TFTD July 11, 2000

Subject: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: bbelle
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 12:38 AM

For those who may be lurkers in life, the following is food for thought ...

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: PoohBear
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:47 AM

And sometimes the silence will make you weep more than any words....

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: bbelle
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:08 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Bert
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:11 PM

Ah! very true Moonbaby.

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:25 PM

Very nice thought. Wish I thought it...

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Naemanson
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:26 PM

That's why I quit lurking. I wanted to be part of the group and I hope to make it some day.

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 04:15 PM

Naemanson,

What does it seem like that will mean? Oh, you'll have lots of folks tell you that you are part of it NOW, and that is also true... but what does it mean, to you? And how do you plan on it happening?

~S~

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Naemanson
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 06:22 PM

A friendship does not arrive full grown. It has to grow but it cannot grow without participation.

Praise, you and the others, 'spaw, Micca, Mrrzy, Kat, Wyowoman, Joe, Jon, and all the others have been interacting for a long time. You know each other fairly well. As a newcomer I need to feel like I am included and the only way to do that is to post when I have something to say. Assuming I don't irritate too many people I will eventually get that feeling that I belong.

There is nothing you guys are saying or doing to make me feel like I don't belong. It is just a feeling I need to develop. When I start to get razzed and realize that it is all meant in fun, when you guys know something about my family and me, after we've sung to each other on Hearme, perhaps after we meet at a festival or other event, then will I be able to feel like I belong.

I already know a few Mudcatters. I met Barry at Mystic. I know Kendall locally. I've met Sandy and Caroline Paton at a concert and Mystic. I may have even met others but don't know it yet.

So I'll hang out here for a while if you don't mind. I like it here and I like what I've seen of the people.

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Jim the Bart
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 07:08 PM

Naemanson - I, being also new (and not a natural joiner), understand and echo your sentiments. I appreciate the welcoming nature of the long time members here, but fitting in takes time for some. And that's OK. But there are times when silence feels appropriate to me as a new comer. Some threads are like conversation that have been going on for quite a while. And to speak would be not only rude, but foolish. It's so easy to misconstrue words taken out of context, after all, or feel like a rube for stating the obvious. And like the old saying goes - "it is better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and confirm it". Or something like that.

To return to the TFTD (and a good one, at that)the problem, at times, is how best to break the silence. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. And, although words alone never proved a friend a friend or guaranteed one's intentions, I think that to declare oneself is imperative. And to choose ones words carefully an absolute necessity. Saying the words - whether in support of a friend, in defense of an idea, or in opposition to a foe - has a power in and of itself. As does silence.

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Naemanson
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 10:56 PM

I agree with you, Bartholomew, up to a point. Silence is only powerful when your presence is noticed. A silent person standing in front of a raging person has some measure of power. That same silent person out of sight of that raging person has no power and no influence. And here at the Mudcat we have to speak up to be noticed.

Subject: RE: TFTD July 11, 2000
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 12 Jul 00 - 05:20 AM

There is a lot of truth in what everyone has said... when you need the words of a friend, but they remain silent, that is hurtful. On the other hand, if a stranger were to offer words of comfort, we would probably think that presumptuous, or invasive.

As a relative newcomer, I don't post to everything that's going on. In particular, I have refrained from posting on some of the more heated debates on identities/membership/detective work etc... they have just become way too heated, and I'd rather build up slowly.. If you go into a pub where the regulars are having a flaming argument, you don't dive straight in. (Well not in Glasgow you don't)

Not all of us want to use the Mudcat in the same way(s). I can have raging arguments and hassle at home or at work. I don't need to come online for that. I like to come here primarily because its main focus is folk music.

Remember folk music?

Cheers All