How to cope with a huge workload

Subject: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:09 AM

I need help!!! I've got WAY too much on at college and I just can't cope. I'm doing 4 A Levels (English, German, Psychology and Theatre Studies), AND a GCSE retake (Maths) and an additional subject for the pure hell of it (Spanish). Add to this Key Skills (Maths, IT and Communication) and you've got a recipe for a nervous breakdown! I'm actually wanting to drop Spanish but I don't know how to tell the parents.

One more thing to say.....HELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:17 AM

I'm sure your parents would rather have someone who sensibly wanted to reduce the workload to get better grades in the others, rather than a dribbling fruitcake, who plays with bits of coloured string..... face up, tell them you want quality not quantity, and drop the one you are least likely to miss (personally that would be the Spanish - at least you can nap in theatre studies....)

LTS

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:24 AM

Firecat, best thing I've found is to be honest. Maybe it would help to tell your parents how you are feeling about your workload being way too much for you to handle. Ask your parents for their advice on what you can do to lighten up the load. See if they come up with the suggestion to drop a course or maybe your parents will come up with an even wiser suggestion.
I've always found it best to be up front even if I am shaking in my booties.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:25 AM

Liz, I can't doze off in Theatre Studies. I LIKE Theatre Studies. It's fun!! I HATE the rest. I actually transferred from IT to Psychology because it was the best of a bad lot.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:27 AM

Little Neo, thanks for the advice. This is what comes of being the daughter of 2 teachers!! They expect me to be brilliant and I'm not!!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:27 AM

Relax! Organisation is really important so have organised notes and folders and notebooks for each subject. Draw up lists. If you're just doing Spanish as an extra, you can always come back to it later. Organise your time wisely. Write lists for everything. Don't panic about what you need to do, just get everything sorted and do it. Worrying about it means you're more likely to put it off as you're feeling overwhelmed. Even if you make a small start on something, you're reducing the total that you need to do. Once you get started, it gets easier.
It's better to be refreshed and calm than panicking and tired, so get enough sleep, go for walks when your brain hurts (just small walks!) and if you're really stuck on something, put it to one side, do something else for a bit and then come back to it. All in all, have a well set out study space and well sorted notes. Not only does it help you keep track of things, but the psychological boost of knowing that you're in control is amazing. I find that taking Vitamin B Complex is really good when you're stressing. Lastly, don't do what I do (i.e. - spend all day on the Internet, pretending that it's a valuable research tool). Good luck!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:32 AM

Liz, I've just re read your posting. I do play with bits of coloured string. AND I suck my fum!!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:33 AM

I spend so long organising my work place/desk, that I don't have time to do any work!!! The lure of folders can be deceptive, don't go overboard....

Remember, procrastination is the thief of time.

LTS

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:37 AM

Well Firecat, being the daughter of 2 uneducated parents, they expect me to be stupid but I am not.


Little Neo

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:44 AM

Aaaah, thanks, Little Neo!!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Bagpuss
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:52 AM

I did my university dissertation on procrastination...

Your first mistake was doing 4 real A-levels. I can sound clever by telling people I have four, but don't let them know that one of them was the really easy general studies.

Are you sure that all this pressure to be doing so much comes from your parents? It's more likely that it's pressure you have put on yourself, because it is what you think they expect. Four A-levels plus extra classes really is a heavy workload for just about anyone - and as teachers, your parents should know that. Maybe if you talk to your parents you will find that they have been just as worried about the load you have taken on. But they didn't want to say anything in case it sounded like they were putting you down by saying you couldn't cope. I think this is a time for a discussion with your paerents and the head of sixth form to try and work out whats best. Its better to get 3 very good a-levels, than burn yourself out and do badly in all of them.

Hope this has been some help.

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 06:56 AM

Thanks Bagpuss! I have actually had words with my personal tutor and the careers adviser and they both say that they'll back me up when I talk to my parents.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: JulieF
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 07:08 AM

I sure that your parents will support you in what you want to do. One line of approach may be to relate what you are doing to what you want to do with your life so that your parents can see that you have really thought it through. What you have to remember is that these years should not be all work,work, work and you have to enjoy yourself as well.

