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BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms
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Subject: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 08 Dec 00 - 12:51 PM Let me welcome you ,if I may, to Ye Olde Englishe Inne, nestled soft in the heart of the green rolling hills of Hampshire where time has stood still since 5.15 this afternoon. It is Friday and not just any Friday, since from today Morticia is on holiday until the hangovers of the New Year have departed( about the middle of January ,give or take a week). She is joyous mood and bids her friends join her in seasonal song and merriment………
Morticia wanders into the Mudcat Arms and calls out in her best 'summoning the bar staff' voice," Ho, there Barkeep, a large gin and tonic and one for yourself"! A vision of unloveliness appears before her in the shape of a begrimed and aged old fellow with a scowl that could singe asbestos. " 'Ere" says he, in sulky tones as he draws the required nectar from the optic " aren't you one of them there folk singing types what woz 'ere last week and caterwauling fit to make my head 'urt?"
" Yes indeed," she says with a grin , not entirely free of malice " and so welcoming were you, (aside from that amusing jape with the fire extinguisher which was purely in high spirits, I am sure) that I have come as the advance guard of the Mudcat Pre-Festive Celebration Party.
"What?" said the aged one with a look of horror, " you mean there's going to be more of you?" " Yeah verily," quoth Morticia, who was known to get biblical when excited or drunk " lots, I hope…..singers, guitarists, banjo players, bodrhans……even tiples mayhap…Why, elderly barperson…..what ails you?" she said anxiously. With a soft sigh, mine Host sank into a faint, knocking over a jar of pickled eggs in his slow descent to the sticky, beer-puddled floor. " Bugger" said Morticia, as the aroma of vinegar wafts round the pub " I suppose that means I'm pouring my own." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM And if this ancient edifice is anywhere close to Alton you can pour me a pint of John Courage while you're behind the bar there Morti me luv. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM From just outside the strains of "A HedgeHog carol" rise to the skies as a Picking himself up and brushing crumbs of vinager smelling ruptured egg from his jacket he finally makes it to the bar. "I'm American," he says blithely. "Or should I say UnitedStatesian. Don't blame Canada."
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 08 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM "OH THERE'S SOBER MEN AND PLENTY, AND DRUNKARDS BARELY TWENTY, THERE'S MEN OF OVER NINETY, WHO HAVE NEVER YET KISSED A GIRL. BUT GIVE ME A RAMBLING ROVER, FROM ORKNEY DOWN TO DOVER, WE'LL ROAM THE COUNTRY OVER AND TOGETHER WE'LL FACE THE WORLD!" What ho! Mortee-landlady! I see the old codger who should be serving drinks is hiding under the table. Can ye just pull me a nice sweet ale? You know, I wouldn't have stumbled coming into this place if someone hadn't stepped on my hand! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bat Goddess Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:19 PM "Well, old friend, fancy meeting you here, of all places," sez she at the end of the bar swilling an Old Peculiar, and not her first one, either, before she chimed in on the shouted finale (to "Sober Men and Plenty") of "Up she flew and the cock flattened her!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 08 Dec 00 - 02:40 PM Hey BG, was it you who stepped on my hand as I crawled into this place? Can't stay too long. It's the day I am supposed to stir up my XMAS PUD and tomorrow I am a-steamin'. Pull another sweet light ale! No, none of that black bitter stuff for me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bat Goddess Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:14 PM Oops, sorry about that. I thought it was the pub cat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:24 PM OK Mortie, I've just helped Mein Host up to bed... ... so the drinks are on the house! Whisky and ginger for me please for the cold evening. Hey- this could be the start of a right rolicking good night... or so... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM I left my hart; in Sam Clam's Dis....Dis...(hic)sco! 999 thousand 999 bottles of beer on the wall! 999 thousand 9 hundead and noine! If I drink one of those bottles and it tastes really fine, 9 hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety eight bottles to go! Does anyone know how I got here? I was at work, I think I was at work. Or was that last year? No, I was at work and next thing I know I'm here. I am here? Here I am.
