ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt

Subject: "Scotsman" additional lyrics wanted!
From:
Date: 22 May 97 - 01:04 AM

I would like the final lyrics ("gruesome/grew some") to the Scotsman. Please E-Mail. Thank you. Richard [e-mail]

Subject: RE:
From:
Date: 22 May 97 - 12:27 PM

1) The DT has Mike Cross? as the author of the scotsman. The book "New Folk Favorites" says that Mike is indeed the author and had 6 CD's out by 1987.

2) Did Mike actually write some expurgated lyrics? or is someone actually adding lyrics to Mike's song. (Guess that makes it a REAL folk song.)

Frank Phillips (that enough identification?)

Subject: RE:
From: Bo
Date: 22 May 97 - 03:44 PM

These are the added last verses as I've discovered them. Be careful with using them as, I for one, just don't think they're very good. The song is much better without them (IMHO)

Alt. last verses for Scotsman
(Last 2 verses by Rich Bailey)

Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, continued up the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more, when a lass he chanced to meet.
She said: "I've heard what's under there, tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass, if y' really want to know!"

So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise,
The Scotsman smiled, and a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar:
"If you stick yer hand up once again, you'll find it grew some more!"

Subject: Lyr Add: THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT (Mike Cross)
From: Ralph Butts
Date: 22 May 97 - 05:15 PM

Here's what I have - likely a separate song altogether. I'll dredge up my notes on who the author is......Tiger

The Scotsman’s Kilt

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked he’d drunk more than his share.
He staggered on until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o. Ring di diddle i o.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
"You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built?
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt."

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o. Ring di diddle i o.
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath their kilt.

They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,
Then lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o, Ring di diddle i o.
There was nothing there but what God gave upon his birth

They marveled for a moment then one said we’d best be gone,
But let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along.
They took a blue silk ribbon and they tied it in a bow
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot’s lifted kilt did show.

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o. Ring di diddle i o.
Around the bonnie spar that the Scot’s lifted kilt did show

The Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled toward a tree.
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
Then in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes
He said, "Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I see you won first prize."

Ring ding diddle diddle i de o. Ring di diddle i o.
He said, "Lad, I don’t know where you’ve been,
But I see you won first prize."

Subject: RE:
From:
Date: 22 May 97 - 05:21 PM

Ralph: That's pretty much what's in New Folk Favourites and is what the Wild Colonial Boys always sing so I was surprised to hear of other verses.

Bo. Yeah, they seem to be just a variation on a smutty joke that I heard in Boy Scout camp in 1958.

Frank Phillips

Subject: scotsman
From: rich r
Date: 22 May 97 - 09:06 PM

MIke Cross got his start singin around town and campus in Chapel Hill, NC inthe 1970s. I was living there at the time and heard him several times. He sang the Scotsman as Ralph describes it, without the two spurious "last verses". The song is included on his first album, Child Prodigy (1975, TGS Records, Chapel Hill, NC). He claims credit for the song on the album with a copyright 1975, Poet's Friend, Inc. I think the song has also been on one of his live CDs and also on the recent compilation of his humerous songs. A bit of trivia is that The Scotsman survives and has spread, but it was another track off that first album, "Wisdom Or A Drink" that was a minor hit on the local radio stations and got him additional exposure.

rich r

Subject: RE: Scotsman's kilt
From: Murray
Date: 23 May 97 - 03:35 AM

The story about "first prize" I heard from a pal of mine in 1954; he got it from his father just a bit previously [in the West of Scotland, this was]. As for the other anecdote ("gruesome" pun), I heard that as a mere joke told by a young fellow in the Royal Navy, Spring of 1952, in England (he probably got it at his public school not too long before this). I'm tickled to see both of these tributes to the Scots nation immortalised in song.

Subject: RE:
From: LaMarca
Date: 23 May 97 - 10:28 AM

There's a whole genre of songs that set shaggy dog story and other jokes in ballad form. Here's some that I've heard sung:

1. The Scotsman's kilt

2. The Old Woman and her cat - old woman granted 3 wishes, last wish is that her beloved cat be changed into a handsome young man, "You'll be sorry you had me neutered" - I've heard this one sung by Ed Miller, author unknown.

