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The funniest song you have ever heard II

Pene Azul 09 Jun 00 - 03:44 PM
TheOldMole 09 Jun 00 - 03:48 PM
GUEST,Banjo Johnny 09 Jun 00 - 03:58 PM
GUEST,Banjo Johnny 09 Jun 00 - 04:05 PM
Hotspur 09 Jun 00 - 10:02 PM
GUEST,Meadow Muskrat 10 Jun 00 - 01:14 AM
GUEST,April790 10 Jun 00 - 04:51 AM
mactheturk 11 Jun 00 - 01:25 AM
dwditty 11 Jun 00 - 07:41 AM
dwditty 11 Jun 00 - 07:53 AM
Rick Fielding 11 Jun 00 - 12:48 PM
mactheturk 11 Jun 00 - 09:45 PM
Bobert 19 Jan 02 - 07:39 PM
Madam Gashee 19 Jan 02 - 07:54 PM
Ebbie 19 Jan 02 - 08:59 PM
Susanne (skw) 19 Jan 02 - 09:18 PM
Little Hawk 19 Jan 02 - 10:03 PM
Jerry Rasmussen 19 Jan 02 - 10:24 PM
Bert 19 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM
Genie 19 Jan 02 - 11:38 PM
53 20 Jan 02 - 12:03 AM
kendall 20 Jan 02 - 06:27 AM
alanabit 20 Jan 02 - 07:07 AM
Jerry Rasmussen 20 Jan 02 - 07:55 AM
gnu 20 Jan 02 - 08:04 AM
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Subject: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Pene Azul
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 03:44 PM

This is the continuation of The funniest song you have ever heard!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: TheOldMole
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 03:48 PM

I didn't catch the initial thread, but Fred Koller does pretty well for me as a master of the funny song. I'd suggest two right off the bat -- "Shop shop" and "Let's Talk Dirty in Hawaiian."


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 03:58 PM

I see several votes for Spike Jones, so I'll put in a plug for his parody of TEA FOR TWO (In some secluded rendezvous ... Whoopee!)

Funniest non-parody, HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

--- Johnny in Oklahoma City


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 04:05 PM

I'm new at this posting, missed the roll-over and then gave the wrong title ... it should have been COCKTAILS FOR TWO -- not Tea for Two.

Funniest bluegrass song, how about THE SANTA FE LINE, to the tune of Turkey in the Straw. Wanna hear it?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Hotspur
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 10:02 PM

Flanders & Swann--"the REeluctant Cannibal" Steve Martin does a song called "King Tut" that cracks me up...then there's a song my uncle introduced me to, it's called "Mama ain't dead, she's just playin' possum"


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Meadow Muskrat
Date: 10 Jun 00 - 01:14 AM

Pretty much anything by the Berrymans out of Madison, Wis. is hilarious but if I had to choose I'd pick "Your state's name here", a generic anthem or "The F word song" a treatise on stereotypes who use foul language. Come to think of it the song in which they translate a fictional language from a ventriliquist's dummy in my opinion is comic genius. You can't go wrong with any of their albums. By the way they are performing at the Old Song Festival in Altamont N.Y June23-25.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,April790
Date: 10 Jun 00 - 04:51 AM

Surely you don't expect us to do just one?? *whine*

Ray Stevens is a hoot, and Garrison Keilor makes up some really funny songs, and parodies of old songs. But the funniest song I've ever heard was "Where Oh Where," (from Hee-Haw, you know) sung in German by two serious college professors. I thought I'd die laughing. I wish I'd recorded it.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: mactheturk
Date: 11 Jun 00 - 01:25 AM

Anything by Martin Mull. I mean, this guy is very, very funny, also a fine guitarist.

His song "White Man Sings The Blues" is a classic.

Can't say enough about Martin. Be sure to pick up a copy of his album "SEX AND VIOLINS".

Sincerely,

Mac


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: dwditty
Date: 11 Jun 00 - 07:41 AM

I had forgotten about Martin Mull:

Men
Dirty Words
Noses Run in My Family


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Subject: Lyr Add: MY WIFE LEFT TOWN
From: dwditty
Date: 11 Jun 00 - 07:53 AM

Just thought of one. I can't remember who did it though.

My Wife Left Town

My wife left town with a banana
Life's a rotten deal
I found that yellow sucker hiding in her purse
He's cold and hard, but he's got appeal
I hope it never happens to you
Some fruit breaks your marriage in two
My wife left town with a banana She slipped away
My wife left town with a banana I'm a jealous man
She found a six inch Latin lover
Now she does the tango with her right hand
Right now I could just die
He's eating my banana cream pie
My wife left town witth a banana
She slipped away


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 11 Jun 00 - 12:48 PM

Gotta admit the first time I heard Tom Lehrer's "The Vatican Rag" I almost fell down laughing.

Rick


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: mactheturk
Date: 11 Jun 00 - 09:45 PM

Try Alex Beaton's "Daft Ditties" on Glenfinnan Records if your in the mood for some randy pub tunes...

My favorites there are; "Seven Drunken Nights", "Wee Castanettes" and "The Jolly Tinker."

MP


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 07:39 PM

"Joe, I hear you been laying my old lady" by James Lee Stanley.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Madam Gashee
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 07:54 PM

A few of us went up to Llantrisant folk club on Wednesday to hear Jack "The Bard" Sullivan. He sang a lotta funny stuff. Especially liked Hand in Hand, creased me!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 08:59 PM

Steve Goodman and Shel Silverstein and Randy Newman are among those who wrote hilarious, well-crafted songs. One of the musicians who comes here for music every Friday night sings them all so we are all learning them. Whether bawdy or thought provoking, all of them stand out.

Eb


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 09:18 PM

I don't think 'Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun' has been mentioned!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 10:03 PM

Any one of many by Jake Thakray of the British Isles! I belive that his very funniest of all might be "Sister Josephine". 2 others that come to mind: "When Ulysses Comes Home" and "On Again, On Again, On"

Eric Bogle's "He's Nobody's Moggie Now" and his "Plastic Paddy". As for the one he wrote about not being "willin' to sing Bob Dylan", I heckled some folk club president unmercifully while he was singing that one, and then got up on stage after him and made SURE to sing a couple of Dylan songs, just for him. He was a pretentious git, anyway, making fun of Mr. Bob like that. Bob's version of "Barbara Allen" would make his version sound like a piece of soggy milquetoast. :-)

A number of Dylan's songs from the 60's have some very biting humour and irony in them, although they are not strictly funny songs as much as they are a form of social satirical comment...and "exercises in tonal breath control", of course.

