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BS: Extremely silly thing to do

Jon Freeman 08 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM
catspaw49 08 Dec 00 - 05:16 PM
Bill D 08 Dec 00 - 05:35 PM
Kim C 08 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM
Little Neophyte 08 Dec 00 - 05:47 PM
Bill D 08 Dec 00 - 06:18 PM
Micca 09 Dec 00 - 07:58 AM
Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) 10 Dec 00 - 12:37 AM
kimmers 10 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM
katlaughing 10 Dec 00 - 01:12 AM
Liz the Squeak 10 Dec 00 - 03:26 AM
Geoff the Duck 10 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM
Liz the Squeak 11 Dec 00 - 06:29 AM
P05139 11 Dec 00 - 06:54 AM
Ella who is Sooze 11 Dec 00 - 09:15 AM
Little Neophyte 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 AM
Ella who is Sooze 11 Dec 00 - 09:54 AM
P05139 11 Dec 00 - 10:01 AM
GUEST 11 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM
annamill 11 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM
Mrrzy 11 Dec 00 - 10:26 AM
GUEST,Mary in Kentucky 11 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM
Seamus Kennedy 11 Dec 00 - 12:02 PM
Geoff the Duck 11 Dec 00 - 08:59 PM
Matt_R 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM
Rollo 11 Dec 00 - 09:39 PM
Susan A-R 11 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM
Matt_R 11 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM
kimmers 12 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM
Ella who is Sooze 12 Dec 00 - 05:35 AM
sian, west wales 12 Dec 00 - 07:12 AM
Troll 12 Dec 00 - 08:18 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Dec 00 - 08:31 AM
Liz the Squeak 12 Dec 00 - 08:32 AM
GUEST,Fibula Mattock 12 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM
Patrish(inactive) 12 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM
sophocleese 12 Dec 00 - 09:46 AM
Bardford 12 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM
Micca 12 Dec 00 - 12:24 PM
Ella who is Sooze 12 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM
Bert 12 Dec 00 - 01:32 PM
P05139 13 Dec 00 - 08:52 AM
SINSULL 13 Dec 00 - 09:28 AM
Trevor 15 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM
Troll 15 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM
Gervase 15 Dec 00 - 08:11 AM
Mr Happy 13 Aug 02 - 10:44 AM
EBarnacle1 13 Aug 02 - 12:22 PM
fogie 13 Aug 02 - 12:38 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM

I think we are talking about the same thing Dave - the person who used to put the petrol in the car and check the oil, water, tyre pressures, etc.

Self-service was already popular in 1978 but some people, particularly older people, used to like being served. Times have changed... in those days, we had a number of customers who didn't even know how to open the bonnet (hood to you) of thier cars.

Sticking with cars, I remember Mark telling me of someone topping up the hydraulic reservoir on a Citroen with water which could have been interesting. A very expensive mistake too if I remember correctly. I could be totaly wrong on this but I have a feeling that the Citroen instructions were to replace EVERYTHING in the brake and suspension system.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM

I decided I was going to get rid of the weeds at the side of my house. I bought that poisonous weed killer stuff and poured it all down the side wall near the foundation where the weeds were. I went into the house to do some laundry. An hour later, I came back outside to do some chores in the backyard. I was shocked! The weeds were trembling! I thought to myself, what a horrible way to die.
Then I realized I had turned on the dryer and the dryer vent was blowing on the weeds.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:16 PM

Jon, Mark and I should get together and share a few tales. And annmil....Nothing wrong with your suggestion and its done all the time. Matter of fact, you adjust the valves on a hydraulic lifter Chevy with the engine running.....Most of us were bright enough to use a shield however. Most wrenches had a rocker cover with the center cut out for just that purpose. I still have one.

Our teens were constantly playing tricks on each other and their friends with my sauces. The hottest you will find BTW, is "Endorphin Rush" made by Dave of "Dave's Insanity Sauce." One night I found one of the guys showering at 3 AM. It seems a "joke" had backfired when he scratched his nuts without washing thoroughly first.