We're just going through the GCSE work panic with our daughter so I'm looking forward to the A Level Stage.

All the best

Julie

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 07:16 AM

Firecat, one of the most important things you will EVER learn is how to use time wisely, and how to prioritise....getting this skill down now will save much heartache in Uni.Your parents will know this too and be proud of you for looking at your workload and making sensible decsions as to what is practical and what is not.All parents ever really want.....and I know, I've just been through all of this, is for their children to be healthy, happy and sane.....the rest is mince and triv, trust me, I'm a mother.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Bagpuss
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 07:27 AM

One other thing, if you ever have particular problems with your psychology (unless you dop it - as it seems to be the one you have to make up the numbers....), give me a shout (PM me). Thats my subject. I'm not an expert in all areas, but there are some areas I might be able to give you a few pointers.

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 09:45 AM

Thanks againa Bagpuss! I didn't realise you were a psychologist!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Peter T.
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 10:33 AM

Professors are not supposed to say this, but keep in mind that it is not the end of the world if you can't do everything perfectly now. It is much, much better to learn a few things well, and in depth, than to scatter. There are two reasons for this: one is that there is a threshold in almost every subject where deep learning begins. It is completely different than ordinary learning. The second reason is related to the first: once you have learned how to learn deeply in one subject, almost all the others are much simpler. You stop wasting time in those subjects, learn how to focus, sort out what has to be memorized, sift evidence, and so on. This is the whole purpose of specialized learning in university, which has been completely warped by the idea that specialization is for pedants, or for credentials or a job. If you can learn one thing well, and learn how you learned that one thing, you can learn almost anything. Except statistics (joke).

That is why, for instance, we have people on this site who are deeply educated, but have never set foot in university. They learned how to play music well and think deeply in their own way about it: and that makes them pretty wise, in my books anyway.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Bagpuss
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 12:00 PM

Hey - I like statistics!!!!!!

:-)

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Melani
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 01:31 PM

Firecat--thanks for the inspiration! The stuff I was feeling overwhelmed by looks pretty easy now. The important thing is to have as happy a life as you can manage. My daughter has just gotten a report card consisting entirely of A's and D's--very weird, but overall not a bad grade point average. I guess that should give her a hint as to what direction she should go in--go for what you're good at and enjoy.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: GUEST,MTed
Date: 11 Dec 00 - 03:48 PM

A big part of the learning process is learning what your own thresholds and limits are--lists and organization are necessary tools but they are hardly the substance of scholarship--the problem that you face is that you must discover how to create and re-create the situation in which you do your best work--the pressure that you feel is important, because it tells you that you are beyond your limit right now--

When you want to play music that you can't play, you have to create more space for yourself, eliminate extranous and superfluous movements, optimize fingerings, polish your attack, slow the tempo til it is maneagable, then build it up to speed again--Wnen everything falls apart, you step back and rethink it in a way that you can keep together--If you play music, you can do this, and if you can do this, you can apply the approach to anything else (paticularly academics) to very good effect--

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 04:23 AM

Glad my problem helped you, Melani!

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 06:25 AM

Sooooooo Firecat, did you speak to your parents?
When I wanted to drop some courses in university because my work load was too much I was so scared to tell them that I waited until my parents went down to Florida. I broke the news to them over the phone long distance so that they would be a good hollering distance away.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:32 AM

Er, no I haven't had words yet, Little Neo!! I've had words with my personal tutor and I've decided to drop Spanish. Now is the terror of telling the parents!!

Wish me luck :-@

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:55 AM

You've gotten great advice here and I must concur that our expectations often do not match the reality. From the sound of things, your parents are quite proud of you and nothing you will do that seems as sensible as this will undermine their confidence or their pride.......this decision may even enhance your standing as an adult in their eyes and if they are in the least saddened, it will be because they can see their "child" is a child no more.....always tough for a parent.

