Lyr Req: Monkey Farts (Mike Barrett)

Subject: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like...
From: SeanM
Date: 04 May 00 - 04:02 PM

OK... tried the DT and forum searches, and couldn't find anything on this one...

I'm looking for the lyrics of a song that sounds like it could possibly be something out of Music Hall, Vaudeville, or early '78s. Then again, it could be modern done in that style.

The song in question is in the form of a young woman/man being given advice by the father, said advice starting off with "A monkey's fart should smell like a banana..." and continuing on with a variety of other examples, including things like "A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell".

lyrics would be appreciated, as well as any history that could be dug up.

Thanks!

M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: Gypsy
Date: 04 May 00 - 11:11 PM

Oy! If i can dig up my Jolly Beggers tape, will transcribe the lyrics for you. Might be a while, this one goes on and on and on. The name of the song by the way is: The Father Song. Might even be in the DT under that name.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: SeanM
Date: 05 May 00 - 02:04 PM

Thanks! I'm actually requesting this for a friend of mine from the Ren/Dickens crowd in CA... I knew the Beggars sang it (Molly especially), but didn't think they'd be known too far outside of the CA crowd.

Is it an original? I'm beginning to suspect it might be.

M

Subject: Lyr Add: THE FATHER SONG / MONKEY FARTS (M Barrett
From: Gypsy
Date: 06 May 00 - 12:40 PM

Well, I AM in Northern CA! Your friend will probably want to check with Molly or Linda before performing this one. I do believe that it is a Beggar original. Anyway, here goes:

THE FATHER SONG

My father came across the sea from Ireland.
He was quiet, but they say that he was wise.
He and mother did their best
To give us a roof and all the rest,
But to talk to us, he never had the time (had the time).
Sure, he'd say, “Pass the butter,” or “Come here, young girl,”
Or “Be quiet,” or “No, you can't have a dime,”
Until the day when I was leavin'
That he finally found a reason
For sharing his philosophy of life.
He said--

CHORUS: A monkey’s fart should smell like a banana.
English farts should smell like cups of tea.
The farting of a fairy
Should be very light and airy.
When a father farts, I hope you'll think of me (think of me).
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter.
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well.
A lion’s fart should roar with power.
Cuckoos should fart every hour.
A nun’s fart should have meaning but no smell.
A strong man’s fart should roar out like a trumpet.
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak.
But the person you can trust
Is the one who'd rather bust
Than ever let one rip right in the street (right in the street).

Well, from my old man, this really was an earful,
And I tried to understand just what he meant.
His words were primitive, but strong
So I wouldn't get them wrong.
He was saying to be careful as I went (as I went).
Remember who to look up to,
And whatever else I might do,
Remember that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas.

CHORUS

Parenthetical repeats are done in harmony. Sorry for taking so long. The CD is "The Crayon Dozen" and you get it direct from the Beggars. Think they had a row with REC, haven't seen them perform in the past 2 years.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: SeanM
Date: 06 May 00 - 10:55 PM

Thanks... I'm actually looking for it for Dom of the Nobles... Beggars have had various things going. Linda's been apparently trying to keep a few different bands going, Jonathan lives in San Diego and is doing full time with Sons of Anachreon, Doreen is Mistress of the Revels (full time gig for REC), but you do occasionally see them together. Couple years ago there was a "mini Beggars" reunion show at the RPFS event that I was lucky enough to catch.

Thanks again!

M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: RichM
Date: 07 May 00 - 11:43 AM

Great words...anyone have a hint as to melody?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: Gypsy
Date: 08 May 00 - 04:28 PM

Yes...it is similar to, to, to...when it floats to the surface of my mind, will post. First part is spoken, chorus is bouncy and sounds like...drat! post later

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: SeanM
Date: 08 May 00 - 06:46 PM

Sons of Anachreon (SoCal Victorian Music Hall style group) also do this one, with the opening being done very like "They're Moving Father's Grave to Build a Sewer"... I'd almost say that the chorus is close in melody to "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts", but that's not quite right...

M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: Gypsy
Date: 09 May 00 - 11:28 AM

Yes, yes, yes! But i think the chorus is actually more like the jingle for Oscar Meyer wieners, right?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: SeanM
Date: 09 May 00 - 12:47 PM

AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Of course, you're right, Gypsy.

Thanks. Now that'll be stuck in my head all day.

;^)

M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: Gypsy
Date: 09 May 00 - 04:13 PM

Fairs fair...has been stuck in MY head since I could lay name to it. But that is better than when I couldn't lay name to it!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Monkey's Fart Should Smell Like..
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Oct 07 - 08:14 AM

I ran across this song in the archive, and thought it deserved to be better known.

It also seemed to me that something was missing from the above transcription, since the line that ends "…just escaping gas" doesn't rhyme with anything. So I went searching on the Internet and found this at a web site called Drinking Songs & Barroom Lore. There, the song is called MONKEY FARTS and the credit given is "(M. Barrett, Cellardoor Music)." The verse with the missing lines is:

He was saying to be happy as I could be.
He was saying watch my step and as I pass,
To beware who I look up to,
And whatever else I might do,
Know that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas.

[It's from Seamus Kennedy's album "By Popular Demand," 1990. There's also a sound sample on that page if you want to know the melody.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Monkey Farts (Mike Barrett)
From: GUEST,Marysturn
Date: 19 Oct 12 - 09:39 AM

You tube....type in: Monkey Farts for Father's Day. Also Seamus Kennedy does an awesome job.