Bummed out and singing anyway (songs)

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 12:27 PM

"I Could Have Danced All Night"

It makes me smile and waltz and sends my cats scurrying in terror that I am going to waltz with them. A previous unfortunate incident which also makes me smile.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Mrr-at-work
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 10:13 AM

and coping...
Barbara, GREAT song. Is it to the tune of anything I might know, as I can't read music? And KFC, I think I will sculpt later, good idea.

Anyway, I do feel a lot better (thanks to you all mostly, but it's also morning, I've had coffee and all) so we can go back to What do you sing when you feel awful?

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Kim C
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 09:49 AM

Mrzzy ----- I can't relate entirely because I don't have any children. And I have wallowed before but thankfully it's been a good while. I find letting loose with a good yodel is helpful - probably because the breathing actually feels good. I also find that writing songs is very cathartic. I guess the last time I wallowed, I had been robbed of my entire paycheck and two credit cards (by subterfuge and not at gunpoint) and I sat down with my bead box and made a really splendid necklace. I never wore it, and later on, I took it apart and used the beads for something else. It wasn't the necklace itself, but the making of it that I really needed.

I wish you all the best. ----------------KFC

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 04:14 AM

"Trouble in Mind"
and insert suitable name in brackets:
Gonna grab me a picket from somebody's fence
Gonna whip [ ] until s/he learns some sense
RtS
:o(

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Escamillo
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:56 AM

We have in common something great in this community: we sing (or play) when we're happy, and when we're sad, and sing and play when we are desperate and when we´re in love. And will sing when going to war and to our own funeral. And there will always be somebody listening and sharing our feelings, and some of them could be our own children.
Best wishes, Mrrzy. Un abrazo - Andrés

Subject: Lyr Add: I CRIED (Ruth Pelham)
From: Barbara
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 03:10 AM

A song about the whole situation that always makes me both laugh and cry is Ruth Pelham's "I Cried".

Today was real tough, I got out of bed,
I cuddled with my teddy bear and then laid down my head
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

I said, "I won't wear those shoes and I won't wear those socks,
And I won't go to school if I can't bring my new rocks,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

Breakfast was a real scene. I would not eat my eggs,
I got jam in my hair and I spilled juice all down my legs,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

School was no better. My best friend was sick.
I got gum all on my homework. In gym I got kicked,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

Came home after school. Fresh muffins on the plate.
(not sure about that line) My daddy poured me a glass of milk and I put down my head,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

My dad said, "What is wrong?" and this is what I said:
"I wish that you and Mom would live together again,"
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.

"Your mom and I are good friends, no longer husband and wife,
But we will always love you, we'll love you all our lives,"
And then we cried, cried, cried, cried.

Today was real tough. I got ready for bed.
I combed my hair and brushed my teeth and put the pillow over my head,
And then I cried, cried, cried, cried.
(gradually slower) cried, cried, cried... cri... (soft snore).

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 02:21 AM

Thanks, all. A great response, heartwarming, just what I need. I almost said needed, but that's premature...
I do feel a lot better reading this thread, you are a great community. Will tell more later...

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: winniemih
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 01:15 AM

Mrzzy, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. Separation from our children comes soon enough as they grow and go off in their own direction, but it is tragic when the separation comes as early as yours has. I haven't experienced anything close to what you must be going through, but as a recent member of the empty nest club I find singing "CALLING MY CHILDREN HOME" allows me to express my feelings of loss. I learned this one from the Emmylou Harris Spyboy CD, written by Lawson/Waller/yates. I hope this helps.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: JamesJim
Date: 14 Jun 00 - 12:21 AM

Mrrzy, I know what you are going through is very painful, but it does get better in time. You may not have custody of your boys, but I don't know of any court that would keep you away from them. That means you would have visitation rights.

I have been through exactly what you are going through. That was so long ago, the pain has vanished. Almost 28 years. My oldest (daughter) is 38 and my youngest (son) is 36. I had them every Tuesday evening, then took them to school on Wednesday. I had them on Friday or Saturday night and all of the next day. Of course, they spent vacation time with me as well. They were 11 and 9 when my world fell apart. They turned out great and I am very proud of them. My daughter is a producer for Showtime (in California) and my son is in Real Estate in Louisville. You know what kind of pain you are going through -- well, just double or triple that for them (depending on their age). They love you and need you.

They will always love you and cherish their time with you. In time they will make their own decisions and be influenced by no one. It's important that you make their lives just as normal as possible. For one, don't give up with discipline when they visit you. I made that mistake. Discipline merely tells them that you really care about them and want to help shape their lives.

Music? I found it hard to concentrate on that when I was going through this stuff. However, I wouldn't sing anything that would take me any lower than I was already. I'd recommend the same for you. You are a good person. Don't forget that. Go on with your life. Find someone else to share it with. I just celebrated 25 great years with my wife. She went through a tough divorce as well. I was an insurance broker and found her in one of my accounts. Treat yourself well. You are special and need to feel that way. If you seek out the company of others, that will help. Your kids need to see a happy parent. It will be tough at first, but don't sit around and mope. That will solve nothing -- I'll bet your X is going on with her/his life.

Best wishes and God Bless.

Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:38 PM

Mrrzy,

Be kind to yourself and if that means wallowing, WALLOW bigtime. Don't let the anger turn to guilt. Be sad, angry, disappointed, anything you feel, be. And then move on. Crying and throwing things can be therapeutic.

You are not redundant on your job or as a father. Love your children. Let them love you and your ex. Try not to let the anger touch them - they will blame themselves when no one is really to blame.

There is always another job. If you have to, you will find one. Meantime, try not to worry about what might happen. You have enough to deal with already.

