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Do slugs swing?

Mrs.Duck 05 May 00 - 06:44 PM
Metchosin 05 May 00 - 06:56 PM
catspaw49 05 May 00 - 07:10 PM
Metchosin 05 May 00 - 07:16 PM
Metchosin 05 May 00 - 07:27 PM
Bodkin&Gerkin 05 May 00 - 08:02 PM
Metchosin 05 May 00 - 08:06 PM
catspaw49 05 May 00 - 08:15 PM
Metchosin 05 May 00 - 08:31 PM
jets 05 May 00 - 10:43 PM
Dave (the ancient mariner) 05 May 00 - 10:49 PM
Sorcha 05 May 00 - 11:33 PM
Mark Cohen 05 May 00 - 11:43 PM
Mbo 06 May 00 - 12:01 AM
roopoo 06 May 00 - 03:11 AM
rangeroger 06 May 00 - 03:13 AM
Sorcha 06 May 00 - 03:50 AM
Rana 06 May 00 - 08:15 AM
TerriM 06 May 00 - 08:21 AM
Mrs.Duck 06 May 00 - 04:17 PM
Caitrin 06 May 00 - 04:25 PM
GUEST,Harper 06 May 00 - 04:30 PM
Bradypus 06 May 00 - 06:10 PM
Metchosin 06 May 00 - 06:34 PM
Mark Cohen 07 May 00 - 12:24 AM
roopoo 07 May 00 - 02:33 AM
Metchosin 07 May 00 - 11:24 AM
Mrs.Duck 07 May 00 - 12:54 PM
Metchosin 07 May 00 - 01:19 PM
Metchosin 07 May 00 - 01:21 PM
Wavestar 07 May 00 - 04:19 PM
Mrs.Duck 07 May 00 - 05:40 PM
Wavestar 07 May 00 - 07:32 PM
Mark Cohen 07 May 00 - 10:24 PM
Metchosin 07 May 00 - 10:47 PM
Mrs.Duck 08 May 00 - 05:24 PM
roopoo 09 May 00 - 02:51 AM
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Subject: Do slugs swing?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 05 May 00 - 06:44 PM

Any teachers among you may recognise this as a question the government want us to ask six year olds in it's latest literacy training. I have two possible answers: 1. It depends who's playing. and 2. Yes, both ways!!!! Maybe someone knows a song about that!!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 06:56 PM

Oh I'm mighty Hermaphroditey
And I leave a slimey trail
And I don't know how to tell
My horny "head" from little "tail".

Sorry, couldn't resist.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:10 PM

What the hell kinda' question is that anyway? Oh well.....To the tune of "Swingin' on a Star:"

Well do you wanna' swing with a slug?
Do the dirty down on the rug?
Let him fill you up like a plug?
You could be fuggin' with a slug.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:16 PM

Sorry forgot that the above tune was the beginning of the Theme from the Beverly Hillbillys

Is all this because it's Friday and were punch drunk?


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 07:27 PM

Then again, a really astute six year old could say "Only if you push them".


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Bodkin&Gerkin
Date: 05 May 00 - 08:02 PM

Due to a technical error and a litre of wine this question appears to have been raised by my husband and not me. He is denying all connections with slugs! Anyway Spawe, thanks for not letting me down!!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 08:06 PM

and I did? she asked indignantly.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 May 00 - 08:15 PM

Well not me Mets......I've learned to look forward to your stuff!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 May 00 - 08:31 PM

thanks Spaw, if I wasn't in the middle of trying to cook dinner I'd finish the sucker.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: jets
Date: 05 May 00 - 10:43 PM

I play with a band called Sea Slugs.We don.t swing.We do contra


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 05 May 00 - 10:49 PM

Spaw... ye gotta finish all the verses to that one, and give it to Aine fer the songbook... Thats a F***ing keeper mate.. ROTFLMAO. Yours, Aye. Dave


