Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Sort Descending - Printer Friendly - Home


Lyr Add: Jesus Loves Me (But He Can't Stand You)

DigiTrad:
JESUS LOVES ME


Related thread:
Lyr Req: Jesus Loves Me (25)


celticblues5 22 Aug 00 - 02:14 AM
Gary T 22 Aug 00 - 07:48 AM
ol'troll 22 Aug 00 - 07:53 AM
JedMarum 22 Aug 00 - 08:13 AM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 09:14 AM
katlaughing 22 Aug 00 - 09:37 AM
Kim C 22 Aug 00 - 10:03 AM
MMario 22 Aug 00 - 10:06 AM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 00 - 11:12 AM
GUEST,Mickey191 22 Aug 00 - 11:28 AM
GUEST,Mickey191 22 Aug 00 - 11:32 AM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 00 - 12:20 PM
Jed at Work 22 Aug 00 - 12:21 PM
DougR 22 Aug 00 - 12:38 PM
Skivee 22 Aug 00 - 12:48 PM
MMario 22 Aug 00 - 12:55 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 01:04 PM
The Shambles 22 Aug 00 - 01:05 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 01:07 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM
JedMarum 22 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM
MMario 22 Aug 00 - 01:21 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 01:26 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 01:27 PM
Gary T 22 Aug 00 - 02:27 PM
Liz the Squeak 22 Aug 00 - 02:47 PM
Morticia 22 Aug 00 - 03:00 PM
SINSULL 22 Aug 00 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 22 Aug 00 - 03:46 PM
Irish sergeant 22 Aug 00 - 06:16 PM
Skivee 22 Aug 00 - 06:45 PM
Brendy 22 Aug 00 - 07:00 PM
Bud Savoie 22 Aug 00 - 07:30 PM
Bill D 22 Aug 00 - 07:35 PM
celticblues5 23 Aug 00 - 01:14 AM
Joe Offer 23 Aug 00 - 04:42 AM
Lena 23 Aug 00 - 05:32 AM
Pene Azul 23 Aug 00 - 08:46 AM
catspaw49 23 Aug 00 - 08:54 AM
Pene Azul 23 Aug 00 - 09:06 AM
CamiSu 23 Aug 00 - 09:15 AM
CamiSu 23 Aug 00 - 09:17 AM
Liz the Squeak 23 Aug 00 - 11:21 AM
Whistle Stop 23 Aug 00 - 12:13 PM
Little Hawk 23 Aug 00 - 12:23 PM
Biskit 23 Aug 00 - 12:58 PM
Irish sergeant 24 Aug 00 - 11:24 AM
Mbo 24 Aug 00 - 11:38 AM
Mbo 24 Aug 00 - 11:43 AM
Bert 24 Aug 00 - 11:49 AM
paddymac 24 Aug 00 - 12:03 PM
Willie-O 24 Aug 00 - 02:04 PM
Mbo 24 Aug 00 - 02:08 PM
Little Hawk 24 Aug 00 - 04:04 PM
Joe Offer 24 Aug 00 - 05:26 PM
CamiSu 25 Aug 00 - 01:17 AM
hesperis 25 Aug 00 - 01:20 AM
bseed(charleskratz) 25 Aug 00 - 03:40 AM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:









Subject: Lyr Add: JESUS LOVES ME (BUT HE CAN'T STAND YOU)
From: celticblues5
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 02:14 AM

I mentioned this song in another thread, and someone asked for the complete lyrics. This is by the Austin Lounge Lizards. The verses are pretty much just spoken, and the choruses are sung - if anyone has the chords for the chorus or the music for the underlying melody of the spoken parts, I'd appreciate that being posted.


(spoken:)I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew
I just can't abide a sinner like you
You know, God can't either, that's why I know it to be true
That Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you

I'm goin' straight to heaven, boys, when I die
'Cause I've crossed every T and I've dotted every I
Why, my preacher tells me that I'm God's kind of guy
That's why Jesus loves me.....but you're gonna fry

(cho) - God loves all His children, by gum
That don't mean He won't incinerate some
Can't you feel those hot flames lickin' you?
Woo-ooo-ooo-oo

(spoken) - I'm raisin' my kids in a righteous way
So don't you be bringin' your kids over to my house to play
Why, yours will grow up stoned, left-leaning, and gay
I know - Jesus told me on the phone today

(cho) - Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you're gonna go
There's lots of room for your kind - down below
Wo-wo-wo-o

(spoken, with "Jesus loves me but he can't stand you" by chorus under) -
Jesus loves me, he loves me real good
I know he does because he called me up on the phone today and told me how much he loves me
He said, "Son, I loooooove you"
He speaks English pretty well, considering it's a second language for him
You can talk to him too, you know, I've got a 900-number in Tulsa that you can call him at - I do it all the time
He'll be glad to hear from you, I talk to him every day

(together, lead & chorus, half-spoken, half-sung) - Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Gary T
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 07:48 AM

I love it! I'll have to look for a recording of this.

