Worst pop song ever!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 08:30 PM

Actually, I'm not IN Schenectady...I just like using the name sometimes cos it's so weird. I'm in Orillia, Ontario.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 08:38 PM

Thread creep. Oh well, Little Hawk (I thought you were in Canada) Now you can use "Alplaus" - means "eel place." Kurt Vonnegut Jr (who?) used to live on my street, but moved shortly after I was born. Hope it wasn't me...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: hesperis
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 09:30 PM

"He's so fine" is a really horrible song that I used to love. Then I discovered the lyrics. Ugh! The rhymes are amateurish, and the third verse really hasn't a clue. I still like singing the "do-lang do-lang-do-lang" part though.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 10:03 PM

My Dingaling by Chuck Berry was one of the worst songs ever written AND his biggest hit! Consider....Maybelline,Johnny B Goode,Hail Rock n Roll,Oh Carol,none of these even approached the success of My Dingaling. What does this say about public taste?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Lucius
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 10:32 PM

Put silver wings on my son's chest. Sgt. Barry Saddler's Battle Hymn of the Green Beret is worse than Dominique by the Singing Nun, and both are worse than Honey (did someone already enter Little Green Apples?)

Lucius

Subject: Lyr Add: TIMOTHY
From: Pseudolus
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 10:34 PM

Jeri, Here's Timothy. You know what? It definitely belongs on this list!

Trapped in a mine that had caved in
And everyone knows the only ones left
Were Joe and me and Tim

When they broke through to pull us free
The only ones left to tell the tale
Were Joe and me

CHORUS 1: Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know?

Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat
Water enough to drink for two
And Joe said to me, "I'll have a swig
And then there's some for you."

CHORUS 2: Timothy, Timothy, Joe was looking at you
Timothy, Timothy, God what did we do?

I must have blacked out just around then
'Cause the very next thing that I could see
Was the light of the day again
My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy

CHORUS 1: Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know?

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: rabbitrunning
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:00 PM

Yup, Mbo, it was C. W. McCall, but my brain wasn't in gear. (since I was at work.)

How about "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" for pop songs that really should have never managed to get air time. If memory serves me, the music included someone bending back and forth a piece of tile to get the woop woop noises.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:14 PM

I love Tie Me Kangaroo Down! Tan me hide when I've died, Clyde...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Lighthouse
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:28 PM

"96 Tears", "Wham Bam Shang A Lang", anything by the Bay City Rollers, "Chain Gang", "Eve of Destruction", "Under My Thumb" and that stupid "Bird is the Word"!!!!! This could go on FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:34 PM

Let me be the first to second Sinsull's nomination of "Feelings" as the all-time number one puke-a-thon, and I would like to add "I Did it My Way" as a contender. Give me a good old cannibal song any day.

Is it too late to add a sub-catagory for WORST BEATLES SONG ? My pick would be Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

(Totally off topic -- new Beatles parody: We All Died in a Russian Submarine, a Russian submarine ... )

WORST ELVIS SONG, a toss-up between Return to Sender, and Viva Las Vegas.

=== Johnny in Oklahoma City

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jeri
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:37 PM

Pseudolus, thanks. Thanks a lot. I really mean it. (I still think there would be bones or eyeballs or something left over, and if Tim were an average sized human, they would have had to each eat about 90 pounds. A mule would be even more.)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: sheba
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:44 PM

"My Way", yuck!...isn't there a line, "I chewed it up and spit it out." (Somehow there is a tie in to Timothy here). How could Frank Sinatra sing that line?

Another one: a song from a 45 that my pubescent neighbor used to play,"D.O.A" ("Dead On Arrival," I was told). Sound of an ambulance,a lethargic male voice, and dread, is all I remember.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Aug 00 - 11:48 PM

I like "My Way"...

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: The Lighthouse
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:24 AM

Russian Submarine parody???? Not funny at all!!!!!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Airto
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:57 AM

Lonesome EJ,

I was going to say exactly the same thing as you about My Ding A Ling. I can't stand it, especially coming as it does from one of the greats.

Gilbert O'Sullivan has a lot to answer for as well. Of his many contenders I would nominate Claire.

But for sheer sliminess I think the Julio Iglesias nomination above (For All the Girls I've Loved Before) gets my vote.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 07:18 AM

Anything by the godawful Beautiful South. And Cherry Pie by Warrant (also contender for the so-cheesey-it's-stilton) video awards.
Oh, and that song that goes "No milk today, my love has gone away". Terrible.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 07:25 AM

aga bloody doo

the birdie song

and oops up side yur head

and so on

(any songs that require drunk people to do actions to)

arghhhh twitch twitch

Worst folk song...

Whisky in the jar - our band are sick SICK SICK I SAY

of being asked to sing it.

oh okay, the really worst song is I'll neer marry (or something like that - the old maid song)

or and are you going to Scarborough fair... noooooooooooo!