AND...............

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went around belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:35 PM

"Brylcreeeeemm, a little dab'll do ya'"...unless you are a 14 yr old kid who mistakes it for toothpaste...*blush*

but...the BEST was my good buddy who was renting a room at my house years ago....he wanted a peanut butter sandwich, but we were out of 'crunchy'...so he rooted thru the cupboards and found a jar of chopped nuts, which he mixed in to give the P-nut butter proper texture....EXCEPT that what it actually was, was spare kitty litter!...clay-like chunks of NOT chewable texture!...to his credit, he TOLD us the story later...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Kim C
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM

Oh wait! I've got one. I may have shared this already another time; I don't know. Anyway we have one of those little electric coffee grinders... you put the beans in there, put the lid on, then push the button. One day I was grinding coffee and it didn't stop when I let up on the button. I thought, well, the switch is stuck, I'll just take the top off.

Coffee grounds flew everywhere before I realized I should UNPLUG it. That's the only time that's ever happened. Unless it's happened to Mister and he just hasn't told me....

A couple weeks ago we took our blackpowder rifles over to a friend's for a little target shooting. One of them is a percussion-cap rifle Mister inherited from my dad. Before loading it, Mister decided to pop a couple of caps on it to make sure it wasn't clogged up or anything - but didn't run the ramrod down it. Daddy hadn't been hunting in about 5-6 years - no way it was loaded. So he popped a cap. And popped another cap. Decided to pop one more, and .... BOOOOOOM! He turned around white as a ghost and said, That was NOT supposed to happen.

Daddy had left a pretty good load in that rifle! It blew a hole in the dirt bigger than your fist. We decided it was Daddy's last joke from beyond the grave. I could see him laughing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:47 PM

That is disgusting Bill, but it reminds me of the good old days when at some party we had way too much to drink and smoke and had run out of munchies. Someone put out a bowl of doggy chow and everyone dug in without having a clue what they were munching on.

LN


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Dec 00 - 06:18 PM

well, doggy chow won't really HURT you..*grin*..(my cousin, at about 4-5 yrs old, LOVED dog biscuits...had to hide them from him)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Micca
Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:58 AM

a little of topic, I worked for several years in a University dept that was part of a Pharmacy dept, so we had access to the pharmaceutical prep equipment for pills powders and creams. For a wedding present for couple of colleagues, the research group gave the bride and groom a special 7 pound (3.5kg) jar of KY jelly. Which caused much hilarity when it was unwrapped at the reception...
It wasnt until the bride and groom returned to work that we discovered that a colleague had used the departments prep equipment and blended in a liberal dose of local anaesthetic.....
They did not discover this until it was distributed around the vital parts of BOTH partys; it took 12 hours for the effect to wear off...
They(and we) got revenge a few months later, but thats another story..


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall)
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:37 AM

When using Tiger Balm, be sure to wash your hands afterwards before rubbing your eyes. Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, don't keep it in the same pocket as your lip balm when camping. Once again, Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rich


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: kimmers
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM

Sterile lubricant (read: K-Y) and styling gel are amazingly close in composition. At the VA Hospital when I was a med student (and broke, and short on sleep) I used to use the Surgilube in my hair to style it after a bad night of no sleep on call. The male students used to use it to shave; said it worked pretty well.

I once put Vaseline in my hair my mistake. The jar of sooper-dooper Dippity-Doo and the jar of Vaseline were next to each other on my dresser.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 01:12 AM

Rich! Rog forgot to wash the Tiger Balm off his hands one night, after putting it on my shoulders. When his hands *wandered* a little later he had a hot twidgetted mama on his hands!! Sheesh, what's with you guys and not remembeing where your hands have been?**BG**

DougeR, sounds like an excellent definition, although in a multi-cat house, I'd have to say feeding time, with the phone ringing, someone at the door with resultant Dog on Intruder Alert, and the knock of someone on ICQ all at the same time, runs a close second!

kat


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 03:26 AM

We all heard the story of Micca and the tube of Savlon on Thursday night (sounds like it should have been written by Enid Blyton or JK Rowlings.... Five stick with KY Jelly.... nah!), let that be a lesson to you!

