Thought of the day May 9

Subject: Thought of the day May 9
From: skarpi
Date: 08 May 00 - 07:22 PM

Hallo all, I know its early to write this but the clock is late in Iceland and I am about to go to sleep.

The thought is about helping people when they are in trouple, like last saturday I was driving in our Capital Reykjavík and my car broke down in the middle of a heavy trafic.Úps what do I do now I thought well someone will help me taking the car outside the road or thats what I thought.It took me 20 min, to take the car to the side and of 30 cars who drove by only one man stopped to help me and I am very thankful for that, the thought is this why dont we help ? why dont we stopp? do we not have time to stopp?What if it happens to our self, do we want others to stopp for us?. Well that is something to think about. I thought about this on Saturday after my car stopped becouse I few weeks ago did not stopp for another car in trouble. Where is My heart? I wonder. Good night Everyone and all the best skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Racer
Date: 09 May 00 - 01:19 AM

Everywhere I've lived, we don't stop to help because we don't want to get robbed and/or killed. When I'm broken down, I'd rather if no one stopped to help me.

Maybe I'm just being overly cynical though. Maybe I should stop watching the news, and try to forget about "The Hitcher."

-Racer

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 May 00 - 01:23 AM

Good question, Skarpi. I am sorry to hear about your car and hope that it is running better for you, now.

I think one of the saddest things is that people just do not trust one another much these days. Here, in Wyoming, people seem to be a little bit better about stopping to help. We like to joke that it is because there are so few of us and SO many empty miles of roads. It is still considered a common courtesy to help a stranded motorist out. If you don't, they may not see anyone else for hours and in the winter that can be deadly.

Personally, I am glad I have a cell phone; that's the only reason I have it or use for, too. I feel safer calling someone I know for help than I do accepting help from a stranger, especially when I am alone.

Now, let's see if I can get this right: Góoa nott og takk fyrir! (Still missing a couple of diacritical marks!)

katlaughing

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Crowhugger
Date: 09 May 00 - 02:35 AM

My theory is that we see so much American shoot-em-up TV that we think we'll be raped, robbed and killed, or worse, have to testify, just for being courteous.

Even the police help to feed this fear: we are regularly reminded by the OPP to have a sign to "CALL POLICE" in our automobile safety kits. YetI've never heard them suggest to keep a sign asking "WHAT NUMBER TO CALL?" so we can be more prepared to safely pull over and ask.

So far, when I've stopped to see if someone needed help, I've felt it was okay to get out of the car. So far, I've been right. So far, I've only stopped to help persons of colour who happened to be male since it's well understood that society is obsessively fearful of this. And, so far, they all knew darn well that the alternator or transmission or carburetor had been near death for weeks.

To the chagrin of my loved ones, I will continue to go with my gut feeling. I don't always stop to help, but so far, I've always been glad I that did. Who said, "Practise random kindness and senseless acts of beauty"? It all started for me when I heard a story about putting spare change into expired parking meters. (Try it; it's a cheap grin. Don't do it if you fear wearing a smile on the sidewalk.)

Every bad experience in my life occurred when I second-guessed my instincts. So if someone wants to put, "shouldn't have stopped" on my tombstone -- just metaphorically as I'll be cremated -- they'll be correct. Those who say I shouldn't have helped will be mistaken.

CH.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Peter T.
Date: 09 May 00 - 08:43 AM

>There are any number of studies that have shown that people on the street will go to the aid of others if they can be sure that the person is seriously in trouble and does not belong to what they perceive as a recognised "danger" category. There have also been one or two interesting studies that people will help if there is no one else around to help -- someone passing a stopped car on a busy road can always assume that someone else will stop, or a police car will come by.

Cars are partly to blame. They set up a universe of human beings in protected boxes moving at a fast speed. To stop and help someone else is a complete change of dynamics and presence. It is hard enough if you are walking -- I seem to recall a story about a Good Samaritan sometime around 2000 years ago.....

