Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro

Subject: After something biblical and humourous!
From:
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 03:01 AM

I'm after any song at all that is of the biblical type. I also want a good laugh! Anyone out there that can help me?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Barbara
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 03:11 AM

Is this (SUNDAY SCHOOL) the sort of thing you had in mind, or maybe this one (FIVE CONSTIPATED MEN)?
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 12:36 PM

The 5 constipated men in the Bible? Balaam couldn't shift his ass, Moses took the tablets and Soloman sat for 40 years!! There are others I can't quite remember.

Or go for 'The Lord said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody, floody.'

If I were a butterfly?? Makes me laugh every time!!

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 12:40 PM

Raffi's "Who Built the Ark" is kinda cute, but I don't have the words.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,guest: cassandra
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 05:43 PM

this is my first post, so i'm not sure if i'm doing this right. i'm also technophobic, so after 1,000 posts i still might not be sure if i did it right.....

anyway, i've written a medley "cassandra's old testament ukulele favorites" setting your basic o.t. stories to standard 20's-30's ukulele tunes. people tell me it's a stitch. i can send you the lyri cs and tune names or chords, but i'm not sure if you click on my name if you can get to me............

if you want these, and you can't get to me, leave a note here and i'll find out what to do!!!!

cassandra

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Tinker
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 09:35 PM

There is a wonderful version of the Moses story to the tune of "Louie Louie". I only know the chorus.

Pharoah, Pharoah
Oh, Baby Let my People Go...UGH...
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
I said...
Repeat

You do Eygptian arms on the Pharoah words, swing your arms down to rock the baby, thumbs over your shoulders for let my people go, pelvic thrust on the Ugh, shake hands in front of you for the yeahs...

I'll trying checking for the words with a few people, I think they may be in the "Fish" book. (Sorry that's the only name I know it by. Kids and grownups both seem to love it.

Blessings

Tinker

I haven't tried line breaks before so lets see what happens

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Parson
Date: 10 Sep 00 - 09:54 PM

I am sure that my wife has all the words to the song referenced earlier. "The Lord told Noah, there's going to be a floody, floody..."

It's really funny when the Lord tells Noah to bring to the Ark elephants and kangaroosies, roosies.

Let me know if you would like to have all the lyrics.

Randall

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Fretless
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 09:54 AM

For Liz...

The other two are Cain, (he wasn't Able), and Samson, (he brought the house down).

I think I heard the parody first from David Jones, but it's been around for a long time.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,rabbitrunning
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:29 AM

RUN do not walk to your local video store and pick up the Very First Veggie Tales Sing Along video. Not all of the songs are biblical (in fact, most aren't) but the leeks singing:

Oh no, what we gonna do?
The King likes Daniel more than me and you
Oh no, what we gonna do?
We gotta get him out of here.
etc.

is worth the price of the tape. Also I seriously love "The Pirates Who Don't do Anything."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: MMario
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:36 AM

"Arky- Arky" is in the DT - but not under that title....I think it is Rise and Shine

this looks interesting, too! (THREE HA'PENCE A FOOT)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:20 PM

Cassandra-- Yes. Join Mudcat. Read FAQ thread. Then post it ALL!!!!!!! There is an old man with a bum arm here who LOVES old uke stuff AND jokes AND Jesus, and he needs a hobby cuz he can't play right now. But he will know all the tunes, and I gotta learn these!!! So cough up the stuff so he can teach me! Also do them at HearMe! Read FAQ! It will all become clear!

Parson-- hi. Are you one? My husband is.

~S~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Cuchulainn
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:49 PM

What about "Plastic Jesus"? You'll find the lyrics in the database. Our band plays it with guitar, bodhrán and banjo. a great song about plastics....

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Mbo
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 12:59 PM

From Godspell, by Stephen Schwartz, All For The Best.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 01:22 PM

Looks like he expects us to e mail him, has anybody done it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 04:40 PM

My best answer is in the DT, (forget the title) a song about Dives and Lazarus. No, not the Lazarus who was raised from the dead, but the poor man (Lazarus) turned away from the door of the rich man (Dives pronounced DY-veez), who gets his comeuppance.

Search for [rich man] and glory.

This is a humorous song, and is great for getting the audience to come in on the chorus!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Parson
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:10 PM

Praise,

People will walk up to me on the street & say, "I know you must be one, you look just like one." So I guess there's no use in trying to deny it.