Oh, and never use Deep Heat (presumably the same as Fiery Jack - hot, penetrating muscle rub) as toothpaste. Aged 4, tall enough to reach the bathroom shelf, but still unable to read, mistook one for the other.... can never be in the same room again, as even one whiff of it makes me heave stupendously and instantaneously...... even the memory is making me.... excuse me....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 10 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM

One song I sing is "Drag queen blues" by Richard Digance - which starts with the line "My friend George is a drag queen called Nancy". Earlier this year I was in the Endeavour in Whitby (North Yorkshire, England} with a singing crowd. When it was my turn I launched, full voiced, into said song. As I was half way through the second verse I suddenly recalled that around 10 minutes earlier a group of people had just sat down in the alcove immediately behind me. My brain suddenly registered that one of the group was a six-foot transvestite dressed all in black. "WHOOPS!", I thought, followed bo "Oh Sod it!" as I went on to complete the song, followed by a VERY big round of applause from the rest of my crowd, who had also noticed my gaffe, and had been waiting to see if I realised what was behind me.
Luckily the restrained themselves from the Pantomoime Chorus of "He's Behind You!!!"
QUACK!
GtD.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:29 AM

Not as silly as Nick Dow, not the slimmest of singers.... doing a gig in a biker pub, and singing Jenny of the Moor. Everything was quiet and peaceful until he had a senior moment and sang 'seven long years I've been patiently waiting, for just one glimpse of my Willie-o....'

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:54 AM

I've just embarrassed myself by bursting out laughing in the college library! Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:15 AM

ooo very funny...

just been away from the mudcat for a weekend and look what I miss!!

Okay... King... (Kris)

The chicken kiev things... It was those chicken kiev balls, my friend put her fork into one of the little blighters to eat one....

And the buttery, creamy kiev sauce inside shot out with huge force, and spattered all up her arm...

They had just come out of the oven, and were probably 180 degrees plus or similar (very hot) and she got blistered all up her arm.

We had to go and see the school nurse (too young and silly to go to the doctors) and explain how she got burnt (from the kievs) and hope she believed us... there you go... beware the chicken kiev...

Liz.... very very funny...

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 AM

Kat that is pretty funny about Rog and the Tiger Balm.
Thanks for the tip, I shall try it sometime.

:)


Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:54 AM

just remembered something I did this week.....

was singing A Stor Mo Chroi at a gig - I sing it acappella...

Going through it fine... and I freeze up on the second verse... I managed to keep going, by ad libbing the whole verse - and made up my own...

I couldn't even look at the rest of the band as I knew they were laughing their socks off at me.. Managed to right myself by the last verse.

Thanks heavens I wasn't drinking that night!!

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:01 AM

I did a v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v. silly thing when I was walking to the bus station earlier on today (i.e. about an hour ago). We were walking through the park on the way and for some weird reason I decided I would walk into a one of those little concrete pillars (I forget what they're called). Anyway, my boyfriend, being the kind, loving soul that he is, decided he would prevent me doing this and tried to push me out of the way. However, I didn't move my feet so he tried pulling instead (he knows how my CRAZY mind works!). Just as he was pulling, I moved and he nearly fell over backwards, taking me with him. Luckily, he has quite good balance so we didn't end up sprawling. All the damage was superficial, i.e. he bashed his nose on my head and his shoulder attacked my chin.

I still got the bus though!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM

Ely - when you mentioned James Herriot it reminded me of an incident that happened to me.