I There was a white duck on the way here, with a bill. Duck bills feel kinda funny y'know, sorta like bone, but softer? I'm a widdle light duck, swinging in the water, A widdle light duck, doin' a termater; took a bite of the lily pad, threw it up then I said...I said... AM I where I was when I thought I was here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM He makes perfect sense to me! Now that's worrisome. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM Hallo!!! I'll wander in for a bit....I have something of my own to celebrate today!!!! I just found out that my seemingly endless string of dead end jobs is ending!!! I start a job doing computer technical support on January 2nd!!!! Amerginwhoisveryexcited! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:38 PM DRINKS ON BERT'S CREDIT CARD FOR THE HOUSE! [congrats to AMergin!] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C Date: 08 Dec 00 - 03:49 PM Whiskey Cat needs a triple Bushmills so she can start drinking her way through the holidays. And a Macanudo. Thanks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Jim Krause Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:03 PM WELL, I CAME HOME THE OTHER NIGHT DRUNK AS I COULD BE... And who should stumble in but that infamous wastrel Chester Drawers. "What this place needs in some good ol' time country fiddlin' an' I need another pint o' yer best stout ta keep mah bowin' arm good an' oiled up. HOT DAWG!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:07 PM Amergin, I don't know whether to congratulate your or not, I worked in tech support for many years. It's one of the worlds most stressful jobs, one survey rated it higher than air traffic control. So best of flipping. BTW, I've got this neat little program that will quickly find answers in your technical database. Send me a PM if you're interested. And my glass is empty. Let's have a refill. Got any 'arras' behind the bar there Morti? Who's up for 501? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:30 PM tech support stressful? nah. no way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 08 Dec 00 - 04:47 PM Where IS Mortee? She started this party and then wandered off. Check under the tables. Maybe she's in with the landlord. Don't check in there. Give the poor old guy some privacy. Hope she don't kill him with passion. Someone hand me a guitar. It must be time for music. I'm minded of an old story I read recently of a shipmate on a square rigger in the last days of sail. On the first evening in the foc'sle he pulled a fiddle out of his seachest. The rest of the watch looked on with approval. Then the old geezer started to saw away at it without any knowledge of tuning or playing, just screeching and squawking the bow across the strings. They begged him not to play but he just smiled and kept on. They had too much respect for personal property to throw thaat fiddle overboard so faced with a long sea voyage and that awful noise one of the watch snuck in and waxed the strings. When he next pulled out the instrument he found it wouldn't play. They told him the humidity was doing it and he'd be all right when they got to Australia in three months time. Where's that guitar? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:06 PM She's gone to fetch some more pickled eggs! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM Right lads and ladesses, I'm pouring as fast as I can.I was down in the cellar putting on another barrel of Old and Nasty and bringing up more pickled eggs ( but I feel better now thanks).I'm glad you took the landlord off to bed, I stood on his face four times! Bert dearest, if you must play darts can you at least check the acupuncture chart first and someone put MMario to bed, he's been chatting up the pub cat for an hour...and I think he's pulled! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: mousethief Date: 08 Dec 00 - 07:30 PM bringgers a pitcher of TNT's, if'y'pleash. Heavy on the lime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MAG (inactive) Date: 08 Dec 00 - 07:40 PM Oh, Goody, a party; just what I need. I think we all do. I brought my own bottle of Hennesseys and am willing to share. At UU choir practice last nite we were oiling up all our songs about the celebrations of the universal birth of the universal child, Mother Earth giving birth to the New Year, etc etc. We went way over. Tonight I have book group, and tomorrow the band plays the dance. I am UP for a virtual party. Can any of you fellows waltz? er, can any of you fellows stand up on your own? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:15 PM Can I get a gin and tonic in this place? I've brought two accordions in case anyone needs a spare. I've just returned from the photo shoot for the Mudcat nude calendar, so pardon my skimpy attire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 08 Dec 00 - 08:39 PM ahhhh, I wondered how many would turn sans clothing....I of course am tastefully attired in my usual wetsuit with matching evening slippers and diamante tiara.....I can waltz Mag, but only if I can count as we dance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 08 Dec 00 - 09:51 PM Daughter of my dream, shine a guiding light for me...for I'll be here 'till light...whisper in the night...till she has forgiven me.