Ten Commandments of Jamming

Subject: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Easy Rider
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 09:53 AM

This is a scream. I found it on another forum:

The Ten Commandments of Jamming

I. Thou shalt not ever forsake the beat.

II. Thou shalt arrange thyselves in a small circle so that thou mayest hear and see the other musicians. Thou shalt listen with thine ears to the songs and attempt to play in accord with the group; also, open thine eyes betimes to look about thee, lest there be some visual sign someone is endeavoring to send thee. Thou shalt play softly when someone lifteth his voice in song, when playing harmony, and when thou knowest not what thou art doing.

III. Thou shalt play in tune. Tune thine instrument well, and tune it often, with thine electric tuner, lest the sounds emanating from thine instrument be unclean.

IV. Thou shalt commence and cease playing each tune together as one, so that the noise ye make be a joyful noise, and not a heinous tinkling that goeth in fits and starts, for that is unclean, and is an abomination. Whensoever a musician sticketh forth his foot, as though he were afflicted with a cramp in the fatted calf, thou must complete the rest of that verse, and then cease.

V. Thou shalt stick out thine own foot or else lift up thy voice crying, "This is it!" or "Last time!", if thou hast been the one to begin the song, and it has been played sufficient times over. If the one who began a tune endeth it not by one of these signs, then the tune will just go on and on, like the Old Testament, until the listeners say, "Hark! It all soundeth the same."

VI. Thou shalt concentrate and thou shalt not confound the music by mixing up the "A" part and the "B" part. Most songs, but not all, proceedeth according to the ancient law, "AABB", but if thou sinneth in this regard, or make any mistake that is unclean, thou mayest atone - not by ceasing to play - but by reentering the tune in the proper place and playing on.

VII. Thou shalt be ever mindful of the key the banjo is tuned in and play many tunes in that key, for the banjo is but a lowly instrument, which must needs be retuned each time there is a key change.

VIII. Thou shalt not speed up or slow down accidentally when playing a tune, for it is an abomination. (See commandment I)

IX. Thou shalt not, by thine own self, commence noodling off on a tune the other musicians know not, unless asked or unless thou art teaching that tune, for it is an abomination, and the other musicians will not hold thee guiltless and shall take thee off their computer lists, yea, even unto the third and the fourth generation.

X. Thou shalt have fun and play well.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: jeffp
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 10:00 AM

Beautiful!!!! Print it and post it everywhere there is a session.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 10:14 AM

Reminds me of that Lamentations of the Father, about how thou shalt eat, but not in the living room. Very entertaining (and in this case, educational!).

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 11:14 AM

HEY EEZ!

Well there's no question that I've been accused of playing God (or even worse..being "professional") by suggesting a few of these things, so maybe I was right all along. God WANTS music to sound good!!

Surprise, surprise.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: The Shambles
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 02:48 PM

Keep on taking the tablets.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,John Leeder in Calgary
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 03:18 PM

I disagree with the Seventh Commandment. A banjo player who can't retune on the fly is in the wrong jam, and should be looking around for a turtles session. The other players shouldn't have to adjust their repertoire to accommodate the banjo player. (I speak as one accustomed to playing clawhammer-style 5-string banjo in Celtic sessions.)

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Willie-O
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 03:27 PM

Mostly I quite agree. Take some issue with the ninth though, although I understand the point. This is self interest mostly. Nothing wrong with playing a tune they haven't heard before--everybody needs exposure to new stuff and other repertoires. Doesn't hurt the dynamics of session-as-performance for there to be a solo occasionally , either.

Willie-O

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: black walnut
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 04:03 PM

Commandment VII. Substitute "dulcimer" for "banjo".

~'nut

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,Pete Peterson
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 04:20 PM

Gosh things move fast on the Internet! i just saw this for the firsttime last night as a forward from a friend and now it has reached Mudcat. I think this was mainly meant for teh old time world where out of kindness for the banjo player one DOES play a number of tunes in a row in the same key. If for instance you are in D then the banjo player, without a capo, has tuned a D A D F# (the "double C" tuning, raised a whole tone, the fiddler has probably tuned the G string up to A, and if I am the guitar player, then I have dropped the lowest string to D. Each key has its own set of open notes. I remember a very good Galax band doing one 40 minute set entirely in the key of D, and doing their second set entirely in A. When Otter Chaos does a gig the banjo player generally takes two banjos so she does not need to retune EVERY string to switch keys. I agree that for Irish seisuns, different rules apply. . . YMMV I also think that there needs to be a balance between playing old favorites all the time 7 never learning anything new, and playing one new tune after another that nobody else knows, led by a demonically (sp?) possessed fiddle player, as has happened to me more than once. (One sometimes wonder if they ever repent of the bargain they made after it is Too Late)

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Mark Clark
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 05:15 PM

Corollary to III: If thou playest the harmonica, accordian, autoharp, hammered dulcimer or any instrument not readilly retuned (however perfectly tuned and at standard pitch) and the session has settled in at a different (although possibly erroneous) pitch, thou shalt listen with calm repose and withhold even thy most inspired tones.

