BS: Kendalls apology

Subject: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:05 PM

Ok, I really dropped a clod in the churn this time. It was an ill considered flippant remark. I had no idea that anyone would be offended, it was not a personal attack. It was simply a piece of black humor. If I had known that even a handful of people would be offended, I would have either posted it as a Guest (coward) or not at all.
So, I hereby offer my most sincere apologies to anyone who found that remark offensive. UNCLE!! now, let me up.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: mousethief
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:06 PM

Take back what you implied about me being a woman.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:11 PM

First Kendall agrees with me and then he apologizes.
TAKE ME HOME LORD! I'M READY TO GO!

troll LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:13 PM

Mousethief, I never implied any such thing. How long have you had this paranoia?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: GUEST,Ceitagh
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:13 PM

Forgiven....though I find it hard to understand how that comment could have been taken as anything *but* a gross generalisation and insult. Mayhaps your black humor is simply too dark for daylight.

Pax,
Kate

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:15 PM

And I dont see why anyone would take it personally.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: DougR
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:15 PM

I guess I missed the afore-said remark, Kendall, so I don't know whether to be offended or not! LOL Doug

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:17 PM

To mousethief, regarding Kendall's implying that you are a woman: in the words of Frodo Baggins, "It was a compliment and therefore not true!"

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:18 PM

Mousethief, I hope you know I'm kidding!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:21 PM

I was talking to a guy from Eastport Maine at a bluegrass festival, and when he found out that I was from Machias, he said "Machias? I went to Machias looking for a girl, but left without one, They were all so ugly, the friggin' tide wouldn't take them out"! I was not offended, in fact, I laughed at the cleverness of the remark. I knew he was just being funny, and, it was not a personal attack.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:31 PM

If I might bring up an idea here...I've always felt that if the humor outweighs the smuttiness, or unPCness or whatever, go for it. I love to laugh at myself. (I'm female and kinda enjoy clever female jokes.) But I know many people are very offended by off-color, sexist, racist, etc. jokes, so generally I don't tell them to anyone except close buddies. Any thoughts folks?

Kendall, I wasn't in the least offended by your comment, but, I know that many people are. Someone once said that the apparently benign humor was the most damaging of all. Just wondering...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:33 PM

I wasn't offended Kendall. Just smiled, shook my head, and said "That loveable old curmudgeon - he really stepped in this time." So now apologize to all of those people who are too ugly to get laid and let it go.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:44 PM

Hey, guys, the man apologized. There isn't much more that he can do.
He didn't mean to offend anyone, he's just this old, insensitive, liberal, ex-cop from Maine, who probably got kicked in the head by a moose one too many times and can't really be held responsible for what he says.
In fact, He probably stole the line from somebody else. He's not known for original thinking anyhow.
So lets everybody back off and show some respect for his advanced age and for the few grey hairs he has left. Just look on him as a crusty old uncle who sometimes says inappropriate things and to whom no one pays much attention.

troll***uncontrolled mirth***

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:51 PM

Oh yes he can be held responsible, but it just wasn't that offensive - and this from someone who can't get laid to save her hide, I sometimes think!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 03:54 PM

"I'm truly sorry. And I didn't do nothing wrong anyway." I paraphrase here, but not innaccurately.

That's the kind of apology I'd expect from a politician who's been caught out telling porkies about his past(naming no names). This election you're having is affecting everybody, it seems...

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Bagpuss
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:10 PM

I didn't see the comment, but I'm offended anyway!!

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Midchuck
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:23 PM

People who are too easily offended offend me.

Kendall, I think the situation called for a suggestion that the offended individual commit any one of a number of anatomically immpossible acts, rather than an apology.

If the level of "blackness," political correctness, and general raunchiness of the humor in the mudcat is to be set by the most easily offended person in the whole bunch, the hell with it.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:34 PM

I think some people get offended as a hobby. It's annoying to the rest of us, but their lives must be sheer hell being pissed off all the time. Some people think the glass is half empty, some think it's half full, and others just *know* someone has spit in it...