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Sorcha
Date: 05 May 00 - 11:33 PM

Deep inside a garden, lives a darlin' slug,
The slug, the slug of Ol'Mudcat, my dear,
In spite of geese, or beer, I fear,
The slug will win in the e---nd
(San Antonio Rose, Bob Wills country swing)

Come on somebody, take it now, eeeee ha,


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 05 May 00 - 11:43 PM

Guys, I can't stay, but I hope this continues. I did my college senior thesis on slugs. I'll leave you all to guess at that one.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mbo
Date: 06 May 00 - 12:01 AM

Do slugs swing?
Of course they do!
When a fastballs coming
Wouldn't you?
To hit a homer?
Smack that bugger?
P.S. --works best with a Louisville Slugger...

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: roopoo
Date: 06 May 00 - 03:11 AM

Mine sure as hell do...when they're a-drownin' in the Guinness in the beer trap by my vegetables!

mouldy


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: rangeroger
Date: 06 May 00 - 03:13 AM

The Banana Slug String Band out of Santa Cruz CA. really swings.
rr


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Sorcha
Date: 06 May 00 - 03:50 AM

mouldy--you use Guinness for your slugs? ooo pampered slugs, I just use el cheape Milwaukee or something. Let's all go be slugs in mouldy's garden!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Rana
Date: 06 May 00 - 08:15 AM

Doug and the Slugs in Vancouver in the 80's really hopped. Don't know about swing, though.

Rana


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: TerriM
Date: 06 May 00 - 08:21 AM

I'm still trying to fathom what the answer to this might be, what the hell is the education board looking for here? Is it a question regarding capital punishment for our little slimy friends, or perhaps an insight into slug suicide tendencies? I'm quite a lot more than 6 and I'm baffled.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 06 May 00 - 04:17 PM

Well this one certainly got you all thinking! Of course none of you let me down. I'm really impressed! And yes this was a genuine question lifted straight from the dfee PCM for literacy in Year1 along with other such enigmas as Do ducks(!!!!) have tin legs? and Do you live on Mars? I don't know what they were on when they thought them up but I want some!! Nothing wrong with using Guiness on your slugs - just because you want to kill the buggers doesn't mean you have to be unkind and at least you're not using Old Peculiar-now that would get 'em going!!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Caitrin
Date: 06 May 00 - 04:25 PM

I don't know if they swing, but they definitely squish. I stepped on one barefoot while taking out the trash one night. It was one of the most disgusting experiences of my life.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: GUEST,Harper
Date: 06 May 00 - 04:30 PM

Swallow a slug by it's tail or it's snout; Feel it slide down, then feel it crawl out. If you don't like the way it moves all around, Then chew it up the next time down...


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Bradypus
Date: 06 May 00 - 06:10 PM

A slug of mass m On the end of a string is given a push To see if we'll swing If the string is length l And if gravity's g You'll see that he's swinging With period p

(I can't remember the formula, and I'm not going to look it up. This short ditty inspired by a report of a physics exam question that started ' A professor of mass m ...')

Bradypus


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 06 May 00 - 06:34 PM

Mighty Hermaphroditey (To the Tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Oh I'm mighty Hermaphroditey
And I leave a slimey trail
And I don't know how to tell
My horny "head" from little "tail".
But it doesn't really matter
For each paramour I find,
Slip-sliding down the garden path,
Is also gender blind.

Well that's the way we romp and play
Yes, me and all my kin
So kindly spare the salt and beer
It's like to do us in
And remember in the garden,
When you see that silver line,
Our speeds not slow, as swingers go
Some think it's 69.

And because I don't know when to quit….