I once knew one who had been married for at least 50 years & he always introduced her as, "My first wife!" Perhaps you can get yours to introduce you to others that way.

Ministerially speaking,

Randall

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 10:13 PM

Well, Randall, you see, I am not his first wife. But he introduces me as his BEST wife.

BTW, what is it, the collar?

~S~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: belter
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:00 PM

I heard a touring musition on time who had a song about a guy being inspired to build one of those shrines to Mary that catholics sometimes have in their yard that look like a Virgin Mary standing in a half buried upright bath tub. It's called "Bath Tub Virgin". I wish I the guy's name. He said he sang it once at a catholic school and the nuns liked it so much the took him out for some beer.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Parson
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:19 PM

No Praise, all my collars are turned around right. It is, rather, the tie and sports jacket for formal occasions, most of the time, just a sports shirt & slacks. The idea is to be dressed like my parishoners. Check you PM's for further clarification.

Randall

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Mbo
Date: 11 Sep 00 - 11:31 PM

Don't forget this favorite from Sawyer Brown, called Concrete Jesus.

Subject: Lyr Add: OUR FATHER JACOB REHEARSES...(I Manger)
From: GUEST,Citer
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 01:09 AM

Title: OUR FATHER JACOB REHEARSES 'THE SELLING OF JOSEPH' WITH HIS SONS

Writer: Itzik Manger

...Joseph, my very favorite son,
Put on your famous coat!
Your brothers are ready to sell you again
To a land strange and remote.

And when they throw you in the pit,
Weep­ but don't make a big deal;
This is, after all, not the first time
That you play this Purim Shpil*.

But if you wander by that place
Where your mother lies in her grave,
Shed a real tear upon the stone
And quietly to her say

That this old Jacob would again serve
Another seven years
That for a moment before his death
He again might stroke her hair....

Explain Pharaoh's dream wisely, as you always do;
That brings your family honor.
And, for God's sake, don't forget to save
A sack of meal for your father....

The original (Yiddish) version of the poem was published in 1935. This English translation is by David Maisel. Each of the three ellipses marks an untranslated missing stanza. Any suggestions of a tune it can be set to?

* Two Glosses:
--PURIM: an annual Jewish holiday celebrating the Bible story of the good Queen Esther and the wicked Haman.
--a PURIM SHPIL (aka SPIEL): a skit performed on Purim day by adults or children in theatrical costumes and masks. The two stories most commonly chosen for the Purim shpil have been the Bible stories of Joseph and Esther.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Yum Yum
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 04:32 AM

Have you heard John Prine's, 'Jesus, the missing years'? Don't forget, Liz (the squeek) Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 miles. No wonder the tablets didn't work! but he didn't have any problems with fuel prices then, cos it says 'he came down the hill in his triumph.'

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 04:57 AM

THIS ONE (FINDING OF MOSES) is a bit local to Dublin!

Regards

Subject: Lyr Add: PHARAOH,PHARAOH (Tony Sbrana)
From: Tinker
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 12:09 PM

PHARAOH, PHARAOH
(Tony Sbrana)

Chorus: Pharaoh, Pharaoh,
Oooh, ooh, let my people go, uh
Yea, yea, yea well. (repeat)

1. Well a burning told me just the other day
That I should come over here and stay
Gotta get my people outta Pharaoh's hand
And lead then all to the promised land
I said...

2. Well-a me 'n' God's people comin' to the Red Sea
And Pharaoh's army comin' after me
I raised my rod and stuck it in the sand
All of God's people walked across the dry land
I said...

3. Well-a Pharaoh's army is a comin' too So what do you think that I did do
I raised my rod and cleared my throat
And all of Pharaoh's army did the dead man's float
I said...

Chords:CCCFFGGGFF> Keep up this chording throughout the song. (Sounds like tune similar to Louie, Louie) KAD

I finally found the complete words. Hope it's formatted right

Tinker

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Steve Beisser
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 12:52 PM

I am a music evangelist and I write and arrange Christian songs and hymns. Please feel free to email me and we can talk about swapping or maybe I can write some stuff specifically for you. God bless you.