Previous opinion expressed in a lame song, which should have a verse about "I didn't think that was funny!"

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Bagpuss
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:41 PM

Q. How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. What ever the answer is, IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:43 PM

PROTECT THE EASILY OFFENDED.
BAN EVERYTHING!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:55 PM

I have a reputation amongst close friends for being "the rudest man in the world". Amongst people I don't know well I appear a model of politeness and decorum.

My humour depends to a large extent on rudeness, but I never intentionally offend anyone. I am only rude to people I know well, who will not take offence.

On the rare occasions I have really offended someone it is usually when drunk, and it happens because in my cups I think someone is a bosom friend,(as you do when drunk) when really I met them 5 minutes ago.

On the Mudcat (in the Mudcat, whatever), you can assume (as Kendall seems to have done) That everyone knows and loves you, when really some people don't know you from Adam. George Bernard Shaw once claimed "There can be no guilt, without intent." While this is contrary to the legal rule that "ignorance is no defence", I think unless you meant to offend, no offence should be taken.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 04:57 PM

My God that sounds pompous.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:18 PM

I don't think it sounds pomous! I can out-pompous that easily, and I'm sure I've done so on many occasions. Look! I'm doing it now!

I think Kendall's only mistake was in not predicting people would see him as an opinionated, humorless old fart. He has quite a keen sense of humor.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Tinker
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:26 PM

Kendall, I haven't been here that long, but you do such a fine job insulting your fellow males, that I might have felt we women were not on your radar. My New Englander dad used to say never insult someone you don't like. It'll go too far. So since I agree with you, I can feel complimented and know you still like all those other women too. BG

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:28 PM

Jeri, so you're saying Kendall is a humourous old fart? ;-)

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:37 PM

No Jon. I DID say he had a sense of humor! And you left out "opinionated." ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:39 PM

I can't believe it- I've now erased four of my responses. I guess I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:44 PM

Well, I haven't a clue what the original insult was (was it that about the "tide won't carry 'em out" that you said above? If so, someone needs more fiber in her diet.

BUT ...if all this thread did was to introduce Jeri's splendid song to me, it was well worth it. I am putting it on my songlist for my next Mudcat Concert, abso-freakin-lootley.

Jeri rools.

ww

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:48 PM

Tinker, you've proved my point about pomposity, or perhaps verbosity would be putting it better. Your New Englander Dad's comment said what it took me 4 paragraphs to say in 6 word. "Never insult anyone you don't like."

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Art Thieme
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 05:56 PM

Well, this seems to be as good a place as any for me (Art Thieme) to do it too.-------

--------I'm SORRY also. So there.

Now I feel like a Catholic who just came out of the confession booth------or a Jew the day after Yom Kippur or whatever.

It seemed like it was good for you, Kendall-----and it was sure good for me. (Let's share a cigarette.)

What thread was the offending one that precipitated all this???

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:01 PM

I'm getting confused now. Can we just post a blanket apology here and have all our past sins absolved? I knew what Kendall was apologising for but Art Thieme has lost me. Was that the intention? If so, I have to tell you, it isn't difficult (losing me, that is).

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:08 PM

Where are these women who are too ugly to get laid, anyway? I have never seen one.

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:11 PM

Aw screw that Pansy.....KENDALL ROOLS!!!!

Consider the fact that he's a miserable old fart without any redeeming social value and you'll see that an apology is never needed from him. Kendall was young once, but the earth has cooled considerably since then and sadly, so has Kendall's gray matter. Maine born and bread, he was never long on smarts to begin with and living on a diet of pemmican and moose turd pie has reduced his already addled mind to one which resembles a Brussel sprout in both size and function. At age 12, its reported that he was on the verge of having an original thought, but was cut short when he was kicked in the head by a flatulent moose that he was trying to circumsize.