- LH


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 10:24 PM

Either The Hole In The Elephant's Bottom or Boiled Beef and Carrots by the Buskers. Anybody remember them?
Jerry


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Bert
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 10:42 PM

Aha I'd forgotten that one "We kept them at bay with an Oerliken Gun through the hole in the elephant's bottom" Methinks I'm gonna have to learn that. Anyone got the words?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Genie
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 11:38 PM

Some of the songs I've found funniest include:
•Flanders and Swan  - The Hippopotamus Song; Tonga; etc.
•Gunslinger  (Sung by the Limelighters)
•The Merry Minuet  (written by Sheldon Harnick of "Fiddler On The Roof" fame)
•Zeke Hoskins, a B.C. transplant to Bellingham, WA, has lots of funny songs, e.g. - "Blow the Horn Loudly and rev up the truck; we're off to the boondocks to murder the duck!"  (D. K. the title)
•Tom Lehrer--especially The Irish Ballad and the Vatican Rag
•Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear
•Betsy Wells's "How Can I Keep From Purring" is pretty funny, too.
•Lydia, the Tattooed Lady (by the same guys who wrote "Over The Rainbow," E.Y. Harburg and Harold Arlen)
•You Can't Get A Man With A Gun  (Irving Berlin)
•Saturday Night (Tom Paxton)

I agree about Martin Mull.  For a briefgot a cable show of his and I wish I had taped it, because he had some hilarious songs.  Does anyone know where I can get hold of them?

BTW, from a  post by Jill in the previous thread, it was mentioned that "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Doctor!" by Ted Snyder and Irving Berlin would have been especially shocking in "the Victorian era."  I'm curious as to when this song was written.  Many of Berlin's songs were written in the 20's and early 30's.  The "Roaring 20's" didn't get that name by being "Victorian."  A lot of movies and songs from that era were downright risqué (not by comparison to today's rap music, of course, but by comparison with the 1940's and '50's, for example).

Genie


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: 53
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 12:03 AM

WHO'S MAKING LOVE TO YOUR OLD LADY, WHILE YOU'RE OUT MAKING LOVE. SHAME, SHAME. BOB, SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS I HAD THE CAPS BUTTON LOCKED AND IT WAS EASIER TO CONTINUE THAN TO STOP AND START OVER, HOPE YALL FORGIVE ME. OH AND THERE'S ANOTHER ONE CALLED, I AIN'T GONNA DO THE BUMP WITH NO BIG FAT WOMAN.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: kendall
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 06:27 AM

I dont look good naked anymore. written by Sheb Wooley.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: alanabit
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 07:07 AM

Plenty of mentions for Tom Lehrer, Shel Silverstein and Jake Thackery here - and quite rightly too. I particularly like Lehrer's "I Hold Your Hand in Mine" - not least of all because of its breathtaking bad taste! Another favourite of mine, who hasn't been mentioned yet, is Jeremy Taylor. His song "Liberal Man" does a devastating demolition job on those lefties among us who take ourselves too seriously..."I hate him and I loathe him the fathead lah di dahdian/I've a mind to go and thrash him with my copy of The Guardian"... There has also recently been a thread on Miles Wootton, who is another of our national treasures. If anyone can dig me up the words for "The Senile Delinquent" I'll be delighted.


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE HOLE IN THE ELEPHANT'S BOTTOM
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 07:55 AM

THE HOLE IN THE ELEPHANT'S BOTTOM I know is:

I wanted to go on the stage
And now my ambitions, I've got 'em
My friends they all think I'm the rage
As the hole in the Elephant's bottom

Last night, I had some bad luck
The manager said I was rotten
I happened to get my head stuck
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom

My part it is not very long
Nor yet is it easily forgotten
If you're looking for me come and look
Through the hole in the elephant's bottom

There's another verse which only part of comes to mind. Reducing it to words on a computer screen effectively takes most of the humor out of it, though.

Jerry


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 08:04 AM

"Kinda Lonely in the Saddle Since My Horse Died"... which is actually the whole song... it's the setup and delivery, with only one strum of the strings. Don't recall who did it. Same for the next one.

"Hangman Slack That Rope" is my all-time fav and the only blues tune I ever sang... again, delivery and sincerety are the keys...

Hangman, slack that rope.

Hangman, slack that rope.

I said, hangman, hangman, hangman, hangman,

Hangman, slack that rope.

Cause there ain't gonna be no hangin today,

I said, hangman, slack that aacccchhhh!!!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: breezy
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 08:56 AM

My landlady made sandwiches for me tra lala
But I went out and forgot 'em tra la la
So at matinee, she easies a tray
Throuh the ho
I've another 2 verses as well
Hear it at The silver cup on Friday, Harpenden Herts


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 10:14 AM

Chuck Brodsky's "Blow 'Em Away"

I think someone mentioned "Put Another Log On The Fire" in the other thread (I read it last night --that sucker is LONG)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Fasteddy
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 10:53 AM

And nobody mentioned Tom Paxton's Talkin Vietnam or The ballad of Spiro Agnew! -- How about Phil Ochs' Ballad of Nixon and Agnew? And then there's Watt Nicol's gem about 'A wedding tween a lassie and a 'Sodjer hame oan leave' although you have to be from Glesga or surrounding hellhole to understand this one!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Seth from China (now USA)
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 02:16 PM

After thirty five years, I still laugh when Dylan sings " It balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine...", but the funniest song I ever heard is " Roberta, get your big leg offa me" by the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz. I almost wrecked my car when I heard that on the radio one night. I also like Peter Stamfel(?) " Surfin'Angel".


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 02:19 PM

Chuck Brodsky's "Blow 'Em Away" is a flippin' masterpiece! There are actually some folks who take it seriously and launch protests against the song on the basis that it celebrates and encourages irresponsible driving and road rage! Now that is almost as funny as the song itself...

- LH


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Midchuck
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 03:00 PM

Has anyone mentioned Pat Sky's Songs That Made America Famous? More concentrated bad taste and political incorrectness than in any one album ever made. I love it.

Not quite on topic, an old friend who played the bars in our area for many years used to get requests for the MTA song, to the point that he got quite sick of it. When he thought he could get away with it, he modified one verse slightly...

Charlie's wife goes down to the Scollay Square station,
Every day at a quarter past two
And through the open window she gives Charlie a...hand job
As the train goes rumblin' through!

