Lyr Req: Woodbridge Dog Disaster (Royston Wood)

Subject: woodbridge dog disaster
From: GUEST,art
Date: 22 May 00 - 06:27 PM

anyone out there got the words to this song?

written by the late Royston Wood

i came across a reference to it somewhere else and couldn't find it in the digitrad

thanks if you can help

bill

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From:
Date: 22 May 00 - 10:12 PM

Is that the poem/song about "dog leg broken, hitch your legs to a wagon" or some such story? I think it is performed by a 70's duo Fraiser and deBolt (spell is uncertain). If this rings a bell I could dig into my tape file and find it. Keep in touch. Harold

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 May 00 - 11:13 PM

Well, Royston Wood wrote it, and Stan Rogers performed it,surely one of our Canadians can get it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Jacob B
Date: 23 May 00 - 09:50 AM

Seems to me I remember Royston Wood performing a song he had written, about a dustman who was attacked by a large dog, who was trying to get at his throat. In the window above, the dustman saw the dog's owner, who shouted, "Kick his balls!" The dustman did just that, and it was effective. It was only after the dog slunk away that the dustman was able to see the dog's toy balls nearby, which were what the owner had meant.

The owner sued the dustman for damages to the prize-winning breeding dog.

Royston Wood said that he read the story in the paper, tried to interest several songwriters in writing a song about it, and only wrote it himself when nobody else would. Is that the song you are looking for?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: GUEST,art
Date: 23 May 00 - 12:42 PM

that sounds like what i'm looking for Jacob

any idea where i can get the lyrics?

thanks

bill

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Jacob B
Date: 23 May 00 - 01:36 PM

Afraid I can't help you. I heard it once, around twenty five years ago. I remember the story, but neither lyric fragments nor melody. I hope someone else comes up with it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Jacob B
Date: 23 May 00 - 01:55 PM

"Woodbridge Dog Disaster" is listed as one of the cuts on a recently-released disk of Stan Rogers live recordings called "From Coffee House Concert Hall". That gives us a source for hearing the lyrics.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 23 May 00 - 02:25 PM

I was gonna type this out, until I realised it's 11, 6 line verses!!

Too early in the day for that!! LOL!!

Maybe later!!

{~`

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: GUEST,art
Date: 23 May 00 - 06:08 PM

thanks to you all

it's late here will check back in the morning

cheers

bill

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Margaret V
Date: 23 May 00 - 06:23 PM

May I ask what a dustman is? Margaret

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 23 May 00 - 08:31 PM

A dustman?  I'm not sure what the normal term is in the USA, but a Refuse Collector might do it?  Over here they pick the dustbins (trashcans?) up once a week, and often get bothered by dogs.  Mind you, since Privatisation it's been Wheelybins...

Malcolm

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Margaret V
Date: 23 May 00 - 11:02 PM

Thank you, Malcolm. Over here we used to call them garbagemen when I was growing up, but I guess it was around the late '80s that they were more politely supposed to be called sanitation workers. I suspect lots of folks still call them garbagemen. In some places, garbage collection is a municipal service, while in others residents have to pay a private contractor (often called a carter) for the service.

I like the sound of "dustman." When I lived in London in 1983, I guess I never ran into a dustman or that phrase because my landlady wouldn't pay to have the garbage--er, dust-- collected. Instead she made her tenants wait until it got dark and then we were supposed to run across the street and lob our bags of trash over a high fence behind which was the place where the dustmen put all the bags of trash. . . clearly marked "no dumping" or "no trespassing" or the like. That wasn't the happiest tenancy of my life. However, the landlady's husband had been a somewhat famous voice teacher who had given lessons to many somewhat famous people. In the house were photos of these somewhat famous people, such as one in which Mr. Landlord was standing on a book which was placed on the stomach of LuLu, who was lying on her back on the floor, smiling bravely and, presumably, learning a lot about breathing. . . there, I managed to bring the thread back to music! Margaret

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 24 May 00 - 12:34 AM

I should have remembered "garbage", but it's a bit late at night here!  Collection was a municipal service in London in the '80s -still is so far as I know- but I guess that if your landlady was an official business, she'd have had to pay extra for bulk collection; unless of course she was just a bit mad, which sounds like a possibility!

Malcolm

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Margaret V
Date: 24 May 00 - 08:00 AM

I could tell any number of stories that would confirm the latter. For example, most of the time I lived there she was on a grape diet; she literally ate nothing but grapes, so it was not uncommon for her to be carrying on a conversation while slumping gradually to the floor, clutching her stomach, and insisting she'd never felt better! Margaret

Subject: Lyr Add: THE WOODBRIDGE DOG DISASTER (Royston Wood
From: Dan Calder
Date: 25 May 00 - 06:58 AM

Good morning, folks.
It's early, and the type on this damn CD booklet is very tiny. I hope I got this right, but I'm sure the formatting won't cooperate...(at least without the help of Joe Offer.)
Enjoy,

Dan

THE WOODBRIDGE DOG DISASTER
Written by Royston Wood
As recorded by Stan Rogers on "From Coffee House to Concert Hall"

There was an old woman in Woodbridge, there was,
So proper and tidy and all of them things.
She would wander all day with her duster in hand.
She was one of those women who clean where they stand,
And while she is at it she sings, boys!
And while she is at it, she sings!

