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LAUGH OUT LOUD
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LAUGH OUT LOUD |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: bbelle Date: 16 Jul 00 - 03:55 PM My niece just sent this to me and I thought I'd share. It still surprises me when she sends me stuff of an adult nature ... of course, she is married with two little boys ... but, still! It's not bathroom humor, but close enough, I suppose .. A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behing them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?, I'm justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'." |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Micca Date: 16 Jul 00 - 02:26 PM The one I always liked was in the bogs of the Science faculty of a UK University and it was neatly printed above the bog roll holder and simply said " Sociology degrees please take one" |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Mrrzy Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:56 PM 2 bumber stickers that made me pull over so I wouldn't laugh myself into a traffic accident: 1) In large block letters: I'M THE REAL FATHER (then in small letters underneath) Of Your Honor Roll Student. 2) God Was My Copilot- but then we flew into a mountain and I had to eat him! (with a little smiley face wiping its chin with a napkin no less). Others that were pretty funny: |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Jeri Date: 16 Jul 00 - 12:25 PM Morticia, I didn't mean to imply that you were sitting there giggling and not sharing - they were two separate thoughts. (I didn't see the quote before, and swear someone snuck it in there when I wasn't looking. Must find glasses. (Er, really must find brain, but glasses are easier.))
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Bill D Date: 16 Jul 00 - 12:14 PM two more... at a pub in Lawrence KS.,(a university town)...a woman friend came back from the bathroom with a strange look on her face.."you know", she said, "I just saw the weirdest graffiti...right on the door-at eye level as I sat there, it said,""...I usually don't write on bathroom walls, but in this case I'll make an exception..""....for some reason, it cracked us up!..(well, maybe it WAS the cheap beer) on a freshly painted bathroom wall at the Washington Ethical Society, above the urinals... Tabula not-so-rasa the wall was soon covered in graffiti again... |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: kendall Date: 16 Jul 00 - 12:03 PM I saw this in the mens room at the track I hope I break even, I need the money. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Jul 00 - 11:57 AM Man this is great!!! I've had the reverse, in a way, of what Jeri mentioned. I read something that is cracking me up and I want to read it to someone and I can't do it because I'm busting a gut and can barely catch my breath, let alone read! The bathroom things really have cracked me up at times. The quality of graffitti has been consistently declining in the States to the point that these idiots can't even spell "fuck." Talk about an indictment of the educational system! The funniest thing I have ever seen in a john was in college....first floor of the main classroom building, end stall. The walls were tiled with small tiles with those tiny lines of grout in between. Someone with way too much time on their hands had written literally hundreds of limericks running both across and from top to bottom....and they were completely legible!!! Very tiny, precise, neat, printing with a very fine tip. The fact that no one ever cleaned it off in the years I was there was odd. I guess the janitorial staff was impressed too. I always thought they should put a sealer of some sort over it so that the guy who did it could come back years later and show his kids...."Here's what I did in college son." And just out of curiosity, how come you never hear about anyone being "bauched?" Spaw |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Margo Date: 16 Jul 00 - 11:31 AM The books that had me laughing with tears were James Hariot's books about his being a vet in the Yorkshire dales. Not every story did that, but the one about the society lady who had a frisky boxer dog that had terrible gas or the description of a special suit that a vet had Harriot don just to hand him a tool had me crying with laughter! Margo |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Helen Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:43 AM I was reading an Asterix the Gaul book in the dentist's waiting room and I was giggling at it, especially the names of the characters. A young guy, about 18, saw me laughing and picked up another Asterix book and started reading it. He just kept reading it, looking at me strangely, reading a bit more, looking at me etc. The expression on his face was "What's so funny, I can't see anything funny, why are you laughing?" Helen |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: sophocleese Date: 15 Jul 00 - 04:07 PM LTS, yes I have seen a white-eared elephant. I thought those books were meant to be read in private. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Jul 00 - 03:43 PM HA!!!!! Gervase, I've always wondered what you were doing in that lavatory - now I know. I've always been a bit dubious about a type of deep blue glass known as 'Bristol ware'. The original smash and grab...... Spike Milligan seems to do that to people, I was asked to leave a railway carriage because I was laughing so hard over a section of 'Hitler, my part in his downfall' where Spike is describing the antics of one 'Plunger' Bailey.... ever seen a white eared elephant? LTS