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Sorcha Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:04 PM ooohwa la, are the arms light, heavy or pole? Perhaps snuggly arms? I could use snuggly arms.......in lieu of that perhaps just a nice sweet Porter? Lay on there, ye with the arms.......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:21 PM whaddya mean she's a cat! Thass an insullllllllt, I thinkk. She got the purtiest green eyes, and they tilt. I think she's oriental, maybe whatchamacallit, europeasian? And her hairs so soft... Not much of a talker tho, just sorta hummmmmmmmmsssss aat me... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:26 PM Never figured you liked cats that much, MMario.... BTW thanks all for the congrats and such....and, Bert, my girlfriend works there too and she really likes it...It's one of those places that train you...I always figured you to be a techie... Amerginwhoisthinkingitisgoingtobeoddtobeworkingithhisbrainnothisbody
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:49 PM Ah Mort............Its been some times of late hasn't it? Draw me a tankard my dear. and now, if I can get Bert to retrieve his fockin' dart from my ass, I retire to the corner booth to watch the action and hope for some myself.............. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Date: 08 Dec 00 - 10:51 PM Uh, Spaw, why is his dart in your ass? Does karen know about this? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Sorcha Date: 08 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM We playing Ass Darts now? Well, you are all safe from me--I can't hit a wall from 5 paces. Pull me another, there, Mortee, I just been to Flanders Field, Hiroshima and Saigon. If every tear were a diamond.......I would be a Queen. More beer for me and my friends! A round on me, here, you old bartender! Git outta the sack, and send some 'round, now!! (Please?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:18 AM Ah, I need some crying whiskey for I have received bad news. A friend lies dying of cancer and his wife, my other dear friend is alone with tht burden. They are many miles away and I can do nothing but stand by the phone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:25 AM Oh Brett, I'm so sorry.....we have all had such a horrible time just recently.....I think a round of whisky macs made to my own secret recipe on the house,maybe a few sad songs and a damn good blub....lets get it out of our systems and wait in here for a better new year. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:49 AM I'm sorry to hear about your friends' troubles, Naemanson. You can play my other accordion if you want... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Dec 00 - 09:19 AM Hey Brett.....You know we're with you. Its hard to be in the position you find yourself.....been there, done that. All our best to your friends and to you. You are in our thoughts. Pat and Karen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 09 Dec 00 - 11:01 AM Thanks guys. Sorry about raining on a party. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Dec 00 - 02:14 PM Naemanson, play us a song to take away your troubles, for I'm sorry to hear of that unkind news. And may I offer everyone a pint of Smithwicks, this being a pub with a select international clientele, and one where I can hopefully get PROPER beer, and not this oul' English Real Ale shite. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 09 Dec 00 - 03:10 PM Hey, Fib.Mat., Shite is what you WILL do if you drink bloody Smithwicks !!! both long and often, it gave me a spectacular case of the fizzy trots once, and I stayed away from it since, Really, what came out FIZZED But enough scatology Barkeep a round for my friends and glass of "my special winter warmer" over here, 1/2 a pint(UK) of dry strong cide(NOT Diamond White) and a large glass of green ginger wine, mixed, tastes WONDERFUL...but after 2 there is NO pain... after 3 NO feeling ... and after that catatonia... a mirror to check that I am still breathing may be required after that.. but it keeps out the cold... and a pint of Youngs "Winter Warmer" for my friend Morty.. "Come, fill the cup, what boots it to repeat That time is slipping underneath our feet Unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday Why fret about them if TODAY be sweet" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Dec 00 - 03:24 PM Micca! It's a well known fact that young ladies like myself do not have any such nauseating bodily functions, and if they did, they would all smell of rose petals. I like the sound of that cider thing though. Be merry, my friends, be merry... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 09 Dec 00 - 05:36 PM I'd love to sit and sing and drink away my troubes but I have to go run my coffeehouse. We have an all open mike night and I have to get there early to bar the door to keep out the rockers who want to invade our inner sanctum with their amps and power cords and chords. Enjoy the evening! Brett |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird) Date: 09 Dec 00 - 06:37 PM In sulks an Oklahoman in a tattered cloak, carrying a guitar case on his back and a Mt Dulcimer case in his hand Down with the OU Sooners! OSU forever! Go Nebraska! (Other Americans, at least, can probably guess why he's tattered and sulking) I need a big, frosty India pale ale.