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 00 - 09:10 AM

Same here, Crowhugger. I help where help is needed. Whether it's directions on the subway or offering tissues to a person obviously in need of them. Even just picking up the box of cereal someone dropped on the floor in the supermarket and chose to leave there.I've opened my home to strangers, given rides to people lost. My family thinks I'm insane. But I've only been robbed once as a result. And when someone wants to pay me for the favor I suggest they do a simple act of kindness for the next person they see in need. Eventually, I believe it all comes back. Maybe the world is just a slightly happier place for me to enjoy. By the way, the last time my car broke down on the Brooklyn-Queens expressway (of all places), I was helped within minutes by a mechanic on his way to work. He refused to let me pay him saying "Today is my day to do a good deed." I guess he's insane too.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Wesley S
Date: 09 May 00 - 09:53 AM

Last Saturday night on the way to a show I was in the middle of a three car pile-up on the freeway. The car in front of me stopped suddenly and two of us had to have a little "insurance seminar". I first made sure that everyone was OK. Within moments a pickup truck drove by and some yahoo yelled out the window "Get the hell off the road". We had barely had time to make sure that we were alright and that our cars were driveable !! Then the cars passing us on the right didn't want to stop to let us pull over to the shoulder. And TWO police cars drove by without stopping. I could understand the first one not stopping - they had prisoners in the back seat. But either of them could have checked to see if one of us was injured! I still have a bit of a headache and some shoulder pain from the whiplash but mostly I'm pissed off. This was a busy freeway. Hundreds of cars went by { it was still daylight } and only one stopped to check on us. But to me the first two policecars had no excuse.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Peg
Date: 09 May 00 - 10:24 AM

well, being a woman alone I have fear of both needing help when broken down on the road, or stopping... once I ran out of gas on the Mass Pike (my 1976 Volvo's gas gauge was busted and I usually kept track of it it but...) in the middle of a total eclipse and a blinding sleet storm. I tried waving cars down (very dangerous); no one would stop. I was actually creaming and frantically waving at passing cars for about fifteen minutes...
finally a trucker stopped. Could not believe it tok me that long to flag someone, he was appalled and told me of the trucker's code, always stop to help. He gave me enough gas to get going and I stopped at the next exit...
I no longer own a car and depend on friends for rides a lot; just as I often gave rides to people when I drove. This karma must be repaid! I am so appreciative when people help me, I try always to reciprocate. I often stop to help someone in distress, whether an elderly person needs help stepping over an icy puddle or with their groceries, or a parking meter needs a quarter, or a homeless person wants a cup of coffee...why else are we here but to help each other?

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: GUEST,Dave (the ancient mariner at work)
Date: 09 May 00 - 10:34 AM

I always stop if there are ladies or children present. In order to prevent the fear I usually offer to call for help or get help for the stranded from a distance without approaching too closely. More than once I have transported people because of weather conditions being too dangerous to leave them on the side of the road. If someone wishes to rob me or kill me then they have the perfect opportunity to do so. I would rather die in such a manner, than leave someone in a dangerous predicament. So far the good Lord has seen fit to spare me. My other philosophy is when attacked defend, that coupled with my size and looks, probably are my best defence..

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 00 - 10:42 AM

So if someone wants to put, "shouldn't have stopped" on my tombstone -- just metaphorically as I'll be cremated -- they'll be correct. Those who say I shouldn't have helped will be mistaken.

Crowhugger,

Thanks for the shining words, dear lady. This is the courage it takes to be a real living person, and I hope it always brings you delightful rewards and new friendships.

A

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 09 May 00 - 11:46 AM

Just a few weeks ago I found myself exactly half-way through a 3 hour drive, on a Sunday morning, dressed to go to the opera, in a blinding downpour, and my windshield wipers broke.

After a stop to get some Rainex for the windshield, I pulled under an overhang at a self-serve station to apply it. I then managed to lock myself out of the car, and my little dog was inside! While I was on my hands and knees trying to get the extra key under the bumper, (dressed for the opera, and my hair soaking wet from driving with my head out the window) a "questionable looking man" pulled alongside and said to follow him to a car wash up the road. My instinct said, "It's ten o'clock on a Sunday morning on a busy street, so do it," and I did.

After this man helped me put Rainex on the windshield, I offered to pay him. He was highly insulted and said something I'll never forget. He said, "I may not be a good person, but at least I can help." I thanked him and promised to "pass it on."

The moral is...I don't know. I try not to get into bad situations, but sometimes help comes from unlikely sources.

Mary

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 May 00 - 11:56 AM

I might have given the wrong impressione arlier. I also try to help when I can and feel safe doing so. My dog makes me feel pretty safe most of the time, as he always rides *shotgun*.

One time, I saw an African American mother from NYC and her five kids being towed to a service station in Mystic which I knew was a rip-off place. We walked over, my daughters and I, offered them our home, food, and the telephone, and we helped her get her car started and parked in our yard. She called her brother in Boston, he headed down to get her, I took her and the kids up to wait for him at the McDonald's after we'd had a nice visit, the kids had played the piano, petted the dog, and the baby had its diaper changed and been fed. A couple of weeks later, when her brother came back to get her car, he tried to offer me money. I said no, just pass it on and I am sure they did. That is the kind of help which makes me feel really good and I offer it whenever I can.

kat

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 00 - 12:27 PM

Sorry to hear about your police not stopping - I've been transported miles out of the way in a police car to get a spare tyre fixed - second puncture of the day - and they were brilliant. They were quite apologetic when we had to chase a speeder (110mph past a slip road) and I just became baggage...... Those guys can sure hit it when they want! Hope that a colleague of your lot reads this and makes them feel ashamed as they rightly should.