The Banana Slug Song (To the tune of Chiquita Banana)

I'm Hermita Banana and I've come to say
We slugs swing in a special way
Before el fresco dining on the doggy doo
We Pulmonata Lumbada the whole night through
You will find us in your garden
We have the telescoping eye-ayes
For Kamasu-ta-ra positions
We would surely win the prize
But Bananas like it cool not at the very, very tropical equator
So check your Organic produce, in your refrigerator.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 07 May 00 - 12:24 AM

Harper, I love that book! And Caitrin, if that's one of the most disgusting experiences of your life, you are either very young or very fortunate, or both. Not, I hasten to add, that it's something I enjoy. Metchosin, the onion continues to peel...I'm impressed, in an uneasy sort of way.
My thesis, since I know you're all interested, was on the transmission of neural impulses through peripheral cell clusters along the posterior pedal nerve of the great gray slug, Limax maximus. It was not, shall we say, one of the finer examples of scientific endeavor to come out of my university.

Aloha,
Mark


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: roopoo
Date: 07 May 00 - 02:33 AM

The reason I use the Black Stuff in my beer trap is because I won 8 cans of it in a raffle. As Mrs. Duck well knows, my beer consumption has had to be severely curtailed more's the pity, due to an alcohol intolerance (migraine) and nobody, not even my 2 student kids would take the Guinness from me! When it's gone, the wee invaders will get whatever rubbish I can lay my hands on. Probably the draught John Smith's bitter from the pub across the road. That's another thing. Here am I unable to drink much and the pub also sells Timothy Taylor's Landlord. So I had one last night. And a Southern Comfort because I have a sore throat. And two aspirins before I went to bed, just in case. Let's face it, you can only drink so much coke.

My sister-in-law was "outed" on her wedding day when the best man mentioned in his speech that the bride had been known to suck slugs (black 'uns) when 3 years old. You know they say that on average we swallow 8 spiders per year while asleep? Well I wonder how many little hermaphrodite invertebrates get chomped per person, per annum? They'll be full of protein.

mouldy


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 May 00 - 11:24 AM

Well Mark my downfall was to go from breasts, potty acoustics, Dutch wind and Dildo, Newfoundland, all in one week. I'd like to blame Spaw, but that wouldn't be fair, however, this is the last layer I will unpeel in public.

Your forgetting escargot, mouldy.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 07 May 00 - 12:54 PM

Well Mets you really have pulled out all the stops on this one. I will feel duty bound to sing the slug song next time I'm out. Mouldy, we all forgive you if the blackstuff was in cans. Let's face it you lose most of it in the opening. So why do we think it acceptable to eat snails and not slugs? And if slugs do swing do snails merely just sway?? That's it I think I've finally flipped.


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 May 00 - 01:19 PM

Mrs. Duck, please don't let your sense of duty should overide your good taste, as I seem to have done recently.*BG*


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 May 00 - 01:21 PM

sheesh! grammars gone out the window too!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Wavestar
Date: 07 May 00 - 04:19 PM

Is that Shoggoth's Old Peculiar, Mrs. Duck?


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 07 May 00 - 05:40 PM

No, Wavestar, but if it's worth drinking I'll have a go! Geoff had a good thought, Mouldy. Why didn't you just hit the slugs with the cans and then you could have given us the beer!


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Wavestar
Date: 07 May 00 - 07:32 PM

Don't know if you want to, Mrs. Duck.... It's a reference to a Neil Gaiman story, Shoggoth's Old Peculiar... strange Lovecraftian things happen to people who drink it.

-J


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 07 May 00 - 10:24 PM

Well, Metchosin, what do you want, good grammar or good taste? (Oof)


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Metchosin
Date: 07 May 00 - 10:47 PM

Good grammar of course, then at least, I might be able to mascarade as someone who might have good taste.....for awhile....works for some.

What does (Oof) mean?


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 08 May 00 - 05:24 PM

Oof is the noise your grammar makes when she sits down! ( I can't believe I actully said that!!!!)


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Subject: RE: Do slugs swing?
From: roopoo
Date: 09 May 00 - 02:51 AM

In our house it's the noise the armchair makes as she drops onto it - the knees only go so far in "let down slowly mode".

mouldy


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