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Lyr Req: Nellie Cartwright (rugby song)

GUEST,Snuffy 25 Jul 00 - 09:27 AM
GUEST,Alex 24 Aug 08 - 02:59 PM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 25 Aug 08 - 06:18 AM
GUEST,The boys at RGS 14 Oct 12 - 08:11 AM
GUEST,999 14 Oct 12 - 08:21 AM
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Subject: Nellie Cartwright
From: GUEST,Snuffy
Date: 25 Jul 00 - 09:27 AM

Request from a fellow Morris dancer - it's a Rugby song from the '60s, a parody of "Redwing". All he can remember is the start of the chorus

Oh the moon shines tonight on Nellie Cartwright
She couldn't fart right
Her arse was airtight

Wassail! V


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nellie Cartwright
From: GUEST,Alex
Date: 24 Aug 08 - 02:59 PM

You can listen to an mp3 of this song at:
http://www.imeem.com/people/4CHowBH/music/kcU_5JId/the_evansville_transit_authority_nellie_cartwrightmp3/


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nellie Cartwright
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 25 Aug 08 - 06:18 AM

Some while back I tried to find the rest of "Nellie Cartwright," but was never able to find more than the first two lines of the chorus:

Oh the moon shines bright on Nellie Cartwright,
She couldn't fart right, her ass was airtight ...

The Evansville Transit Authority mp3 cited above seems to have the same problem. It fudges the rest of the chorus, and for verses uses variants of the standard bawdy parody of "Redwing" beginning:

There once was an Indian maid who always was afraid
That some buckaroo would shove it up her flue       etc.

I think there's a good chance that the "Nelly Cartwright" lines may never have been longer -- one of those really short musical jokes.

Out of frustration with searching, I finally gave up and wrote "the rest." I humbly offer it here to those (probably quite few) who've always wished "Nelly Cartwright" was a complete song.

**WARNING: X-RATED LANGUAGE AHEAD**

NELLY CARTWRIGHT

Traditional (first 2 lines of chorus), remainder of lyrics by Bob Coltman.
Tune: "Redwing."

A girl I once adored, although I never scored,
Her name was Nell, she kissed me very well,
Oh hell, I fell like a ton for pretty Nell,
But she could not pass air, the hole just wasn't there,
She swelled so big, yes, bigger than a pig,
She made the people stare.

Cho:
Oh, the moon shone down on Nelly Cartwright,
She couldn't fart right, her ass was airtight,
For her Maker hadn't made that part right,]
And she stayed sealed tight till the day she died.

And Nelly couldn't shit, no, not a single bit,
She tried and tried to pry her flier wide,
But everything just ground around inside,
And that is not the worst, it seemed that she was cursed,
For she swelled so large, unable to discharge,
At last poor Nellie burst.

Cho:


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nellie Cartwright
From: GUEST,The boys at RGS
Date: 14 Oct 12 - 08:11 AM

Oh there once was an Indian maid
Who said she wasn't afraid
To like on her back in a cold dark shack
And let the cowboys play (with her tooney)

And then to her surprise
Her belly began to rise
And out of her cunt came a four legged runt
With a dick between its' eyes.

Oh the moon shines bright on Nelly Cartwrite
She couldn't fart right
Her ass was air-tight
(Like a frog)

And venereal disease was really spreading
As she was bedding
Everyone in site.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Nellie Cartwright
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Oct 12 - 08:21 AM

http://www.rugbysongs.net/rugbysng.pdf

The lyrics to the song Nelly Cartwright are at song # 076 of that link. It's a PDF file and I cannot copy it to here.


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