nt=Lilly of the Valley
Prick=shrinking violet or NaNa!
Of course they would encounter some difficulties as regionar variations MUST be taken into account, e.g.

BOTTOM,(actually in the middle, the foot is at the bottom, thats not the bottom of the bottom but the far end many inches away from the Anus)
And words such as BUM (which in the U.K., Aust & N.Z. means , bottom.. see above)and, fanny (which once again has a VASTLY DIFFERENT meaning in the U.S.)
Though I tend to really like FANNY,which ever one, they they decide, there should be no confusion!(Hint a baby only comes out of one of them).
I could go on (and often do) but all I am saying here is if we named everything properly,

Then Fucking, would have no fucking worries!
I do worry about you lot you may have RUDE MINDS,
Feel free to call on me whatever the problem I am willing to offer my solution.
Spider Tom.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Brendy
Date: 07 May 00 - 12:30 AM

"Fart" is "speed" in Norwegian.
There is a story about a famous Norwegian Ski Jumper, back in the '70's who was interviewed by an American sports commentator. When asked what his 'secret' was, he replied: "Well, first you have to have a big fart"

In September last year, I played at the 'Hell Blues Festival' just outside of Trondheim. I stayed at the Hell Hotel. I got a late flight back to Oslo, and carting my guitars, I walked into a friend's pub just before closing time, ordered a pint, and when he asked where I'd been at the weekend, I was able to reply "I've been to Hell and back"!!!

B.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 May 00 - 12:20 AM

Art, I'm telling Bob!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 07 May 00 - 12:06 AM

In central Pennsylvania, where I went to medical school, the general geographic wisdom was that if you started in Bird-in-Hand and went through Intercourse, you'd get to Paradise; but if you took a wrong turn and missed Intercourse you'd wind up in Blue Ball. The town names are real, but I don't know if the directions are accurate. I had a teacher who'd been a community physician for quite a while before he was invited to join the medical school faculty. He always said he was going to write a book called "Thirty Years in Intercourse."

And near my hospital now is a place called Peepee Falls, which is pronounced "Peh-eh peh-eh" by those who wish to be correct. Both of them.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,meadow muskrat
Date: 06 May 00 - 10:09 PM

Near Portland Oregon you can take Hiney Road enroute to Wanker's Corner.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 06 May 00 - 11:10 AM

Nothing beats the harbour towns in Newfoundland... Dildo, and Come-by-chance... LOL

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Art Thieme
Date: 06 May 00 - 11:06 AM

Of course, that ought to read "song---not dong.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Art Thieme
Date: 06 May 00 - 11:04 AM

This DEMANDS a song parody of Bob Gibson's dong "THE TRAIN TO MORROW

Who can rise to the occasion? ---- THE ROAD TO FUCKING or something like that.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Escamillo
Date: 06 May 00 - 05:56 AM

Speaking about funny geographical names, one thing always amazed me is the incredible family names that many people carry all their lives. I don´t know many of them in English, for example an English Admiral who came with the UK fleet for the Falklands/Malvinas battle, whose last name was Coward. There are many Butchers, Shoemakers, etc. but in Spanish and Italian, there are last names that (in my theory) were invented by priests and judges in medieval times to express their scorn feelings for those village people to whom they were giving a name.
Casado = married man ; Diosdado = given by God ; Hurtado = stolen ; Pillado = catched ; Exposito = orphan ; Malo = bad ; Feo = Ugly ; De Cabo = of a platoon's leader ; De Coronel = of a colonel ; Cura = priest ; Del Papa! = of the Pope ; LaVirgen = of the Virgin ; Soldati = of the soldiers ; Brusco = rude ; Cardinale = of a Cardinal ; Paniagua = bread&water ; Malvestito! = poorly dressed. A famous one which originated a legal fight was the Italian Tontodimamma = fool for mother's legacy
There were well intentioned inventions too: Bello = beautiful ; Angelico = angelical ; Benedetto = blessed ; Viejobueno = good oldman ; Bueno = good , and lots of neutral names: Moreno = dark skinned ; Rubio = blonde ; Grande = big ; Blanco = white and thousands of geographically inspired (my own) Magré, Da Costa = from the coast ; Del Monte = from the mounts ; Del Rio = from the river ; Maradona, Roma, Napoli, Madrid, Villanueva, etc. Guess the meaning of CASTRO ? (LOL) I pass.
Sorry for the off-topic, and no intention to offend anybody called FEO. Mine could have been Uglyshortpretendingsinger and would've been true.
Un abrazo - Andrés

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Jimmy
Date: 05 May 00 - 11:49 PM

Trying to get this thread back to music - check out John Forster's very funny CD "Entering Marion" in which the title track is based on the cute roadsigns you see as you cross the township limits in lots of New England villages.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:58 PM

There are also the famous Paps of Glencoe, seeing we can't get away from breasts.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: MarkS
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:50 PM

There is a mountain range in the western part of the States called the Grand Tetons. The first Europeans through the area were from Spain. I will let somebody else do the translation!