Hubby is vet, and I was on a farm call with him. I had washed my hair in strawberry shampoo...well the bees loved it. I ran to the truck with angry bees chasing me, jumped in, rolled up the window, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then those angry bees flew around to the other side of the truck and came through the open window on that side. I had to bail out and run like crazy. Needless to say, no more strawberry shampoo!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: annamill
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:24 AM

IT CAN"T BE DEC 11 ALREADY!! GADS! Well, anyway. Speaking of Chicken Kiev, I made it for my first husband when we were newly wed. I didn't have any toothpicks to hold them closed, but I had plenty of straight pins which I HAD planned to remove before serving them. I forgot! My new husband accused me of trying to murder him.

Love, annamill


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:26 AM

Annamill, that was the remake, not nearly as funny as the original. Which was Le Grand Blond Avec Une Chaussure Noire, with Bernard Blier and I can't remember who else. Probably mid-70's.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Mary in Kentucky
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM

That was me above with the strawberry shampoo. I really don't go around anonymous.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:02 PM

Frying bacon and eggs in the nude. I wear an apron now. All the best. Seamus


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 08:59 PM

On the subject of uncontrollable laughter in libraries, when I was at University (circa-1980) I found in the periodicals library a magazine called - if I recall correctly the "Journal of Improbabilities", which was an American publication lampooning scientific papers.
Does anyone out there know if it still exists, and if so where I might find a copy?
Do you realise how impossible it is to remain silent in a library whilst trying to suppress a laugh? It makes ecverything even more hilarious!
GtD


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:26 PM

Rule for Life #52--Never put crab legs in a pencil sharpener.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Rollo
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:39 PM

Not been in here for a while and coming back to find this wunnerfull topic... hehe...
but lets talk about this youngster, sitting in his room and watching a video he is still five years too young to watch... his sister enters the room, and he jumps up and forward in order to push the "off"-button... but jumps too short... now imagine him, naked except his shorts, with his right hand still stuck in there, his left digit only inches away from the video recorder, and he saying to his sister: "I... I... was copying this tape for a friend."
it was the same friend of mine who was angry because the beautiful young singlwoman from the other side of the street had discovered something and closed the curtains while showering. what did he do? he hid his identity by wearing his batman costume and then slipped over the road to snatch the ventiles from her bike's pneus.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Susan A-R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM

Um . . . Only two pieces of culinary advice here. First: Ice cubes and other liquids in a cuisinart do not work well, unless you want to wash windows, walls and self in the liquid in question (how does yourt sound?) Also, infant formula does not whip in the same fashion as heavy cream. I know, I've tried (the bottle looked like a cream bottle, but my friends were avid recyclers, you see.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Matt_R
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM

When I was little I got my hand stuck in a stereo 8-track player...


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: kimmers
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM

Geoff the Duck, you're thinking of the Journal of Irreproducible Results, an amazingly funny publication. My med school had a subscription to it, and it was filed right in there with all of the serious scientific journals. I used to read it whenever I had the chance.

I believe it still exists, and if I'm not mistaken they have a website.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 05:35 AM

I walked all the way to school when I was 13, with my skirt tucked into my underwear - to my horror, past EVERYONE....

I have fallen on my arse in the Louvre, and fallen down the steps in the Musee Dorsay.

And was once saying how much I found a tutor annoying at uni, and not being very nice about her at all...

And she was stood behind me!

Arghhhhhhhhhh

Then, I was working as a just out of uni Graphic Designer... and visiting a client at a community farm project, who wanted some publicity designed for them.

They had invited me to come and see what they were about, to take me around the adventure walk, to see the wetlands area and bird sactuary, and to meet the people helping to run the farm...

As I was walking through a field after going to see a huge (and I mean enormous) Shire horse. I was chatting away, and though... hot breath on my neck... I am being followed. I looked round and I had a new friend... harry, (the horse) had taken a shine to me... and was right behind me with his muzzle right behind my ear, cuddling into me, and then sticking his head into my bag...

I had an apple in my bag, and he had smelt it out, and wanted that apple... had to surrender the apple, before he would let me carry on any further...

Ella talks to the animals...

Never work with animals or children!

