Parody Folk Circle I

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 03:06 AM

I owe you for the Four Questions, Rechal. Here's the song your requested:

SHIT I'VE FORGOTTEN THE WORDS, songwriter unknown, recorded in 1995 by Hamish Imlach on "More and Merrier."

My heart is pounding within my breast
I know the first line, forgot all the rest
A memory like mine is a hell of a pest
Shit I've forgotten the words.

CHORUS

On a packet of fags I'd written them down
Threw them away as I drove into town
Now I feel a bit of a clown
'Cos shit I've forgotten the words.

2. The last time I sang them they went down a treat
Dogs were a-howling out on the street
And I spilt my beer all over my feet
'Cos shit I've forgotten the words.
CHORUS

3. Sometimes they come back line by line as I sing
Tonight I can't seem to remember a thing
Ian McCalman will know I'll give him a ring
Oh, shit' I've forgotten his number
CHORUS

4. So, come all you singers and practice your verse
If you do not you surely will curse
But I remembered the tune so it could have been worse
CHORUS

Oh, and the CD booklet graciously gives a translation for "fags" and explains it means "cigarettes."

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From:
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 03:12 AM

Shit, I forgot the last line

4. So, come all you singers and practice your verse
If you do not you surely will curse
But I remembered the tune so it could have been worse
Next time I'll remember the words.

CHORUS

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Wolfgang
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 05:30 AM

The tracklist of "Murdered Ballads" (Hamish Imlach)

Cornflakes, sugar, teardrops
Bluebird
Baldheaded Woman
People upstairs
Coulter's Candy
Daddy what if
Tableau at twilight
Jenny Jenkins
The Whale
The mermaid
The Rabbit
Travelling rhythm
Murdered Ballad
The Lion
The Night Sound
That terrible, terrible Night

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 10:32 AM

Click here for another parody

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 04:39 PM

Here's one of my own

PRESSURE IS DOUBLE
(sung to DARK AS A DUNGEON by Merle Travis)

Lyrics Copyrighted - John A. Jesberger

Come all you young women, so fair and so fine
And seek not your fortune in the clerical line
It will darken your soul, it will soften your mind
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line

(Chorus)
Where the pressure is double, the raises are few
And whenever there's trouble, the blame falls on you
Where the flourescents hum, and the laserjets whine
It's a lifetime of boredom in the clerical line.

There is no greater headache for any to find
Than to work for a boss that can't make up their mind
You will pound out the redrafts and reset the forms
And wish that the moron would leave you alone

(Chorus)

You will stand all the pressure as long as you're able
But eventually you will become unstable
It's a mind-numbing hell, full of sorrow and strife
Where the fumes of the White-Out can blind you for life

Alternate last two lines
You'll get asked to get coffee one too many times
Then you'll strangle your boss with the packaging twine

(chorus)

Best Regards

Jack

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Jack
Date: 25 Aug 97 - 04:51 PM

BTW

Someone mentioned parodies of The Wedding Song (There is love) way back during the "folk songs to ditch" thread. I particularly detest this song (just a personal opinion), and would appreciate the lyrics to a good spoof of it.

Thanks

Jack

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Catfeet
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 02:21 PM

Here's my two cents, and btw, a song from the deep, dark, dank, depths of my heart. We always sang it in the worst possible accent to people we KNEW were from NJ, so sorry Dick & Susan, but here goes it any way. It's sung to the tune of The Rolling Hills of New Jersey and is called The Rolling Mills of New Jersey.

Chorus: When I die bury me low,/ Where I can hear da petroleum flow/ Da sweetest sound I ever did know,/ Da rolling mills of New Jersey/

In Hoboken, dere is a Bar/ Where da bums come from near and far/ Dey come by truck, dey come by car/ De lousy bums of New Jersey/

Chorus

Down in Trenton dere will be/ Trash as far as the eye can see/ Enough for you, enough for me/ Da garbage pails of New Jersey/

Chorus

When first I started to roam/ I traveled far away from Bayonne/ Den I sat down and wrote dis poem/ I wrote an ode to New Jersey/

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 04:13 PM

Ok, let me toot my own horn a bit here.

Silicone Cindy

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: catwoman
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 04:40 PM

Here's part of another Barney song

I love you. You love me. Barney gave me HIV. With a hug and a kiss and a little bit more, I got AIDS from a dinosaur.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 07:23 PM

Catfeet, That's "Rolling Hills of the Boarder", great song, forgot about then great parody. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Catfeet
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 08:47 PM

Thanks Barry, I got it in the most folkie way possible, by word of mouth, so it well could have been mangled in the transmission.

