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BS: Why?
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Subject: Why? From: Bernard Date: 16 Oct 00 - 06:48 PM Why... ...is 'dyslexia' so difficult to spell? ...is 'abbreviation' such a long word? ...is there no other word for 'thesaurus'? ...did kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: mousethief Date: 16 Oct 00 - 06:53 PM 1. It's not. 2. So you can practice doing it on itself. 3. There is. 4. In case they hit their heads before they hit their targets.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST,Kernow Jon Date: 16 Oct 00 - 07:02 PM My lad once got detention at school 'cos when asked what a simile was he replied " a happy dyslexic". Some teachers got no sense of humour! KJ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Dharmabum Date: 16 Oct 00 - 07:07 PM Have you noticed that nostalgia ain't what it used to be? DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Zebedee Date: 16 Oct 00 - 07:10 PM Bernard, If you wish me to give you the definitions and history of the words 'dyslexia,' 'abbreviation' and 'thesauraus' I will. I could also give you various synonyms for 'thesauraus' I have to say that such banal humour from you is a tad disappointing. Mind you, I expect you could say a lot worse about me. Zeb |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Oct 00 - 08:04 PM Nice try anyway Bernard........So........ How come when you bounce a check, the bank charges you more of something they already know you ain't got none of? Why do they have locks on the doors of those 24 hour shoot-n-scoot stores? How come you PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE on a PARKWAY? Why do they have mailboxes in front of the Post Office? You're there! Why do they have Braille symbols on the machines at the Drive-Up Bankcard machines? And why do they have those signs that say "No Dogs EXCEPT Guide Dogs Allowed"??? Who's supposed to read them? Why do we need 75 euphemisms for "fuck?" Why is euphemism a euphemism? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 16 Oct 00 - 08:33 PM Why not? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 16 Oct 00 - 08:34 PM You all need to go a little easy on Bernard. He just got back from Llanstock. I think the Spirits of the Welsh hills and mountains cast a spell on those who were there. They've all come back sounding a little dazed. Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Sorcha Date: 16 Oct 00 - 09:35 PM Just Because |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Matt_R Date: 16 Oct 00 - 09:45 PM Because we like you...M-O-U-S-E |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Ebbie Date: 16 Oct 00 - 10:28 PM Welcome back! (??) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Oct 00 - 10:40 PM I assume you're referring to Kotter Ebbie.......Not being direct and subtle can have virtue you know? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 16 Oct 00 - 11:37 PM When your memory goes, forget it. Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Cap't Bob Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:04 AM Well er.... I don't know but sounds like REVERSE DEJA VEU to me. Cap't Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: hesperis Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:40 AM Hey, Spaw...it's "fuck" that is the euphemism. It's used in place of countless other common, more appropriate and more specific words. I know people for whom "fuck" comprises at least 30% of their usable vocabulary...mind you, I usually don't know them too intimately.... There are at least 75 common usages for "fuck" in this town, and this is only Orillia, Ontario, Canada (lest you all forget...). Every brick wall in this town has "fuck off" or "fuck you" written on it by some local lamebrain @$$hole with too much time on his hands. As to the original 4 questions...dyslexia may be hard to spell, but so are solipsism and dilettanteism, and I don't hear anyone bitching about that...fuck is very easy to spell, which is probably why it's so popular with the local losers hereabouts. Abbreviation is such a long word...because it is made up of 12 letters. Unlike duh, which has only 3. There is another word for thesaurus...it's "monokletaciousincompendiumatipede"...now you know why they use thesaurus instead! Kamikaze pilots wore helmets, and other normal gear because all that stuff assists one in flying the plane under combat conditions...for instance, there may be some fire, shrapnel or small explosions in the cockpit, while the plane still remains flyable...the helmet and goggles will considerably assist the pilot in maintaining his normal vision and other sense under those conditions, thus allowing him to hopefully continue flying the plane long enough to dive accurately into his chosen target. Or as George Bush, Sr. would say..."Gotcha!"