3. The $75 sportscar story: Young man sees ad for amazing sportscar at cheap price, calls to see if it's for real, car being sold by abandoned wife whose louse of a husband wires her a request to sell the car and send him the money - I think John McCutcheon was singing this one years ago.

4. The razor-edged chastity belt and the "loyal" but tongueless knight (enough said) - I've heard it sung by various SCA and Renaissance Fair denizens.

5.The classic Preacher and the Bear - I think this was a joke long before it was a song.

There's more I can't dredge up from memory now, but I'm sure that the practice of turning a good joke into a song is a venerable one! Any more out there? Sorry, I don't actually know the words to any of the ones I've mentioned...

Subject: RE:
From:
Date: 23 May 97 - 10:38 AM

#3 above is "The Red Corvette" on John's "Water from another Time" album. In the song book of the same name John says he heard the story at the 85 Vancouver Folk Festival.

Frank Phillips

Subject: RE:
From: Bert Hansell
Date: 23 May 97 - 11:07 AM

LaMarca,

"turning a good joke into a song" I wrote one myself but won't post it here because this isn't a songwriter's site. If you would like a copy, send me your email address.
Bert. [e-mail]

Subject: RE:
From:
Date: 25 May 97 - 03:10 PM

Last year (1996) at Winfield a guy (an attorney, if I remember correctly - we aren't particular in our campsite) sang an additional set of verses to the Mike Cross SCOTSMAN that I'd never heard. Of course, it was just a few hours after Mike had performed at Stage 1. Anyway, he said he had made up the verses himself. This particular circle is largely composed of songwriters. Anyway, they were different from what I've seen posted here. As I recall, they had the Scotsman going into a bar the next day for another round, an impromptu comparison of endowments at the loo, coming home, and his wife making some comments. The verses were better than those posted here, but not as good as Mike's. I don't recall his name, but he comes to our campsite every year. I can see his face in my mind. I would like to get the verses, so I could ask him for them this September. Or you could come to Winfield - I can give you directions to our campsite - it's right west of Stage 3, at a main cross roads in the West Grounds. If you're into acoustic music and haven't been to Winfield, plan to make a pilgrimage. Check out http://homepage.midusa.net/~shorock/wv/wvmenu.htm Bob Haight [e-mail]

Subject: RE:
From: Ralph Butts
Date: 25 May 97 - 08:23 PM

FYI.....Author of "The Scotsman's Kilt" submitted earlier is Bryan Bowers........Tiger

Subject: RE:
From: rich r
Date: 25 May 97 - 09:22 PM

I beg to differ! Bryan Bowers recorded the song, but on the back of album cover of his "View From Home" album it clearly states that Michael Cross wrote it.

rich r

Subject: RE:
From: Ralph Butts
Date: 27 May 97 - 07:06 AM

Thanks Rich....Your full boat easily beats my pair.....Tiger

Subject:
From:
Date: 29 May 97 - 05:19 PM

"Arkansas Traveler" (in the DT) is another song that looks like it started as a joke.

Subject: The Scotsman's Kilt
From:
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 11:48 AM

You used to have the music for this song on this site. I had a copy but somehow it's become "messed up". Any chance of getting you to put the song on here again?

Many thanks, I love this site! You've done a great work here!

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Noreen
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 03:22 PM

The lyrics are in the DT and it was mentioned in a few threads, but no mention of the music. Anyone know any more?

Noreen

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 03:27 PM

It is one of the songs for which we are searching for a tune. I don't ever recall having seen it previously, though I suppose it could have been accidently excluded from a update.

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Tig
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 04:29 PM

Oops! I thought this was going to be a reference to Wullie and his antics at Whitby. Didn't realise it was the song words and tunes you were looking for.

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 04:45 PM

Guest, I have a scanned TIF image of the music. I'll try sending it to your email addy above. MMario, to whom can I send the TIF to convert to ABC or Midi for Mudcat?