Reminds me of a favorite bumper sticker--"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an a**hole".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: ol'troll
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 07:53 AM

Stand by for heavy rolls.

troll


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: JedMarum
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 08:13 AM

great stuff, good humor!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 09:14 AM

this is brilliant....what a hoot, thanks!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 09:37 AM

Excellent, thanks!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Kim C
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 10:03 AM

Ha! It's like one of my fave Lyle Lovett songs:

God will, but I won't
God does but I don't
And that's the difference between God and me

(or did I get it backwards? Dang, I never can remember....)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 10:06 AM

This is one of those pieces that strikes me both ways. it IS funny - unless you know people who think this way, and unfortunately, I do. I know people who could sing this and mean every single lyric. THAT is not only NOT funny, but sick-making.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:12 AM

There's another bumper sticker that reads "Lord Jesus, protect me from your followers!"

I like that one.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: GUEST,Mickey191
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:28 AM

Little Hawk, With that bumper sticker - how long before the car gets trashed? Just wondering. Great song.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: GUEST,Mickey191
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:32 AM

Little Hawk, With that bumper sticker-wonder how long before the car gets trashed? Great song.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 12:20 PM

Yeah, I wouldn't have the bad judgement to put any such bumper sticker on my car, you can bet on that!

Here's the first verse from a song I wrote:

"Jesus was not a Christian, he didn't make war on the Moors, he didn't raise up big cathedrals on the back of starving poor, he didn't rewrite ancient holy books, then use them to enslave, he didn't burn old women at the stake and put healers in the grave."

It gets even more pointed after that.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Jed at Work
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 12:21 PM

I saw a bumper sticker once that said "God is my Co-pilot" I saw it first on a car that turn left across a busy road in front of me, narrowly missing a car coming the other way, and causing me to jack up on my brakes toa void hitting him. All I could think was that the drive must not have been paying attention to his co-pilot!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: DougR
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 12:38 PM

celticblues5: Funny song, but get ready to duck!

DougR


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Skivee
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 12:48 PM

I was recently pointed toward this site: www.yourgoingtohell.com Yup, that's "your",... not "you're". It appears that the ALL laws of grammer and spelling may be broken, as long as you keep All the laws of God. Could one of God's children show me how reach blue clicky enlightenment?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 12:55 PM

Skiv - have Kat or Peg!(tm) read you the appropriate section of the MudCat FAQ - found here

url=http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=19340&messages=97#196946


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:04 PM

Skivee, I'm not one of anyone's children but I need the practise in doing blue clickies so here goes. click here Oh my, this is one scary site......not to be followed up by those of a nervous disposition.....although the little devil reminds me of someone.....can't think who right now.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: The Shambles
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:05 PM

I like the song, especially the line about his second language. Set me of thinking of some more like……..

Jesus loves me, but I think we maybe 'kind of' rushing things.

Jesus loves me, but he didn't take his sandals off………

I would like to think that the son of god must have had a great sense of humour?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:07 PM

try again click here


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM

told you I needed practise........bugger.....anyone see where I cocked up please?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: JedMarum
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:09 PM

yes, Shambles ... I believe he would/does ... have a great sense of humor!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:21 PM

Mort - as far as I can tell, you left out the "a" in your first try - the second time the only thing I saw wrong was that you had a space before the a.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:26 PM

just ran over and had a quick practise on the appropriate thread ......lets try one more time.....click here


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 01:27 PM

phew.........got the little sucker that time....thanks MMario :)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Gary T
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 02:27 PM

Glad you got it, Mortie. Was it the lack of quotation marks that kept the second one from working? (I'm still learning.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 02:47 PM

Here's a little something on the subject that I was sent - as the pet Christian, my pagan friends are trying to subvert me..... they may just have suceeded with this one...!

For those of you that are not following the recent controversy that has to do with Laura Schlessinger: she is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Paramount Television Group is currently producing a "Dr. Laura" television show.
Recently she has become a convert to Judaism, and now she is Ba'al T'shuvah and has made some statements about homosexuals that has caused the Canadian anti-hate laws to censure her. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on the internet. ENJOY!

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread. (cotton/polyester blend) He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

LTS ducking and running for cover.....