Peter.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM

The Scotsman-looking at his winner with the blue ribbon!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 08:19 PM

...that motorcycle, he's ridin' between
He's splittin' lanes (if you know what I mean)
Well, this cuttin' in line? That's an act of war.
I see him comin'.....
........I open my door!
Knock him over, pull out my pistol, an'
blow him away!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 08:34 PM

"They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Any More" by Kinky Friedman.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Genie
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 03:09 AM

Jill, If you view the 1920's as "Victorian," check out this link about the early Betty Boop

TGenie


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: nager
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 04:24 PM

Just about anything by Yorkshire's Jack Thackray...remembered by many of us for songs like The Cactus, On Again On Again, Sister Jospehine, Isabelle Makes Love Upon National Monuments, The Bantam Cock, the list is just about endless. Magnificent talent.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 04:45 PM

Didn't check the earlier thread so these may be mentioned there - The One on the Left is on the Right, from Johnny Cash; Reality is Bad Enough, from Pat Sky, My Piano Has Been Drinking, from Tom Waits, The Coconut, from Nilsson, I think, The Night Miss Nancy Ann's Hotel For Single Girls Burned Down, from Hank Thompson and also Tex Williams, and the Christmas parody The Restroom Sign Said Men.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 04:48 PM

And among the older songs, The Cat Came Back, Some Little Bug Is Going To Get You Someday, and Thais.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Murph10566
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 05:20 PM

Been checking the thread, and I couldn't find a mention of Christine Lavin, who's written some hilarious stuff... a great performer and a real delight in concert !

I also agree heartily with the posts for Eric Bogle and John Prine as well...

I do recall an old rugby tune entitled "Mary Sue Barnes"... this was SO raw, that my group would save it for the Last song of the Last set of the Last time we knew we'd be playing at a particular Pub... it usually worked...

Murph


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 08:56 PM

Another Peter Stampfel song: "When the Ice Worms Nest Again." and Tom Lerher's "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park".

CB


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: E.T.
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 09:22 PM

Flanders & Swann - don't know the actual title - but it starts "I found a French horn and I started to play it, I found a french horn in a second hand shop. I found a french horn and I started to play it - in spite of the neighbors who begged me to stop." So they finally spirit away the horn - and he take up the Tuba instead! Blat! Blat!

Some time later I found that the tune he's singing to is indeed the e flat Horn concerto (and I find myself singing along to the classical station which is a hoot).


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 10:36 PM

Hmm. Probably "Sex Cow" by GWAR, on their best cd, "Carnival of Chaos". Here's a taste:

"Down in the dark where the wild things grow
We're in there where the people don't go
Licking and sticking and piercing the pud
Blowing and hoeing and covered in mud
We don't care what the people say
Every day is tree frog day
Still they say we live in scuz land
But that's where I met my cuzband
SEX COW! SEX COW! SEX COW!"

Beautiful! Well, I like it. Once you love Sex Cow, ain't nothin' gonna be the same.

I was going to name something off of Bruce McCulloch's "Shame Based Man," but the really funny tracks aren't actually songs, so...

----Lepus Rex


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,hutch21734@ruralcomm
Date: 23 May 05 - 12:49 PM

does anyone have the words to I don't look good naked any more by Sheb Wooley


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Chris B (Born Again Scouser)
Date: 23 May 05 - 02:52 PM

'The Death of Queen Jane'. My wife, Jane, heard it for the first time when she was pregnant and thought it was hilarious. 'Coot oopen moy soide and Foind Moy Bay-Bee'... Priceless.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: lesblank
Date: 23 May 05 - 03:15 PM

To Guest 21734@ruralcomm

PM me your email address and I'll send it to you.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: mandoleer
Date: 23 May 05 - 06:24 PM

No-one's mentioned Dave Summers - author and performer of such gems as 'They're emptying their dogs out down our street', and 'The Belly Button Fluff song'. Or Les Barker, with 'The William Patel Overture' (poppadum poppadum poppadum dum dum), Earwig O, In the Gateaux, Hunting the Wren and others too numerous to mention.
We used to do Sister Josephine many years ago - never knew who wrote it!
And I still like and sometimes perform 'Black Widows in the Privy', but not to the original tune which I can't remember. I use something rather Christmassy sounding with a bit of Chopin to finish off. Probably the only person to play Chopin on the mandolin balalaika....


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Subject: Lyr Add: NIGHT MISS NANCY ANNE'S HOTEL FOR ...
From: GUEST
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:57 AM

I second ARKIE's pick of TEX WILLIAMS recording of:

THE NIGHT MISS NANCY ANNE'S HOTEL FOR SINGLE GIRLS BURNED DOWN

Now Miss Nancy Ann ran a boardin' house
with a faded sign that read
"Single Rooms For Single Girls"
"No Men Allowed", it said
But rumor had it that a gentleman
with a yen for love for a fee
Could always go to Nancy Ann's
for some feminine company

Well one night in June in the Billiard Room
I was chalking up with a friend
He was set to break when the door burst open
and Leo James rushed in
He yelled there's a fire that's just broke out
and it's down at Nancy Ann's
So we dropped our cues on the poolroom floor
and down the street we ran

CHORUS

Though the flames were hot
and the smoke was thick
not a single life was lost
And the reason for the blaze was never found
But it long will be remembered in our local history
As the fire that fairly scandalized the town
The night Miss Nancy Ann's Hotel
For Single Girls burned down

When we got to the place the front was a blaze
and so was the second floor
So we cut around the side and up the alley
and stopped a-side the back door
We were catchin' our breath when the door flew open
and knocked poor Leo flat
And out through the smoke ran Mayor Wills
wearin' nothing but a black silk hat

And right behind him with his shirt tail afire
came the local chief of police
And banker Jones with the red-haired girl
he always said was his niece
And then I spied Miss Nancy Ann herself
helping someone else out of the fire
Her arm around the red bald head
of old Judge McEntire

A deacon, a dentist, a deputy sheriff,
and one state congressman
The county physician, the city mortician,
out through the flames they ran
The grand parade of girls in gowns
and hat claid gentlemen
Through the thick gray smoke that certainly smelled
like french perfume and gin

CHORUS

Now everybody was out at the girl's hotel
by the time the roof caved in
We were headin' back to the billiard hall
when Leo turned to my friend
He said I believe that's the funniest show
I've ever seen in town
The so called elite caught out in the street
with their pompous purity down

CHORUS

[Ray Stevens XEROX CHRISTMAS LETTER is a hillarious also]

gene


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:26 AM

Anyone mention Moxy Fruvous?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:31 AM

...or Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: frogprince
Date: 24 May 05 - 06:42 PM

There are already some votes in for Lou and Peter Berryman material.
Their "Uncle Dave's Grace" is way up there on my list.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: HuwG
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:24 PM

E.T. , the Flanders and Swann parody of a Mozart horn concerto was "Ill Wind".

Here is a link to an earlier thread on the song.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Hess
Date: 25 May 05 - 04:21 AM

...and then there's Kath Tait!! who has written so many hilarious/poignant etc numbers

http://kath.elencomp.co.uk/


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Trevor
Date: 25 May 05 - 09:15 AM

Snuffy singing Les Barker's 'Belle's Bonny Bogie' nearly did for me.