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:10 PM

A few miles up the road from me there's a village called Ugley; and a few miles off to the west there's another called Nasty. It's said that at one time there used to be a joint annual social event between the Ugley Women's Institute and the Nasty Men's Social Cluib, but I don't know about that.

I think I've told this on before, but it fits in here. NB the vowels are crucial, and vowel sounds in Southern England are very different from Northern England:

There was a fanous Antarctic explorer called Sir Vivian Fuchs - and he pronounced his name as if it was spelt "Fooks", being a South England man.

Anyway he does to a ceremonial dinner up North, and the chairman of the dinner makes a welcoming speech - in which he keeps referring to him as "Sir Vivian Fuchs" - with a short "u", which meant the pronounciation was the same way Southerners pronounce the f word.

So after a while Sir Vivian leans over and whispers in his ear: "Actually, it's pronounced Fooks".

The dignitary looks shocked "I can't go saying "Fooks" - there are ladies present!"

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 00 - 05:56 PM

So that's Ole One Eye Bay up north there?

No, wait, is that a dildo or a Sawzall blade??

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 04:49 PM

Oh Spaw, I've just wet my pants! Time for golf diapers.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 04:44 PM

I wonder if the Newhooks did figured out what to do with Upper Dildo?

On my search for Dildo though, I did find, sadly, that the route from Leading Tickles or Squid Tickle will no longer get you to HaHa, as the names have been changed to, Leading Tickles West, Burnside and Releigh, respectively. But why they changed the name of Little Seldom to Seldom-Little Seldom is beyond me.

Ah Newfoundland, I love you.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 00 - 04:19 PM

Good Keericed Mets, I'm having a hemorrage here......The snot is blowing outta' my nose..............

Let's all take the ferry to Dildo island....My word what a sight!!!!! And Dildo ARM????? Must be a real mother of a dildo!!!!!!

I need something postmarked from Dildo!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 04:11 PM

I don't think the citizens of this little hamlet would like to think they don't exist click here

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 00 - 03:53 PM

Don't tell me I wasted that Dildo joke?

Jim my friend, you have way too much time on your hands, which is a common ailing of a Mudcatter. Thanks for the research!!! There no longer is, but, only 20 or so years back, a town with a PO on the river not far from Chattanooga named Suck Creek. I think I still have a letter I sent to myself from there just to have the postmark.

Southeast Kentucky is eaten up with different names, not sexual, but........Viper, Jean Ritchie's homeplace, is not far from Fisty, Mousie, Thousand Sticks, and Dwarf.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 03:44 PM

Well Jim, it may not list Dildo and Upper Dildo, Newfoundland, but I assure you that in 1971 those two outports were there and probably had a higher population than Toad Suck, Arkansas.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 May 00 - 03:23 PM

The Getty Thesaurus of Geographic Names does not list any place called Fucking, Dildo, Twatt, or Licenits. It does, however, list Dildo Key (an island in Florida), Blueball, MD; Tick Bite, NC; Phucket, Thailand; Condom, France; Intercourse, PA; Intercourse, AL; and 17 towns called Climax in various states.

It lists 245 places that contain "Hell" as part of their names, for example, the towns called Hell, Norway; Hell, MI; Half Hell, NC; Hell Gate, FL; Hell Hollow, NH; Hell Town, MO; Hell-Ville, Madagascar; Little Hell Landing, SC; Merry Hell, MS. Most of the Hells are names of geographic features other than towns, for example, Hell For Certain Creek, in Kentucky. There is a Hell to Find Lake in California, a Hell To Get To Tank (reservoir) in New Mexico; various valleys and bays called Hell Hole. There used to be a town called Hell To Pay in Washington State, but they changed their name to Eltopia, apparently.

There are numerous places called Suck, Sucker, and Sucking, including a town called Toad Suck in Arkansas and a river named Suck in Ireland. There are two Big Sucker Creeks, one in Minnesota and one in Michigan.

There is a Dead Ass Cave in Virginia, and a Skinned Ass Canyon in New Mexico.

There are several Big Butt Peaks, a Brushy Butt Peak in Virginia, a Butt Head Branch (stream) in Mississippi.

There is a Sex Peak in Montana, and a Sexy Peak in Idaho. There is a Prick Pond in Maine.

