BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2

Subject: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: MK
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:16 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?


VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.


GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.


SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.


SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.


RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.


PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: MK
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:25 AM

Part 1 is here.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: ddw
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 01:05 AM

This (including the original thread) has been an educational read. For all these year's I've labored under the misconception that the chicken crossed the road TO PROVE TO THE RACCOONS IT COULD BE DONE.

david

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 07:34 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she was tired of Waiting for Godot.

She had to. She was stapled to the punk-rockers ear.

For reasons of her own.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: P05139
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 08:44 AM

To get to the Birds Eye shop?

So she could give all hedgehogs a one finger salute?

She was bored?

Just for fun?

She was stupid?

She was going for her Road-crossing Proficiency test?

Another variant on this joke is 'Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his/her flatmate!'

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 08:59 AM

Watch the hedgehog jokes. I like hedgehogs. My Grand mother was a hedgehog

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: P05139
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 09:00 AM

Sorry Troll! I like them too! They're well cute.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 09:00 AM

Lost something. That should have read,"My Grandmother was a hedgehog lover as well. She had several nice recipies for them."

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: MMario
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 09:45 AM

aw, troll, liked it better when it read your grandmother was a hedgehog.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Kim C
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 09:45 AM

That all depends on what your definition of chicken is.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:06 PM

Ever comb your hair with a hedgehog? It's a scream!

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:20 PM

Not bad , youngster. Not bad.
Now. Aren't you due in class?

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Matt_R
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:24 PM

Nope! Not till 2pm!

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:37 PM

My guess, Matt, is that it would be more fun for you than for the hedgehog...

Now, the chicken.

It is my belief, after long and judicious consideration, that the chicken crossed the road....in one sense, merely to get to the other side, but that only begins to answer the question, and only in the most superficial sense. The real answer may be approached by giving consideration to the deep underlying malaise of our times, that sense of disconnection and rootlessness that has sprung up in the wake of the nuclear family, the 2-car garage, the TV and the Nintendo game. Indeed, the chicken crossed the road precisely because of that sense of disease that leads one to believe that "the grass is greener on the other side", when in fact it may not be. The only way to find out, however, is to look, and a mere look may not be enough. It may be necessary to actually take off one's shoes (not a problem for a chicken) and do a full scale wallow in the grass on the other side in order to become fully appraised of its relative merits vis-a-vis the grass on the first side, if you follow me. There are, of course, hazards involved in "crossing the road", such as getting run over. The chicken may never make it. Only the bold, clearly are willing to challenge the status quo and risk all by pressing on, despite the dangers involved, not least of which is ostracism by those who would prefer to simply perk or simmer in their chosen pot of indifference and conformity. Let us hope that the chicken does indeed make it across, and confronts the full reality of the "other side" with all its possibilities of both heartbreak and redemption, a "chicken" at last, not in the colloquial sense of "coward", but in the avian and heroic sense of "Bird".

I trust this answer will suffice.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Jim Krause
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 01:36 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Where I come from, we say it was to prove to the armadillo that it could be done.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 01:40 PM

Bill Clinton's answer: "Define 'the'".

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 02:52 PM

Martha Stewart: Obviously the chicken was dissatisfied with the drabness of its own little plot of earth. Look there - see the scratched up brown earth and dilapidated coop? I don't even want to mention that wire enclosure! On the other hand, we can see that the property owners accross the road have done some lovely landscaping. There's a luxuriously green hill over there, and a rather quaint picket fence. Oh, and doesn't that labrador retriever look just perfect,although a bit hungry, and...oops...

And now I'd like to share my recipe for easy chicken soup.

Sorry it wasn't political, but...oh yeah - Ross Perot: "Stop asking me these chicken questions!!! Do I look like Frank Perdue?!?!"

...to record with the Chieftans?

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 05:28 PM

The real question is, why did the road submit to being crossed in the first place?