What about those old C&W favourites 'When You Leave Me Walk Out Backwards So I'll Think You're Coming In', 'I Tried To Drown My Sorrows But They've All Learnt How To Swim', and of course, best of all, 'I Call My Willie Nelson 'Cos He's Only Got One Eye'.

And does anybody remember the wendition of 'Cwying Over You' in an episode of 'Only Fools and Horses'?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Curious Clouseau
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:41 PM

Seamus Moore does a great version of Bang Bang Lulu called "Bang Bang Rosie".
Also good is Ronnie Barkers "Stuttering Bum" which always gets a laugh :o)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,si
Date: 26 May 05 - 03:43 AM

Hey has anyone got the lyrics to UNDER THE AARDVARK by that comic singer from London, Peter someone (?). heard it late one night at the cambridge FF but never since. God it's good.

Now as for all the other entries above - well great, but please provide links ( where available) so we can savour them too.

Oh, and to fly the flags for the Aussies , I have to mention THE SENSITIVE NEW-AGE COWPERSONS. here they are - www.cowpersons.com . Hmm didn't do that right did I. I would indeed quote some lyrix to take my own advice, but cannot find any on their site. Anyway they do lots of Abba a la bluegrass, oh and hendrix and others.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Gurney
Date: 26 May 05 - 04:32 AM

About half of the songs I know are funny, including numbers from Flanders & Swann, Thackray, Lehrer, Skellern, and Tait, but the thing that almost made me burst something was a poem from Les Barker called 'Voicemail.' Hilarious until the punchline, then hold your stomach.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Nancy King
Date: 26 May 05 - 10:54 AM

A year or so ago in Maine, I heard David Dodson do a song he had written involving yodeling and opera. I don't know the name of it, but how many could there be? I probably missed a good deal of the words, too, because I was laughing so hard. I'd love to hear it again, and if you ever get a chance to see David, ask him to sing it for you. Priceless.

Nancy


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Joe Hill
Date: 26 May 05 - 11:19 AM

I can't believe no one has mentioned Adrian May. Hundreds of brilliant songs.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 05 - 04:33 PM

Ghost Chickens in the Sky.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: paddymac
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:52 PM

Ray stevens had quite a few, but I've always found the one about the squirrel getting loose in church to be one of the funniest I've ever heard.


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Subject: Lyr Add: DA WATERBED WAS FILLED WIT GLUE DA ...
From: GUEST,MadDawg Norm SIegel
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 12:53 PM

There are tons, many of which I have performed. "Yippe Oy Vey Hoo Ha, Get Along Little Camels/Round Up Time in Israel" by Israeli singer Ron Eliran, anything by Tom Lerher, The Berryman's, Flanders & Swann, anything by Larry Rand, formerly of Chicago, and so may others too numerous to mention.

Here is one of Larry's

DA WATERBED WAS FILLED WIT GLUE DA NIGHT DAT I GOT STUCK WIT YA POLKA

My name is Stosh I am hip I got class and pride
I run de only head shop on Chicaga's Nort West side
But now I sing a different tune Sumpthin I bin true
Da waterbed was filled wit glue da night dat I got stuck wit ya polka

I taut youse was a hippie casue youse dressed dat way
I shoulda known dem shoppin bags sure gave you away
But a Peter Max Babuska misled me dear dats true
Da waterbed was filled wit glue da night dat I got stuck wit ya polka

When I tink about dat evenin udder people scoff
About da time we got it on and couldn't get it off
I won't admit ta being black but boy I sure am blue
Da waterbed was filled wit glue da night dat I got stuck wit ya polka


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: SouthernCelt
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 01:34 PM

Haven't read every message but didn't see these anywhere:

"Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie -- more of a one song set in an act than a true song but it's funny as hell, especially if you "came of age" in the draft era (1970 plus or minus about 5 years) and had to take a draft physical. "The Motorcycle Song" was pretty good too.

Someone mentioned Ray Stevens and, yes, he had several albums worth of comical songs. I think my favorites may have been "Ahab the Arab" (very early in his career), "Along Came Jones" and "The Shriners' Convention."

On the Celtic music side, one of the best might be "Seven Drunken Nights." The version I have is by the Brobdingnagian Bards but I think it's been done by a lot of groups. The basic song is funny but the way it's performed adds a lot too, especially the way the Bards do it.

SC


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 01:43 PM

Cows With Guns by Dana Lyons

I could tell you stories about the cow revolution -- but I think you had to be there.....


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 03:38 PM

Cosmetheka ( that spelling must be incorrect!) used to do a old music hall song called " I've only come down for the day" which is very un-p.c. but always had me in tucks. Of course, they had a terrific way of delivering a song.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Scoville
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 03:43 PM

It's still "Twenty Naked Pentecostals".


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: oldhippie
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 06:10 PM

"Rufus & Beverly" (Lyn Hardy) recorded by the Rude Girls.

Berryman's "Are You Drinkin' With Me Jesus" - Country Dick Montana


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 06:30 PM

Is this a hypothetical question?

I mean, how will I or anyone else know when we've heard 'The funniest song you have ever heard'

We'd only be able to have this info after we've gone deaf or died!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Apr 07 - 08:29 PM

Ballad of Minepit Shaw, A Chat with Your Mom, Christmas Goose, The Frozen Logger, Get Up and Go, Hippopotamus, The Good Boy, In the Bath, The Irish Ballad, The Lobster, Lolly Too Dum, Lumpytums, The Prodigal Son, Puttin' On the Style, The Sloth, Torelli.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Dana Lewis aka Carlos Borzenie jr.
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:31 AM

I made up this fictisous ( no such person) person called Carlos Borzenie Sr. of the Bounce Borzenies, some one had stoled a plack from a monument so i made a memorial plack & attached it to the monument in a San Francisco park. Starting an anual dedication
BUT
Dr Demento was having a song competion & you could only enter once.
My brother & I had written about 150 to 200 songs, so we entered with
as many names that we could think of, AND as luck would have it my made up character WON.

I held an annual park dedication for 8 years.
There is a lot more fun that took place ( at that time I did all of the booking & overall operation of the entertainment events at the Cow Palace - a 15,000 seat arena & 300,000 sq ft exhibit space )
The plack reads " BORZENIE MEMORIAL PARK Dedicated to Carlos Sr. who said 'The only things you miss in life are the things you have bit done' From the Brothers & Sisters"

My email is danalewis@hotmail.com and would be glad to send you some pictures etc etc verifing it (free).

