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BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle

Related threads:
Milko TV jingle (15)
Jingles you remember. (607)
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BS: Crest pledge of allegiance (10)


Big Mick 07 Sep 06 - 07:40 PM
GUEST 04 Sep 06 - 01:13 PM
GUEST 04 Sep 06 - 01:07 PM
robomatic 04 Sep 06 - 03:39 AM
Bunnahabhain 03 Sep 06 - 08:50 AM
Severn 02 Sep 06 - 06:43 PM
Alice 02 Sep 06 - 04:29 PM
frogprince 01 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM
GUEST,Bruce Baillie 01 Sep 06 - 09:55 AM
Richard Bridge 31 Aug 06 - 12:07 PM
Dave the Gnome 31 Aug 06 - 09:27 AM
Richard Bridge 30 Aug 06 - 08:04 PM
Donuel 30 Aug 06 - 10:42 AM
Charley Noble 30 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM
Rusty Dobro 30 Aug 06 - 07:33 AM
GUEST,282RA 29 Aug 06 - 09:46 PM
GUEST,True_Liberal 29 Aug 06 - 08:50 PM
BillR 10 Jul 02 - 12:47 AM
BillR 10 Jul 02 - 12:26 AM
GUEST,Ian Darby 09 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM
GUEST,ozmacca 09 Jul 02 - 09:58 PM
robomatic 09 Jul 02 - 07:30 PM
GUEST,toribw who should be working 09 Jul 02 - 02:47 PM
mack/misophist 09 Jul 02 - 11:17 AM
SharonA 09 Jul 02 - 10:09 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jul 02 - 10:06 AM
catspaw49 09 Jul 02 - 09:36 AM
Coyote Breath 09 Jul 02 - 09:30 AM
Mr Happy 09 Jul 02 - 06:19 AM
Chanteyranger 28 Apr 01 - 10:25 PM
Lonesome EJ 28 Apr 01 - 06:24 PM
GUEST,meadow Muskrat 28 Apr 01 - 05:50 PM
Dani 28 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM
tiggerdooley 28 Apr 01 - 04:40 PM
Uncle_DaveO 28 Apr 01 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 26 Apr 01 - 05:04 PM
SINSULL 26 Apr 01 - 02:27 PM
Long Firm Freddie 26 Apr 01 - 02:13 PM
Trapper 26 Apr 01 - 02:07 PM
GUEST,Mr Red @ Library 26 Apr 01 - 11:15 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 26 Apr 01 - 10:45 AM
Wavestar 26 Apr 01 - 10:07 AM
Giac@Brian's 26 Apr 01 - 09:14 AM
GUEST,LynnT 26 Apr 01 - 09:00 AM
Wavestar 26 Apr 01 - 08:09 AM
Crazy Eddie 26 Apr 01 - 07:34 AM
GUEST,D-hand 26 Apr 01 - 07:20 AM
Dan Calder 26 Apr 01 - 06:48 AM
GUEST,ddw who forgot to reset cookie 26 Apr 01 - 01:03 AM
Bert 26 Apr 01 - 12:58 AM

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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Sep 06 - 07:40 PM

Folks, I am going to shut this thread down for a few days. It has been targetted by spammers. I have deleted 11 lengthy posts today. I will open it again in a few days.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 01:13 PM

Cingular's wonderful..

MORE BARS IN MORE PLACES!!



Love,
Annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 01:07 PM

THE Peggy of Peggy Sue fame ran a drain clearing servis in Texas (or somewhere with a long drawling accent).

Johnathon Woss (UK TV lisper) rang her one day when he realised. And he asked here what the company was called - something like the Galvouston Drain Clearing Inc - to which Woss asked had she ever thought of calling it Peggy Sewarage............


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: robomatic
Date: 04 Sep 06 - 03:39 AM

In Anchorage:

Alaska Cleaners: Pants Half Off

On the road to Fairbanks:

Skinny Dick's Halfway Inn


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 03 Sep 06 - 08:50 AM

Most patronisinging and meaningless I've seen in a while:

          We
          are
   Londoners.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Severn
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 06:43 PM

The worst car name I can think of was the Ford Futura. I guess it's OK to buy one the first time, but who would ever want a used Futura.

There is/was a foreign soft drink called Pschitt that friend who was a diplomatic service brat had encountered somewhere in his travels. (One of the bottle caps from this product is displayed on one of the Holy Modal Rounders' records, which often featured rare and interesting cork backed caps caps from Peter Stampfel's collection.)

A hair product that was marketed briefly a long time ago, complete with a National TV campaign, was derived from the Yucca plant and called "Yucca-Doo". It didn't last long.

And, yes, we had the inevitable butcher with the "Our meat can't be beat!" slogan in our area.

