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Lyr Req: Queen of Cheese (James McIntyre)

Little Hawk 22 Oct 00 - 01:38 AM
Bob Bolton 22 Oct 00 - 02:06 AM
Malcolm Douglas 22 Oct 00 - 12:56 PM
Hotspur 22 Oct 00 - 05:53 PM
Little Hawk 22 Oct 00 - 07:46 PM
Bob Bolton 22 Oct 00 - 10:24 PM
Malcolm Douglas 22 Oct 00 - 11:19 PM
CarolC 24 Oct 00 - 11:38 PM
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Subject: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 01:38 AM

It's the poem that starts:

We have seen thee, Queen of Cheese
Lying quietly at your ease
Gently fanned by evening breeze
Thy fair form no flies dare sieze

I need the rest of the words...can't find 'em anywhere.

Can anyone help? The guy who wrote it was an astonishingly bad poet who attained considerable fame in the 19th century precisely because he wrote such bad poetry. People bought it to laugh at it. Anybody remember who he was?


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 02:06 AM

G'day Little Hawk,

Your description: an astonishingly bad poet who attained considerable fame in the 19th century precisely because he wrote such bad poetry sounds distinctly like William McGonagall, (died in Edinburgh 1902). Unfortunately, The Queen of Cheese is not in Poetic Gems, the collection on my bookshelves.

McGonagall was much admired by Spike Milligan, the quintessential Goon - and McGonagall was rated as the "World's Worst Poet" in The Book of Heroic Failures".

Best of luck with these words - I shall await them with bated breath.

Regards,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 12:56 PM

The Queen of Cheese, by the Canadian poet James McIntyre, Musings on the Banks of Canadian Thames, including poems on local, Canadian and British subjects, and lines on the great poets of England, Ireland, Scotland and America, with a glance at the wars in Victoria's reign (Ingersoll: H. Rowland, 1884): may be found at  UTEL  (University of Toronto English Library):  Ode On The Mammoth Cheese, Weighing Over 7,000 Pounds

ODE ON THE MAMMOTH CHEESE, WEIGHING OVER 7,000 POUNDS

[James McIntyre (1827-1906)]

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd caste a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

Malcolm


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Hotspur
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 05:53 PM

There's also the famed Cheese Song from the Sterling Forest Renfaire:

Cheese, cheese, cheese Won-der-ful cheese Bees don't like cheese But I love cheese.

Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar In any kind of wedder There's simply nothing bedder Cause I love cheddar.

Add equally bad verses ad libitum.


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 07:46 PM

Har! Har! Wonderful...

It just gets worse and worse
Verse by turgid verse
The very gods would weep
Or else they'd fall asleep

Thank you, Malcolm Douglas, I am in your debt!!!

I think it would be fun to see if any of us Mudcatters can actually write poetry this bad...could be fun, don't you think?

Maybe I'll launch a thread...


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 10:24 PM

G'day Malcolm,

I think your James McIntyre could be a dark horse to unseat William McGonagall! (Oh! The umplumbed depths of Victorian heroic poetry!)

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 22 Oct 00 - 11:19 PM

It's truly dreadful, isn't it!  I'd never come across McIntyre till Little Hawk started this thread, but the poem sounded so ghastly that I just had to have a look for it, and I was not disappointed.  Perhaps somebody should set a tune for it; it would need to be Victorian Grandiose, I should think...

Malcolm


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Subject: RE: Queen of Cheese - got the words?
From: CarolC
Date: 24 Oct 00 - 11:38 PM

Malcolm Douglas, you are my hero.

Carol


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