May all your days be Circus days.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: alanabit
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:55 AM

Roy Zimmerman songs like "Dick Cheney", "Chickenhawk" and "Jerry Falwell's God" are making me chuckle at the moment. I think he is up there with Tom Lehrer. For his affectionate take offs of crazy and perverse people, I will always love Shel Silverstein. All those writers produced so many dynamite songs, it is hard to pick a favourite. My favourite line is probably from Silverstein's "Freakers' Ball", when he sings, "It feels so good it must be wrong..."


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:59 AM

Eddie Bakers Bone Shaker,
sung by Bob Cleveland in the Ferryhouse at Burton on Stather brought the house down.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: oldhippie
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 07:49 AM

Oh, and Hank Thompson's "The Night Miss Nancy Anne's Hotel For Single Girls Burned Down"


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,HughM
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 08:20 AM

My lunch hour is about to finish, so I'll leave it to the rest of you to think of some nominations by Colm Sands, Ritchie Kavanagh, Johnny Handle, Hamish Imlach, and Adam McNaughtan (maybe Cholesterol or Hamlet).
   The Duncan McFarlane band do a hilarious song about a computer.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Edmond
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 09:57 AM

Here's another couple of verses from "The Elephant's Bottom" - non-PC or what ?

There's plenty of room down inside
For bottles of beer if you've got'em (We've got 'em !)
And you should hear the laughs
When I blow out the froth
Through the hole, etc.

A nancy-boy came to the show
And before they could stop him
He'd shoved a great big bouquet (Through what ?)
Through the hole in the Elephant's Bottom !

The Pennine Folk used to do a great version, as did the Cheshire Folk. One Member of the Cheshire Folk used to get p*ssed off with "Audience Participation" (the bits in brackets).

Bryn Pugh


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 11:02 AM

Tho't of 3 other GUDens

Charlie Daniels - Easy Rider

Ray Stevens - Vacation Bible School
             [Smoky Mountain Rattlesnake Retreat]

Johnny Cash - Chattanooga City Limit Sign


if ya wanta hear them or Miss Nancy Ann's Hotel...

Email: CN8GV9@aim.com

Hint: Ur server must be able to handle LARGE files

or I CUD shrink 'em fer ya.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 11:28 AM

A Canadian duo named Bowser and Blue concocted a paean to an under-appreciated segment of the medical community with a little ditty called "Workin' Where the Sun Don't Shine" - AKA, "The Colorectal Surgeon's Song." It was actually composed for a conference of same at the request of the doctors. Apparently, they loved it.

"We praise the colorectal surgeon,
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness,
Workin' where the sun don't shine!"

I think I may have repressed the rest....


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Rog Peek
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 11:51 AM

When I was about 8 or 9yrs, me and the boy next door got his brother's 78s out to play them. One of the songs I think was called 'The Noisy Eater'. Anyone heard of it? It had us in stiches at the time, I don't know if I would find it funny now.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Cragrat
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 12:02 PM

Kilkelly, Ireland just cracks me up. The perfect parody even if it was written straight.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Woody wood
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 03:50 PM

Dr. Busker's 'Captain Beaky' is the funniest song in the world....no question about it.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Nick E
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:38 PM

Here is a contender for me...
Don't know the title, and the punchline comes in the last line but it
involves a lass who becomes infatuated with a "Gypsy" with curly locks and hankerchief of blue. The gypsy sends her on her way because he is a gypsy and the girl is 8 years old. Luaughed out loud.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Miserablist
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:39 PM

Never heard a 'funny' song that made me laugh more than once. Keep humour out of music, that's what I say!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 06:53 PM

When I was a boy we had among our 78's 'The Old Sow', a song with assorted grunts and whistles in the chorus. It cracked me up then, and it still does. I can't sing it any more because I can't do the whistle due to missing teeth, but if I hear someone else sing it I still find it hilarious.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,jay
Date: 06 Jul 07 - 10:19 PM

Waylon Jennings sang a song called "Get Naked With Me". The song starts
out like a nice love tune, but then he gets to the chorus, and: "I don't
see why you don't get naked with me". It really cracks you up the first
time you hear it, because you're not expecting it by the way the verse
goes.
He also sang "Trouble Man", that starts out: "I was so ugly, the doctor
slapped my Mama when I was born. Then he took out his pocket knife, and
cut off my horns.
Ode To My Car by Adam Sandler is a great song, also.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Golightly
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 04:24 AM

I'm very fond of the Austin Lounge Lizards singing Terry Allen's 'A Truckload of Art'

An important artwork
Was thrown burning to the ground
Tragically landing in weeds
And the smoke could be seen
For miles all around
But nobody knows what it means

But my current favourite, for its breathtaking bad taste, is 'You've Got Aids' from the cartoon Family Guy.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: mkebenn
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 09:12 AM

Steven's "Cow Patty" is a hoot.Shel's "Got stoned and missed it" would be hilarious if I hadn't lived it. Mike


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Celtaddict
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 09:45 AM

Burl, Seamus Kennedy is still performing 'The Old Sow' regularly, and it cracks me up. I have to learn it for my nephew and granddaughter.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: kendall
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 09:55 AM

Mamma Fried by Woodchuck's Revenge.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 01:16 PM

I had to come up with a yardstick with which to measure these things. I've decided that, in order to qualify, a song has to be hilarious even after the fourth or fifth hearing. So many side-splitters have that effect once. How many convulse you after repeated playings?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: kendall
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 05:11 PM

Humor doesn't work that way.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Joseph de Culver City
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 05:35 PM

'Dear Abby'-John Prine

'Rehab' -Stew (The Negro Problem)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Clontarf83
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 06:04 PM

Overheard at a party in dublin: (tune is the girl i left behind me)

I will sing you a song that's not too long
Politicians have no fathers....

other favourites:
Lanigans ball
Don't pet the dog (Pinkard and Bowden)
Sister Clarissa (Michael Smith)
Zen Gospel Singing (Mark Graham)
Peeing in the snow (Buddy wasisname and the other fellers)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Smokey.
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 07:00 PM

'The Ballad of Billy Kershaw' - Jake Thackeray


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Don Firth
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 07:49 PM

From "The Red Green Show" (Canadian television series that ran a whole 300 episodes and is still being played on some U. S. public television stations).

Arnie Doogen appears from time to time on the "Experts" portion of the show. He's a roofer by trade, but that's just his day job. He writes country songs (13,000 so far, he says) and he's just waiting for his singing career to catch on. He invariably appears with one leg in a cast and wearing a neck brace, the hazards of the roofing trade. He also has a guitar in his lap, which (when he introduces his latest song, much to the distress of Red and Harold), he plays it flat on his lap, strumming with his right hand, and playing chords with his left thumb (no complicated harmonies).

His songs seem more or less tuneless, and they neither rhyme nor scan, so he does them sort of like Gregorian chants while Red and Harold sit there looking slightly horrified.