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: kendall
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 05:45 PM

because roads have always been kept down

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Hollowfox
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 05:52 PM

For a nonpartisain answer, see "Why the Chicken Crossed the Road" by David Macaulay, Houghton Mifflin, 1987.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Ely
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 07:32 PM

I used to have a whole list of answers. The only ones I can remember are these:

Timothy Leary: It was the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Colonel Sanders: What, I missed one?!

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Clifton53
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 08:09 PM

JACK KEROUAC- The chicken was mad baby, mad for the hot tar tug on his feet and mad for the waving wheat weed cover on the other side and mad to FEEL the blast roman-candle freedom of crossing that 'ol road and getting further down that pathway to the righteous black jazz blown heart of this great country and like what 'Ol Bull Lee calls the "grey dawning of his soul"!!!!

Clifton

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: sophocleese
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 08:31 PM

For an indepth look not at the 'why' but of the 'how' the chickens crossed the road you could read Terry Pratchet's short story of The Hollywood Chickens.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 01 Nov 00 - 10:14 PM

This is actualy a two-part question
The first part: Why?
The ability to question ones place in the grand scheme of nature and to feel the frustrations of thinking the summit has been reached where all will be made clear only to find even greater and loftier questions beyond; the need to press on in this seemly ceaseless and hopeless endevor; the ability and NEED to ask why is that which separates us from the lower animals and is a query of such deep philosophical import that it needs to be discussed elsewhere.
The second part of the question; did the chicken cross the road?
Yes!
I hope this clears up any confusion some of you may have had.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 04:44 AM

It's obvious: to go to the headless parakeet concert.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: GUEST,cal
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 10:13 AM

To get the the other side and prove to the fox that it could be done.

cal

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: GUEST,Bucky Katt
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:07 AM

Troll - You made the statement: "the ability and NEED to ask why is that which separates us from the lower animals".

Fiddle faddle. As a cat, your superior in every sense, I can assure you that it is you humans who are among the "lower" animals. No doubt about that. We cats don't ask "why" because we already KNOW why. You guys are pretty pompous referring to yourselves as MudCATTers, I must say. Where do you get off adopting the name of a higher animal? Ha! I spray contemptuously in your general direction. Who needs your silly forum anyway? The chicken didn't cross the road, because I ate it. And it was fun, I can tell you.

- Bucky

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 11:12 AM

...cause it couldn't get off the rooster's member.

(Blame the rooster, the meaning of the sexual revolution.)

Stir the pot, stir the pot. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: sledge
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:15 PM

Clucked if I know

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: mousethief
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:19 PM

Obviously it was a chicken Anglican priest, blessing the road on the annual Anglican day of road-blessing, St. Tarmac's Day, November 22nd.

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:26 PM

Ya' know Michael, when you ran Part One of this thread, I parodied a few 'Catters as a Mudcat version and I thought I'd include a few newer ones. After reading the replies of some of them here, I see they've done it themselves.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:37 PM

The real question is, who built that road across the place where the chickens have always walked?...In other words, why did the road cross the chicken?

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Matt_R
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:42 PM

I thought the concept behind "chicken" was to STAY on the road?

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Nov 00 - 12:44 PM

because the grass in greener? Paradigm Chicken crossing road

I guess chickens, as a class, are just never satified.

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Nov 00 - 01:01 AM

Unlike women, who are always satisfied, right? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: P05139
Date: 03 Nov 00 - 09:35 PM

Watch it Little Hawk!!

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Nov 00 - 09:45 PM

well....women who know ME seem to be satisfied...*BG*....

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 03 Nov 00 - 09:47 PM

Bucky, of course cats "KNOW". They "KNOW" that they have to have humans around because, to date, no one has invented a can-opener that can be operated by paws.
We'll call outselves whatever we darn well please and you'll put up with it or there'll be no Friskies Turkey & Giblet dinner in the dish tonight.

troll...who has opposable thumbs

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:24 AM

That's "apposable", not "opposable".

Dave Pedant Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:49 AM

Dave, acording to my dictionary, 'appose' means to place two objects near or next to each other while 'oppose' means to act against.
My thumbs are capable of acting 'against' my fingers.
I stand by my original usage.

troll