Special purpose commandment for bluegrass festivals:
Unless specifically invited to do so, thou shalt not jump into a session if your instrument is already represnted in the group.

The commandments are great. They should be printed on every poster, festival flyer and invitation.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 07 Jun 00 - 05:38 PM

"the banjo is but a lowly instrument, which must needs be retuned each time there is a key change." -

That's only the ones with an extra string stuck on the side.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 01:18 AM

Or tenors with skin heads, McGrath!

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 04:18 AM

Well I read them all and if that's about jamming, I'm surprised there is no mention of pectin anywhere. Seems to me it would be a requirement for a good, solid jam.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 05:16 AM

Since this thread has started to creep (thanks,'Spaw) I think I can shoehorn this in here:
The Teen Commandments are but four:
Loaf about
Moan
Pick spots
Stay in bed
not our teen Mudcatters, of course who are all putting us to shame with their musical accomplishments.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,Rich(stupidbodhranplayerwhodoesn'tknowbetter
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 05:42 PM

McGrath, thou shalt be sensitive and not make fun of the cancerous growthon the neck of the banjo

Rich

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: The Shambles
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 07:40 PM

The 13 of how to have a 'good' session.

1 Thou shalt always begin the session with Abilene.

2 Thou shalt always end the session with Star of the County Down.

3 Thou shalt not lead more than one song at a time, unless for the leader, who will be able to sing two practically identical sounding songs, by declaring one of them to be an 'all sing' song. These become 'all sing' songs because everyone is prepared to learn the leader's songs but the leader is unable or unwilling to learn anybody else's songs.

4 When, it is indicated by the leader, that you can at that point lead a song, you must at all times be prepared to follow the leader's instructions as to the nature of the song, being 'upbeat' or any other such direction.

5 Thou shalt not play thy instrument too loud or too fast or in any way contrary to the leader's instruction.

6 Thou must at all times attempt to lead with a song that the leader is familiar with or risk the leader standing up in the middle of the room and the middle of the song, turning their back on you and starting a conversation.

7 Thou should at all times be prepared to play solos on the instrument and at the time indicated by the leader.

8 Thou shalt always sit where the leader indicates.

9 Thou shalt not sit where the leader always sits, even when the session has been in full swing before the leader's arrival (see also 1)

10 Thou shalt be prepared at all times for public instruction on how to play your instrument from the leader.

11 Thou shalt be prepared to accept that as these instructions and criticisms are delivered in a 'half jokey' fashion. You will have little or no justification to be upset or angered by them and must resist at all times the temptation to punch the leader on the nose. For if you do not resist this temptation, you will be seen to have 'spoilt the session' for others.

12 Thou shalt always have a good time.

13 On occasions when the leader is not present, thou shalt do thy best to somehow have a good time, in their absence..

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 08:01 PM

If there's a leader it's not a session.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: sophocleese
Date: 08 Jun 00 - 08:01 PM

Methinks thou'rt feeling a little grieved Shambles. Hast thou relevant experience to this concern?

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: The Shambles
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 07:13 AM

Yeah, and hast been now cast out to wander in the wilderness.

Sorry to offload but I was interested if anybody else could identify with such a description.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Gypsy
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 11:19 AM

Shambles, unfortunately what you were was an unpaid studio musician. Either find or start a proper jam session, and have some fun! The only kind of leadership we have at our sessions is someone to make sure that EVERYBODY gets a turn, including the newest and greenest of players! I am so sorry about your former situation.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 11:29 AM

Quite frankly Shambles... If I was at a session ran like that, I'll tell this "leader" to wad it up into a tight little ball and cram it with wallnuts! What kind of music nazi was/is this 'leader'???

There was a guy who ran his band like that locally for a while... Now he plays solo, if at all!

And it looks good on him!

{~`

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From:
Date: 10 Jun 00 - 07:56 AM

Shambles, come to Halifax. We don't seem to treat people like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Mark Clark
Date: 08 Sep 01 - 07:57 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 10:39 AM

The Ten Commandments be fine and wonderful. I think I'm going to post it on my website along with the performers' guide. Is there any way of finding who the originator is? - I do like to give proper credit.

One related snippet - seen on an Elderly Intruments t-shirt: "Tune it or die!"

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Alice
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 11:13 AM

Shambles, I know of a session like that... and I don't go to it!

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 10 Sep 01 - 03:28 AM

Roger, I know the thread creepeth, but I would love the Lamentations of the Father. Canst thou post it (new thread)?

Arjay

Subject: RE: BS: Ten Commandments of Jamming
From: Hamish
Date: 10 Sep 01 - 09:45 AM

Hey - good stuff! Also bits around these subjects on my site, inlcuding:

Floorsinging for Beginners
New to singing in folk clubs? This'll tell you how to start. (Also worth checking out if you're experienced, too!)

First time nerves?
Another spin on starting out.

Joining your first session
Sessions: aimed more at musicians performing in pubs than at singers in folk clubs.

Top Tips for running a session
Collected wisdom on organising a session or a club. Useful ideas for making it go well.

MCing large concerts
What it says on the label...

...enjoy!