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:35 PM Death to all us rockers! I think I'll go do the world a favor and hang myself on my amp cord. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 09 Dec 00 - 07:39 PM Well, a big pint of Smithwicks coming Fibs way if she insists and an IPA to those who drink real beer.It's getting late and I know people are kind of tired...so I put the lights down low and draw the red velvet cutains to hide the bleak rainy night although you can still hear it in the quiet interludes....... It's kind of hushed now.....'Spaw and Bert are having a discussion regarding the merits of throwing darts without any kind of skill, MMario and the cat have gone off to a place they can be alone, Carol is softly playing her other accordian and Morticia is singing " DFour and twenty virgins came down from Inverness" in sepulcharal tones.The aroma of mashed pickled eggs still lingers and , in the still soft distance, church bells ring summoning the faithful to prayers.....IT MUST BE TIME FOR THE JELLO PIT!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Dave Wynn Date: 09 Dec 00 - 09:17 PM Could I possibly have a bowl of water please and perhaps a pat or two....Maybe if things develop , a tune or song in the key of "just below dolphin" would let me really join in.....! It's hard bein' a dog... Spot |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Dec 00 - 09:27 PM Hey T!!!! C'mon over and drown your troubles with Bert and I. I'm glad to see you're an OSU fan......yyou DO mean OHIO State don't you? Oh............Oklahoma huh?....Ah that's OK, to coin a phrase...........Tell ya' what....Hang this dartboard on your ass. ............ Sure, go ahead.....It'll guarantee that Bert doesn't hit you with a dart............... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: katlaughing Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:03 AM Tbird, nice to see ya! Brett, sorry to ehar about your friend, I've got a snugly hug for you when you come back from preserving acoustic music. Somebody check, please, to make sure that folker's being decent with the cat and this dog gets a pat from me, there, there, good fellah and a bowl of water, right quick, if you please, or it'll be the RSPCA I call! There, now that all's right with the critters, Micca, I'd like to try that brew of yours. I am fairly certain there is no possibility of my finding the ingredients in Wyoming, so it'll have to be tasty-time here or not at all. Drat! Mortee, m'darlin' doll, nice place you've set up, need a hand with anything? Sorch, didja bring yer fiddle, womon? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:19 AM All right, now, gather' round the pianner for a few English drinking rounds, sang (sung? singed?) in luscious four-part harmony...
1. Banbury ale Damn, rounds are always so hard to do when half the singers are passed out on the pedals... kimmers |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:24 AM And would there be any Guinness, darlin'? Just a pint or two, or three. Oh, no, no pickled eggs, they make me belch horribly. MMario, dear, the cat's on the piano keys. And she's playin' better than me. Better retrieve her. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Troll Date: 10 Dec 00 - 02:22 AM From France we get brandy From Jamaica comes rum Sweet oranges and lemons from Portugal come But beer, ale, and cider Are Englands control Bring in the punch ladle We'll fathom the bowl. We'll fath... Sorry. I got carried away there. Carols accordian and attire...or lack of same. At any rate, ginger beer and a quiet corner'll do for me. Hallo Doc! Chase that cat off the piano and give us a tune. Ah...thankee luv. Have one yerself. Mario, still on yer feet? troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Dec 00 - 02:54 AM This "lady" has let me use her keyboard. I say "lady" but she sure as furballs don't smell like one, but anyway, she's let me use her letters tray because I have a few things on my um.... er. thingy. Firstly, if I find the bastard who stood on my tail as they came through my favourite staking out window, I shall crap in their boots. That's a nice ball of fluff, can I bat it around? Oh, no, it's one of those things they keep in a jar.... fart pills I think they were. Bast, but it's seen better days.... stinks like that tomcat three doors down, and his arse hasn't seen a tongue for months! Where was I? Oh yeah. First you use me as a rug - hey - that's what Dogs are for!! Then, I get my first chance of getting out of here for ages - OK, so I've smelt better things in my food bowl, but it was a chance. Mmmm food. that would be nice. I'll just eat these crunchy potato things..... Now what was I saying?? Oh yes, I was just about to give it the full blast of my gorgeous green eyes, when it did the brelp noise, and Bast, did it pong. I thought I'd die again..... Made my eyes go all funny, I could see both my noses.... In a bid to escape from that, I jumped onto the first thing I could see that wasn't one of my noses. Makes a nice noise doesn't it..... Do you have to keep feeding it that brown watery stuff, or would it like some crunchie num nums? Hey, what's this hole.... Mmmmmm, secret dark place..... hey I can get in it! Any spiders in here?? I love spiders, crunchy, juicy and a leg for everyone..... back in a bit. You in't seen me right? Queen Rathunter Magnifipaws III, aka Cooking Fat.