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: kendall Date: 15 Jul 00 - 02:23 PM My uncle Ned joined the Baptist church when he saw the sign out front that said..THE END IS NEAR. After he became a member, they asked him to sign a 5 year pledge. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Bill D Date: 15 Jul 00 - 01:39 PM On the bathroom wall at the Methodist Student Union at the Univ. of Kansas "Can a Metaphysican be sued for malpractice?" I giggled for days...and then there was THIS: I was reading the paper when I saw a little 'filler' article...I now quote it for you in it's entirety:
Elephant Goes Wild "An elephant hauling logs on the Nagampatam River in southern India suddenly went wild Saturday and trampled a man to death. Then it returned to its work" I read it, laughed for 20 minutes, cut it out, and DROVE around to friends houses showing it all afternoon. ummm...many of them did not see the point, but a few did. What?..You say YOU don't get it...*tsk* |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: sophocleese Date: 15 Jul 00 - 01:11 PM I remember a flight home from England when I was 15. I had a book of misprints and strange happenings and giggled my way across the Atlantic. Fellow passengers were a little disconcerted but didn't rip the book out of my hands. If you like laughing out loud you could try following the link I provided in the Foxy Song Challenge thread. I nearly wet myself laughing. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Morticia Date: 15 Jul 00 - 12:27 PM I always want to write " Does He?" under Armitage Shanks ( bait taken, Gervase:)Jeri, if you go back I've named the book and author, if you haven't read it you should, it's a howl. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Gervase Date: 15 Jul 00 - 11:54 AM I used to snort in public urinals - because on the cisterns of most of them was the ponderous ly scripted "Armitage Shanks". I vaguely knew an Armitage at school, and he was a po-faced disapproving soul at the best of times, so the thought of him secretly shanking, and having it proclaimed throughout every public bog in the land always made me outwardly smile. Awkward really, and it got me strange looks, but that risks thread creap to another topic entirely... |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Jeri Date: 15 Jul 00 - 11:35 AM What quote Moricia? Don't you hate it when someone's in the same room as you, giggling over something they're reading? Them, "guffaw, chortle." Me, "What?" Them. "Oh, just something I read." Me "What, dammit?!" If it's really good, they might as well just read the whole thing aloud.
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Morticia Date: 15 Jul 00 - 11:19 AM I'd love to know the context but am afraid that would spoil it........I do this all the time, used to be awful when I was a commuter, I was nearly put off the train many a monday morning.One of my favourite quotes is from Puckoon by Spike Milligan......." When she saw a sign saying Members Only, she thought of him".Still makes me giggle which shows exactly the sense of humour I'm blessed with. |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: Big Mick Date: 15 Jul 00 - 10:51 AM I am getting pretty damn sick and tired of you folks posting or sending things that make me blow all manner of liquid out through my nose. Could have the decency to warn a fella not to drink things when reading these things!!!!!!!!!!! Over the last few days I have had Wyo Woman send me something that caused me to decorate my sinus cavities with perfectly good Guinness. And this morning I am sitting here with coffee in my mouth and this pops up. Sledge, that one goes on my wall. I love it. Mick |
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Subject: RE: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: kendall Date: 15 Jul 00 - 10:43 AM just dont put too fine a point on the cross catharpings.. |
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Subject: LAUGH OUT LOUD From: sledge Date: 15 Jul 00 - 10:39 AM I tend to read a lot, being away from home a lot I find it relaxing. Sometimes I get odd looks from my Co-workers because I will read a line that just oozes humour, intentionaly or otherwise. I am currently going through the Patrick O'Brian nautical books and was struck by the line: YOU HAVE DEBAUCHED MY SLOTH SIR. It paints a winderful picture, and even now, a week later giggles abound. |
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