:)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sian, west wales
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 07:12 AM

Kris, re: the aftermath of the Chemistry Set(s)... it's actually yet another mathematical wonder. Just as the sum of two chemistry sets is greater than the component parts, the sum of the anger of one mother plus the anger of another mother is greater than the component parts.

Ella, chicken is seriously dangerous meat. I microwaved some once, stuck in a fork and it exploded!

Sian


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:18 AM

Don't EVER jump into a swimming pool wearing a full suit of armor no matter HOW hot you are.
It's not far to the bottom but it's a helluva long way to the surfac.

troll... No, I didn't do it. A friend did.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:31 AM

Leaning over the rocks one one leg, at Portland Bill, Dorset, to rinse sand out of a shoe wasn't very clever either... those rocks are slippery and the tide would have taken me straight out into the Races (seven, yes count them, seven currents meet there and it is never less than choppy, and that is in a dead calm elsewhere!). Thank heaven for bigger rocks to hold onto.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:32 AM

Oh, and never try to cool down in hot countries by pouring ice cold coke over your head... a friend did it in Spain one year, and ended up with a delightful spiky punk hairdo, and a cloud of admiring flies.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM

One of the first lectures I had to give, I spent over 5 minutes at the start trying to get the projector to work as the rather large lecture theatre filled up. After another five minutes of them watching me struggle I was about to admit defeat when one of the students informed me that I had to take the lens cap off...
Not as stupid, however, as the night when I was out and under the influence of a slightly mind-altering substance when, sitting by the side of the dance floor, I was sure I'd wet myself. I refused to move all evening, convinced of this, until I got up to sneak out at the end of the night and realised I'd sat in a pool of spilt beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Patrish(inactive)
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:33 AM

never go swimming in your undies in the hope your friends will look after your clothes..........
Patrish


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: sophocleese
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:46 AM

Oh Patrish that brought back a memory. Several guys were skinny dipping in a local pond when they were invaded by another, mixed, group of teenagers. All except one of the guys heard the others coming and managed to get something on before the girls came over the hill. One guy got caught in the water. He stood there waist deep pleading for somebody, anybody, to throw him some clothes or a towel. He was given a sock.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bardford
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM

Another thing a person should try to avoid is rinsing contact lenses with hydrogen peroxide before inserting them....


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Micca
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:24 PM

DO NOT sniff a large flask to see if the Ammonia producing reaction has started.it took me 2 mins to regain conciousness, and do not give the kiss of life to anyone in a Chem. lab in case they have inhaled, HCN, SO2or SO3 or Br


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM

yeow... bardford I have done that loads of times...

last night I forgot to put ANY solutions in the lense case (mind on other things)

and this morning they were all crusty....

Ella


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Bert
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 01:32 PM

If you're driving a stake into the ground with a sledgehammer - DON'T hold the stake with your thumb over the top.

Bert- (We don't have to beat our kids, we just give them the tools.)


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: P05139
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 08:52 AM

How about getting a giggle fit in the middle of a sad song? One word on that ... AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 09:28 AM

Don't mix up the contact lens cleaning solution with the wetting solution.
Don't stick your hand in the vacuum cleaner carpet attachment without turning it off - it ate my entire hand.
Don't mix up the hair spray and Lysol.
Always put the basket in the electric coffee maker - or else a spray of scalding water and disapproving glares from the office temp.
Don't try to reheat a cup of coffee by pouring it through the coffee maker - that temp hated me. The filter clogs and it takes twenty pots of clean water to clear it.
Don't drop a lemon candy into a can of diet soda to make it more palateable - it becomes a sticky volcano on your boss' desk.
My most recent embarrassing moment - my office chair is on wheels. I leaned over to pick up a dropped pencil. It shot out from under me and ran into the metal desk behind me with a loud clang. I fell forward into a metal trash can which overturned also with a clang spreading an assortment of debris everywhere. I was laughing too hard to get up and tears were running down my face leading all to believe I was injured. I give them credit - no one laughed until the following day. Then on the way home, I remembered the event and started to laugh out loud again - on the subway train. Amazing how easy it is to get a seat if people think you are crazy.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Trevor
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM

I was halfway through singing 'The Vicar and The Frog' one night when I twigged that the person sitting opposite me, looking me straight in the eye, was a plain-clothes vicar. Totally lost it which meant I could pretend I'd forgotten the words.