Ella

Don't mind me I am having a bad week at work

twitch twitch

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 07:54 AM

Oh, "American Pie," "Horse With No Name" (aaaaaaahhhhhhh!), "MacArthur Park," and "Ballad of the Green Berets." And add to it "Eve of Destruction" which was closely followed by an "answer" song, "Dawn of Correction," also hideous.

Guess you can tell when my pre-listening mostly to trad days were.

Bat Goddess

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: P05139
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:12 AM

GUEST, emily b, "Mickey" was covered by Lolly last year and it got to Number 4 in the UK charts.

Mind you, if you want rubbish pop songs, what about Vanilla's "No Way, No Way". The chorus went somethinglike this: "No way, no way/ mnuh mnah/ Not today/ Don't get fresh with me!"

They are now looking for another record deal! No surprise there!

Daphne and Celeste songs are rubbish too. I mean "Ooh stick you/ Your mamma too/ And your daddy!" Or " U.G.L.Y. you ain't got no alibi/ You ugly/ Hey hey you ugly!"

PLEASE send them down the dumper and bring back brilliant bands like North And South!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: LR Mole
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:17 AM

Neurons that fired instead of something I could have used up there :D.O.A was, appropriately enough, done by Bloodrock."No Milk Today" was from the fade of Herman's Hermits, and equated milk delivery with continued fidelity, I think, unless I'm missing something. "Dawn of Correction" was done by The Spokesmen, presumably to chastise all us malcontents. But my personal nomination goes to Nervous Norvous for "Transfusion": "Transfusion, transfusion, just gonna make a new resolution: never never never gonna speed again; pump the blood in me, bud." (Later: "Shoot the juice to me, Bruce.") Take that, Mr. Bogle.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:28 AM

Pedant here - Adge was late and lamented when the Wurzels recorded the Combine Harvester. All Adge's work was original or traditional - Combine Harvester was a parody.

How about some of the Goodies "hits" - 'the Inbetweenies', was one (yes, OK I have it somewhere....) but 'Father Christmas do not touch me' should have been buried at a crossroads with a stake through it.....

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:31 AM

And I don't CARE how long you've been living next door to f**king Alice.....

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:37 AM

Maybe we should approach Ktel and see if we can get them to release a boxed set including all of the above tunes. Walmart could sell it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:39 AM

Knowing our luck it would be a best seller and we'd never be rid of the bloody tunes!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Shanti
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 11:55 AM

Agree wholeheartedly with Havin' My Baby and Feelings. And I'd like to add Sh-Boom (from the 50s) by, I think it was the Crewcuts, Stand By Your Man, and that awful song by, I don't even remember who, about loving two men at the same time. What WAS the name of that thing?! That's how awful I thought it was, can't even remember who sang it or the title. Feelings must rank up there with the most OVERDONE song in the world too. Oh, and here's another one...Strangers in the Night (doo-bee-doo-bee-doo). Heard a DJ after playing that song say, "Even Sinatra can't get away with doo-bee-doo-bee-doo!"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Rana who SHOULD be working
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:24 PM

LtS,

I stand corrected - the combine harvester came out in 1976, 2 years after Adge's untimely death - so pedant away.

Rana

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Pseudolus
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:50 PM

I hate to admit it, but I like American Pie....there, I said it!! And if I did it as a Guest, I would call myself Gutless with occasional bad taste. There ya go....at least I'm not gutless....

Also, as a confirmed Parrothead, I can put up with Margaritaville sung by the right singer.....sheesh, kinda like "True Confessions" isn't it!!!

And when I was four....oh nevermind....enough for now!

Frank

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Mbo
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:52 PM

Aww...c'mon...I like "Horse With No Name." Silly lyrics, yeah, but it's still cool. I only discovered America (the band) less than a year ago.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST, Banjo Johnny
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 12:59 PM

Let's add "Afternoon Delight" == Johnny in OKC

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:13 PM

After the Loving.

Shannon (about that dog who drifted out ot sea)

There's Got To Be A Morning After.

Guns And Roses cover of Knockin' on Heavens Door.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Tiger
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:13 PM

"Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'round the Old Oak Tree"

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Tiger
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:18 PM

"Lady in Red"

"Cherish"

"Precious and Few"

"Up, Up and Away in my Beautiful Balloon"

"Muskrat Love"

(Anything by Fifth Dimension)

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: coriander
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:29 PM

I vaguely remember a dreadful one from the late 80s which went "Gonna write a classic, gonna write it in an attic....", or maybe it was a bad dream! Can't remember who did it though.

cori

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,guinnesschik
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 01:42 PM

I've got to add my two cents. I think "Teen Angel" is the most deplorable song I have EVER heard.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: DougR
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 02:02 PM

Shanti: Are you thinking of "Torn Between Two Lovers?" Feeeeeeeeeliiiiiiings gets my vote for the very worst but a lot of good bad ones have been listed. DougR

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 02:08 PM

JAYSUS KEERICED!!!!