Spaw

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Hollowfox
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 04:44 PM

Beside all the ggood advice given above, talk to your teacher(s). If you're having trouble in a subject, they can give advice, tips on how to look at the subject, point you toward a tutor, any number of things. I've known many a college professor here in the USA to say of a student,"If only they'd asked..."
Talking to your parents about choosing your scholastic battles wisely is a Very Good Idea. I tried to tough it out, and ended up with mononucleosis from the stress.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Ely
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 05:10 PM

Take a deep breath and drop something.

The first semester of my senior year, I found myself with a schedule conflict that was going to keep me from taking a history class and an anthro class that I'd wanted to take for three years (I was a biology major). I also had two bio classes that I was NOT looking forward to--between them, they required a total of 3, 4-hour-plus labs per week. The college I attended is notorious for its heavy workload; they implemented a week-long fall break about 15 years ago in an effort to reduce the suicide rate (this in spite of being a small school with lots of one-on-one attention). After not sleeping for two nights running, I called my mother in tears to tell her I didn't want to be a biology major any more. I had been staying up late for three years, had no spare time to depressurize, went home deathly ill every semester from sheer exhaustion; I have good study habits and never partied and it still didn't save me. I was sure she'd be furious with me for bailing out at the last moment.

She said, "OK."

It's not as scary as it looks, and it will help you a lot with your remaining classes.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: pict
Date: 12 Dec 00 - 08:07 PM

On the other hand I got expelled from school and I've never regretted it ever,I hated the place,the teachers doubly so and never learned a thing worth knowing and most people would never consider me to be stupid or ignorant.I've got a happy family (4 young daughters) a small farm,my own recording setup,loads of instruments and I've travelled a bit.

The academic route is not the only route to take in life don't fall into the trap of feeling it is if you need a break take one and if your parents can't understand that well they'll just have to lump it it's your life don't live it for your parents or anyone else except yourself.My approach after several years of not having a clue was to really examine what I wanted out of life once I found out what that was I went about finding ways to make my wished for situation become my reality and honestly the only education that ever helped me was the education I gained by myself,being aware of what you want and need will help you make the right choices and to see opportunities when others don't, it's your horse take the reins and learn to ride it.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 06:30 AM

Hollowfox, what's mononucleosis? (lovely word!)

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 06:32 AM

Sooooo Firecat, did you tell them yet?
(I'm just teasing you Firecat)

Little Neo who does wish you lots of success with this. Some things can feel pretty scary, but in truth I bet you will feel a whole lot better when you express to your parents how you feel and see it all turns out okay.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Bagpuss
Date: 13 Dec 00 - 09:19 AM

I think mono is known in the UK as glandular fever....aka kissing disease....

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: P05139
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 07:02 AM

Well, I haven't got it!!!

Sorry for taking ages to answer.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:04 PM

(This is really Ferrara using Bill D's log-on...)

Firecat, if you haven't talked to your parents yet, I'd like to suggest that you seem to feel terribly guilty and apologetic and it would be better all around if you realized that you don't need to feel that way at all! You have approached this in a very mature way and are making a reasoned, mature decision from my point of view and apparently from the point of view of your advisor and teachers as well.

So, when you think about talking to your parents, think of yourself as discussing it from one adult to another. You're informing them of a problem that existed, of the process you went through to resolve it and the action you decided to take. No guilt. No apology. Just letting them know what's going on in your life.

This is your life and your future you're working with. You are handling a heavy work load very well. Keep that in your mind when you talk to them.

You don't need to feel guilty or apologetic for taking reasonable action to safeguard your physical and mental health and also your academic future.

Subject: RE: How to cope with a huge workload
From: annamill
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 01:21 PM

Farrara, I fully agree with you. When my son decided to drop a class at culinary school, I had my doubts and expressed them in no uncertain terms. Turned out he took another simpler course that better prepared him for the course he had dropped. He didn't ask for my permission at all. He just did what he felt was best and it worked out fine and my respect for his decision making processes went up considerably. You have to do whats best for you at this point.

Love, annamill