Heroine Barbarian

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 09:36 AM

Nice one Starship - right up with Con Fada and Adam McNaughtan

Don't know about 'heroine' but there are plenty of songs about Thatcher

Jim Carroll

Subject: Lyr Add: THE SONG OF XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS!
From: GUEST,Starship
Date: 06 Mar 20 - 08:07 AM

Copied in case the originating site goes bye-bye.

https://zdrowcab.livejournal.com/11021.html


THE SONG OF XENA, WARRIOR PRINCESS! By Kevin Wald

XENA: Yes, yes, I am a buff barbarian [The orchestra starts up.]

I am the very model of a heroine barbarian;
Through Herculean efforts, I've become humanitarian,
I ride throughout the hinterland - at least that's what they call it in
Those sissy towns like Athens, (I myself am Amphipolitan).
I travel with a poet who is perky and parthenian
And scribbles her hexameter in Linear Mycenaean
(And many have attempted, by a host of methods mystical,
to tell if our relationship's sororal or Sapphistical).

CHORUS: To tell if their relationship's sororal or Sapphistical!
To tell if their relationship's sororal or Sapphistical!
To tell if their relationship's sororal or Sapphisti-phistical!

XENA: My armory is brazen, but my weapons are ironical;
My sword is ithyphallic, but my chakram's rather yonical
(To find out what that means you have to study Indo-Arian).
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

CHORUS: To find out what that means, we'll have to study Indo-Arian.
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

XENA: I wake up every morning, ere the dawns is rhododactylous
(Who needs to wait for daylight? I just work by sensus tactillis.)
And ride into the sunrise to protect some local villagers
From mythologic monsters or from all too human pillagers.
I hurtle t'wards each villain with a reckless ebullient
And cow him with my sword work and my alalaes ululient;
He's frightened for his head because he knows I'm gonna whack it - he's
Aware that his opponent is the Basileia Makhetes!

[The music crashes to a halt, as the chorus stares at Xena in utter confusion. She sighs.] It's Greek. It
means "Warrior Princess"! [Light dawns on the chorus and the music resumes.] Sheesh...

CHORUS: He knows that his opponent is the Basileia Markhetes!
He knows that his opponent is the Basileia Markhetes!
He knows that his opponent is the Basileia Markhe-makhetes!

XENA: Because I've got my armor, which is really rather silly, on
It's cut so low I feel like I'm topless tow'rs of Ilion,
(And it isn't any use against attackers Sagittarian)
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

CHORUS: It isn't any use against attackers Sagittarian
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

XENA: In short, when I can tell you how I break the laws of gravity,
And why my togs expose my intermammary concavity,
And why my comrade changed her dress from one that fit more comfily
To one that shos her omphalos (as cute as that of Omphale),
And why the tale of Spartacus appears in Homer's versicon, [she holds up a tomato]
And where we found examples of genus Lycopersicon,
And why the Grecian scenery looks more like the Antipodes,
You'll say I'm twice the heroine of any of Euripides'!

CHORUS: We'll say she's twice the heroine of any of Euripides'!
We'll say she's twice the heroine of any of Euripides'!
We'll say she's twice the heroine of any of Euripi-ripides'!

XENA: But though the kinked chronology, confusing and chimerical
(It's often unhistorical, but rarely unhysterical),
Would give a massive heart attack to any antiquarian,
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

CHORUS: 'Twould give a massive heart attack to any antiquarian -
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Haruo
Date: 04 Mar 20 - 11:53 PM

Richard Mellish, I agree the footnotes are a big part of the song, and I supplied everybody at the Song Circle with a song sheet that had them. You need both, the music and the footnotes.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: John C. Bunnell
Date: 03 Mar 20 - 09:19 PM

Per my filk sources:

There appear to have been multiple recordings made, some more formally than others:

One source mentions an album ascribed to Wald himself (Among Friends), wherein "Heroine Barbarian" appears as performed by a group called On the Mark. Another mentions a recording, possibly of a convention or house song circle, included among material uploaded to the Zooniverse research site for identification. (A brief glance at Zooniverse doesn't find a matching project, but that's not necessarily surprising given the relative time frame.)

I'll continue to keep an eye out for further prospects.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: John C. Bunnell
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 10:49 AM

"Heroine Barbarian" made a sizeable splash in the filk community following its original appearance, and at that time there were a couple of micro-publishers that regularly released albums compiled from song circles at larger science fiction conventions (and the early filk conventions themselves). I think that's the likeliest source of a recorded "Heroine Barbarian", but it will take some checking to see when and on which cassette that might have appeared. [Yes, I said "cassette", that being the practical indie media of the period in question.]

Let me just go ping one of my other mailing lists....

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Richard Mellish
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 04:30 AM

I am inclined to think that this is better in writing, where one can read the footnotes, than sung, when some of the references could whizz by too fast to be appreciated.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 12:13 AM

I have lots of cassette tapes and CDs that John Dwyer picked up at events all through Western Washington, BC, Canada, and down into Oregon. If you come up with a little more information maybe I can find something in the shelves here. Where is Kevin Wald? Is he in the Pacific NW and would the group be local, or do you have to search further afield? (I also have a lot of tapes of the Seattle Song Circle sessions he attended.)

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Haruo
Date: 10 Feb 20 - 11:18 PM

Yesterday I sang this at Seattle Song Circle (along with another more recent parody in which the Major General has switched careers and is now an opinionated Historical Linguist). It went over well. I emailed the author, Kevin Wald, and asked if there was a recording of it that could go on YouTube or wherever. He replied, There was a folk-singing group that recorded it (and I got a tape of their recording), but that was over twenty years ago and I'd have to do some digging to see if I even have the recording any more, or even what they were called. So now I'm wondering if anybody here might know of that recording and how it might be located.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jun 01 - 05:48 PM

One of my favorite folksingers, Patrick Sky, did an absolutely great rendition of "Modern Major General"....frailing banjo and all. It was also hilarious!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 09 Jun 01 - 05:39 PM

I think Gilbert would have loved this one.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Haruo
Date: 08 Jun 01 - 07:36 PM

A couple days ago I added a MIDI of "Modern Major General" to my Heroine Barbarian page.

Liland

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Troll
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 11:55 PM

C'mon back Wyo. It was startin' to get interestin'. Where is thisyer Mount Production anyhow? An' what were you gonna show who?

troll

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: WyoWoman
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 09:33 PM

I absolutely LOVE this. I want to mount this production!!!

I mean ... you know, like mount a production ... like ... put on a show ... like ...

nivver mind

ww

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: MMario
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 09:28 PM

Maureen is one of my favorite fictional people!

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: Naemanson
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 09:23 PM

Xena's all right but she doesn't hold a candle, er, sword, to MAUREEN BIRNBAUM, BARBARIAN SWORDSPERSON!

And if you hven't read those stories, you haven't read fantasy SF.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: bflat
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 08:54 PM

Rather, Ode to be a Heroine Barbarian.

Subject: RE: Heroine Barbarian
From: bflat
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 08:51 PM

This is quite good. G&S were geniuses. Anyone who can work with their meter is likely one too. Oh to be a Heroine Barbarian!!!

bflat

Subject: Heroine Barbarian
From: GUEST,Liland
Date: 03 Oct 00 - 08:41 PM

I realize Gilbert & Sullivan isn't really blues & folk, but then Xena isn't really Greek mythology, either! But Kevin Wald's Heroine Barbarian is still hilarious, if one's tastes run to multipurpose, highbrow parodies.

Liland