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:45 AM Little Hawk, get the hell off my computer! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:46 AM So what do you say? I agree that fuck is a euphemism, but anybody who says, "Let us indulge in sexual congress," has never fucked! Just curious. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:50 AM ....OOOOPPPPSS!!! This really is LH this time. Spaw, I commend you on your sense of restraint. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Oct 00 - 12:59 AM How about, "Let's make love." ??? I think that one of the things that is wrong with the US Congress, actually, is not enough sex...out front, I mean, in the open...there is no doubt plenty happening behind the scenes! :-) "Make love, not war" sounds a whole lot better than "Fuck, don't fight".
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 01:06 AM Make Love huh? Sounds about as thrilling as make supper and probably just about as exciting. Try not to go for the intercourse thing either....completely clinical.sterile/white bread. Also "sleep with" is absurd. I dunno though...maybe YOU can fuck while you're asleep or maybe your PARTNER falls asleep.....not my idea of a good fuck though. And if you want to have "Carnal Knowledge" (knowing or knowledge of the meat), then have a serious talk with your butcher. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: The Shambles Date: 17 Oct 00 - 02:42 AM Why is that cartoon cow, (complete with large and dangling udders), who goes by the name of ---- Heffer, on those Boddington's beer ads, portrayed as a beer swilling, girl chasing macho 'man'??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Oct 00 - 03:44 AM Why is there only one Monopolies Commission? RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Oct 00 - 03:49 AM I still say that "make love, not war" sounds better. I have "made love" to people who would melt the paint off your Harley, Spaw. :-) Fucking, on the other hand, sounds like something you would do with a Harley to me, rather than with another human being...but I guess it's all just a question of taste or past experience with usage of language or something. They don't "fuck" in Elfquest for example...they "join" or "make love"...but this doesn't stop them from being very erotic, in my view. I do agree that calling it "intercourse" is horrifyingly bland, and calling it "sleep with" is ridiculous, so I guess we are in accord on those terms, at least. Mind you, sleeping with someone you love is quite a joy in itself, aside from the sex. Now, mind you, if the female in question wants to call it "fucking", I don't mind...it's just not the word that first comes to my mind, that's all. Maybe I grew up more sheltered or something. I was, after all, a hopeless romantic in my youth. Now I'm a romantic, period. LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 03:57 AM LH, no matter how much or how deeply you love your partner, sleeping with someone who snores, kicks their leg all night, drools prodigiously, flops from side to side, and farts in their sleep, IS NOT A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE. Karen can tell you that as she has had a lot of firsthand experience sleeping with someone like that. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Oct 00 - 04:05 AM ARRRRGGHHH!!! I get your point, Spaw. What a stunningly graphic description...I especially like the "drools prodigiously" part! "Prodigious" is such a great word. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 17 Oct 00 - 04:22 AM "Fucking" is fun, some of the time, if you're in the right kind of mood. My best experiences, however, cannot be adequately described. And there is no word or combination of words that can be appropriately applied to them. Spaw, did you ever see the "Cocoon" movies? Do you remember the scene when Steve Guttenberg is on the opposite side of the pool from Raquel Welch's daughter, who is playing one of the aliens? Remember all of the beautiful light/energy she sends shooting around the room, and then into Steve Guttenberg? Well it's just like that, only with touching and the good physical bits as well, and the energy part goes both ways. But you wouldn't know what it was like unless you experienced it. Watching it in a movie doesn't do it justice. Best of all possible worlds. I've only met two men who could do that with me though. The rest of them just "fucked". Carol (who really seems to be letting it all hang out tonight) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: kendall Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:33 AM I remember he said "If this is foreplay, I'm a dead man!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:51 AM LH,re:your last sentence..... to many a period is NOT "romantic", |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:55 AM (*grin*) Yeah, but he had a really big smile on his face when he said it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:56 AM My last was to kendall |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: paddymac Date: 17 Oct 00 - 07:33 AM This all sounds like an antidisestablishmentarianist plot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST Date: 17 Oct 00 - 08:44 AM Hopefully at least one of those men is still in your life, CarolC. A woman can find a man to screw her (if that's all she wants) just about anytime, anywhere. But I would think the experience you describe must encompass all levels of intimacy besides the physical one. Finding someone with whom you can share a mutually intense, intimate and enduring passion is becoming a rare thing. Yet