Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Sep 00 - 07:09 PM On Ozymandias - pass - only ever learned the two lines quoted!! Somethng that came out of the dim and distant depths today - a poem that ends - and the slow steady work of 200 years, is ended in less than two hours. It's called Throwing a tree, by Thomas Hardy, and is one of the few things of his that I can stomach.... anyone else ever heard of it? Can anyone point me to a copy of it - it doesn't appear in the anthologies I have, and the one book I know has it (the complete poems of TH) is out of print. LTS |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: A Wandering Minstrel Date: 27 Sep 00 - 08:56 AM Naemenson: Its not so much a poem as an anecdote. you start with some sort of plausible reason for discarding the scotch (past its sellby date or whatever) then you go through the repitition becoming more visibly drunken with each repetition so: I opened up the first bottle, thought I had better try it so I had a glass, then I threw the rest away down the sink I opened up the nex bo'le, Had a glass(hic) and threw the rest away down the, down the ...sink about bottle 5 its: I oped...opend the next glass, thought I better try... , drank a sink and poured it down a bottle (hic) Ultimately the reciter is clearly smashed out of their brain and still trying to go through the repitition. you can end by either collapsing or quitting the stage to the accompaniement of violent retching. It's all in the way you tell it, if you can have a correspondingly deteriorating repeated sequence of opening, drinking and pouring which is at odds to the words it helps |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 27 Sep 00 - 11:11 AM To see this sort of thing done RIGHT, you need to see the old Red Skelton sketch, "Smoooooth!". He's supposedly going to do a television spot for Guzzler's Gin, and after a short snort he says, "Smooth! Guzzler's Gin!" But there has to be a retake. and a retake. et cetera. He gets progressively more smashed, and of course the punch line to each stage is Smooth".."SMOOTH!"... Smooooth!"... and finally "Schmoooooooo-oooo-ooth!" and he collapses, as I recall. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 27 Sep 00 - 11:19 AM Come to think more about about it, the name of the sketch was "Guzzler's Gin", not "Smoooth!" A distinction without a difference, I guess, but I thought I'd set it straight. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: NightWing Date: 27 Sep 00 - 12:58 PM *LOL* (Bawdy story warning) A funny story about recitation: I've memorized numerous bits and pieces here and there. (This member of the Borogoves is resting under the Tum-Tum Tree in uffish thought. *G*) About a year ago I wanted to put together a performance piece for an oddball sort of club I belong to. And I memorized "Eskimo Nell".
If anyone doesn't know it, "Eskimo Nell" is a LOOOOONG poem (rather Service-esque, but I don't know who wrote it) about a sexual contest between Dead-eye Dick and Eskimo Nell. (Nell wins.) Thing of it is, this oddball sort of club is the Hash House Harriers. We call ourselves "the drinking club with a running problem." If you've never heard of it, think of a rugby club for runners. Memorizing a poem this long well enough that you can do it drunk takes some SERIOUS memorization, and I worked at it for nearly six months before I had the nerve to try it. I got it off okay, though. About two months AFTER my first try with it, I had surgery on my foot. It was out-patient surgery, so I didn't see the doctor or his staff for several days after they cut on me. When I went back into the doctor's office for my first checkup after, the nurses were sort of chuckling at me. I asked why and one of them explained that under the sedative I had recited poetry. I asked what and she blushed. So I guessed what it must have been and started in on "Eskimo Nell"; she blushed scarlet and practically ran out of the room giggling. So I figure that's what it probably was. But I still wonder: I got it right when I was dead drunk. Did I get it right even under sedation? NightWing |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: NightWing Date: 27 Sep 00 - 01:02 PM Whoops! Forgot you need line breaks in a pre block:
When a man grows old and his balls grow cold |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: rabbitrunning Date: 27 Sep 00 - 02:55 PM Being drunk and being sedated are very similar actually. (Which is why alcoholics give anaesthestists fits.) So you probably got it just as "right" in the one state as in the other. Now, where do I find the rest of the verses? |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: NightWing Date: 27 Sep 00 - 03:42 PM Somebody in the Humorous Sex Songs thread posted this URL and I found it there.