This is one of his better ones, as well as I can remember it:
When you feel like a toad crossing the road of life
And everything that happens to you feels like a steel-belted radial,
As you lay there in a puddle of your assorted bodily fluids,
Just remember:   you made your mark.
It may be copyrighted, but I'm not sure anyone would actually want to take responsibility. . . .

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Lighter
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 09:34 AM

Purple People-Eater.

Best title: "O'Brien is Tryin' to Learn to Talk Hawaiian (to His Honolulu Lou)" (Al Dubin, 1918).


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Lighter
Date: 12 Sep 09 - 09:35 AM

Check out a contempo arrangement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7_3C3OVkVQ


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: oldhippie
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 03:43 PM

Also, for an old song - "I'm My Own Grandpa"

Someone mentioned Billy C Wirtz, listen to "Big Bad Jess" pretty funny stuff.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Midchuck
Date: 14 Sep 09 - 04:34 PM

Although I may risk being accused of entering into a mutual backscratching conspiracy, I would suggest "I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore" - but Kendall's particular performance of it. The Down East accent is perfect for that.

Even if is IS Too Much Information.

"The Field of the Willows" is just about as good. I strongly recommend this new CD. I'm so glad those performances were preserved.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Sep 09 - 03:03 AM

Aaron Wilburn has some real funny ones. Check him out on youtube
Also check out Bowser and Blues new one called Speedo man also
on youtube. (I think there song called the colorectal surgeon has been mentioned but it is also worth checking out on youtube.
Another group called Pete and Wayne-check out their website and cds have some great tunes. There song I'm buying a seven eleven to stairway to heaven is great. As well the Rectum of the Ella Fitzgerald to the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is a classic. I get great responses to these.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Leadfingers
Date: 15 Sep 09 - 08:18 AM

Leonard Cohen's One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong ! I refuse to believe that was NOT written as a Comedy Song !!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: autoharpbob
Date: 15 Sep 09 - 10:31 AM

""Rufus & Beverly" (Lyn Hardy) recorded by the Rude Girls."
Agree its hilarious - but it is by Mark Graham, and Bryan Bowers has a great recording of it on "For You"
Almost anything by the late Jake Thackray, or Les Barker (Mrs Ackroyd)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Sep 09 - 06:05 PM

"Queen Anne Front" (in DigiTrad) is gentle humor.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Bert
Date: 15 Sep 09 - 09:02 PM

"I love your private parts" by Vicky Vincennes is pretty funny.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Flu-Bird
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 04:56 PM

Anything by WEIRD AL YAKLOVICH and YOU CANT ROLLERSKATE IN A BUFFALO HEARD by ROGER MILLER,


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Elmore
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 10:00 PM

" waltzing Around in the Nude" by Dick McCormack


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 06 Apr 11 - 11:30 PM

The Scotsman and Little Boxes both by Mike Cross
Cold Pizza For Breakfast and Bald Headed Men both by Christine Lavin
Life Gets Teejus by ?
Live Free Or Die sung, but not written by Hayes Carll
Chickens written and sung by Hayes Carll
A song by Todd Snider about a guy who got kicked out of every bar in town so he made one in a tool shed in his back yard. What was the name of that bar?
Todd also wrote a song called Beer Run which is pretty funny, but the introduction is even funnier. He talks about writing the song and then "a couple of years later Garth Brooks wrote it again."


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: DrugCrazed
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 03:42 AM

One For Them And One For Me by Mike Phirman


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: FloraG
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 07:04 AM

During the Faversham hop festival evening sing arounds I always ask one of the mummers to do ' going to Morrow'.    Its a music hall song with some lovely lines like ' if you want to go to Morrow today you should have left yesterday.
FloraG.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Diva
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 08:22 AM

At last years Frank Harte festival I heard "The Drawers my Iris wore" for the first time...........brilliant thought I was a gonner I laughed so much. If I knew how to do blue clickys I'd post it. Very clever and very very funny


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 09:06 AM

Chap at our club, Arthur does a song called Brown Bread, a skit on the Hovis (he were a great baker our Dad) Adverts. Really side splitting


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Mr Red
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 01:20 PM

Paddy's Sick Note / Pile of Bricks (Pat Cooksey of this parish)

and pre-dating that - Even listening to Gerrard Hoffnung do the story I can't help laughing even though I know most of the gist. And I have seen references to earlier stories of that ilk. But Mr Hoffnung (Debate at the Oxford Union LP (CD etc)) has a delivery that just - well - timing is everything.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 01:38 PM

Mike Cross' tune was not Little Boxes, I must've been thinking of Malvina at the time. Mike's tune was Little Ditches, about a family who all worked in the undertaking business.
"We made our riches
Putting folks in little ditches
Six feet under the ground."

"Papa looked just like an old church deacon
But underneath he really was a clown.
He said,"Folks are just dying for our service
And you know we'd be the last to let 'em down."


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Arkie
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 01:44 PM

Mention of Red River Dave brings to mind "Clinging Lovers of Kenya", a song of a philandering couple being caught by the wife who super glued the pair together and "The Ballad of the Pine Tarred Bat".

Cliffie Stone's "The Grunt Song" is also good for a chuckle or two.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Smokey.
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 02:04 PM

I think the most I've ever laughed at a song was my first hearing of 'The Sound of Music' as done by the Bonzos on their 'Gorilla' album.

However, the funniest line I ever heard in a song was intended to be serious, which only added to the effect: "I would crawl on my hands and knees to reach your back door".

I can only apologise to the author for my involuntary reaction and lamentably bad taste, but it rendered me virtually incontinent.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Apr 11 - 06:29 PM

Likewise, "Is this the way it always is in Baltimore?" always gets a smile from me.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: tritoneman
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 02:44 AM

Yes, a lot of the Bonzos stuff is funny. I don't know which one made me laugh the most. Possibly 'Mr Apollo', 'Sport' or most likely 'Hunting Tigers Out In India'.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Smokey.
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 11:26 AM

'My Pink Half of the Drainpipe'


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Colin Randall
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 11:38 AM

Tony Capstick's "Capstick Come Home" - a mock-tragic slice of pit village nostalgia, taking off the Hovis bread ad and set, like the ad, to Dvorak's The New World Symphony' - was sublime.

You can read the lyrics here -
http://www.mds975.co.uk/Content/funnies6.html

- though I'm the first to admit they don't look quite as fun written down as delivered in Tony's Yorkshire dialect.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 12:30 PM

I think "Bad Blood" is my favourite Bonzos track - hilarious take off of "A Boy Named Sue".

"I've been chasing that particular sonofabitch for years and you just shot him and spoiled everything - I could have been a doctor or an architect!"