BTW How silly is it to carry on past the motorway services with the gauge on red, just to see if you can make it to the next one?


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Troll
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM

Don't ever, as a friend of mine did, take a piece of white-hot iron from the forge with your hand instead of the tongs.

troll


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Gervase
Date: 15 Dec 00 - 08:11 AM

I once worked in an office where there was a communal microwave that was used and abused more than a piece of kitchen equipment ever should be.
I once bought some snails (pretentious, moi?) from the nearby deli and thought I'd be a smartarse and warm them up in the microwave. The results were spectacular as the contents of each little shell reached boiling point, tried to expand and then exploded like little mortar bombs.
In desperation I dragged open the door to get them out, but the little buggers continued exploding as I hurled the plate towards the bin, covering me and three other people in the kitchen with gloops of dead snail and garlic butter.
Then there was the time I nicked a jar of white phosphorous (don't ask - but like most kids, I was seriously iinto pyrtechnics) and tried sawing a small stick of the stuff with a hacksaw.
Of course, once out of water and exposed the the air, there was spontaneous ignition - resulting in a pool of molten burning phosphorous on my bedroom table and panic as I rushed out for the CO2 extinguisher my father kept in the kitchen (he always was paranoid - wisely, with me as a son) and blasted the blazing pool before throwing a wet towel over the stinking mess on the table.
It did the trick - but when I turned the light out I found I had my very own planetarium, with tiny fragments of phosphorous glowing greenly on the floor, walls and ceiling, and I spend what seemed like hours with a pair of tweezers and damp cotton buds removing the evidence before my parents returned.
Return they did - to ask why I'd set fire to the kitchen bin, which was giving off some very acrid fumes. The sodding towel had dropped some of the phosphorous onto dry stuff in the bin, which had started the conflagration all over again.
Now I've got kids of my own, I have to bite my tongue sometimes when saying "Don't do this or that", knowing full well what a little sod I used to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 10:44 AM

in the moor & coast tent late night extra in bridgenorth last year, there weren't enough benches or chairs left by the time i arrived back from town in the early hours.

i had my pushchair with guitar,squeezer,& bar,& also my 'handy' folding 3 legged stool.

i found a convenient spot & placed it down. i'd not noticed that the ground was ever so slightly uneven, so when i sat on the stool, well i felt i was turning cartwheels! went arse over tit straight into someone sat singing & playing a blues number- so embarassing! i was somewhat disorientated-didn't kno what had happened![well at that time of night after a lot of sinining & wixy who would]

anyway some very nice & helpful young chaps picked me up off the floor & set me in a chair- with another dwinky right as rain again & more songs & a bacon & egg butty!


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 12:22 PM

It is always a pleasure to look back on yourself through the eyes of children. This weekend my son and his friend (both 11) were on a jitney going back to our car after a festival and couldn't stand the fact that some (slightly older) girls had shown an interest in them and tried to give them flowers. Their generic comment was "I don't want to play with girls--never." Ah--what a couple of years will do.

Many years ago, I felt a bike I was passenging on was going too fast and the driver would not slow down--so I jumped off with things in my hands. Won't do that again soon! Tried to jump onto a carousel a few years later. The laws of physics paid me off for that one, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: Extremely silly thing to do
From: fogie
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 12:38 PM

Friend caught thrush at a festival, and having access to antibiotics for his sheep he started taking them. When he asked my advice he had been on them for 3-4days, and was worried that he was getting worse and worse! Projection slide in med-school of a mans penis he had cleaned with dettol neat- it had an exquisitely neat half-moon bite taken out of the glans!


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