Mucked with the formatting - Bert


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Morticia
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 03:00 PM

Gary, I think it was the space between the < and the a that did it.......but look guys, seriously, I didn't get a proper look at that site before I dashed back here to be 'helpful'.....I thought it was some sort of joke.....looking again I found the worst kind of pernicious, bigoted crap it has ever been my misfortune to read.....I am really sorry if anyone is offended by it, I know I was.I would rather have helped direct you to a porn site than this one....anyone wishing to give me grief over this, please feel free to do so,you can't call me anything I haven't called myself.....I'm sorry.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 03:22 PM

You are forgiven by me, Morticia. Don't count on forgiveness from the creator of that website. To get back to the topic at hand:


The original post reminded me of a country and western tune which I always found amusing.
"God may forgive you, but I won't
Yes Jesus loves you but I don't
I don't even try"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 03:46 PM

Great contribution, Liz. I have printed a copy for posterity. It should come in handy when deciding who to stone, smite, etc. :-)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 06:16 PM

Having just commented on a thread about Armenia. Let me throw my hat into the ring. The song is funny unfortunately, there are people who believe ther bible should be interperated literally including all the old testament punishments. There are some scary wackoes out there and I advise caution when bandying lyrics about. the psychotic joinming in the laughter may be packing a weapon Take good care, Kindest reguards, Neil


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Skivee
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 06:45 PM

My regrets to Morticia and anyone else distressed by the "Yourgoingtohell"site. In posting the site I only meant to expose bigotry that amused because of it's vast, poorly spelled, and self-absorbed hyperbole. It seemed to me to go with the song that we were discussing. The creator of the site takes it very seriously. Most of us see it for what it is. Perhaps it would have been better if I had warned of the mean spirited nature of the site. MMario, Kat dyd help me spel thiss. X... his mark


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Brendy
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 07:00 PM

Neil.

That is one of the truest, and most insightful posts I have seen in a long time.
Nice one.

B.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Bud Savoie
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 07:30 PM

I thought that site was a riot. I've bookmarked it, so I can go back to it whenever I'm feeling low.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 07:35 PM

missed the beginning of this thread, but the title reminds me of "I Can See Your Aura, and it's Ugly"

(You know, I think that Leviticus feller would have been a blast to live near...)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: celticblues5
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:14 AM

Liz - thanks so much! A terrific set of musings!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: Jesus May Love You, But I Don't
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:42 AM

Iris Dement did a song that went someting like this:
God may forgive you, but I won't
Jesus may love you, but I don't...
Anybody have the whole song? I thought we had it here, but I can't find it - search engine is screwy.
-Joe Offer-


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Lena
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 05:32 AM

It almost kneeled me down!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Pene Azul
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:46 AM

Joe, here it is, as posted by Joe Offer in '97.

PA


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:54 AM

Not only should that be embarassing to Father Joebro, but I also gave him the Iris DeMent Lyrics site for his FAQ!!!

Uh, Joe..........Are you in love or something?

Spaw


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Pene Azul
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:06 AM

Yeah Spaw, that'll screw up the ol' search engine :^)

PA


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: CamiSu
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:15 AM

I first heard the Austin Lounge Lizards do this at a small theater in White River Junction and thought I might die laughing. Unfortunately, there are LOTS of people who think that way! I think Jesus would (or maybe does?) find this as funny as we do, remember the people he had the worst things to say about, were the "scribes and pharisees, the hypocrites". (sorry, I haven't paid my syntax lately...)

BTW I say this as a VERY committed Christian who tries to do it the way Jesus did, is aware that (nearly) all religions have some truth, and that there are people out there who profess no religion who do a whole lot better at this life bit than I do! I don't forget to laugh at myself, either. Maybe that's why my youngest's Sunday School teacher doesn't quite approve of our family (though we don't quite approve of her either...)

Liz, thanks SO MUCH for that letter to Dr. Laura! She's one I've had a hard time doing anything other yelling about. But early Sluggy Freelance had a character based not too loosely on her, Dr Lorna. if you want, check out Sluggy (click)

Mbo, of course there are people who mean it, and anger and fear just feed them, but laughter is a great weapon!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: CamiSu
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 09:17 AM

Cool! got it on the first try! Thanks Morticia!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:21 AM

Well thanks, but I'm just passing on some of the tosh that comes my way via the wierd friends I have.... my sister insists on sending me the most trite and pathetic allegedly "religous" crap that would make the pope barf, and it was great to get a bit for the other side!

LTS


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:13 PM

Liz, that's priceless -- I don't think I've ever seen anything that expresses this point so forcefully.