Further information: This was scanned from "New Folk Favorites," edited by Will Schmid. It's titled simply "The Scotsman" and credits Mike Cross with words and music, copyright 1979 Vic-Ray Publishing.

The song is on Mike Cross's Sugar Hill CDs, "Best of the Funny Stuff," and "Live and Kickin'". Good stuff on both those albums! It's also on Bryan Bowers' "Home, Home on the Road" CD from Flying Fish.

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 00 - 04:55 PM

to me will be fine. [e-mail]

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 29 Aug 00 - 01:34 AM

MMario:

Done.

Lin

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: John in Brisbane
Date: 29 Aug 00 - 08:29 AM

Hey Lin, I'm not familiar with the book you referred to. If you think it may bear fruit perhaps you could send a TIF of the index page to either MMario or myself. Regards, John ([e-mail])

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Captain Roberts
Date: 29 Aug 00 - 11:31 AM

Bear in mind that Mike Cross defends the copyright on his music with a fervor surpassed only by the US military. I've known performers (Two actually) who have been sued for performing it. Just a heads up.

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: MMario
Date: 29 Aug 00 - 10:32 PM

I got the tif, have made the midi - but I'm at home (work internet is down) - hopefully can post it tomorrow

Subject: Tune Add: THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT (Mike Cross)
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 08:38 AM

Midi sent to Alan -

MIDI file: scotsman.mid

Timebase: 192

Name: Scotsman
Text: Words and Music Mike Cross
Tempo: 180 (333333 microsec/crotchet)
TimeSig: 4/4 24 8
Start
0000 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0224 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0032 1 65 110 0094 0 65 000 0002 1 67 110 0256 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 67 110 0256 0 67 000 0032 1 59 110 0160 0 59 000 0032 1 60 110 0336 0 60 000 0336 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 64 110 0352 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 65 110 0094 0 65 000 0002 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0032 1 65 110 0190 0 65 000 0098 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 64 110 0256 0 64 000 0032 1 62 110 0336 0 62 000 0240 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0256 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 71 110 0160 0 71 000 0032 1 72 110 0256 0 72 000 0032 1 72 110 0094 0 72 000 0002 1 72 110 0192 0 72 000 0000 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 64 110 0256 0 64 000 0032 1 62 110 0336 0 62 000 0144 1 60 110 0094 0 60 000 0002 1 60 110 0160 0 60 000 0032 1 60 110 0160 0 60 000 0032 1 60 110 0094 0 60 000 0002 1 62 110 0256 0 62 000 0032 1 62 110 0160 0 62 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 65 110 0256 0 65 000 0032 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 64 110 0096 0 64 000 0000 1 62 110 0094 0 62 000 0002 1 60 110 0160 0 60 000 0032 1 60 110 0336 0 60 000 0432 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0094 0 69 000 0002 1 69 110 0160 0 69 000 0032 1 71 110 0094 0 71 000 0002 1 72 110 0352 0 72 000 0128 1 72 110 0160 0 72 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 67 110 0094 0 67 000 0002 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 62 110 0336 0 62 000 0240 1 62 110 0160 0 62 000 0032 1 60 110 0160 0 60 000 0032 1 60 110 0094 0 60 000 0002 1 62 110 0256 0 62 000 0032 1 62 110 0160 0 62 000 0032 1 64 110 0160 0 64 000 0032 1 64 110 0094 0 64 000 0002 1 65 110 0256 0 65 000 0032 1 65 110 0160 0 65 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 67 110 0160 0 67 000 0032 1 64 110 0096 0 64 000 0000 1 62 110 0094 0 62 000 0002 1 60 110 0160 0 60 000 0032 1 60 110 0528 0 60 000
End

This program is worth the effort of learning it.

To download the March 10 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here

ABC format:

X:1
T:Scotsman
M:4/4
Q:1/4=180
K:C
E2E2E2E2|E2F4F2|FG3GG3|B,2C6|-CEE2EE3|-EEFF2F3|
F2G2G2GE|-E2D6|A2A2AA3|A2AB2c3|cc2GG2GE|-E2D5C|
C2C2CD3|D2E2EF3|F2G2G2ED|C2C6|-C2A2A2AA|AAA2Bc3|
-c2c2G2GG|E2D6|D2C2CD3|D2E2EF3|F2G2G2ED|C2C11/2||

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST,mkaye
Date: 30 Aug 00 - 01:03 PM

Bryan Bowers does a great version on his Home Home on the Road CD. Check it out!