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: DocMando
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 03:49 PM

The last funny one I worked up was "If My Nose Was Runnin' Money".

Chorus:
If my nose was runnin' money, I'd blow it all on you
I'd buy you a Cadillac, a new Mercedes too
I'd build you a mansion up on that mountaintop
If my nose was running money, but honey, it's not

I also liked Lyle Lovett's "Keep It In The Pantry".


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 06:37 PM

That song sounds a lot like one I heard Arnie Naiman sing called If I Had A Nose Full Of Nickels. I wonder which one came first.

If I had a nose full of nickels
I know just what I would do
I would give them to folks who are having tough times
I know that would bring me a heart full of dimes

I would spend the dimes on streetcars
To take poor kids to the zoo
That would leave me with one streetcar token
Yes my heart would be broke, but not broken

Like I said to Mitch, I would always be rich
With a nose full of nickels and you

Like I said to Mitch, if you're poor and not rich
I would sneeze all my nickles at-you. (achoo)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 06:40 PM

Has anyone mentioned Don't Pet The Dog?

He gets it confused with romance
He ain't been fixed
And he knows some tricks
He'll be asking your leg to the dance.
So don't pet the dog.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 06:44 PM

Sorry, Don't Pet The Dog was written and performed by Pinkard & Bowden.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 06:48 PM

I like the way the late Zeke Mazurek used to sing Ste Anne's Reel to the tune of the fiddle tune:


(A part)
everybody's wondering if Ste Anne's real
If Ste Annes' Real, if Ste Anne's real,
Everybody's wondering if Ste Anne's real,
Is she really really really really real?

(B part)
Is she really really real, is she really really real?
Is she really really really really really really real?
Is she really really real, is she really really real?
Is she really really really really really really real?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Gallus Moll
Date: 08 Apr 11 - 10:02 PM

The (unintentionally) funniest rendition of a humorous song was when I heard 'Hairy Mary' being sung by a man from the Western Isles, probably Lewis or Harris; he really thought he was singing this song of lost love in Glasgow with a Glaswegian accent, when in fact he still had a very strong Hebridean one. Everyone in the room was trying their best not to laugh but there were tears running down faces and people in contortions - -- !


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:12 AM

A year or three back at fylde ff, Accrington Stanley did this brilliant parody of leonard Cohen's Hallelujah!

Really parodies deserve their own thread.

Other favourites were My Daddy is a Left wing Intellectual by Alex Glasgow.

Piss Off - performed by Derek brimstone.

Back in the mists of time Leon Rosselson used to do this song about travelling on the tube - Someone isn't Using Amplex!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: tritoneman
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:37 AM

I always thought some of Jeremy Taylor's songs were very funny. I think one of his best was 'Traffic Wardens Are Go'.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: JHW
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 05:33 PM

Big Col Watson singing the standard words of The Hokey Cokey - In Geordie


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Azoic
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:04 PM

The song ,penned by Les Barker, about GWB.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:19 PM

Oor Hamlet tells the whole story of Shakespeare's Hamlet in 12 verses. I first heard it from Martin Carthy.

words by Adam McNaughton, music Mason`s Apron?

There was this king sitting in his garden all alane
When his brother in his ear poured a wee bit of henbane.
He stole his brother's crown and his money and his widow.
But the dead king walked and got his son and said "Hey listen, kiddo!

"I've been killed, and it's your duty then to take revenge on Claudius.
Kill him quick and clean and show the nation what a fraud he is."
The boy said "Right, I'll do it. But I'll have to play it crafty.
So no one will suspect me, I'll kid on that I'm a dafty."

Then with all except Horatio, cuz he counts him as a friend,
Hamlet, that's the boy, puts on he's round the bend.
But because he was not ready for obligatory killing,
He tried to make the king think he was tuppence off a shilling.

Got a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile,
Told Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Denmark's a bloody jail.
Then a troupe of travelling actors, like Seven Eighty-four,
Arrived to do a special one night gig in Elsinore.

    Hamlet! Hamlet! Loved his mommy!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! Acting barmy!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! Hesitatin',
    Wonders if the ghost's a cheat
    And that is why he's waitin'.

Then Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact
While Horatio and he watched to see if Claudius cracked.
The play was called "The Mousetrap" (not the one that's running now),
And sure enough, the king walked out before the final bow.

So Hamlet's got the proof that Claudius gave his dad the dose.
The only problem being, now, that Claudius knows he knows.
So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit one,
Uncle Claude puts out a contract with the English king as hit man.

And when Hamlet killed Polonius, the concealed corpus delecti,
Was the king's excuse to send him for an English hempen necktie.
With Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to make sure he got there,
Hamlet jumped the boat and put the finger on that pair.

Meanwhile Leartes heard his dad had been stabbed through the arras.
He came running back to Elsinore, toot-sweet, hotfoot from Paris.
And Ophelia, with her dad killed by the man she wished to marry,
After saying it with flowers, she committed hari-cari.

    Hamlet! Hamlet! Nae messin'!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! Learned his lesson!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! Yorick's crust
    Convinced him that men, good or bad,
    At last must come to dust.

Then Leartes lost his cool and was demanding retribution.
The king said "Keep your head, and I'll provide you a solution."
He arranged a sword fight for the interested parties,
With a blunted sword for Hamlet, and a sharpened sword for Leartes.

To make things double sure, the old "belt and braces" line,
He fixed a poison sword tip, and a poison cup of wine.
The poison sword got Hamlet, but Leartes went and muffed it,
'Cause he got stabbed himself, and he confessed before he snuffed it.

Then Hamlet's mommy drank the wine, and as her face turned blue,
Hamlet said "I think the king's a baddie through and through."
"Incestuous, murderous, damned Dane," he said to be precise,
And made up for hesitating once by killing Claudius twice,

For he stabbed him with the sword and forced the wine between his lips.
He cried "The rest is silence," and cashed in all his chips.
They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafter.
And Fortinbras, knee-deep in Danes, lived happily ever after.

    Hamlet! Hamlet! Oh so gory!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! End of story!
    Hamlet! Hamlet! I'm away!
    If you think this is boring,
    You should read the bloody play.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 09 Apr 11 - 06:45 PM

The funniest song I ever heard....

Maria! Maria! Mar-i-a!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Rex Knight
Date: 04 Sep 11 - 04:02 PM

Somebody asked who wrote "the hole in the elephant's bottom". I don't know the answer but I first heard this song sung by Actor/Singer Tony Snell in the early 1950s. He had a "coffe house" then except it was not a house but a Medway Barge mooored just of the Medway at Tonbridge.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Dmarie
Date: 05 Sep 11 - 06:31 PM

Do you have the full lyrics for little ditches. Or a copy you could possibly email. I've been looking fir it everywhere ?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 05 Sep 11 - 08:37 PM

Havn't the time to go through the whole thread but has anyone mentioned Stan Freberg?