Irish sergeant, I understand what you're saying, and agree that a lot of what's in the Old Testament was written with a liberal application of poetic license. But the truth is that those Old Testament laws cited above WERE intended to be taken literally. I think it's funny how so many modern-day folks express their belief in "the Bible" generally, but conveniently overlook the particulars. Somehow a lot of people find it too painful to say that they subscribe to part of what's in there, but not all of it. Why is that so hard?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:23 PM

Exactly. I subscribe to part of it, but not all of it, and that's the way it is with everything in life, I find.

Dictatorships, however, whether they be political or religious or emotional in nature will generally demand that you subscribe to ALL of it. And they'll make life hell for you if you don't.

A good thing that our thought dreams can't be seen.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Biskit
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:58 PM

Leave it to my little Buddy LtS that was really great Liz thanks. That web site was HORRID though,the music alone was enough to scare you away from reading any further-Biskit-


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:24 AM

Whistle Stop: That was my point. There are those who want us to burn all homosexuals and stone those who committ adultry. Our history is replete with people who preach and practice being children of a vengeful Old Testament God but ignore the teachings of his son. A song once lamented "We love the Baby but we crucified the man" Remember that Christ himself spoke in parables. I think his message boils down to the Golden rule. (Not the one that states he who has the gold makes the rules) The messaage of the Bible is supposed to be one of hope and love not a game plan for turning a nation into a theocratic dictatorship. Enough of a rant for one day. Kindest reguards, Neil


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:38 AM

My priest says that none of the stuff in the OT is to be takes too literally. Father Tom has worked in San Francisco for many years, working with the homeless, alcoholics, drug addicts, gay & lesbians, and others that our society looks down on. He worked to show that (at least for people in a Christian context) that the stuff religious radicals spout from the Bible is not all to be accepted, that (once again, withig a Christian context, here) that God loves them, and it doesn't matter what some ancient scholar wrote. His friend in Pittsburg has rejected his own son because he is gay, and he believes SO much in the literal meaning of the Bible, he is unwilling to see how blind he is. Father Tom is trying to get him to see that he is WRONG and like the song says "It ain't neccesarily so." He said "Yeah, the Bible also says that you should charge people for taxes. Do we do that too?" The Bible is a great piece of literate, some of the content is outdated, so it can't be taken too literally. Other Biblical messages...well, it's hard NOT to believe them, like love and compassion and helping on another.

--Matt


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:43 AM

Heh heh...that should be "that you SHOULDN'T charge people for taxes."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Bert
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 11:49 AM

As a Non-Christian, I've gotta say I agree with you Mbo.
- love and compassion and helping one another. - I'll go for that.

Bert.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: paddymac
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 12:03 PM

LittleHawk - I, for one, would love to see "the rest" of your creative product. If that's just "the opener", it's gotta be, uh, insightful and informative. (:>) I really would like to see it. If you'd rather not post it here, I'd by happy to get via my personal page. Thanks.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 02:04 PM

For more highly scientific analysis of Dr Laura, start with The Dr Laura Drinking Game and check out the links at the bottom...

The popularity of people like Dr Laura, Fred Phelps et al has me feeling sympathy for those who have a personal faith, but don't use it as a way of beating other folks over the head. As expressed in thoughtful posts here by a number of Mudcat Christians.

Willie-O
us atheists can't go to hell, sorry


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 02:08 PM

Fact is Willy, you cannot be "sent" to Hell. Hell is something personal one makes by themselves.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 04:04 PM

Right on, Mbo. The atheist, like the religious man, makes his own hell...or his own heaven. In the latter case, it's a place with open doors.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: ADD: It Ain't Necessarily So
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Aug 00 - 05:26 PM

I think this one oughta be posted here. Thanks for bringing it up, Mbo.
-Joe Offer-

It ain't necessarily so (Gershwin)

Sportin' Life:
It ain't necessarily so,

All:
It ain't necessarily so.

Sportin' Life:
De t'ings dat yo li'ble
To read in de Bible -
It ain't necessarily so.

Li'l' David was small, but oh my!

All:
Li'l' David was small, but oh my!

Sportin' Life:
He fought Big Goliath
Who lay down and dieth -
Li'l' David was small, but oh my!
Wadoo!

Ensemble:
Wadoo!

Sportin' Life:
Zim bam boddle-oo!

Ensemble:
Zim bam boddle-oo!

Sportin' Life:
Hoodle ah da waah da!

Ensemble:
Hoodle ah da waah da!

Sportin' Life:
Scatty way!

Ensemble:
Scatty wah!

Sportin' Life:
Yeah!
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale

All:
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale.