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 02:19 PM

I'm unable to copy the midi files; therefore, anyone have an idea where I can obtain a copy of the musical cords (guitar if possible) to The Scotsman?
Thanks
Dana

Subject: Chords Add: THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT
From: michaelr
Date: 03 Apr 05 - 03:40 PM

Dana -- this is from the book mentioned above, "New Folk Favorites".

A (C) Scotsman clad in (F) kilt left the (G) bar one evening (C) fair
And (C) one could tell by (F) how he walked he'd (C) drunk more than his (G) share
He (F) stumbled on until he could no (C) longer keep his (G) feet
Then he (C) staggered (G) off in(C)to the (F) grass to (G) sleep beside the (C) street
(F) Ring-ding deedle deedle di-de-o, (C) Ring di deedle-o (G) dee
He (C) staggered (G) off in(C)to the (F) grass to (G) sleep beside the (C) street


If you require more, I could email you a scan of the page as a jpeg.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Taffy2
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 01:44 AM

If anyone wants the words and the tune - sung by Jim Stafford in a truly lively manner - please contact me at      [e-mail]

Subject: RE: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 04 Apr 05 - 09:56 AM

Mudcat's own Seamus Kennedy has recorded this song on one of his albums.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST,Linda
Date: 19 Mar 08 - 08:47 PM

This song is alot older than many people think. A lady that uses the camp name Patchwork Nancy has a book form the 1800s that has the Sleeping Scotman song in it and she says that there are alot more verses than what is usually beingsung. When I see her again I will ask her what the book's title and author is.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Reiver 2
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 01:12 PM

Here in Arizona both Alex Beaton and Oceans Apart have recorded the song as, simply, "The Scotsman." (OK, Alex didn't record it in AZ, but has performed it many times at "Highland Games" festivals in the state.) The lyrics are pretty much what Ralph Butts has posted above.
It's on Alex's CD, "Alex Beaton's Daft Ditties," and is recorded live on Oceans Apart's CD "You Asked For It, Act Two."

Those who like songs about kilts and what is, or more often, is not worn under them might also enjoy the Corries rendition of their "humourous" version of Scotland The Brave, which I found on YouTube recently: As sung by Ronnie Browne there's just one verse that deals with kilts, but in the live performance, it brings down the house. It goes:

Land o' the kilt and sporran.
Underneath there's nothin' wor-an.
How I wish the wind was war-um.
Scotland the Brave.
I must admit it's pretty gruesome,
Walkin' aboot wi' your frozen twosome --
It's all we got, we mustn't lose 'em.
Scotland The Brave.

Reiver 2

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 05:49 PM

Ralph Butts:

I have told a hoary (or hairy) old joke with the same story and punch line for many years. I never knew it had origins in a song. I thank you!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 07:45 PM

Mike Cross did indeed write the song, with Bryan Bowers probably getting the most airplay from it.

I recorded it on my Seamus Kennedy Live album way back when with the additional verses which I wrot.

Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, continued up down the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more, when a lass he down to meet.
She said: "I've heard what's under there, tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, miss, if you'd really like to know!"

So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise,
The Scotsman smiled, and a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar:
"If you put yer hand up once again, you'll find it's grew some more!"

Yes, it's a smutty old joke brilliantly set to music by the gifted Mike Cross, and I just added an extra smutty joke on the same theme to his song.


Seamus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: michaelr
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 10:17 PM

We might have known it was Seamus...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 08 - 11:22 PM

Oops, that should read, "down the street" and "when a lass he chanced to meet".

Thank you, Michaelr. Good smut is hard to come by these days (oh, there's one!). Especially the rhyming kind.

Where's Tom Lehrer when we need him?