Catfeet

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry Finn
Date: 26 Aug 97 - 09:02 PM

Catfeet, check it out in the DT under "The Rolling Hills Of The Border", another gem from Matt McGinn. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 28 Aug 97 - 11:39 AM

Here's one we used to do on a Toby show. It's to the tune of "Till We Meet Again," complete with verse.

Our old hen hatched out some little ducks;
She thought they were all her own.
But when the rooster arrived,
He was very much surprised,
And exclaimed in an angry tone:

Madam, you've been deceiving me.
What I see leaves me in a mystery.
You've played me false, you've been untrue;
I'll sigh, I'll cry, I'll be so blue.
Those ducks you've hatched do not belong to me;
You have mixed with the Web-foot family.
So go your way, and sin no more,
Till we meet again.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 01:50 AM

Reminds me of the Irish song "Rockin' the Cradle"... the man left at home while his wife goes out to the dance, and he sings that he's rockin' the cradle, but the baby's not his own.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alice
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 01:51 AM

Sorry... the above post isn't really about a parody.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 03:21 AM

Well, maybe the song isn't a parody, Alice, but it sounds interesting. don't get inhibited. We're friendly here - mostly....
Better yet, post the lyrics in a new thread, and we all will be very pleased with you.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 29 Aug 97 - 03:51 AM

Alice,
The Aussie version of "Rockin' the Cradle" is called "The Wee One" & is about a young man from the town of Kiandra (NSW). Search the DT database for the misspelt Ciandra. Until recently I thought it was an original Aussie song, but then a lot of our songs have Irish origins.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 03:04 AM

Okee-dokee, fellow thrill-seekers, new quest. (Hope this is the right thread for it.)

The chorus of this gleefully puerile ditty is all I know. I checked the database, and several folk and country sites before posting here. Tried title variants, as well. Since I remember the brief flurry of popularity the song enjoyed some time back, on mainstream radio, I hope someone can direct me to a source of the complete lyrics.

(Chorus:) Does yer chew'n' gum lose is flavour on the bedpost overnight? If yer mother says don't chew it, do ya swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on yer tonsils, 'n' heave it left 'n'right? Does yer chew'n' gum lose is flavour on the bedpost overnight?

More?

(The edification of some Small Persons of the Scouting Persuasion is involved, so if this posting comes up empty, maybe I'll try it on the scout songs thread.)

Thanks for the bother!

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 03:16 AM

Now, Shula, far be it from ME to be a smart aleck, but did it occur to you to search for your song in the Digital Tradition? Well, you probably wouldn't find it without a hint: search under "spearmint." The song was written Way Back When by Billy Rose, but somebody changed "spearmint" to "chewing gum" in the song when it was recorded in the 1960's.
Two questions for anybody:
1. Who made a hit of this song in the 1960's? The database says the Irish Rovers recorded it, but I'm sure theirs wasn't the hit recording.
2. Wasn't billy rose married to somebody famous? Who was she?

3. For that matter, can somebody post the lyrics as we heard them in the 60's?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Barry
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:41 AM

Probaly Lonnie D. but I'd check a rock & roll site for this type of question. Barry

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:41 AM

Lonnie Donnegan had a hit with "chewing gum" in England. I think it was in the late Fifties.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 11:50 AM

Dear Joe Offer,

Much obliged, and, mais d'accord, humbled, yet again. After my recent failures of scholarship, pretty much expected there'd be some version, encoded and enshrined in the Great & Wonderful D.T. Database.

But then, why have such a formidable truncheon if you can't beat ignoramuses like me about the head with it?! You Oxford & Cambridge folkies get some "esoteric-er-than-thou" jollies, and we benighted peasants get to sing some truly cool stuff --seems a right sort of bargain to me.

So, if nobody much minds, I'll just keep the dunce stool, unless I'm really feelin' ragged, in which case, I'll forward my muddle-headed queries through my friend, Mme. A. Mous, ("Nony", when at home).

Oh yes, and while we're on about this hallowed example of papyric-phonic folk-art,: derivative though they be, I'd fancy the later lyrics m'self, if someone's got 'em just lyin' about. Thanks again, and my scouting friends salute you.

Shula

P. S. Mr. Rose was the second husband of the famous vaudeville comedienne, Fanny Brice (real surname, Borach)...A musical version of this relationship was widely popularised by Barbra Streisand in the film, "Funny Lady", sequel to "Funny Girl." James Caan, you may recall, provided the rather romanticised Hollywood version of Rose. Nice of you to give me a chance to redeem myself a bit!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:02 PM

Have you seen the parody of "Green Fields of France" in the DT? A great favourite of mine

Regards

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:11 PM

"Does Your Chewing Gum Lose it's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" was recorded in the early 60's by Lonnie Donnegan. Think it was his only American hit. At the time, my mother rememberd it as "spearmint." I think Donnegan changed it.