Sportin' Life:
Fo' he made his home in
Dat fish's abdomen -
Oh Jonah, he lived in de whale.

L'il' Moses was found in a stream

All:
L'il' Moses was found in a stream

Sportin' Life:
He floated on water
'Till Ole' Pharaoh's daughter
She fished him, she says from dat stream.

Wadoo!

Ensemble:
Wadoo!

Sportin' Life:
Zim bam boddle-oo!

Ensemble:
Zim bam boddle-oo!

Sportin' Life:
Hoodle ah da waah da!

Ensemble:
Hoodle ah da waah da!

Sportin' Life:
Scatty way!

Ensemble:
Scatty wah!

Sportin' Life:
Yeah!
It ain't necessarily so

All:
It ain't necessarily so

Sportin' Life:
Dey tell all you chillun
De Debble's a villun
But 'tain't necessarily so.

To get into Hebbben
Don't snap fo' a sebben -
Live clean! Don' have no fault!
Oh, I takes dat gospel
Whenever it's pos'ple -
But wid a grain of salt!

Methus'lah lived nine hundred years,

All:
Methus'lah lived nine hundred years,

Sportin' Life:
But who calls dat livin'
When no gal'll give in
To no man what's nine hundred years?

I'm preachin' dis sermon to show
It ain't nessa, ain't nessa,
Ain't nessa, ain't nessa -

All:
It ain't necessarily so!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: CamiSu
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 01:17 AM

Yeah, and the ones who want to ban homosexuality usually don't seem to mind eating pork! Yet that's forbidden as well.

I kind of like the rules Jesus put forth. Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, AND (he says elsewhere that this is more of a test) Love your neighbor as yourself. I don't recall him saying who your neighbor wasn't! and he chose as an example, one whom the Jews were not on the best of terms with (Samaritans).

I guess I feel sorry for those poor sods who would sing this song and mean it. All those neat people they have to hate!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: Jesus Loves Me But He Can't Stand You
From: hesperis
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 01:20 AM

Joe - I love that song!!!
(To everybody who's asked for Little Hawk to post the full lyrics to his song - Nyah, nyah! I've heard it!
LH - That is one fantastic song!)

My stepdad is a serious Christian who loves discussing theology but doesn't attend church. When we first moved to Orillia we had ONE visit from missionaries, I think they were Jehovah's Witnesses, hard to keep all the different ones straight.
He invited them in to tea, and tried to discuss the bible with them.
They left in a real hurry, and we haven't had any other visits from them since, or from any of the other churches either.

Whenever anyone quotes something at me to justify something I think is wrong, I just quote something that Christ himself said. They usually don't recognize my quote, either. Most of the annoying "Christians" don't even quote Christ, they quote Paul, or the Old Testament! What is with that?

I'm not even a Christian, and I know more of his words than some so-called Christians.
Grah!

hesperis
Fave bible quote number 3: "The Truth shall set you free."
Number 2: "Forbad him not, for he that is not against us is on our part."
Number 1: "I have set before thee life and death, therefore choose life."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: Lyr Add: OPEN UP THEM PEARLY GATES^^
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 25 Aug 00 - 03:40 AM

Interesting that the Lounge Lizards hail from and perform in that hotbed of liberalism, Texas. I don't know if they need bodyguards or not.

Here's a song Doc Watson sings (he also sings many serious spirituals, of course).

"Open Up Them Pearly Gates"

Come on all you sinners,
If you wanna go to heaven (heaven)
You better get right down on your knees and pray.
All you gamblin' sinners,
You better stop shoutin' that "seven, eleven!"
Or you won't be ready when you get to judgement day.

(chorus)
Open up them pearly gates,
Open up them pearly gates,
Open up them pearly gates for me.
When you hear that trumpet blast,
I'll be comin' home at last.
Open up them pearly gates for me.

I done had a vision,
I seen them pearly gates a-closin,
And I seen you sinners all outside.
You better make your decision,
You better hope that you'll be chosen (chosen),
It'll be too late when you've laid down and died.

You better go out to your chicken pen
And ask yourself an honest question,
And the good Lord, He's gonna know it if you lie.
You better turn all them chickens loose,
Or you're gonna die of indigestion,
If you eat that stolen chicken pie.

You better take that old keg of gin
And pour it all right in the river,
And you'd better not let old Satan stay your hand.
'Cause if you fill it up again,
It's gonna eat a hole right in your liver,
And the gate won't open when you get to the promised land.

--seed


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
  Share Thread:
More...

Reply to Thread
Subject:  Help
From:
Preview   Automatic Linebreaks   Make a link ("blue clicky")


Mudcat time: 20 February 12:09 AM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.