Subject: The Felton Garland
From:
*#1 PEASANT*
Date: 29 Nov 00 - 10:41 AM
The Felton Garland
How a Brick-maker at Felton stole a young woman away,
buy her own consent, from her grandmother.
To the Tune of Maggy Lawther, &c. There lives a lass in Felton town,
Her name is Jen--y Gow--n,
With the Briek-man she has play'd the lown,
So wanton she is grown:
The reason why some love the night,
Incognito to revel,
Is they love darkness more than light,
Because their deeds are evil. So late at night on Saturday,
He thought all safe as brandy,
He rigg'd and trigg'd, and rid away
Upon John Hink's Sandy:
To Haggerston he did pretend,
Some sweetheart there confin'd him;
But he took up, at our town-end,
His cloak-bag on behind him. Like as the bird that gay would be,
As fable hath reported,
From each fine bird most cunningly
A feather she extorted:
Then boasting said, How fine I'm grown
Her painted plumes she shaked,
At which each bird pluck'd off their own,
And left her almost naked. With this kind maid it proved so,
Who many things did borrow,
To rig her up from toe to toe,
And deck her like queen Flora.
Of one she got a black-silk hood,
Her fond light head to cover,
Likewise a blue cloak, very good,
Her night intreagues to smother. Clock stockings she must have (dear wot)
In borrow'd shoes she's kilted,
Some lent her a blue petticoat,
Both large and bravely quilted.
Of some she got a fine linn-smock,
Lest Pet--r shou'd grow canty,
and have a stroke at her black joak,
With a tante, rante, tante. With a borrow'd cane, hat on her head,
To make her still look greater,
She'd make her friends believe indeed,
They were all bought by Pet--r.
But when she did return again,
In all her boasted grandeur,
Each to 'their' own did lay just claim,
And left her as they fand her. But none can guess at 'their' intent,
Why they abroad did swagger,
Some said, to see 'their' friends they went,
Some said, to Buckle Beggar.
Away full four days they stay'd,
I think they took 'their' leisure,
They past for man and wife, some said,
And spent the nights in pleasure. When the Black Cock did his Sandy see
There was a joyful meeting,
That night when I thee lent, quoth he,
I wish I had been sleeping:
Thou art abused very sore,
As any creature can be,
And still he cry'd o'er and o'er,
O woe is me for Sandy! Then Sandy, mumbling, made reply,
You were my loving master,
I never did your suit deny,
Nor meet with one disaster,
Till now unknown to your self,
That I shou'd had this trouble,
Or else for neither love nor pelf,
You'd let me carry double. Poor Sandy was with riding daul'd,
He rues he saw their faces,
His back and sides they sorely gaul'd,
He pay'd for their embraces;
But if young Pet--r's found her nest,
She'll rue as well as Sandy,
And if she proves with child, she best
Had tarry'd with her grandy. How they abused the horse they rid on, and when
married, they went off in several people's debts. In second part I will declare
The troubles of poor Sandy;
and how this couple married were,
And how well pelas'd was Grandy.
Now first with Sandy I'll begin,
Whose leggs swell'd to a wonder,
So likewise was his belly rim,
Swell'd like to burst asunder. And lest his troubles shou'd increase,
A farrier was provided,
Well skill'd in Markham's master-piece,
Who in this town resided;
And, to his everlasting fame,
He did exert his cunning,
He bled his leggs, and in his waim,
Two tapps he there sets running. He several med'cines did apply,
Whose virtue was so pure,
That in six weeks, or very nigh,
He made a perfect cure.
And now in all the world besides,
There's not a soundere creature,
So well he scampers, and he rides,
But nevere more with Pet-r. Of him I now design to speak
A Yorkshire born and bred, sir,
He play'd them all a Yorkshire trick
and then away he fled, sir.
As you shall hear when home he came,
With Jennet upon Sandy,
He to his work return'd again,
And she unto her grandy. But long with her she tarry'd not,
Unsettled was her notion,
Just like the pend'lum of a clock,
That's always in motino.
I'll go to service, she did say,
Keep me, you cannot afford it;
So one she got, where was it pray?
E'en where her spark was boarded. Now whether 'twas for want of beds,
Or whether it was cold weather,
Or whether 'twas to measure legs,
That they lay both together;
But as they smuggl'd for a while,
And gave out they were marry'd,
Till she at length did prove with child,
Then all things were miscarry'd. Then he did own his fault was great,
He'd make her satisfaction,
And fearing penance 'in' a 'sheet',
He'd suffere for that action.
He marry'd her without delay,
And got 'their' nuptial lesson,
Which to confirm they went streightway
To get their grandy's blessing. When in her presence they were come,
She rail'd at them like thunder,
For shame, cries she, what have you done,
That's brought on you this blunder?
She call'd her slut and brazen fac'd,
Instead of kind caressing,
Our family you have disgrac'd,
Can you expect a blessing? But like a stormy winter's night,
Next morning turnscalm weather,
So grndy's passion soon took flight,
She pray'd that they together
Might live in love and happiness,
Enjoying peace and plenty,
Long may their health and wealth possess,
And pockets ne'er grow empty. When they had grandy's blessing got,
They slyly fled away, sir,
He all the bricks did leave unwrought,
And many debts to pay, sir.
Now all good people warning take,
How you do trust to strangers,
They'll wheadle you for money sake,
And still prove country rangers. -Source: The Northumberland Garland;or Newcastle Nightingale., Joseph Ritson,
Newcastle, MDCCXCIII , Harding and Wright, London,1809.
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