In a way you have been given a gift. Now is when you will know who your true friends are and maybe even more important how to be a true friend yourself. It will get better.

SS

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:36 PM

If I was feeling sorry for myself down there in Virginia, Mrrzy, I'd probably head over to Patsy Cline's grave in Winchester and talk to her for a while. Maybe I'd talk to her on a moonlight night or when the sun's coming up or on sunny Winchester afternoon. Patsy knew the saddest songs and she sang them so goddam well. (Did you know that Winchester changed sides about 100 times in the Civil War? Must have been wagon loads of sorrow. Knowing makes those Lee Jackson burger taste better.)

From the tales you tell, Mrrzy, I still think you have a sad lyric or two to write yourself. Your thread title would almost make a good hook for a song - just a little editing, like 'Bummed out but still singing.' You could probably write a Hank-cry-your-heart-out-over-this lyric. Hank never had a patent on misery. We all get there at times.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:27 PM

And vent here, this is just the place for it. We won't get sick of you, dear heart. Hang in there.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 10:25 PM

Singing Stephen Foster's HARD TIMES COME AGAIN NO MORE loudly and with great feeling sometimes does it for me. I'm so sorry for your pain. For now, pamper yourself in every way you can, and remember the love you have for those children will always reach them and is never, never wasted.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bflat
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 09:54 PM

You do that. Thanks. Let us know how you are doing.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 09:49 PM

Tomorrow, I'll help someone. Today, I'll wallow...
excellent advice, bflat!

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bflat
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:55 PM

Mrrzy, You are hurting and that is huge. I say go ahead and cry and don't hold it in; tears are a release for your sorrow. When you hurt only time makes it better. For me, if I look around for someone, a friend, who is worst off and needs help and I throw myself into being helpful and in doing so I emerge better. Take the emphasis off of your own situation and it helps with the healing. God bless your efforts and keep in touch with your kids. They will know they are loved by two people who just don't happen to be in love any longer.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:36 PM

Clinton, wallowing is exactly where I'm at, shall I say. Kat/TerriM and all, I don't know what would help other than your well-wishes and messages of sympathy, which do help. Also permission to vent, herewith granted by me, anyone doesn't want to read about it skip this posting.
The worst thing is that I have kind of lost my "support group" in this whole mess; most of my local, "face" friends are my X2B's relatives, who were very very supportive when I first fled with the twins in March '98 but who, understandably, have been less so since things went to court and got nasty. Also, I am beginning to think work is sick of hearing about it or at least am trying to prevent this from interfering with work since we are going through another merger and nobody knows whose department is next for the axe. So, everyone has enough to worry about, including me, as my job is also being "restructured" (which may or may not mean eliminated). As the British say, I may be found "redundant" (so I don't want to spout off there too much, quoi).
*sigh*
Oh well, nowhere to go but up. Back to music: >WALTZING MATILDA, Green Fields of France, THE LETTER EDGED IN BLACK, all make me cry, which is what I need right now. Anything on lost children? I'll see how deeply I can wallow, then I'll cheer up.

I do want to say that I am not suicidal or anything, don't worry about that. I'm just really really really sad and fearful about my boys. Thank you all for listening. I appreciate it.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:07 PM

MY SON CALLS ANOTHER MAN DADDY..Hank Williams

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 08:03 PM

Any Hank Williams, anything hard rock, esp. with a good drumbeat...deating on a drum is usually helpful

Oh, Mrrzy, I am so sorry to hear that...please do let us know if there is anything we can do to help....kat

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Matt Woodbury/Mimosa
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:35 PM

I go with angry songs to keep from crying. Last time I had to use this was in a voice lesson, so I chose "Cruda, funesta smania" from Lucia. I'm sure that's practically no use at all to anyone else, but it seems like this should be a good time to learn all the words to "FOLLOW ME UP TO CARLOW"

When I'm ready to lose it, almost anything sentimental will do, the closer it relates to the specific situation, the faster it'll get me wallowing.

Mimosa

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:14 PM

My good buddy, Len Wallace does a song called "F^ck Off And Die" that really gets me 'over the hump'...

But seems to me yer looking for good "wallowing" music...

Old Ferron...
Garnet Rogers has some good ones too...
Stephen Fearing's 'Welfare Wednesday' is a good song to poen a vein to! Or his "Turn Out The Light"
Old Kris Kristofferson, like "Pilgrim" or 'Sunday Morning Coming Down'
Any and all Old Leonard Cohen... Even some of his new stuff, if you can avoid the cheesy love songs...

Just my few suggestions...

Hope ya get over it...

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: TerriM
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 07:11 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry...how awful for you! When I'm sad I tend to sing songs like Sandy Denny's " Dark the Night" and "Solo"; I've found from experience I can sing them through tears.If we can help, please let us know! love Terri

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:57 PM

Nothing cheerful, songs that try to be cheerful never lift you when you are down.<{>

The Blues. If you ever sing the blues, that's what they are really for.

GOING DOWN THIS ROAD FEELING BAD

RAGLAN ROAD

HARD TIMES COME AGAIN NO MORE

WALTZING MATILDA

To be a pilgrim.

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: bbelle
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:54 PM

I sing anything and everything.

moonchild

Subject: RE: BS: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mbo
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:44 PM

I sing "In Time" by Denny Laine.

--Mbo

Subject: Bummed out and singing anyway
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jun 00 - 06:32 PM

Well, I just didn't get custody of my kids, and I am really not happy at all at all. So I find myself singing that Joni Mitchell song about CAREY get out your cane, rather ad nauseam. I've searched the Forum for good songs of depression and not really come up with anything. I have however seen several Cheer Up threads, so feel free to creep this one into something like that, but the real question is, what do you sing, at the top of your lungs and through your tears, when really, deeply unhappy?