Banana Boat Song or Yellow Rose of Texas still crease me up!


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,rechal
Date: 06 Sep 11 - 01:06 PM

Johnny Cash's "City Jail" has always tickled me:


City jail, city jail
Like an old scared dog, I tuck my tail
I hung my head and not a careless word was said
I gotta sleep on the floor once more at the city jail

Back when I first came to this town
I was mindin' my own business (like I always do)
When I saw this waitress in this bus station cafe
And I thought I check out the action (like I always do)
Well, I gave her the eye and made a few choice personal comments
About what I thought mine and her possibilities could be for a team
When she called the badge on me
The badge grabbed me by the arm and he said
What are you doin' hangin' around here for?
And I said for whatever's goin' around.

City jail city jail...

He said no what I mean is what are you doin'
Sayin' things like that to that lady?
And I said what's that lady's doin' with purple hair?
Well the badge said you're a smart aleck, ain't you son?
And I said no sir, I'm just hungry
And he said well you're actin' like a smart aleck
And I said well that's how I act when I get hungry

City jail city jail...

Well he put me outside in a dark corner
And before you could say hypocrite he hit me on the head
And I said oooh please don't hit me on the head
I can't protect myself with these handcuffs on
And he hit me again and he hit me again and he hit me again
And I said please don't stand on my feet when you hit me
I'll break my ankles when I fall

City jail city jail...

Well about that time they threw me in the wagon
And that waitress walked out with a sailor
I said hey you! Not you, I'm talkin' to the purple people eater
Yes you lady! Quote! You're the cause of it all! Unquote.
And she said get me away from that horrible man, Harry.

And as they hauled me away I said everybody have a nice evening


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Mark Ross
Date: 06 Sep 11 - 04:44 PM

THE CASTRATION OF THE STRAWBERRY ROAN gets my vote.

Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Ebbie on a Mac
Date: 07 Sep 11 - 04:02 AM

One of the funniest songs I have ever heard is 'Railroad Bill'. Written by an Andy Breckman.


Sample:

I said one day Bill was walking along
And he saw a kitten stuck in a tree
When he saw what was the matter he ran to get a ladder
To set that kitty cat free
Bill said no, ain't gonna do it
Ain't gonna do what you said
This is a stupid stupid song and as far as I'm concerned
That cat can stay there till it's dead


I said wait a minute Bill, you can't argue with me
For God's sake I just made you up
I got the pen in my hand, I want you up in that tree
I want that cat unstuck
Bill said no, I hate cats
Ain't gonna climb for no cat
He said why don't you have me save a beautiful girl
Who's been tied down to the railroad tracks?


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,blueyedsongstress
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 02:21 AM

HELP! Does anyone have a clue about a song from waaaaaaay back somewhere between the 20's and 40's, about a man who gets tossed off a roof by his love, and then he asks her if she still loves him ?!

I know this is a long shot, but trying to find this for a friend...have had no success in general online searches.

Any help is appreciated ! Thanks so much

blueyedsongstress@yahoo.com ( will not open any e-mail with 'no subject' in the subject line!)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: alanabit
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 03:39 AM

He is not the first man to come to mind when you think of comedy, but I love this! Richard Thompson sings to Janet Jackson.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 04:21 AM

Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny - PM
Date: 09 Jun 00 - 03:58 PM

I see several votes for Spike Jones, so I'll put in a plug for his parody of TEA FOR TWO (In some secluded rendezvous ... Whoopee!

.,,.
SFAICS this has not been corrected in the 10 years & 12 days that have passed since it was posted. I was not told on another forum "MGM, your pedantry is legendary" for nothing. So, in my capacity as the one-&-only Official Legendary Pedant, I must point out that it was COCKTAILS FOR TWO, not Tea For Two!

~Michael~
OLP


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,the joker
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 06:19 AM

3 top candidates are "Shave em dry" by Lucille Bogan which is not only hilarious but also completely disgusting "Reefer Man" by the Harlem Hamfats and also a Welsh guy singing When I'm doing acid to the George Formby tune about window cleaning. The Stash record label has literally dozens of hilarious songs relating to sex, pot smoking and other vices.
Your balls hang down like an old bell saddle, your dick stands up like a steeple,
Your goddam arsehole stands open like a church door and the crabs walk in like people - Top that (Lucille Bogan Shave em dry)


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Musket
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 06:48 AM

A few people mentioning the late Jake Thackray songs and I fully agree.

A personal favourite is On Again, On Again. Bernard Wrigley does a decent version of it, and introduces it as "Anybody who can write a song with the opening line "I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day" gets my vote."

Quite.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Joe_F
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 01:47 PM

I forgot "Hymn to Fat Girls".


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Carole Bannister
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 04:51 PM

"Family Tree" by jake Thackery.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Jun 12 - 05:08 PM

Vatican Rag Tom Lehrer.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jun 12 - 10:41 AM

An honourable mention for Richard Digance's "Sod's Law".


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,bawdy chick
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 11:22 AM

Muppett's version of Ghost Chicken's in the sky or his version of the Turtle song.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Bert
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 02:02 PM

Then there's that CD of Gregorian chants sung in Pig Latin.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST,Spidercake
Date: 28 Jun 12 - 02:09 PM

I heard Michael Johnson recently. He sang a parody of Roy Orbison's "Blue Bayou" that went something like this:

I went out one autumn day,
The sky was dark, the clouds were gray;
A gust of wind caught my toupee
And it blew by you.

I'm going back out there to find my hair
That blew by you.
It's a black toupee with just a touch of gray
That blew by you.
I've got no peace of mind without that piece of mine;
My head looks like a baby's behind.
I wish I dug where to find that rug
That blew... by... you.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 08:09 AM

Bruce Guthro has some very good ones (all unrecorded, but great fun at his live shows). Here's 2 I could find:

Joe

Roses






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: PHJim
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 10:32 AM

Has anyone mentioned Eric Idle's Galaxy Song?

Galaxy Song - Monty Python


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Jun 12 - 09:23 PM

And, oh yes, "Jealous Daddy's Death Song". Not in the DigiTrad! I'll see to that by&by.

And if any you punks try to misbehave,
I'll haunt your asses to an early grave.
I'm tellin' you boys,
Don't you monkey with my widow when I'm gone.


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Subject: RE: The funniest song you have ever heard II
From: terrier
Date: 30 Jun 12 - 02:03 PM

I've not read through this thread so this may have had a mention, if so, I'll give it another. Barrow Poets - Pheasant Pluckers Song (look it up on utube). Best listened to after a few alcholic beveridges, dare you not to laugh.


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