There are numerous mountains named Tit, or some variation thereof, for example Black Tit Peak, Alaska; Mule Tit Peak, Oregon; South Tit Peak, Idaho (but no North Tit, apparently); and there are several Squaw Tits (talk about adding insult to injury!).

There is a Cads Crotch Basin in Utah.

There is a Beer Bum Hill in North Dakota, and a Bummer Creek in Idaho.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: The Shambles
Date: 05 May 00 - 02:53 PM

There was a rugby player in the French side, a few years ago, whose name was Condom.

He was the one wearing the strange head-protection.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 05 May 00 - 11:02 AM

My parents lived on Condom Street in Bangkok, and on the corner was a little cart selling Cabbages and Condoms ... And I'm glad someone else asked Spaw to "just tell the joke" -
But my favorite street name is right here in Charlottesville (well, Stony Point area, if you want precision) - called Pinch 'Em Slyly. I kid you not.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Lee
Date: 05 May 00 - 10:59 AM

Up until I was about thirteen I thought Wang King was a city in Southern Asia.

Lee

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Wolfgang
Date: 05 May 00 - 10:47 AM

back to folkmusic: The local folk group in Fucking, Austria, is called "Die Fuckinger Senkrechtstarter". A "Senkrechtstarter" is a VTOL aircraft and the word is used in German for anything (anybody) raising very quickly.
Wolfgang Hell (who uses his wifes last name in English speaking countries)

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Albatross
Date: 05 May 00 - 10:29 AM

Then there was the famous line by that old english cricket commentator the late Brian Johnston: "....the bowler's Holden, the batsman's Willy...."

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Auxiris
Date: 05 May 00 - 09:32 AM

Yes, there is indeed a town in France called Condom, though I can't remember just now exactly where it's located. However, I have heard that the object that now bears the same name was invented there. . .

cheers, Aux

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: SDShad
Date: 05 May 00 - 09:21 AM

I'm so glad I asked, Spaw. Thanks.....

*g*

Hell may no longer exist in Wyoming, but you can still go to Hell in Norway. Trondheim, like so many modern cities, has an airport some distance away from the city proper. Hell sits between city and airport.

So you literally have to go through Hell to catch an airplane in Trondheim.

Chris

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 05 May 00 - 09:20 AM

In Cleckheaton - West Yorkshire we have a lovely chinese take-away called The Sha-tin. It doesn't inspire confidence in the cuisine.
Patrish

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Billy the Bus
Date: 05 May 00 - 09:04 AM

Oh my golly gosh, I'm out-gunned before I start.

B(r)est I can do from "Dunny-unner" is:

Tutaekuri town name that means "Dog Shit"

Sign-posts at Westport, that may link to this Fred...

Utopia Street>
Cemetery>
No Exit

Or, in the same town....

Waters Lane>
Public Toilets>

I resign, can't think of anything better than that from Kiwidom.

Yours in contrition...

Mas

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Albatross
Date: 05 May 00 - 08:23 AM

There was the receptionist in a small firm in Derbyshire who regularly had to answer the phone and say " Hello Mycock's Electrical ". And there was a Derbyshire building company called "Peak Erection Ltd". How about some scandinavian names: Odd Willy Bent Axle Odd Bugge

It's all in the name! Albatross

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,KingBrilliant
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:59 AM

In the South of England we have Pishill, and even more evocatively we have Alf's Piddle. Actually there are quite a lot of Puddles & Piddles.

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: Dharmabum
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:56 AM

While playing in a bar a few years back, I mentioned that I was from New Jersey. A man with a southern accent spoke up and said," New Jersey,Hell If they was gonna give the world an enema, thats where they'd stick the tube". I felt compelled to set the record straight and pointed out to him that," That would acually be Newark, I live in West Testicle".

Ron.

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Lee
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:18 AM

Did somebody say a town in France called Condom?

Is it a naval town? If so is it full of semen?

Lee

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: kendall
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:10 AM

As they say in Newfoundland, Whale oil beef hooked.. (say it out loud)

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: kendall
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:04 AM

there are three towns in Scotland, Tongue, Lick and Bun. John Gould, a Maine author, wrote that a "fahtmesser" is a sort of jack knife. When I was boarding foreign ships off the east coast to check for compliance with the International fishing treaty, we had a basic phrase book for many languages. The one for German was a bit much..on our departure, we were supposed to say "Goot faht" I just waved. And, what do you suppose "foot" means in German slang?

Subject: RE: BS: F****ing Austria
From: GUEST,Auxiris
Date: 05 May 00 - 05:53 AM

Dare I mention that there is a town in France called Condom?

cheers, Aux