I take the kid to the doctor and I find this!!!! MacArthur Park is right up there.......Who the hell would leave a cake out in the rain and then sing about it???.........And Leej, I agree and did you know that My Dingaling was a Side B throwaway? Unbelieveable.

BUT.....I can't believe this thread has come this far and I can find no mention (maybe I missed it) of the worst, most sappy, stomach turning, cookie tossing, piece of tripe ever to spin on a turntable.............

HONEY

Is there actually anything worse than this? My Dingaling sounds positively brilliant by comparison and I'm ready to go eat soggy-ass cake to avoid hearing it!!!!!! I have some nice alternate words, but.......It should have come with a warning label..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 03:30 PM

Where are the links?

Hey, why don't you guys provide some links to the songs you have nominated? I did - see above. Several of the songs mentioned here are unfamiliar to me. How am I supposed to judge which is worst? People seem to be having fun with this thread. Think how much more fun it can be to read the actual words, especially when someone has taken the trouble to build a virtual shrine to a song, as they did for "Abraham, Martin, and John."

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Bert
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 03:40 PM

Sorry here's the lyrics to Downtown but it's that awful melody that screws it up.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Max
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 03:42 PM

I'm Too Sexy... For The Mudcat.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Diva
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:00 PM

Shuddupa your face Joe Dolce. I have a notion that the worst records compilation has been done and recently.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:01 PM

That awful one by the Bells. I think it was called "I think I'm going to stay with you awhile"

The chorus was: "how he makes me quiver, how he makes me smile, with al the love I have to give him, I guess I'm gonna stay with him awhile" Yuch.

My kids are Britney Spears fans, they played me her cover of the Rolling Stones classic 'Satisfaction' the other day. Bloody Awful!!!

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Krause
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:05 PM

My nomination has to be for McArthur Park. I nominate this one for its mixed metaphors, bad metaphors
Some one left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took too long to bake it
And I'll never have the receipe again
Oh no
OH YUCK! Soddy

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Morticia
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 04:15 PM

Hang on......hasn't anyone nominated 'Leader of the Pack' yet??? Come on guys, you're just not trying! I met him in a candy store You get the picture? Yes, we see That's when I fell for the leader of the pack (Blurp)I hope someone is going to supply bisodol with this thread, my stomach hurts.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 05:02 PM

Oh! Oh! You are so, so cruel. How can you badmouth a work of genius like McArthur Park? No song (except possibly "Gates Of Eden"...) has reached such levels of metaphorical magnificence as McArthur Park. And in so few words.

It's not about a cake, you Philistines! It's about a relationship. A really deep one. You know, like when the limousine driver in Spinal Tap is talking about Sinatra...("When you've loved and lost like Frank has...") That kind of deep. The kind that gets a guy to write a song like "My Way". Ouch.

"I don't think that I can take it
Cos it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Ohhhh, NOOOOO...."

What could be deeper and more metaphorical than that?

Lest I lose the spirit of this thread, I wish to contribute another truly annoying song that just won't go away! Murray McLauglin's "The Farmer Song". "Straw hat and dirty old..."

He should be keelhauled for recording that one.

'Nuff said.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Krause
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 05:13 PM

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! :-{}

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:01 PM

Another nomination! And a "shrine" web site to go with it!

It's "Three Bells", a hit by "The Browns" in 1959.

(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
All the chapel bells were ringing
In the little valley town
And the song that they were singing
Was for baby Jimmy Brown …

By the way, one of the web sites I found indicated that the original version was in French, and had been sung by Edith Piaf. Nana Mouskouri also recorded it.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Merlin
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:11 PM

How about the theam to Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On"? That song sucked! Actually, a friend of mine did a funny parody by changing the h in heart to f, and removing the e, but never mind.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: GUEST,Blackjack
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 06:49 PM

From a musical perspective, probably the worst ,most grating pop tune ever for me is that gawdawful "We Built this City on Rock and Roll" by Jefferson Starship. It sounds like they got up one morning and had a meeting with the record company execs and decided that they were writing a tribute to rock by noon no matter what. While on a break, one of them passed a tv and subconsciously picked up the riff to a breakfast cereal advertisement for children. Because they were all so uninspired that morning, this spot (played on a seemingly endless loop) ended up being their song.

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:00 PM

We used to sing 'now the chapel lead is missing....'.. it went on into a whole verse, but how about Grocer Jack then? That was nauseating = a song about an old guy having a heart attack and all the villagers moaning because they couldn't get their tea or butter!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Worst pop song ever!
From: Shanti
Date: 23 Aug 00 - 08:39 PM

Yes! DougR...that's the name of the song! Always hated it...from the first time I heard it. Almost as much as I hated Havin' My Baby! YUCH!!!!!