When I used to go up to Rockport Maine, there were two local well drillers, one on either side of town. One was named Drinkwater and the other's name was Boggs. I don't know about you, but I know which one I'd probably patronize.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Alice
Date: 02 Sep 06 - 04:29 PM

Terrible tune to a company in Montana's jingle they play on tv and radio with OFF KEY singing (fingernails on a chalkboard)
"KLEEN KING, KLEEN KING we'll give your carpets the royal treatment." Yes, they spell clean... kleen.

The worst, a slogan in a graphic design company's yellow page ad - "We can shine a turd". YUK!


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM

At least Subaru dropped the line they were using for some time:
"Subaru, driven by what's inside"
As opposed to most cars, which are driven by someone hanging on outside and reaching in through the window?


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,Bruce Baillie
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 09:55 AM

...Now then folks I've got a great one here! I actually work in advertising as a graphic designer and a few years ago I had to do some artwork for a butchers shop who insisted on having the meaningless slogan, 'QUALITY IS THE TRUE TEST OF CHEAPNESS!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 12:07 PM

Yes, but it's the wrong way!

And it could be pronounsed Sif, Chif, or Kif (two bad meanings out of three aint bad)


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 09:27 AM

Aparantly Richard the change was to prevent confusion.

Jif could be ither Jif or Yif depending where you came from. Cif of course can only be pronounced one way...

:D


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 08:04 PM

In the UK there was a well known cream cleanser called "Jif".

The obvious implication was that it cleaned in a jif or jiffy - that is to say in a short period of time.

It has been re-named "Cif" (pronounced "sif").

"Sif", more properly spelt "Siph" or "Syph", is the colloquial diminutive for syphilis.

What genius names a cleaning product after a sexually transmitted disease?


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 10:42 AM

apply directly to the foreskin apply directly to the foreskin apply directly to the foreskin.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 09:55 AM

Oh, I think the current pain-relieving cream called "Head-On" wins hands down.

"Head-On! Head-On! Head-On!"

Repeated in a shrill penetrating voice, guaranteed to induce a headache.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 30 Aug 06 - 07:33 AM

On a curtain store's vehicle: 'The driver of this van is a blind man!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,282RA
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 09:46 PM

Membership has its rewards.

Especially when it doesn't have any.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,True_Liberal
Date: 29 Aug 06 - 08:50 PM

On a storefront in a beach town near Malaga, Spain: BAR AND DRIVING SCHOOL

Wendy's may have had some lack of market penetration in some neighborhoods - they needed a WHERE'S THE BEEF AT?? slogan.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: BillR
Date: 10 Jul 02 - 12:47 AM

This is Kayta borrowing BillR's cookie,

My favorite was a sign in a sporting good shop, saying "Now is the discount of our winter tents".

Kayta


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: BillR
Date: 10 Jul 02 - 12:26 AM

One of my current annoyances is a local (Oakland, CA) plumbing comany and their slogan:

Just Water Heaters Inc. "For All Your Plumbing Needs"

-Bill


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,Ian Darby
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 10:21 PM

I've posted this before..

Sign on the side of a van in London, obviously belonging to a firm of Asian building contractors.

'You've tried the Cowboys, now try the Indians.'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,ozmacca
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 09:58 PM

A few years back, out here in Oz, a TV celebrity (celebrity? - Oh my God!) named Jeannie Little did a whole series of TV ads for a chain of furniture stores. Her claim to fame was the catch-phrase, "Where do you get it?" delivered in an excrutiatingly shrill drawl, which put the teeth and nails on edge and make your ears shut down in self defence. The ads were the foundation for a whole career for the lady(?) featuring bad acting and a terrible accent. And it was her natural voice! I still shudder......

And those terrible old "K-Tel" ads where everything they made could slice, dice, cut, chop, julienne, mash, grind, and scale fish... even the LP records.

Or those cringingly bad ads with "Wait - there's more!" followed by promises of six steak knives. No wonder they have been parodied. The worst of the parodies is better than the best of the actual ads.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: robomatic
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 07:30 PM

From beautiful downtown Spenard:

"At Chilkoot Charlie's we rip off the OTHER guy and pass the savings on to you!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,toribw who should be working
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 02:47 PM

Couldn't resist this one...

At Kerrville Folk Festival this year, I saw one of the honey trucks (as they're called around here) cleaning out the toilets. On the truck beside the name of the company was a slogan proudly proclaiming:

"We're number one in the number two business."

Loved that!