Seamus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST,Corey O'Sullivan
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 10:09 PM

these are the additional verses I know:

Our Scottish friend, still clad in kilt, continued up the street
He'd not gone ten yards or more, when who should he cbance to meet?
She said: "I've heard what's under there, tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, miss, if you'd really like to know!"

So she slid her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise,
The Scotsman grinned, and a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar:
"If you slip your hand up once again, you'll find it's grew some more!"

The lady paused a moment while her face was turning red
She asked the Scott to spend the night with her, and warm her bed
Said he: "my dear, I've got a wife, straight home to her I'll go,
Thought I amy be a bit more comfortable if I loosen up this bow."

His fingers steeled with drink were not, his head still spinnin'round
He could not loose the knot, and so he left it as 'twas found
And when his wife did spy on that fair stem what flower grows
It peaked her curiosity, as well you might suppose.

And When she asked the Scottsman where he'd been and what he'd done
He said there'd been a contest at the pub, and he had won
Said she "how could you show that thing, in front of all those men?"
He said "I did ne' show it all my lassie, just enough to win"


The origin of the first two of these is probably better covered here than any info I can supply. The last two I heard on a recording credited to a group called amarylis, the one in the middle was written by me, to tie the others together on a very long and silly day at the Michigan Renaissance Festival around (I think)2002; The full 10 verse compendium being known as the double-long, extra dirty version.. or perhaps extra long, double dirty if I get it backwards.

Corey O'Sullivan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 10:45 PM

Great additions! I love hearing this as done by Seamus and also Big Mick's band, the Conklin Céilidh band.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: GUEST,NYMusicLover
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 10:49 PM

I noticed that nobody mentioned that The Irish Rovers also performed this song..about the same time they did "Wasn't That A Party" I never did hear any other version of it..interesting though...

along another line, I love "Donald Where's Yer Trousers?" I laughed as hard at that one as I did "The Drunken Scotsman" - that's the title I always knew...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: additional verses to 'The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Dec 08 - 08:07 PM

Persons wishing to write new songs on a like theme are welcome to the following jokes of long standing:

1. While a black man was sleeping in a field, a snake crawled into his pants. On awakening to a call of nature & opening his fly, he sees the snake stick its head out. "I knew you was big," he says, "and I knew you was black, but where'd you get them beady blue eyes?"

2. Two stereotypical macho types (call them Mexicans) are boasting of their endowments in a bar, and one of them bets that his is longer than the tail of that cat over there. The bartender fetches a ruler & measures the cat's tail, but when he proceeds to the disputant, the latter objects: "Just a moment, Senor, where did you measure that cat's tail from?" "From the asshole." "Well, kindly do me the same favor."

Subject: ADD Version: The Scotsman (Mike Cross)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 01:37 AM

I'm preparing a transcription of the Mike Cross recording of "The Scotsman" for the upcoming Rise Again Songbook. I'm having trouble with one line in the second-last verse, the "bonnie star" line.

One Mudcatter posted: Around the bonnie spar that the Scot's lifted kilt did show. That makes more sense, but that's not what Mike Cross sings.

What I think I hear is : Around the bonnie star of the Scots's kilt, lift and show. But that doesn't make sense, either; so I left what we had.

Take a listen, if you could. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-IR1fPQaNs

Does anyone have a copy of Hal Leonard's New Folk Favorites that you could check the song there?



THE SCOTSMAN
(Mike Cross)


A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding deedle deedle di de oh, ring di deedle o dee
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Later on, 2 young & lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong & handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring…dil / I wonder...

They creeped up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing but what God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring…dir / Was nothing...

They marveled for a moment, then one said we'd best be gone
But let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
So as a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring…dow / Around...

The Scotsman woke to nature's call & stumbled toward the trees
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt & he gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
My friend, I don't know where you've been but I see you won 1st prize!
Ring…di /

w & m: Benjamin Michael Cross a/k/a Mike Cross
© 1979 Vic-Ray Publishing (ASCAP), 203 SW 3rd Ave,
Gainesville, FL 32601-6519. On his Live & Kickin', Folk Sing Along S & Best of the Funny Stuff. In New Folk Favorites.