He now makes statements which he believes have meaning or are humorous although they are generally neither. Its difficult for Kendall to understand what is or is not funny or meaningful since he has also gone through life with a lobster clamped on his balls and an oyster up his ass. So I implore you........give him a break.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:14 PM

Troll, I'm not an ex cop

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Tinker
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:21 PM

Jeri---LOVE the song... My kids are running from the room. How dare I sing the chorus.... I'm a grown-up! (Well, at least sometimes)

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:23 PM

Murray, there is no such thing as a woman, or man, who is too ugly to get laid.
Spaw.. you made my day! Here is a good example of what humor can do. I could get pissed at spaw for his attacks, but, I think he is kidding. Furthermore, I am secure enough in knowing who and what I am that it would take much more than the raving of an unbalanced midwestern wild man with a possum fetish to upset me.
Thanks to those who understand, and, according to the PMs I have received, you are running about 20 to one pro kendall.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:28 PM

Clearly Spaw likes you Kendall, and thus proves my point.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:30 PM

OK, so yer not an ex-cop.
I ain't apologizin'. Theres been too damn much apologizin' already around this dang place. 'Sa matter with you people. Cain'tcha take a JOKE?

troll...hadda keep it short. on my way to a gig.fer PAY!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:31 PM

Kendall, "there is no such thing as a man who is too ugly to get laid??????????" . Jeez, you don't gave to carry your apology THAT far!!

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:46 PM

sorry, I dont have any ashes or sack cloth

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 06:48 PM

Oh I dunno' Murray.....When was the last time you got laid?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:07 PM

A gentleman never tells, Spaw ....but I do feel lucky tonight

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:14 PM

You're right Murray...A gentleman never tells.......so then you'll be reporting back into us here huh?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Greyeyes
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:15 PM

Murray, keep us informed. It's 12.15 in the Uk but I'm prepared to wait up!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:16 PM

kendall

I thought ya had bigger stones than that....

They don't like something you said? That's THEIR problem, not yours!

Where'd that box of Mudcat Bran Muffins get to? This place is really starting to need it bad!!

:-|

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: GUEST,harp
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:28 PM

Ole Kendall is like a dog turd anyway. The older he gets, the easier it is to pick him up!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:34 PM

I agree. Save the insults for your friends. If you have an enemy you would like to destroy, flattery is a better weapon. Tell them they can walk on water, and with any luck they might drown.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:49 PM

Ah McGrath, that was beautiful. You can walk on water.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:55 PM

You should know Harpgirl! If I said that about a woman, some of you would be all over me like a cheap suit!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 07:58 PM

Well Kendall, at least it would feel familiar......the cheap suit that is.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:03 PM

thats true spaw, its all a retired govt. employeee can afford.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:14 PM

I wasn't offended.

I agree that there isn't a woman on the face of the planet who can't get laid. For every woman in the world, there are at least 100 men who would gladly give her a good poke. (Probably a lot more than 100.)

Here's my one "however". I have found that a lot of men who like the kind of humor that got this whole thread started in the first place, are frequently offended when they hear jokes like:

"Why did God create Man?...."

"Because dildos can't mow the lawn."

Personally, I choose to not tell jokes that could be taken as "gender bashing". I think they cause more bad feelings than good feelings. And to me, humor is about good feelings. But that's just my own personal preference. If kendall wants to live with the repercussions that frequently accompany that particular kind of humor, he's a big boy, he can make up his own mind.

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:39 PM

I think thats funny! does that mean I'm not normal? I dont get offended unless it is personal. Even then, I might decide not to give the offender that much power.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:53 PM

Actually Carol, you can get the new riding dildo with the 36" cut........New and Improved....Much better model. You'll find yourself volunteering to cut the local football field twice a week.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:54 PM

(kendall, re: your question about being "normal". Are you sure you want to ask a question like that around here?)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:56 PM

Spaw...gasoline powered or electric?

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:56 PM

So - it's all settled. Kendall now says that no woman is too ugly to get laid. That should satisfy everyone. TEE HEE. Maybe I'll start a thread to force him to prove it. Can see the headlines now "Famous Folksinger Sea Captain Falls In Action". All the makings of a song challenge.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Mooh
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:02 PM

Kendall, I laughed my butt off when I first read your original remark. It was a while before I even read it because I most often don't bother with the type of thread that I see as too much controversy for my patience. But I'm glad it wasn't me who said it, even if my sense of humour found it acceptable. I understand how it upset people, though I don't understand why it would be taken personally. Based on your history here, even I knew it was a wry, dark, ironic remark.