Here's the song as I remember it (relying on the database version where memory fails)

Oh me, oh my, oh you; Whatever shall I do?
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I'd give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question is it yes or is it no

CHORUS: Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
If your mother says don't chew it do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right
Does the chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?

Here comes the blushing bride; the groom is by herside
Up to the altar, it's steady as Gibraltar
The groom has got the ring; and it's such a pretty thing
As he slips it on her finger the choir begins to sing

chorus

The nation rose as one, and sent its fav'rite son
Up to the White House, the nation's only lighthouse
To see the President; he said that "I've been sent
To solve the burning question that involves the continent."
(If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?)

chorus

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:21 PM

Great Earl, I'd forgotten that "tin whistle" line.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 02 Sep 97 - 12:53 PM

Thank you kindly, Earl. The small scouts should be more than satisfied.

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 02:48 AM

I wasn't trying to put you down, Shula. I got caught on the very same song a while back, because I was looking under "chewing." Here's an interesting URL that's very applicable to this thread:
http://copper.ucs.indiana.edu/~jbmorris/
It's the Dr. Demento lyrics site. What's there is good, but many gems are missing. I checked the UW Parkside lyrics database and the International Lyrics Server, and what I came up with was an copy of the Digital Tradition transcription of the "spearmint" version of the song. I think Lonnie Donnegan changed more of the song than just adding the tin whistle line. Anybody know anything more about Lonnie's version?
And I certainly wouldn't refer to Lonnie Donnegan as rock 'n roll. Perhaps one would refer to him in Peter, Paul and Mary's words as a "nasty, unscrupulous modifier of folk songs." Of course, one could refer to PP&M that way, too....Harumpf.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 04:47 AM

As I remember it Lonnie Donnegan's style was known as skiffle and had a profound influence on later British groups such as the Beatles.

A couple of lines in the chewy song I remember differently:-

Up to the altar, just as steady as Gibraltar

Up to the President; to voice their discontent Upon the burning question what 'as swept this continent.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Bert
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 08:34 AM

"nasty, unscrupulous modifier of folk songs." Hrrmph! a lovely phrase but not strictly fair.

Actually what Lonnie Donnegan did (aside from making a lot of money) was to introduce a whole generation of Brits to the joys of American Folk Music. Which is more than you can say for P P & M, or the Lesser Lomax for that matter.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 09:17 AM

Alan of A had the line I couldn't remember. Since this is not really a folk song, and Lonnie Donnegan didn't change it all that much, I think he should be praised for pulling it out of the scrap heap and saving it for us.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 09:20 AM

Whoops, a <BR> turned into a <B>. This should fix it.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: rechal
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 02:28 PM

In One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, the book by Ken Kesey, the guy that Jack Nicholson played in the film version sings this song to the Indian. I seem to remember the chorus going like this:

Does your spearmint lose its flavor

On the bedpost overnight?

If you leave it there 'til morning

Will it be too hard to bite?

Can you catch it on your tonsils

Can you heave it left and right?

Does your spearmint lose its flavor

On the bedpost overnight?

The version I remember hearing on the Dr. Demento show referred to chewing gum, and had a few "call-back" verses after the final chorus:

(Chorus)

A dollar is a dollar and a dime is a dime

I'd sing another chorus but I 'aven't got the time!

That's the only one I remember.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Earl
Date: 03 Sep 97 - 05:18 PM

The other one was somthing like:

I love you and I need you and I want to hold you tight
Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday,Friday,Sat'day night

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 03:08 AM

THATwas the line I was trying to remember, Earl! As I recall, you sing the chorus at the end, up to "on the bed-post o-ver-..." and then go into "a dollar is a dollar, etc." then you go back to "on the bed-post o-ver-..." and do "I love you and I need you, etc." And then you come to a big finish. I did it in our church choir concert a few years back. Big hit.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 04:23 AM

Lordy, y'all. Ain't we done chaw'd all te joos outten this 'ere wad'git! Un t' thank I'uz te one wat stot id awl!

Have jus' uh iddy-biddy leddle ol' themble uh MERcy, fer te lan' SAKE! Git on off witcha!

Bye,now

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 04:41 AM

Take the gum out of your mouth when you're talking, willya, Shula? I can't quite understand you.....
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 05:23 AM

Joe,
If you have trouble with Shula's accent what about a poor old Aussie?

I hope you remembered the words in your church choir concert!

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 05:58 AM

Well, tarnation, fellers! A pore ol' gal jes' cain't hav'a lick'a fun no-how!

Happy trails,

Shula

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Shula
Date: 04 Sep 97 - 08:12 PM

Would like directions to any lyrics from "Forbidden Hollywood" or "Forbidden Broadway," by Gerard Allessandrini. Know these aren't "folk," but they are parodies. If this query doesn't belong in this forum, but someone knows where to find said lyrics, please send info. to my personal page.