Now, there's no doubt about it, her house was a show,
With everything proper and stowed in its place,
And that's why her dustbins had a shed of their own.
Like a mirror, each one of those bins it had grown!
You could read every line in your face, boys!
You could read every line in your face!

Now, there's nothing the matter with tidiness, no,
No matter with keeping your house up to scratch,
But these bins were located one side of a yard,
Where a Doberman Pinscher was prowling on guard,
Trained to kill if you lifted the latch, boys!
Trained to kill if you lifted the latch!

Now it's all very well to protect what is yours,
And it's better not leaving temptation around,
But a job on the "dust" is rewarding enough,
And there's nothing like taking the smooth with the rough,
To be savaged by some bloody hound, boys!
To be savaged by some bloody hound!

Now, this Doberman Pinscher would play in the yard,
And a couple of old tennis balls was his game.
In his make-believe game, it's himself that he saw,
As the world's only dog with a bionic jaw,
And that's when the garbage-men came, boys!
And that's when the garbage-men came!

Now, fate took a hand on this coldest of days,
For his wife, she had made him to wear a warm coat,
And to knot up his muffler to keep out the chill,
And, for once in his life, he had bent to her will,
And the dog couldn't get at his throat, boys!
And the dog couldn't get at his throat!

Now, when the woman above was drawn to the noise,
It's down from a high chamber window she calls,
To the dustman, engaged in a struggle for life,
In a middle-class tone you could cut with a knife,
She loudly exclaimed, "Kick his balls!" boys!
She loudly exclaimed, "Kick his balls!"

Now, the dustman could scarcely believe the command,
But he didn't have time to request it again,
So ignoring distinctions of language and class,
He unleashed a size ten at the Doberman's ass,
And its eyes misted over with pain, boys!
And its eyes misted over with pain!

Now, imagine the silence that followed that blow,
With the command ringing on in the poor dustman's ears,
And as the poor doggie lay writhing around,
You could see the two tennis balls there on the ground,
And her meaning was rendered quite clear, boys!
And her meaning was rendered quite clear!

Now, I'd like to explain that this dog was "at stud",
And the dustman was sued for the fees that he'd lost,
But it's lucky he was to escape with his life!
He went home with a kiss for his poor startled wife,
Who harangued him for what it might cost, boys!
Who harangued him for what it might cost!

Now, if there's a moral to be gained from this song,
It's that innocent language might sometimes sound crude,
And as in the case of the carpenter's mate,
Your linguistic enlightenment might arrive late,
And you could end up getting screwed, boys!
And you could end up getting screwed!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Jacob B
Date: 25 May 00 - 09:49 AM

Thanks to art for requesting the song, and to Dan for providing it. It's been a long, long time since I've heard that one!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: GUEST,art
Date: 25 May 00 - 11:55 AM

Dan Calder

twice times thank you for taking the time to write this song out for me.

i've never heard it sung,but having the lyrics is great .

maybe someone could put it in the digitrad? it might help to keep the song alive.

thanks again Dan

bill

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Apr 03 - 08:53 PM

I don't understand the line "And as in the case of the carpenter's mate..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: Giac
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 07:19 AM

I wonder if in the middle line here:

And that's why her dustbins had a shed of their own.
Like a mirror, each one of those bins it had grown!
You could read every line in your face, boys!

should read:

Like a mirror, each one of those bins it had shone!

(thus enabling one to see one's face lines -- after all her cleaning).

???? ~;o)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: woodbridge dog disaster
From: GUEST,M'Grath of Altcar
Date: 13 Apr 03 - 03:39 PM

Anyone got a tune for this gem? Any format.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woodbridge Dog Disaster (Royston Wood)
From: Catamariner
Date: 29 Dec 13 - 03:11 PM

Tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFDgiofbQPA or download the song from Amazon or any service that sells Stan songs. Nathan Rogers also has his amazingly true-to-Stan version of it on his website -- it was windy at the Stanfest that day so they will never be using this particular recording in an album, but you get both the tune and how stunningly like his Dad he sounds when he wishes to! http://www.nathanrogers.ca/music.html and search on Woodbridge.

Stan definitely sings "it had grown," implying her cleaning efforts gradually polished the bins.

The carpenter's mate was a dirty joke told by Navy folk in and after WW2/Korea, the point being a misunderstanding of "screw" -- of the which there are many in naval parlance, the largest being the thing that makes the ship go.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woodbridge Dog Disaster (Royston Wood)
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 10:59 AM

Phew, relieved to find this was Woodbridge, Ontario, and not Woodbridge, Suffolk, UK, where folks are too busy counting their money to do any cleaning - they have people to do that for them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Woodbridge Dog Disaster (Royston Wood)
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Dec 13 - 02:35 PM

Careful Rusty I have just moved from there and never counted my money once.
I was just going to post this song to some of my old mates, shame it's not the Suffolk load of balls.
Al