As someone once said of me, "You've got a size 20 mouth. Room for both nines and a bit to grow into.". LOL!

Peace. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:17 PM

Carol, you'll be happy to know its ecologically safe, being solar powered....which should really heat things up. The solar generator drives a bellows affair off an accordion (right down your alley, so to speak) which not only drives the blades, but provides a pulsating action to the semi-pneumatic 22" whang. Any excess air pressure is bled off through a pop-off valve in the rear which blows a stream of cool air across your ass.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: CarolC
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:25 PM

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year, I want....

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Matt_R
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:30 PM

Yet everyone wanted ME to apologize for words that weren't even mine. Strange place, this.

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:53 PM

What's strange about it. You're the Kid. You're fair game. It is our responsibility to pick at you and insult your taste in music and the like.
It toughens you up and makes you more able to deal with those prople who DON'T care about you. But you, you ungrateful little wretch, have the nerve to complain about the very people (Spaw, Kendall, et al) who are trying, out of the goodness of their hearts, to save you heartaches in later life.
Do you actually think I ENJOY this?
I'd much rather be sitting in my cave sipping a root beer and listening to music.
So go on off and listen to Old Aces or whatever that band is. Don't give a thought to those of us who are trying to do things that are really for your own good.

troll (snik snik snik)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: WyoWoman
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:58 PM

Catspaw, I do so wish we had an artist her in Mudcat who could illustrate some of your inventions. This one just about takes the cake.

And Carol,you might be right about there being "at least 100 men who would gladly give her a good poke...." although I question the "good" part ...

ww

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 09:59 PM

SPAW...YOU ARE KILLING ME!! Sinsull, I'm glad you are not ugly, otherwise, I wouldnt dare go where you are!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:05 PM

Well WW, I built a few of them, like the "Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner" which is now in the possession of Musicman...He showed it to Bill Staines last week, but didn't let him try it......

Now this one would be a prodigious undertaking.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:09 PM

according to you, you already have the 22" wang. I'm sure you will rise to the occasion!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:17 PM

I dunno. That much weight out front could be a problem. Balance you know. You'd need a pretty hefty bit of weight behind to counter the tendency to tip over.If you tip over forwards it could break something important not to mention being painful.
And then there's the problem of blood supply....
This 'un is gonna take a lotta thought.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:39 PM

Kendall, I hope you won't consider to become normal, will you. This would be CRAZY.

;->

Joerg

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Art Thieme
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:06 PM

I was just giving a generic apology---**smile**-one that'd cover any sin I might've committed somewhere along my Mudcat timeline **smile**. There was no point to the posting at all. **smile**

'Twas meant to be irony (in the Fielding sense)--**smile**--humorous too. **smile** But it seems to be one more time that nobody got my joke. Maybe I should go back to talking about condoms...***BIG SMILE***

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: MK
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:23 PM

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a Production Manager," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be a Producer." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."


MK
(-thought some might enjoy this distraction-)

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Troll
Date: 04 Nov 00 - 11:33 PM

LOL

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: JedMarum
Date: 05 Nov 00 - 12:04 AM

I am sorry too - sorry I missed the original, offending comment!

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Nov 00 - 12:11 AM

Well hell Jed, just hang around a bit and I'm pretty sure Kendall will crank out something else equally offensive. Its only a matter of time..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 05 Nov 00 - 02:39 AM

Well I guess I did get lucky tonight, but only insofar as I didn't forget any words and my guitar stayed in tune. Since none of you has posted in the last two hours, I guess you all must have got luckier still. Hope I get luckier on Tuesday, if Gore wins I will be able to afford a trip back to Scotland ....

Subject: RE: BS: Kendalls apology
From: The Shambles
Date: 05 Nov 00 - 03:56 AM

Abortion:Here we Go. The original thread which does contain some very good stuff.