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Dec 00 - 03:05 AM Now that dam... delightful cat has disappeared, I can get on with ordering my drink... 1/2 pint of real ale - perchance some Badger best or the one with the duck on - into a pint mug please, and a bottle of ginger beer. Yes, a ginger beer shandy. No, don't put the ginger in first, it will go up like polaris...........! Anyone have a cloth? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:55 AM Kimmers, just for you, here is a round, learned from the singing of AWOL, " I like spanking I like spanking Spanking Nuns Spanking Nuns I like spanking Dead nuns I like spanking Dead nuns Dead nuns Bums Dead nuns Bums
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 00 - 07:30 AM Ah Matt, once again you've taken offense where none was meant. You don't know these guys, or the room we have to work with. The room is very lively acousticly. With one or two people present you could whisper in one corner and be heard everywhere. I run the sound system on the lowest settings and only run it up for those people I know do not (or can not) put out any sound on the stage. It is also there to give people a chance to experience a "professional" setting with mikes and audience and all. The "rockers" I refer to showed up one night with a pickup truck full of gear. It took them 45 minutes to get set up. I explained that they'd only get two song, that the room was not suited to loud music, that other people would be following them up on stage and we might have a full bill of ten acts to run through. They disregarded the whole spiel and went on to a full set up. They played their two songs and they were not good. I suppose technically they were OK but their performance was lifeless and dull. And though they reassured me that they were a quiet band they pinned the audience against the back wall. And then, after they cleared out all their equipment (1/2 hour process) the booked and didn't stick around to see the rest of the show. No support for the other acts. So if these are the guys to whom we say "Death to Rockers" I would agree. But you know me better than that, Matt. No blanket statements from me and no negative statement without my hearing the act first. We have since set a new all acoustic rule in the Mocha Cafe. I have the only sound system and if you don't want to plug into it then too bad. Sorry to get serious while at a party. Let's see, where was I? And how'd I get under this table? And why do I have an accordian in my arms? I don't know how to play an accordian. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 10 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM O.K ,so I wake up this morning looking and feeling like the Wrath of God, under a table, mouth full of furballs and cradling an accordian and, for some reason, a pickled egg.........ah, it must be Sunday. Kimmers and Micca are apparently launched into all 234 verses of Eskimo Nell and the dog seems to be a doing a damn fine job on harmony.....ah, must be the Mudcat Arms...ok, so I know where and I know when....now, who the hell am I? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM I roll over, away from the accordian, and into the arms of a very tousled looking Mortee. Now this is a vast improvement! But she pushes me away mumbling something about the "hair of the dog." Jealous, I go in search of Spot! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:21 PM ok troll... Come landlord fill the flowing bowl |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:38 PM If I had another brick I'd build my chimney higher If I had another brick I'd build my chimney higher It would stop my neighbours cat It would stop my neighbours cat It would stop my neighbours cat From pissing in my fire micca |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Date: 10 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM Brett & Mortie- the party's still going on here in the snug... Good dog, Spot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 10 Dec 00 - 01:00 PM Come on Brett, last one to down a pint of Old and Nasty is a sissy!.....erm, well actually, I think that might be me......perhaps first to down a pint of lemonade? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 10 Dec 00 - 02:27 PM Stick 'em up punk, it's the fun-lovin' criminal! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 00 - 02:52 PM Ah, there he is! Come here, boy, nice doggie, come on, just a little closer... Gotcha! OK, DOG! You and I are gonna have a little chat... So... what'cha drinkin'? Landlady! We'll take two of those here! Hell, I never could stay made at a dog. Must be the eyes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Date: 10 Dec 00 - 04:27 PM Oooh, my head, my head. And what's this pickled egg doing inside my guitar? And how do I get it out without getting egg salad? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM Kimmers, if you work it just right you'll have sliced egg for a sandwich. Just wait till I force this dinner roll through my own guitar strings. Spot, quit lapping that drink like that! You're spilling as much as you're drinking. Ooops! My pudding is ready to come out of the steamer. Wish me luck on my culinary experiment! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:21 PM Typical, I go away for the weekend and a huge party begins, practically on my doorstep. Seeing as today is my Birthday, I'm hoping I won't have to buy too many of my own drinks, but in the meantime I'll have a pint of a local ale, Ringwood Old Thumper will do nicely, and I'll toast Naemanson's pudding. I can't help noticing that everyone seems to be paying a lot more attention to boozing and chatting up cats than making music at present. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:38 PM Happy Birthday Greyeyes.......and since it's your birthday, I'll buy the Old Thumper ( so named for it's headache giving qualities) and you can give us a song. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:40 PM Hell, should have kept my mouth shut. Am I allowed to do something bawdy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:46 PM Allowed???It's been blooming compulsory! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Date: 10 Dec 00 - 05:51 PM In which case, does everybody know the chorus to "The Harlot of Jerusalem"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Dave Wynn Date: 10 Dec 00 - 07:04 PM Anybody want some hair..........I got plenty. Thanks for the pats and things. Could someone please give me some water or Andrews or Resolve. I just woke up and some human has crapped in my mouth. Thanks all. I am off home now to try and remember what Morticia was stroking last night!!! Tosp.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 10 Dec 00 - 10:01 PM Thanks for the toast to my pudding! I'm off to the Xmas Pud thread to post the dscription of the great event. Happy Birthday, Greyeyes. Once I get the chance among the others buying you drinks tonight we can put the rest of them on my tab. If you are of the female persuasion I'll offer you a big old snog. Ah, what the hell, here's a snog anyway. The pudding turned out great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 10 Dec 00 - 10:05 PM "hey ho Cathusalem,Cathusalem, Cathusalem, hey ho Cathusalem the harlot of Jerusalem There lived a hero by the wall and tho he only had one ball........" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Gervase Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:53 AM Pickled eggs for breakfast, lunch and tea - Jeez, what about the bloody ozone layer. Any more of that and the Oz catters will be roasted! Mine's a mother-in-law please - old and bitter. And Liz, if the cat's got furballs, he's a lucky little sausage. I'm freezing at the moment, and a bit more insulation darn there wouldn't do any harm... And ain't it grand to wander into a pub that never closes? Mind you, I don't like the look of that bloke in the corner fingering his possum ocarina - there's a strange miasma around him. Must be the pickled eggs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:14 AM Ah, an unoccupied letter tray. Micca, I don't piss down chimneys, that's that tabby bastard from out the back. Yours, Baron Velin de Marmalade aka Gerroffoutifyagingerbugger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM There's bloody cat paw prints on my keyboard again.... can't leave it alone for 2 mins, just for a widdle.... well OK, 4 mins, I have had a lot, and now I know why they call it Spitfire..... Anyone got any Blandford Fly?? Try it, it's lovely... Hall and Woodhouse have made a new spiced ale, 5.2% (or thereabouts), pale chestnut, gingery, hoppy and absolutely bloody lovely.... 10 out of 10 and where can I get some more?? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST Date: 11 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM Naemanson, mind who you're snogging, I'm male. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Greyeyes (at work) Date: 11 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM Naemanson, mind who you're snogging, I'm male. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 11 Dec 00 - 08:48 AM Since a large crane has been swinging Portakabins past my window all day (postponed from Friday because of high winds),my nerves are shot! Gimme a large Metaxas on Bert's tab. Then we'll all go an march on Patrish's hubbies school and lynch the head. As soon as this pub closes.... RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:10 AM Coooooooommmme plaaaaaaaay myyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaaame |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:31 AM Love to, Mattie- wotcha playin'?? And Brett, three cheers for the puddin'! Hip hip.... now where did I put my glass... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:00 PM RtS..." as soon as this pub closes the revolution starts. we'll,chase the aristocracy and confiscate there brass, and start a new democracy thats really working class ...as soon as this pub closes,as oooon as this pub closes" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:06 PM Whiskey Cat needs a lap and a scratch behind the ears. Meow. And another triple Bushmills. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM Well, I had thought the local constabulary, in the person of one PC Dimbutttock,scourge of the apple-scrumpers,man of fashion ( albeit 50 years ago) and general all round theif chasing hero, might have stepped in to close us down but although he stepped in, he didn't step out again.That's him leaning against Noreen and crooning "Goodnight Irene" ever so slightly off-key.Mrs Dimbuttock came and deposited his dinner on him sometime last night ( the gravy was lumpy) and then moved in with the Postmistress, Miss Hermione Gladiator....they seem very happy. BTW has anyone seen the landlord yet? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert Date: 11 Dec 00 - 02:21 PM And Bertie boy walks back in again, having been gone all weekend. Sorry about the dart Spaw, I was after a double 'top', honest. Your bottom was the last thing on my mind. Gimme a Boilermaker, that's an 'English' Boilermaker please. A Stout and Mild - Aaaaah!!! that's fit for Brother Ted Hill himself. Seeing as I can never hit the bloody dartboard and so that T's Arse can be preserved for posteriority, I think I'll join Matt. What game is that yer playing there me ol' china? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario Date: 11 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM God I love being in a pub on a friday evening...it's so nice to bve able to unwind with a few... it's monday? It's MONDAY ? ! ? ! What happenned to my weekend? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM I was just wondering the same thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:45 PM Raise the pressure, let's play the game--I'll test ya! Psychosomatic attic insane! Raise the pressure, let's play the game--I'll test ya! Psychosomatic attic insane! Cooooooooooome plaaaaaaaaaay myyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaame In Hell, in Hell, you're the victim! Coooooooommmmmmm plaaaaaaaaaaay mmyyyyyyy gammmmmmmme Excel excel excel! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM I see, Matt, its an ad. for Microsoft products???? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:51 PM Right, so that's cleared up then! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 11 Dec 00 - 04:01 PM I think somebody has been feeding thatlad a little too much Old and Nasty..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 11 Dec 00 - 04:10 PM Too soon to be out of me bed, Too soon to be back at this bus queue caper, And fumbling for change for me picture paper, On a Mondy morning.
Wrong end of the week for a smile,
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert Date: 11 Dec 00 - 05:39 PM No it's Excel that he's playing. Who needs Zork when you've got Excel. The game is to try to figure out how it works by reading the online help. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Date: 11 Dec 00 - 08:40 PM Oh Brett, one of my favourite songs, can we do harmony?
Where is the weekend now?, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:08 PM So nice of Constable Dimbuttock to lend me his coat. My goosebumps were getting goosebumps. I think I'll wander back to the kitchen and try to find some eggs that haven't been pickled yet. Anyone like a nice big dish of scrambled eggs and toast? I've got some good coffee and tea brewing, too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:23 PM I'm a firestarter!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:07 PM Hey CarolC! While you're back there, could you see if there might be some grits back there? No, I guess there wouldn't be. (sigh) I guess I'll just have one of these orange-glazed sweet rolls. Anyone else want one? I brought plenty. Oh, and if anyone else wants one, I am going to be making a few double diablo dirty demitasses (or whatever you may call them) on that steam generating thing over there that sounds like a bagpipe whenever it gets hot. Maybe I can figure out how to fix that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:40 PM OK Mortee, arm in arm in harmony, My lover she lies asleep, My lover is warm and her heart is mellow, I give the whole world just to share her pillow, On a Monday morning. If only the birds would booze, If only the sun were a party giver, If I could trade someone else my liver, On a monday morning. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Alice Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:40 PM Matt, I just came in from below zero Fahrenheit, deathly cold. I could use a firestarter like yourself. A roaring fire where I can thaw out... that's the ticket... and anything warm to drink. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:43 PM Grits!? Did someone say grits? The real kind, not the instant ones, with lots of butter, a bit of salt, that kind? Lemme rummage around here and see what I can find. Oh, and could someone pour me a nice red wine, not too sweet, with a bit of oak and strawberry flavor (whatever the hell that means) As soon as I find these . . . Ah, there they are. . . I plan to set them going and take a load off my feet for a while. I started out the day moving a refrigerator, cooked for about 8 hours, then ended the day cleaning the new fridge. Awful things happen those suckers when they are left closed, and not quite clean for a while. Whew! Ahhhhhh, rouse me when the grits need attention. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:04 PM I've got word of thanks, thanks that I'd like to say, for the rage that I feel, the rage that I feel today. Gotta stack, gotta stack, stack of chips on my shoulder, in everything I do 'cause I made, I made, I made the mistake of trusting you. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel. Yeah, my layers are thick, And I got a bad attitude. Yeah, that knife in my back, has fingerprints that belong to you, Got a grudge, got a grudge, got a grudge that I'm holding, for as long as I live, 'cause you lied, you lied, you lied to my face, and that's something I can't forgive. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:14 PM Was it something I said? Did I burn those grits? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:18 PM Here's a lightly layered luscious latte for you, Alice. Now, lets get those boots off and I'll try to rub some circulation back into your feet. I can't spend much time at it though. Susan sounds as if she knows a thing or two about grits and I'd hate to miss out on them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Alice Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:25 PM Thanks, Allan. That feels better (you can have my share of the grits ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:35 PM Grits!! Yum, I'll take a dish when they're done. What do we drink with grits? Kentucky Bourbon? Grits make me think of the South, which makes me think of the American Civil War (everything makes me think of the Civil War), so how about a chorus of the Army Bean Song? To the tune of "Sweet By an By": Tis the bean, that we mean, And we'll eat as we ne'er ate before Army beans, nice and clean We will stick to our beans ever more (the rest is in the DT, and I'll be damned if I'm going to type it all. Just sing the chorus; you're too tipsy for the rest) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 11 Dec 00 - 11:42 PM After you get thawed, Alice, perhaps you would favor us with a selection from The Merry Widow or, well...you choose something. Meanwhile I'll see what I can do to give Susan a hand. I'd imagine she is plenty tired. Those old refrigerators can put up quite a fight. Speaking of refrigerators, I wonder if Carol got herself locked in the walk-in or something. Haven't seen her for awhile. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:01 AM "Yes, for paradise the Southland is my nominee. Jes' give me a ham hock and a grit of hominy." Although I am a Californian by birth, I will always have a soft spot in my gut for the South - especially its food. But on the other hand, there aren't many things that surpass a Montana steak 'n eggs breakfast. Then again, I'd enjoy sopping up the last bit of a good batch of frijoles and red peppers with a flour tortilla. Or...aw heck. I just like it ALL! (Well, almost all. I have yet to figure out why brussels sprouts exist.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:17 AM I can hear the strains of a haunting melody faintly drifting in through the back door of the kitchen. I open the door and follow the sound. Down the back-alley and around the corner I find a pair of buskers playing a beautiful tune on an accordion and a fiddle. I stand, transfixed by the music... HEY! Who's grabbing my arm!? Hey! That hurts! What do you mean you're taking me down to the station? Impersonating an officer and indecent exposure? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Hey guys! Can someone come bail me out? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 12 Dec 00 - 12:26 AM You've just gotta see about getting that hearing checked, Carol. The charge was: exposing an officer and impersonating indecency. It was a trumped up charge because they like to lock up as many accordian players as possible. There's no bail involved; but a bit of bribery is required. You'll be released in a few minutes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 12 Dec 00 - 03:58 AM Hey Susan, I'll have some of those grits but only with an egg, over easy, served on top of them. Yum!
Someone hollared for the cops, they busted down the door, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 12 Dec 00 - 06:46 AM Brett, is that the one that starts " The night that Paddy Murphy died is a night I'll never forget All the lads got roaring drunk Theres some not sober yet ?????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Date: 12 Dec 00 - 06:50 AM Yeah! I stole it off a cassette and have never heard it since. I would love to get the chords for it. I'm planning that for a future thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:41 AM Hey, could someone please do a Blicky for this thread to a continuation? I would if I could. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:42 AM So where did the weekend go? Has anyone seen my legs?? Gervase, I have a soft spot for my mother in law.
Grimpen Mire!! There is a cat asleep on the other end of the keyboard, and she has a faint aroma of vinegar about her.... is this anything to do with you, Morty?? And what have you done with Gomez?? Is is cocktail hour yet?? Anyone for a Long slow screw against the wall?? LTS
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Gervase Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:54 AM I'm a bit dubious about these 'ere gritty things. Sounds to me like chomping gravel. How's about some pork scratchings instead - get me seven or eight bags and a tube of glue, and I'll make you an AIrfix pig! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Greyeyes Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM Click here for part 2.The debauchery continues |
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 12 Dec 00 - 09:00 AM Send a little message to you...I'm gonna get out of heeeeeeeeeerrrrrreeeeee. Gomez.
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Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Date: 12 Dec 00 - 11:25 PM Ah, a bit more red wine, (like last night) and now it's time for friiied grits (Mom always put the leftover grits in an orange juice can then cut them into rounds the next day and fried them in bacon grease. Mmmm. Just got back from fiddle session, and I think the wine was stronger than usual. Good tunes though. Anyone here know Elsic's Fairewell?? |