The Index ... This version has several verses not in the version I memorized. Back to it, I guess. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Steve Parkes Date: 28 Sep 00 - 03:29 AM It has been attributed to Robert Service. It was cetainly written by a poet of sorts, and not a rugger player! Steve |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: sian, west wales Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:55 AM If we're talkin' monologues as well as poems, I'm rather partial to Whose on First? and Niagara Falls! - neither of which raise a glimmer of understanding on this side (Europe) of the Atlantic. (sigh) sian |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: sian, west wales Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:56 AM oops. Quick self-correction: those two are actually dialogues, aren't they? Takes two... sian |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: The Walrus at work Date: 28 Sep 00 - 01:06 PM AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! Ever since I read this thread, I've had the piece I was forced to recite at school trying to force its way out of its locked down quarentine area buried in the depths of my memory. "Slowly, silently, now the Moon "Walks the night in her silver shoon, "This way and that, she peers and sees "Silver fruit upon silver trees......" An appalling piece (IMHO) made worse by never being explained, it was years before I discovered that "silver shoon" were shoes and not a description of moon light. Give me Kipling every time. Regards Walrus |
Subject: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Joe Offer Date: 28 Sep 00 - 02:06 PM This is a continuation of this thread (click) A peculiar bird is the pelican I always thought this was written by Ogden Nash, but this site (click) contends otherwise. -Joe Offer- |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Sep 00 - 04:39 PM Moses supposes his toeses are roses But Moses supposes erroneously. For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses As Moses supposes his toeses to be! and another: The breezes, the breezes, they blow through the treeses They blow the girls' skirtses above the girls' kneeses. The college man seeses and does what he pleases And spreads the diseases--oh Jeezes, oh Jeezes!! The things you learn in eighth grade! Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Micca Date: 28 Sep 00 - 05:14 PM Liz, just for you as a sort of belated Birthday prezzie
OZYMANDIAS OF EGYPT |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Sep 00 - 07:28 PM Just what I've always wanted....
Gnarly and bent and deaf as a post,
Then tippy tappy up the isle, No idea who wrote it, had to learn it for school, got a gold star and a funny look - everyone else did something about daffodils. LTS |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: GUEST,sybil Date: 28 Sep 00 - 08:18 PM Rats! They fought the dogs and killed the cats. And killed the babies in their cradles, And ate the cheese out of the vats, And drank the soup from the cooks own ladles. Split open the kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men's Sunday hats And even spoiled the women's meeting By drowning their speaking in shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and flats. Grade 5 and it still rolls off the tongue full of sibilants. Robert Browning from the Pied Piper of Hamelyn. We did the daffodils of course. But what I really like from those days are the clapping, skipping and other rhymes from the schoolyard like- Nobody likes me Everybody hates me Think I'll go and eat some worms Big ones, small ones, skinny ones fat ones Worms that squiggle and squirm Rip their heads off Suck their blood and throw their skins away Nobody knows how I enjoy eating worms three times a day. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: GUEST,me Date: 02 Apr 06 - 11:39 PM hey, look! I'm getting involved with this conversation six years after it happened! It's like the twilight zone! |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: katlaughing Date: 11 Feb 07 - 02:21 PM refresh - some great stuff in this thread! |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Bill D Date: 11 Feb 07 - 04:32 PM Yes indeed! I had almost forgotten that Joe had found the recitation my father did. Copied & saved...now I have to finish learning it. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: katlaughing Date: 11 Feb 07 - 05:40 PM It is a wonderful one, Bill, but I think, sadly, the references would be lost to so many of the younger folks. Maybe not...I may be too melancholy for it, today. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Gurney Date: 12 Feb 07 - 01:51 AM I used to do lots of monologues, of the sort associated with Stanley Holloway. The audience preferred them to my singing. Funny, that. Think I'll go and see if Paul's site on monologues is still up. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: GUEST,Darowyn Date: 12 Feb 07 - 04:45 AM I can do "Albert and the Lion" from memory- I've always found memorising poems and lyrics very easy though. The only problem came when I was sitting in on a session where some friends going to sing "Black Velvet Band", and I lead off with "There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool, That's noted for fresh air and fun...." Cheers Dave |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Folkiedave Date: 12 Feb 07 - 05:16 AM There was a man in Huddersfield Who had a cow that wouldn't yield The reason why it wouldn't yield, It didn't like its udders feeled. Heard from John Foreman. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: GUEST,Mark Dowding at work Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:19 AM Following on from "Daffodils" in the previous thread, Peter Maloney - a Liverpool teacher who did talks about language came up with this parody which my dad does on occasions after first reciting the original: I wandered dozy with my cart Up Brownlow hill to take me welt When of a sudden I seed a tart That almost made my eyeballs melt Hey dere girl be my bird My throat went dry like at the word What other Judy could I take in through the ale house door each night What other guy would not go all green with envy at the sight Jet white of hair with orange gob Cheeks a rosy purple blob No more sexy she could look Than pictures in a drawing book And as she walked her hips were rockin' My heart was pounding something shockin' I looked and looked - oh what a twit It surely learned me - didn' it That whilst this Judy stole my heart Some other swine had robbed my cart! (Best recited in a scouse accent) At junior school, the teacher used to put poems on the board for us to copy into our books - some of them stuck - or bits of them which makes me go looking for them 35 years later! Cheers Mark |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Alec Date: 12 Feb 07 - 08:37 AM The North wind doth blow And we shall have snow And what shall the Robin do then,poor thing? He'll hide in a barn And keep himself warm With his head tucked under his wing Poor thing. My public speaking debut.Aged 4 |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: mack/misophist Date: 12 Feb 07 - 09:43 AM There were three wise men of Gotham Who went to sea in a bowl... If the bowl had been stronger, The storey'd be longer. For those with poor memories. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Fliss Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:00 AM When I was in the VI form at Shrewsbury High School we had an eccentric master from Shrewsbury School who taught us for the university entrance English exam. We did 'spells'- words for the sounds rather than meaning. We had a poem a week to learn. Then 'volunteered' to recite standing on a chair. We learned a lot of Auden and TS Elliot also ee cummings. Ive always loved poetry and have written my own since those days. Beware! Beware! his flashing eyes! his floating hair! Weave a circle round him thrice, and close your eyes with holy dread! for he on honey-dew hath fed, and drunk the milk of Paradise. XANADU- THE BALLAD OF KUBLA KHAN Poem by SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE Only we said her instead of him. --------------------------------- Anyone lived in a pretty how town -- E. E. Cummings anyone lived in a pretty how town (with up so floating many bells down) spring summer autumn winter he sang his didn't he danced his did. Women and men(both little and small) cared for anyone not at all they sowed their isn't they reaped their same sun moon stars rain children guessed(but only a few and down they forgot as up they grew autumn winter spring summer) that noone loved him more by more when by now and tree by leaf she laughed his joy she cried his grief bird by snow and stir by still anyone's any was all to her someones married their everyones laughed their cryings and did their dance (sleep wake hoe and then)they said their nevers and they slept their dream stars rain sun moon (and only the snow can begin to explain how children are apt for forget to remember with up so floating many bells down) one day anyone died i guess (and noone stooped to kiss his face) busy folk buried them side by side little by little and was by was all by all and deep by deep and more by more they dream their sleep noone and anyone earth by april wish by spirit and if by yes. Women and men(both dong and ding) summer autumn winter spring reaped their sowing and went their came sun moon stars rain enjoy fxx |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 12 Feb 07 - 10:18 AM When I was about ten years old, every kid in the class of 30 had to recite the Storming of Ratisbon. (Talk about tedious!) I believe it was by Browning. I'm sure most of us had no understanding of what the poem was actually about. We got our revenge by doing this. The poet wrote: "I'm killed, sire!" and with his chief beside, Smiling the boy fell dead. We recited: "I'm killed, sire!" and with his chief beside, smiling. The boy fell dead. Feeble, yes, but we were doing what we could. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: Gurney Date: 13 Feb 07 - 02:31 AM Darowyn, it might be a good idea to mug up 'Albert comes back.' I've had a couple of tots get quite concerned. Like the amalgam, though. Wonder if I can think of a chorus. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite - Part 2 From: JennyO Date: 13 Feb 07 - 06:02 AM I remember a poem we had to recite in primary school, and I vividly remember exactly the singsong way we used to say it: A Greeeen Cornfield. Byyyyyyyyee Christiiina Ro-ssetti AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: GUEST,Frank proctor Date: 19 May 11 - 06:30 PM brilliant thank Q this as bin wi me for so meny years av tort mi famly it in a scous aksent i herd it on a LP HOW TO TALK SCOUS PROPER av bin lookin for it for over 35 yer once agen tar very much frank [brownlow hill] xxx |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: MorwenEdhelwen1 Date: 19 May 11 - 06:45 PM In drama lessons at my school, recitation is part of developing acting skills. I took drama lessons after school in Year 7. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: MorwenEdhelwen1 Date: 19 May 11 - 07:10 PM And there was also a time when the whole class had to recite poems. I recited this: Excerpts from The Song of Beren and Luthien (JRR Tolkien). The last few stanzas in fact. Yes, I am a huge Tolkien fan! That's how I got my username:). Found in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, in the chapter "A Knife In The Dark" in Book 1. He sought her ever, wandering far, Where leaves of years were thickly strewn, By light of moon and ray of star In frosty heavens shivering. Her mantle glinted in the moon As on a hill-top high and far, She danced, and at her feet was strewn, A mist of silver quivering. When winter passed, she came again, And her song released the sudden spring, Like rising lark and falling rain, And melting water bubbling. He saw the Elven-flowers spring About her feet, and healed again, He longed by her to dance and sing, Upon the grass untroubling. Again she fled, but swift he came, Tinuviel! Tinuviel! He called her by her elvish name; And there she halted listening; One moment stood she, and then a spell His voice laid on her; Beren came, And doom fell on Tinuviel That in his arms lay glistening. As Beren looked into her eyes, Within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies He saw there mirrored shimmering. Tinuviel the elven-fair, Immortal maiden elven-wise; About him cast her shadowy hair And arms like silver glimmering. Long was the way that fate them bore, O'er stony mountains cold and grey, Through halls of iron and darkling door, and woods of nightshade morrowless. The Sundering Seas between them lay, And yet at last they met once more, And long ago they passed away In the forest singing sorrowless. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: MorwenEdhelwen1 Date: 19 May 11 - 07:29 PM In Australia, at least, recitation of poems has not died out. However, students are not required to recite specific poems. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: LadyJean Date: 19 May 11 - 11:08 PM Like my father, I am afflicted with an eidetic memory and a fondness for performing. Dad, as a grade school student was told to memorize and recite so many lines of poetry. He learned a part of Rudyard Kipling's "The Ballad of East and West", ending his recitation on and. In 1989, I recited most of "Barbara Frietchie" in honor of the centennial of the Carnegie Library of Braddock, Pa. Which was Andrew Carnegie's first library. Being dubiously blessed as I am, there is a lot of verse stored between my ears. I once learned a rude limerick while sitting on a friend's toilet. I still know it. I still know "Mrs. Ocean Takes In Washing" that I had to learn in the third grade, and the several poems I memorized in grade school because I liked them. Oh yeah, I still know Barbar Freitchie, and all my lines from "Our Town" that we did in high school. |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Joe Offer Date: 19 May 11 - 11:24 PM On April 22 (Earth Day) the local Catholic school invited me to read for the