Steve [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Barbara
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 08:09 PM

HEeeeeyyyy, Cassandra, welcome to Mudcat. She writes some nifty songs, folks, even if she does use a ukelele. See if we can get her to post the e-mail romance one she and Tom sang in the park in Portland a couple weeks back.
Blessings,
Barbara,
And if all you other techno-whizzes out there would follow the occasional blue clicky link, you'd see I posted connections to "Five Constipated Men" and the "Baptist Sunday School", both of which are in Digitrad.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 00 - 08:16 PM

you mean we're suppossed to read the other posts?

Dang, wish people would tell me these things!

Subject: Lyr Add: A WICKED, WICKED MAN (Purim Song)^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Mar 01 - 05:16 AM

Jerry & Bev Praver and others sang this seasonally appropriate song at our song circle this evening. They missed a verse or two, but I found it in a songbook. Fun song - they said they learned it as kids.
-Joe Offer-

---

A WICKED, WICKED MAN

1. Oh, once there was a wicked, wicked man
The Bible calls him Haman
He lied and lied about the Jews,
Whom he was always blamin'

CHORUS
Oh, today we'll merry, merry be,
Oh, today we'll merry, merry be,
Oh, today we'll merry, merry be,
And eat some Homentashen.

2. And Esther was the lovely queen
Of King Ahasuerus
When Haman said he'd kill us all,
Oh, my, how he did scare us.

3. But Mordecai, her cousin bold,
Said: "What a dreadful knave, Sir!
Our Esther is a clever queen,
Her people she will save, Sir!"

4. When Esther, speaking to the King,
Of Haman's plot made mention,
"Aha!" said he, "Oh no he won't!
I'll spoil his bad intention."

5. The Bible tells how God destroyed
All Haman's plans so clever;
And God preserved the Jews that day,
As He has done forever.

An alternate first verse:
1. O, once there was a wicked, wicked man
And Haman was his name, sir
He would have murdered all the Jews,
Though they were not to blame, sir.

Tune: Landlord, Fill the Flowing Bowl

A song for the Jewish feast of Purim.

Source: "Union Songster: Songs and Prayers for Jewish Youth" (1960)

@Bible @Jewish
filename[ WICKEDMN
JRO
Notindt

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Mar 01 - 05:24 AM

Joe, not been to bed yet? Or are you another early riser? :)

Rich

Subject: Lyr Add: A WICKED WICKED MAN
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Mar 01 - 05:28 AM

Just got done singin', Rich.
Here's another verion.
-Joe Offer-

---

A WICKED WICKED MAN (Folktune)

Oh once there was a wicked, wicked man
And Haman was his name
He lied and lied about the Jews
Though they were not to blame.
Oh today we'll merry, merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

And Esther was a lovely queen
Of King Ahashvarosh
When Haman said he'd hurt us all
Oh my how he did scare us.
Oh today we'll merry merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

Esther had a cousin
And his name was Mordechai
He asked her, "Can you help us?"
And she said, "Of course, I'll try."
Oh today we'll merry, merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

When Esther speaking to the king
Of Haman's plot made mention
"Ah hah, said he," oh no he won't
I'll spoil his bad intention."
Oh today we'll merry, merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

In spite of Haman's awful plan
And the scare he gave us
Esther was so brave and strong
She knew just how to save us.
Oh today we'll merry, merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

So Haman got his just desserts
And we had won the day
And Esther we will ne'er forget
And on this day we say:
Oh today we'll merry, merry be (3x)
And nosh some hamantashen.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Sarah2 (at work)
Date: 10 Mar 01 - 08:01 AM

I'm really fond of the song about Potiphar (sp?) in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."

Potiphar had very few cares
He was one of Egypt's millionaires
Having made a fortune selling share
In pyramids

etc.

Sort of ragtime feel to it...

Sarah

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,Gill Moulding
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 07:13 AM

Does anyone have the words to There was an old man and he lived in Jerusalem and the chorus is something like glory hallelujah hi ro jerum? Would be grateful for any info my email is [e-mail]

Subject: Lyr Add: DEM BONES (GONNA RISE AGAIN)
From: GUEST,Jean
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 02:20 PM

Still seeking Biblical songs? Start at the very beginning, and teach the audience (the campers, the Girl Scout Troop, the Sunday School Class) their part first.