that's supposed to be a big part of what "it" is all about. Either the standards and expectations got higher or the odds of finding a soulmate got lower. Maybe both. Those who find bliss by losing themselves in another person, the one to whom they willingly and unconditionally surrender everything, come as close as two people can come to becoming one person. They redefine their "I" in terms of "We." They are truly blessed. They have won the lottery, climbed Mount Everest, discovered the Fountain of Youth, found the meaning of life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:10 AM LH, and Carol....I am so taken with your thoughts on romance and the beauty with which the Guest describes it too. What would you suggest to bring such a feeling into life? Perhaps meeting the right person or some counselling? Any good books on the subject? How can I gain more insight? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:17 AM Beautiful. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: katlaughing Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:31 AM Oh, fuck, Spaw! If everyone did a little homework, reading some of the old threads, they'd find out just how much you do know about the *magic of love* with a good fuck in between. Instead of fucking with the newbies why don't you come on out back to the faerie garden with me and we'll clean up all that litter you've been spreading around.**BG** katlaughingthegoodtwin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: John P Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:40 AM Sometimes we fuck, sometimes we make love. It just depends on what mood we're in. Making love is always a lot more intense, but fucking has it's moments. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: John P Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:45 AM To get back to the subject matter that started this thread: What cruel person decided to put an "s" in the word lisp? Is there another word for synonym? Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Kim C Date: 17 Oct 00 - 09:54 AM I sorta liked "sexual congress." Sounds very Victorian. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Mrrzy Date: 17 Oct 00 - 10:44 AM Anyone remember the old saw - DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD, UNTIE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: mousethief Date: 17 Oct 00 - 02:51 PM I see nobody is trying to answer these so I'd better step up to the plate. How come when you bounce a check, the bank charges you more of something they already know you ain't got none of? Because if they didn't you'd bounce checks a lot more often. Why do they have locks on the doors of those 24 hour shoot-n-scoot stores? Because they're not open forever. Sometimes they close (e.g. if one has a fire, or goes into receivership). How come you PARK in a DRIVEWAY and DRIVE on a PARKWAY? You also drive on a driveway. You must drive onto it in order to park on it. It's a DRIVEWAY because it's (generally) the only part of your yard you actually drive on. A Parkway has nothing to do with parking but rather with parks, which are nice open places with trees and grass and playground equipment. Parkways (in the olden days) had a strip of park-like grass-n-trees-n-stuff in between their two halves. Why do they have mailboxes in front of the Post Office? You're there! So you don't have to go inside. Duh. Why do they have Braille symbols on the machines at the Drive-Up Bankcard machines? Because it's cheaper to only make one kind of machine than to have a special one WITHOUT braille just for the drive-up, to please pundits. And why do they have those signs that say "No Dogs EXCEPT Guide Dogs Allowed"??? Who's supposed to read them? People who can see, and have dogs that aren't seeing eye dogs, and might be tempted to bring them inside. Duh. Why do we need 75 euphemisms for "fuck?" Because we're polite and civilized, and "fuck" was made unacceptable by the French Normans slightly after 1066. Why is euphemism a euphemism? It isn't. What is it a euphemism for, if it's a euphemism? What cruel person decided to put an "s" in the word lisp? Words for the most part are not invented but rather inherited. Is there another word for synonym? No. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? Because it's cheaper to only make one kind of needle - sterilized - than to make a special kind of needle - unsterilized - just for one use, and a fairly uncommon one at that. Why do people think cutesy rhetorical questions are funny? I don't know.
Always glad to help, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 03:12 PM Completely unsatisfactory on all counts MT. You are obviously rooted much too deep in reality and practical hard fact. And I can equally suppose your shorts are too tight. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: mousethief Date: 17 Oct 00 - 03:21 PM No it's just that my sense of humor doesn't go in for cutesly rhetorical questions, the answers to most of which are so blindingly obvious they're not even cutesy, just stupid. Obviously I'm not the only person who thinks this is a lame form of humor, to judge by the posts here. Just because I think one form of humor is stupid doesn't mean I think they all are, or that I have no sense of humor at all, which can be seen (sometimes) in things I post in other threads, or by visiting my website. Actually my shorts are far too loose. It bugs me how they start out nice and supportive when you put them on in the morning, but by late afternoon they're all dangly and baggy. If I wanted my balls blowing in the breeze I'd buy f***ing boxers.
Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 17 Oct 00 - 04:03 PM Guest...Nope, they're all gone. Spaw, when I read your post, because of some of the things I've read from you in the past about your marriage, I was wondering if you were serious. kat/katlaughing's post reinforces my question. Were you being serious? Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: katlaughing Date: 17 Oct 00 - 04:15 PM Spaw, I think our tongues had better come out of our cheeks; people are starting to believe us!**BG** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: catspaw49 Date: 17 Oct 00 - 05:54 PM Carol....I was being equally as serious as I was with the rhetorical questions. I guarantee you will find no one more in love than Karen and I. The story of how we met and what has happened since is pretty well known here, but I was just having a little fun and I am sorry if I offended you.....really! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: SDShad Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:04 PM Okay...why is there an expiration date on sour cream? Off to the unsterilized needle factory, Chris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:06 PM I'm not offended, Spaw. I just didn't want to answer your question until I knew if you were serious. I felt that if you were serious, the question deserved an answer. However, I like to limit the number of occassions when I make myself look foolish as much as I can. (A difficult job, I know.) Thanks for responding. Carol
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: mousethief Date: 17 Oct 00 - 06:29 PM Shad, if you'd ever seen sour cream after it's gone bad, you'd never ask that question. It's truly disgusting!
Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: GUEST Date: 17 Oct 00 - 10:10 PM Well, that's a shame, but life does seem to be about losing. There's some big milestones in there along the way, culminating in the end with losing life itself. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 17 Oct 00 - 11:39 PM Why would somebody read through 39 posts if he found this sort of humor to be "lame", and then attempt to systematically dissect it in a post longer than the majority of posts on this lame thread? Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: katlaughing Date: 18 Oct 00 - 12:38 AM Good question, Rich, best I've seen on here so far. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Peter Kasin Date: 18 Oct 00 - 12:51 AM Spaw: fuck = congress. Very appropriate, eh? By the way: If nothing sticks to teflon, how do they get teflon to stick to the pan?
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: John P Date: 18 Oct 00 - 08:47 AM If con is the opposite of pro, what is the opposite of progress? -Mark Twain |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: katlaughing Date: 18 Oct 00 - 10:32 AM The opposite of progress is Congress! - kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Bill D Date: 18 Oct 00 - 11:09 AM "Why, oh why, oh why, oh why, Why, oh why, oh why? Because, because, because, because Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye" Woodie Guthrie "A word to the wise...even a euphemism...is sufficient" Bill D |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Tony in Sweden Date: 18 Oct 00 - 11:58 AM Why is it that, when you buy evaporated milk, when you open it, it's always full?
Who discovered that we get milk from cows? mvh T.C. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: The Shambles Date: 18 Oct 00 - 01:16 PM Why, that brings us back to that Boddington's cow. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 18 Oct 00 - 09:48 PM OK, I was flipping around on the tube this evening and there was a special on how bad the paparazzi are for stalking celebrities, invding privacy etc. I'm not arguing with this, I agree. Now the program was full of footage of people who didn't want to be filmed. So where did the people putting on the documentary get the footage? Now that's a rhetorical question, but wouldn't that make them the very evil they are trying to expose? Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: CarolC Date: 18 Oct 00 - 11:06 PM Bill D, I know what you mean. It's been a while since I had a good euphemism. Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: The Shambles Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:16 PM Rich I am reminded of a video clip of Cher. She was out for a (low key) ride on her Harley, with the full designer gear on. black leather and shades, the whole bit.
She parked the bike and stormed over to tell the chap off for invading her privacy? All the time she was telling him off, he kept filming and was just about wetting himself with joy. You could her him keep saying to himself, " I would have paid for this". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:25 PM As a matter of fact, I have wanted to invade Cher's privacy for years... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Why? From: Biskit Date: 19 Oct 00 - 02:52 PM I agree with John P., shouldn't it be spelled LITHP??? -Biskit- |