eighth grade for the Read Across America program. I was honored, since I heard that Michelle Obama was reading in the same program. I read a selection of poetry (Ogden Nash, Robert W. Service, Edwin Arlington Robinson, Arlo Guthrie, et al.), along with a short story by Isaac Bashevis Singer. The kids loved it, and I had a wonderful time. -Joe- |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Kent Davis Date: 20 May 11 - 11:30 PM Here are some of the recitations which my homeschooled daughters (ages 10 and 16) have learned: "When the Frost is on the Punkin", "Barbara Frietchie", "The Weather", "What is Pink", "Who Has Seen The Wind", "The Little Turtle", "Jemima" (There Was a Little Girl), "Psalm 1" (Blessed Is the Man), "Psalm 23" (The Lord Is My Shepherd), and Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (the Shema). Kent |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: GUEST,Desi C Date: 21 May 11 - 02:54 PM Having once suffered from Chronic stage fright, these days I could probably sing in front of any audience. But though I enjoy poetry and have had some poems published, I don't think I could recite a poem or a monologue in front of an audience! odd eh. Anyone else like that? |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: SINSULL Date: 29 May 11 - 09:06 AM Quick as it fell from the broken staff Dame Barbara grabbed the silken scarf She leaned far out on the window sill and Shook it forth with a royal will. "Shoot if you must this old grey head But spare your country's flag" she said. A shade of sadness A touch of shame Over the face of the leader came. "Who touches a hair on yon grey head Dies like a dog March on!" he said. Barbara Fritchie |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: GUEST Date: 02 Sep 16 - 06:45 PM an anonymous brow beaten, clubbed, denigrated, emasculated, fiend fashioned, geeky homeboy, ill lust traded, jabbering, kooky, liberal minded nonestablishmentarian: -------------------------------------------------------------------- America boastfulness? capitalistic depravity? egoistic fanaticism? glorified hucksterism? indomitable gerrymandering? and the list goes on...tracing and bending backward in time when might equaled right, and those debonair, powered/ pomaded hair, leer ring kings of leon drove a stake into the heart of innocence and purity, when ruthless, selfish, and treachery wrenched indigenous occupants of these lands, THUS.... Touchdown for Colin Kaepernick noah rant, rave or rabid byte zing er, from yet another web cruiser so, i haint another B52, 747, nor boo wing brouhaha against your choice against salute ting the Stars and Stripes, where many online patriot game watchers wanna swing you with a sucker punch or pistol whip ya over the head until each ear doth ring heard all the way back to reign of the Qing Dynasty, where ye might be revered cuz ja got tackled as a traitor with endless har ping from many another maniacal mechanical motormouth from a New Yawk borough, or the enclave of Ossining freely tossing in their two sense like nattering nabobs of negativity from....across the states mandating that ye (WHO OWN the INALIENABLE RIGHT of FREE EXPRESSION - non verbal or otherwise) once the storied, paraded, mollycoddled dar ling now ardent fans fanatically go berserk and rogue with raucous, obnoxious and libelous king size bully tactics demanding you plant right hand over left breast (and play by the unspoken rules of JINGOISM) i.e. unquestioned obeisance toupee hair raising homage like discordant jangling which personal preference suddenly dominate ing jamming mass media communication - with billions of dollars riding buckshot revering Old Glory, newscasters getting a run for their money to the end zone unsolicited absolute horror at such blatant traitorous actions when such a decorated, gussied, kickstarter undeserving to be held in high esteem, BUT I APPLAUD self expression (and if in the klieg lights, i would act likewise) giving thee nonestablishmentarian stance of mine a forwarding pass, that got hurled around the globe exploding wrathful gripes sullying America especially during a poignant moment to such bonobo monkeys that cling for dear life to false sense of grandeur AND exploitation bing blithe to the turf wars imposed by fore fathers long since aging in mausoleums, who did rent asunder plunder, pillage and rape under the aegis of imperialism. YOU GO COLIN! |
Subject: RE: Anyone here had to recite? From: Jeri Date: 02 Sep 16 - 08:32 PM Two things: 1) I think this deserves its own thread, and 2) It's really, really good. If you don't like what it says, it's still an amazingly good poem. ...end of things. Guest did you write this or find it? |
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