LTS

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: keltcgrasshoppper
Date: 09 May 00 - 01:25 PM

My son Gabriel worked one summer on the Mass Pike.. The staff is trained to always stop and offer help.. He tried his best to do so but being low man on the crew noticed that at times his boss would not stop.. There seemed to be a racial barrier.. This really bothered Gabe.. I was very proud of him for noticing and questioning this attitude. Of course he was never hired again to work for the turnpike.. As for me I once was stuck first in line at a light on route 9 coming out of Amherst anyone from this area knowes what that can be like. Didn't really bother me that knowone stopped but really made me mad that people yelled at me and flipped me off for being stuck.. STRANGE COUNTRY THIS...

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: Peg
Date: 09 May 00 - 01:34 PM

Grasshopper you are so right about that inexplicable tendency people have (or maybe it is just Massachusetts residents) to scream and insult someone whose car happens to stall at a light...only thing to say is, maybe they will get a clue how obnoxious that is when it happens to them...I am also troubled when I see people go out of their way to scream at and insult drivers when they have kids in the car (the insulter, not the recipient); do they think this is a good thing to teach kids? and as often as not it is some moneyed yuppie in an SUV doing the psychotic screaming...

peg

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: sophocleese
Date: 09 May 00 - 04:54 PM

I grew up on a treacherous dirt road with a steep hill. People always got stuck in winter; "It was fine when I drove down here last July!". We always helped in some way. We loaned out our chains, we made tea and warmed people up who were waiting for the tow truck and were sympathetic to upset teenage girls who weren't supposed to be there with their dates and whose parents were "Going to kill me when they get here!" The only time this led to difficulty was when someone borrowed the chains to get to the top of the hill and just kept on driving. The only other time my Mom got upset was when we helped out a guy who said "Remember me? I got stuck here last year!" Some people never learn.. They did once leave the door unlocked and went back to bed so a couple that were having problems could get in to use the phone again if they needed to. That couple didn't come back into the house but my parent's were woken up by a policeman shining a torch in their faces and saying "Did you know your door was unlocked? Anybody could walk in."

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 May 00 - 05:06 PM

KGH, you have my sympathy, Rte 9!? *Shudder*!! You should be proud of your son; I noticed a lot of the racist exclusion, too; some of my neighbours really were shocked that I'd done something so simple as to help a mother and her children.

In the wintertime out here all bets are off. If you don't help someone the *Winter Demon* might come and get you and that can be lethal. It is just too seriously life-threatening out here for people NOT to stop and help out.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: skarpi
Date: 09 May 00 - 06:56 PM

Hallo all , after I saw what you all have wrote I might understand some of you,In Iceland we do not (yet) have to be afraid to be get killed or robbed and me drivin in heavy trafic on Saturday in Iceland,I thought my fellow countrymen would be so good to help. But they did not. I think in the states the proplem is bigger than it is in Iceland and I understand why you will not stop. But when you are travelling in Iceland dont be afraid to ask for help it is okei . all the best skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 09 May 00 - 07:05 PM

I suppose it depends where you are. My experience is that anytime you break down there'll be someone willing tio help. But then most times I've broken down, or needed a push, it's been on the streets of a town rather than out on the motorway or a country road.

At various times I've left my light on, and the batteries got flat - I always find that before too lopng I can get someone to give me a jump start, or a push start maybe.

And I've found that, if you are trying to give someone a push start on your own, one or two other people will always stop and lend a hand.

Of course one thing that helps - and I don't want to stir things up - is that there aren't too many guns around in my part of England, so nobody worries about that stuff.

Subject: RE: Thought of the day May 9
From: BlueJay
Date: 10 May 00 - 02:36 PM

What great timing! My wife and I are house-stting up in the mountains. This morning as I was driving in to town, my truck died and would not restart. Simple problem- broken wire- the skinny one coming out of the ignition coil. I was only stuck for maybe fifteen minutes, but EVERY passing motorist stopped to offer aid. Ok, there were only three, but they all stopped. This is a semi-remote area, and the folks who live up there understand they must rely on each other for help. Made my day. Will I Stop? You Bet!!! BlueJay