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: WindhoverWeaver
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 04:03 AM

Joe, I hear it exactly as you have it in the lyrics: "Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show".

I have a version by a duo called "the Brobdingnagian bards" that is similar to the way I learned it (which I think was a version by "the dust rhinos"). There the line is "Around the bonnie star, the Scotman's kilt did lift and show" which I find scans better and I use it when I sing this song.

BTW you seem to have an extra line at the beginning of verse 2.

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 03:19 PM

Thanks WW (Windhover Weaver)-
I had the line breaks in the wrong place, attaching a line from verse 1 to the beginning of verse 2. Got it fixed.

What I hear on the Mike Cross recording is "Around the bonnie star of the Scots's kilt, lift and show." But that didn't make as much sense as what we had, "Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show" - so I left it unchanged.


-Joe-

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: PHJim
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 04:53 PM

THE SCOTSMAN         Mike Cross

A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh, ring ding diddle eye deet
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
You see yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong & handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh, ring ding diddle eye dilt
I wonder...

They crept up to that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh, ring ding diddle eye dirth
Was nothing...

They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We'd best be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along."
So as a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh, ring ding diddle eye doe
Around the bonnie...

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Och lad, I don't know where you've been but I see you won 1st prize!
Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh, ring ding diddle eye dize
Och Lad, ...

I've taken my favourite parts from Mike's and Bryan's versions. I can't recall who I heard sing it first, but they were both the same summer about 35 years ago, Bryan at the Pinnacle Hill Bluegrass Festival and Mike at the Owen Sound Folk Festival, both in Ontario.

Bryan sings,"Ring ding diddle iddle eye de oh,
             ring ding diddle eye dee,"
for every verse, while Mike makes it rhyme. I prefer Mike's "Ring ding..." line.
In Mike's version, the girls lift the kilt "above the waist," while Bryan's girls are a bit subtler. I go with Bryan's girls here.

I may have changed some other things a wee bit, but not on purpose.. I think the original verses stand on their own and are much funnier without the additional stanzas.

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: michaelr
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 09:37 PM

You're way off the mark here. The ribbon was tied around the bonny star of the Scot's (or Scots) kilt-lifting show.

Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Mar 15 - 01:26 AM

Brilliant, Michael! thank you very much.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: ADD tune/Verses: The Scotsman's Kilt
From: artbrooks
Date: 24 Mar 15 - 07:42 AM

Joe, RUS has a lot of 'additional verses by' notations. Why not include Seamus' addition that way?

Subject: Lyr Add: THE SCOTSMAN (Mike Cross)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Jul 17 - 11:10 PM

It seems nobody else sings this song exactly the way the writer sang it, and that may be a good thing. But just for the sake of documentation, I have listened very carefully to his recording on Spotify, and I believe this is accurate. I have boldfaced the words that are different from the version in the DT. And note that Cross called it THE SCOTSMAN, not THE SCOTSMAN'S KILT.


THE SCOTSMAN
Written by Mike Cross
As recorded by Mike Cross on "Live and Kickin'" (1990)

A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evenin' fair,
One could tell by how he walked, he'd drunk more than his share.
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-dee.
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Later on, two young and lovely girls just happened by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
"See yon sleepin' Scotsman so strong and handsome built.
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-dill.
"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."

They creeped [sic] up to the sleepin' Scotsman quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt above the waist so they could see,
There behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin' but what God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-derth.
Nothin' but what God had blessed him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment then one said: "We'd best be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
So as a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star of the Scot's kilt-liftin' show.
Ring-ding-deedle-eedle-i-de-o, ring-di-deedle-o-doe.
Around the bonnie star of the Scot's kilt-liftin' show.

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees.
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and he gawks at what he sees.
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes:
"My friend, I don't know where you been, but I see you won first prize.
First prize, first prize, I see you won first prize."

[Note that Cross omitted the "ring-ding-deedle" line in the last verse of this particular recording. But on another album, "Best of the Funny Stuff: Crème de la Cross" (1994) he included it.]