DEM BONES (GONNA RISE AGAIN)

The Lord He thought He'd make a man
(Dem bones gonna rise again)
Took a little water and he took a little sand
(Dem bones gonna rise again)

CHO: I knowed it knowed it, indeed I knowed it sister
I knowed it - whee! - dem bones gonna rise again

Now Adam he was lonely & blue (Dem bones, etc.)
Asked the Lord what he could do (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Took a rib from Adam's side (Dem bones, etc.)
Made Miss Eve to be his bride (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Put them in a garden fair (Dem bones, etc.)
Thought they'd be most happy there (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Apples, peaches, pears and such (Dem bones, etc.)
But of this tree you must not touch (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Now Eve took a walk by the tree one day (Dem bones, etc.)
And a serpent popped up in her way (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

"Now, Eve, this fruit tastes mighty fine" (Dem bones, etc.)
"Just take one, the Lord won't mind" (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Eve took a pick and she took a pull (Dem bones, etc.)
And then she filled her apron full (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Next day when the Lord came 'round (Dem bones, etc.)
Saw them cores all over the ground (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Now Adam and Eve they tried to hide (Dem bones, etc.)
But the Lord looked down, and them he spied (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

Asked "Adam, who these cores did leave?" (Dem bones, etc.)
'Tweren't me, Lord. Guess it was Eve! (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

"Now Adam you must leave this place." (Dem bones, etc.)
"And earn your livin' by the sweat of your face." (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

So he took a pick and he took a plow (Dem bones, etc.)
And that's why we're all workin' now! (Dem bones, etc.) CHO.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 24-Aug-02.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:52 PM

What's this? No one has yet mentioned Gershwin's "It Ain't Necessarily So" from "Porgy and Bess"?? (Maybe that song is a "given", i.e. assumed to be on the list already without needing to be said.)

Anyway, the original poster also said he wanted a laugh, so a couple of Bible jokes I found on the 'net:

Q: "Did you hear there was tennis in the Bible?"
A: "Yeah, 'Moses served in Pharoah's court.' "
A: "Yeah, 'in the big inning.' "

Q: "Did you hear there were cars in the Bible?"
A: "Yeah, where it says 'they all went in one Accord.' "

(Oh, wait, the guy said he wanted a good laugh... *G*)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 03:58 PM

HTML glitch alert: That second joke was supposed to say:

Q: "Did you hear there was baseball in the Bible?"
A: "Yeah, 'in the big inning.' "

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 04:08 PM

This one is much too long to post here, so I'll just link to it. It's called "When God Logged On": http://newsongonline.org/joke2.htm#When

But there's a little list on the same page that I will post here, 'cause it's shorter:

•666 - Number of the Beast 
•$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast 
•$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax 
•$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul 
•$656.66 - Walmart price of the Beast 
•00666 - Zip code of the Beast 
•1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please. 
•Route 666 - Highway of the Beast 
•666°F - Oven temperature for roast Beast 
•666k - Retirement plan of the Beast 
•6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast National Bank, $666 minimum deposit. 
•i66686 - CPU of the Beast 
•666i - BMW of the Beast 
•DSM-666 - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast 
•668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast 

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Genie
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 07:30 PM

I've heard the Passover song "Dayenu" sung to the old pop song "Diana." It's pretty funny.

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: firínne
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:10 PM

There is a song called 'The Finding Of Moses', written by Michael Moran, otherwise known as Zozimus.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Hippie Chick
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:15 PM

Herod's song in the stage version of "Godspell" and "Gimme That Old Time Religion". I know the latter can pull out jounds and jillions of verses on any search engine.

HC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 08:55 PM

Gil Moulding's request is in the Digital Tradition.

A search with Jerusalem reveals it as being The Rich Man and the Poor Man He has been e-mailed.

BTW - Do you know who the first insurance agent was?

It was David -

--------------------------------------he gave Goliath a piece of the rock.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 21 Aug 02 - 09:00 PM

For ease of access:

THE RICH MAN AND THE POOR MAN

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: Genie
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:47 AM

"Samson was the strongest man long ago.
No one could defeat him, we all know,
Until he clashed with Delilah on top of the bed...
She told him all his strength was in the hair of his head!

That's right, the woman is -- uh! -- smarter!"
That's right, the woman is -- uh! -- smarter!"
That's right, the woman is -- uh! -- smarter!"
That's right! That's right!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 01:48 AM

Your meter is wrong

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: After something biblical and humouro
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 22 Aug 02 - 12:57 PM

Are you sure that you are not looking for "Hi, ho, Kafuzalem, Harlot of Jerusalem?"