Thanks ever so,

Shula

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DRUNK DRIVER (parody of 'Wild Rover')
From: Martin Ryan
Date: 05 Sep 97 - 06:48 AM

The Gardai/Guards are the Irish Police. One of their number just send me this version of "The Wild Rover":
(Hope the formatting works!):

THE DRUNK DRIVER

I've been a drunk driver for many's the year.
And I've spent all me money on whiskey 'n' beer,
But now the law's changed, boys. They've made life a drag
By giving the Gardai the use of the bag.

Chorus...

There once was a time, boys, when life was so good
That a driver could drink all the porter he could,
But now the law's changed, boys, so drivers beware.
Don't drive out yer car if yer tanked up on beer.

Chorus...

One night I was going away home from here
After drinking the most of a barrel of beer.
The eyesight was bad, 'cos the next thing I saw
Was a bloody great Escort, belonged to the Law.

Chorus...

They stopped me and asked me a question or two,
And they said that they thought I was after a few.
I said, "Ah, no, Sergeant, that cannot be so."
But he gave me the bag and he asked me to blow.

Chorus...

Well, I looked at the bag. Sure 'twas like a balloon.
"Here's a bag-pipes," says he. "Won't ye play us a tune?"
I blew in the bag, and sure, what do ye think?
Them crystals they turned to a queer shade of pink!

Chorus...

We went off to the station, a blood sample to get.
There wasn't a doctor so they sent for a Vet.
He couldn't be found, sure, and what could I do?
But to give 'em a sample of me how-do-ye-do!

Chorus

They threw me inside of a cell for the night,
And they let me go home when it came to daylight.
And now I am waiting for me case to come forth,
When I meet face to face with the judge in his Court.

CHORUS: And it's no nay never, no nay never no more
Will I drive a Range Rover, no never no more!

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: DrWord
Date: 05 Sep 97 - 02:43 PM

Lonnie's one other hit (here in Canada) besides "Chewing Gum" was "My Old Man's a Dustman" with several Cockney expressions. :) Dennis

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: GerryM
Date: 02 Sep 20 - 05:04 AM

Way upthread, at 19 Aug 97 - 06:46 PM, Barry Finn posted a parody of And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda, but couldn't remember who wrote the parody. It was Tony Miles, who also wrote Bloody Rotten Audience, which Eric Bogle recorded.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Sep 20 - 06:47 PM

I first heard "Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavo[u]r" sung lustily by a whole train car full of Girl Guides in Britain in 1959.

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: Joe Offer
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 06:57 PM

Elizabeth Block pointed out the YouTube channel of Shirley Serban, which has some delicious parodies:

https://www.youtube.com/user/shirleybnz

Subject: RE: Parody Folk Circle I
From: John C. Bunnell
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 08:18 PM

As long as this thread has come back to life, it may be a good moment to resurrect one or two sets of lyrics from my personal files (one of these years I will arm-wrestle my Web site into sufficient shape to put the whole archive up again, but today is not that day).

So.

The following was written in 2008, under pretty much the exact circumstances described in the opening verse.

THE ELLIPSE

words: John C. Bunnell © 2008
music: Flanders & Swann (“The Gnu Song”)

A week ago last Friday I was surfing on the Net,
Browsing Craigslist, RSS, and sundry blogs,
When a journal crossed my radar filled with writings rather odd
Praising zombies, selkies, plagues, and mutant frogs.

Now it happened on that morning grammar was the thing discussed;
In specific, punctuation was the theme.
There was talk of semicolons and of commas brought to life,
And I read, and had a most peculiar dream:

I'm an ellipse, I'm an ellipse; I elide and I emote with silent lips;
I'm an ellipse; I work for tips; watch me subtly and slowly sway my hips;
I'm an ellipse; that's three small pips
   (or sometimes four when someone's running out of quips);
I'm that soft and pregnant pause betwixt the yawning and the jaws . . .
I'm enormous, I'm eternal, I'm an ellipse!

Rather later, I had thought I'd quite recovered from the shock
That I'd had when that ellipse burst into song,
So I called up someone's manuscript to read and then critique
For the literary group where I belong.

I was halfway through the chapter, marking busily away,
Making comments, striking commas, and the like,
When my eyes began to water, and the screen began to blur,
And a voice inside my head took up the mike . . .

I'm an ellipse, another ellipse, and I'm not easy to evict or to eclipse;
I'm an ellipse, and nothing slips
   between a breath and its release like . . . an ellipse;
I'm an ellipse, just three small pips,
   and I'm entrenched in movie quotes and comic strips;
For I have style and panache, and far more uses than the dash . . .

I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!
I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!
I am evocative, essential, I'm an ellipse!