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: mack/misophist
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 11:17 AM

I heard this on the radio ONCE, in Oklahoma in the mid 50's. I can't see it but it must be truly awful for me to have remembered it all these years. A Peggy Lee clone sang:

We're havin a heat wave
A tropical heat wave
For coolness and slumber
Just dial our number
Armor 04-04
It's Exoteric

It must be horrible but I don't understand why. PS. Phone numbers were shorter then.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: SharonA
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 10:09 AM

Dani mentioned the Krass Brothers, in Philadelphia PA. Ah, yes... "Krass Brothers Men's Store – Store of the Stars!" The scrawny little guy in the commercials was Ben Krass, who would point excitedly at the camera and shout in a shrill, heavily Philly-accented voice. Some examples of the low-comedy "bits" they did were: "If you didn't buy your suit from Krass Brothers, you're all wet!!!" whereupon Ben Krass would be doused with buckets of water... and "If you didn't buy your suit from Krass Brothers, you're chicken!!!" whereupon Ben Krass would have rubber chickens thrown at him... and "If you didn't buy your suit from Krass Brothers, you was robbed!!!" whereupon Ben Krass would be mugged by a Keystone Kops-style burglar. But the most tasteless of the ads was the one with Ben Krass lying in a coffin, then sitting up suddenly, pointing at the camera as usual and saying, "If you gotta go, go in a Krass Brothers suit!!!"

Still, he's a part of Philly TV history, and his weird commercials are memorialized on this "Broadcast Pioneers of Philadelphia" web page: http://broadcastpioneers.50g.com/krass.html The commercials themselves are a thing of the past, and Ben Krass is in his 80's; he announced this year that he's finally selling his business. It's the end of an era! *G*


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 10:06 AM

there's a kind of soft drink marketed in japan called 'sweat'.

its not to do with perspiration, i was told by japanese friends, its pronounced, 'sweet' [japanese english]


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 09:36 AM

If I hear that gawddam "Zoom-Zoom-Zoom" Mazda jingle one more time, I'm gonna' shoot my TV!

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 09:30 AM

Whooee! The idgits that makeup promos (I was one of them, I confess) REALLY need to see a thread like this.

My current LEAST favorite is the Hardee's comercial promoting their Philly cheese steak, loaded with onions. They show a young dumb guy drinking (not gargling) a huge bottle of mouthwash to kill the onion smell and closes with another young dumb guy spraying a whole can of air freshener into his mouth, AIR FRESHENER, not breath freshener. I did see a version that used breath freshener, though, later. I emailed Hardees and chastised them for showing someone doing something so very harmful as though it were OK! What if some little kid thinks it's alright to drink a bottle of mouthwash or, worse to fill his mouth (and probably his LUNGS) with air freshener! Up on the rez the kids use Lysol air freshener to get high, they call it a Cheyenne cocktail.

CB


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Mr Happy
Date: 09 Jul 02 - 06:19 AM

on rte [radio telefis eirrean: republic of ireland radio station]

there's rte radio 1 & rte radio 2

they used to have a jingle,

'radio 2, ireland's number one!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Chanteyranger
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 10:25 PM

There was a store in the East bay (San Francisco area) called "Linoleum Dick's."

Dharmabum, your list is priceless!

-chanteyranger


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 06:24 PM

When I was a teenager back in Kentucky, an insurance company ran this radio spot

(sound of churchbell) Bonggggg Bongggg (announcer's voice) The bell tolls to record yet another traffic death in our town, and to remind you that there's still time to make sure you are sufficiently insured before your time comes...Bongggg Bongggg

a real day-brightner that one.

And my current pet peeve slogan..."and that's when you realize - you're SO ready for IBM!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,meadow Muskrat
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 05:50 PM

The guy in the crazy Eddie commercials was a a ny area radio announcer named JERRY CAROL. He always referred to Crazy eddie in the 3rd person. The real crazy eddie never appeared in the commercials and had a heap of legal problems last I heard.Believe it or not a new Crazy Eddie is open in Wayne nj under a different ownership. For worst slogan,Bob's Stores probably payed some marketing genius a bundle to come up with "Come on down to Bob"s"


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Dani
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM

Oh, I sure remember Crazy Eddie. And the Krass Brothers? In Philadelphia: "If you don't buy your clothes from Krass Brothers ___________" fill in the blank. They'd yell at you, and I can remember my dad turning the tv off (pre-remote and mute!).

How about, "My baloney has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R..."?

Dani


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 04:40 PM

Do any UK Mudcatters remember the Kwiksave Off Licence advert, complete with animated 'merry' reindeer and 'tipsy' Santa:

'Do yourself a favour,
Be a LiquorSaver'

'LiqourSave at Kwiksave!'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 28 Apr 01 - 11:55 AM

Melani said:

My favorite Oakland, CA business was "George's Chinese-American Smorgasbord". I guess after a while George Lee, the owner, realized that was a little odd, so he changed it to "George's Chinese-American Hofbrau". Much better.

Here in Indianapolis, a new restaurant just opened, called "Chinese Bistro". Same syndrome.

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 05:04 PM

Matt - Yeah. They're using sex to sell milk. Amazing, isn't it? Personally, I have never found milk to be even remotely sexy. In fact it makes me feel slightly nauseous when I taste it.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:27 PM

lYNN - dO YOU REMEMBER WHY THEY USED sHATNER IN THE FIRST PLACE? tHE AD STARTED WITH HIM BELLOWING ON ABOUT THE NIAGARA FRONTIER. dAMN cAPSLOCK just for old time's sake.

Another annoying oldie is "Cupid's Quiver". This was a line of flavored douches including champagne. I really miss the 60s.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:13 PM

I saw a gang of labourers clearing the vegetation by the side of the M20 motorway. The name of their firm was on the side of their van: Gorse Busters!

LFF


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Trapper
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:07 PM

In Park Rapids Minnesota, there's the "CEASE FUNERAL PARLOR"....

- Al


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,Mr Red @ Library
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:15 AM

In Hong Kong would you cash your travellers' cheques at
Monye Excahnge
? - I didn't that's fer sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 10:45 AM

I've posted this observation to another thread recently, but, what the hell!
I pass Tittenhurst each day on the way to work (it is a large estate, once owned by Thomas Holloway of Victorian quack remedy fame, without whom I would have nowhere to work,later by John Lennon then by Ringo Starr and currently by a middle eastern potentate).
Oh, do get on with it, Roger
There is always building going on there and I frequently follow a sludge gulper which sevices the builders' portaloos.
It bears the firm's name "Chamberpots" and the proud slogan Number One in the Number Twos Business
RtS (I suppose it could have said: "Where there's muck, there's brass,but, hey, this isAscot, you know!)


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Wavestar
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 10:07 AM

err, subjunctive. My fingers type without askign the brain what they are about.

-J


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Giac@Brian's
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 09:14 AM

A regional (southern U.S.) hamburger chain is running a TV campaign that features a singing/dancing biscuit (for godsake!). In the first series, the biscuit is in the shower singing while I envision soggy, soapy breakfast bread.

"I'm a walkin', talkin' biscuit, but you can call me B-eeeeeee."

And to think I used to like their food.


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,LynnT
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 09:00 AM

Great stuff, folks!

Post-Star Trek but pre-Hooker, Bill Shatner used to do commercials for a Canadian grocery store chain called Loblaw's (the owner was, of course, Robert Loblaw, known as "Bob Loblaw" to his friends -- try saying that name aloud). At any rate, the chain's slogan was "It's Mainly Because of the Meat!" Can't you just see ol' Kirk emoting that?

Lynn


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Wavestar
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 08:09 AM

My current irritation is one for Egypt (as in, Go to Egypt! not, Buy Egypt.) that says over and over again, "I wish I was..." in blah de blah, finishing with the very profound, "I wish I was in Egypt." I spend the entire run of the commercial screaming at the television, 'WERE! I wish I WERE in Egypt! Subjective! Subjective!"

But okay, that's just me, anal in funny little ways. But you woulf think that if you're paying that much to put commercials on in an English speaking country, you'd get the grammar right?

-J


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 07:34 AM

Sinsull, on September 29, you posted
"The worst ever was "Crazy Eddie" " And that's the deal!" with arms up, sweaty armpits out, and a large beer belly beneath a SMALL T-SHIRT.
I resemble that remark!
Well, I admit to the beer-belly, but I don't remember shouting at you on Christmas Eve, & I NEVER wear small T-shirts.

Remember the Carpenters song "(Just like me, they long to be) Close to You"?
I am now bombarded, by some shopping mall, with: "Just like you, they long to be, in Abu Dhabi"
They pronounce Abu Dhabi as "Aboo Dhab-eeeeeeeeeeee" to get the rhyme.
It is not funny, but it is starting to give me the screaming ab-dabs! (We have a pretty limited selection of English language radio stations)
Note to self: "Self, remember to put some tapes in the car"!


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,D-hand
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 07:20 AM

A local barber has this sign in his window: 'We need your head for our business'


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Dan Calder
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 06:48 AM

A car radiator repair shop in Moncton, New Brunswick:

"The Best Place In Town To Take A Leak."


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: GUEST,ddw who forgot to reset cookie
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:03 AM

that last post was mine — just so Matt R would know who to direct his disagreement to.....

david


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Subject: RE: BS: Candidates for WORST ad slogan/jingle
From: Bert
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:58 AM

Not that it's THAT bad but has anyone seen the new Toyota ad with the incandescent pickle? Amos!! where are you??


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