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Words that are NOT nice to hear?
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Subject: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: The Shambles Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:59 AM Wake up. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Ribbit Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:13 AM "Greetings your friends and neighbors have chosen you..." At least thats what my draft notice said. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: John Hardly Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:50 AM "...we'll have to lance that..." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Joe Offer Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:57 AM Why haven't you finished that yet? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Ribbit Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:02 AM "This flight has been overbooked" or "your flight has been delayed" especially at this time of year. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Troll Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:06 AM "Some assembly required" "Batteries not included" "The car is making this funny noise" troll |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:21 AM "I'm married" After he told me he was not. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:32 AM " I have developed this itch/discharge in a very personal area, and I thought you ought to know right away." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Allan C. Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:45 AM There's another Time/Life book that needs to be picked up at the post office. You have already won...(IF you send in the winning entry). (Doctor) Because of certain vitamin deficiencies you must eat a pint of brussels sprouts every day. Your computer's CD player has developed an odd glitch and is somehow only able to play Wayne Newton MP3's. Two thumbs up! (Give me a break...there just aren't that many good movies in the world.) Your call is important to us...There are 15 callers ahead of you. You may expect a 28-minute wait. I hope you didn't eat that. It was so old I was afraid to throw it out for the dog. Temperatures will remain in the single digits for the next six days. (Doctor) I've never seen or heard of anything remotely like that before. (Doctor) Whatever it is, it is spreading incredibly quickly. There is not sufficient memory available to run this program. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jock Morris Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:49 AM "I'm sorry, but your Mum's dead." Five years ago today and it still hurts like hell. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: bigchuck Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:02 AM Sigmoidoscopy |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:18 AM There is three feet of snow..Buses are not running, however, school is open' Are you the head of the household ? Good Morning, This is Revenue Canada calling.
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: MMario Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:21 AM the absolute worst.... Error 404 - file not found www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:24 AM Oh that's a good one MMario |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:27 AM Hello, is that Mr (mispronounces surname), I'm Trcaey/Wayne calling from **** doubleglazing..... RtS |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Grab Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:32 AM Proctologist. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: alison Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:40 AM I assume you fellas don't like "awww, don't worry, it doesn't matter, I'm sure it happens to other men sometimes too." *grin* slainte alison |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Kim C Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:42 AM This won't hurt a bit. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:45 AM My surveyor would like to send your lawyer a card in return. He's not sure whether it will open or not, he can't guarantee that it is made of genuine cardboard and he hasn't checked any wiring, plumbing or drainage, if present. He doesn't know if it has paper mites or fungal infestation. He can't be held responsible for any loss or injury caused by his advice though he thinks it is worth about 50pence but advises you get your own surveyor to look at it. His bill is in the post. RtS |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM I think I better check into the NYCFTTS over Xmas! I posted this to the WRONG thread! Back on the 3rd Jan, folks, have a good one. RtS |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Crazy Eddie Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:49 AM "Yes, your bum does look big in that!" "Ladies & Gentlemen, there is no cause for panic" "Enlisted person [insert name here], you will accompany Mr. Spok, Doctor McCoy, and me, to the surface of this apparantly safe & uninhabited planet" "We can still be friends"
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,big__bad__b Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:58 AM There's a week until Christmas, and the mall roof collapsed. (I live in Sarnia On. If you haven's heard, this actually happened last week!!) |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Midchuck Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:03 AM "Our budget won't permit us to pay you anything for playing, but it's great exposure for you." P. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Kim C Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:07 AM I'm from the Government - I'm here to help you. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Arkie Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:08 AM "You can't miss it", after just giving directions. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:15 AM This is your Captain speaking... RtS |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Sorcha Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:26 AM "The United States Army regrets to inform you......." PAP smear. Mammogram. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Hollowfox Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:29 AM Ooops... |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Bill D Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:31 AM "that part is back-ordered" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:40 AM "Let's be friends." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:43 AM "Hmmmm.......I'm afraid they should have repaired that mitral valve during the bypass." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM "It's malignant" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: MMario Date: 20 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM Error Occurred While Processing Request Error Diagnostic Information Error occurred while attempting to start service. Windows NT error number 1056 occurred. HTTP/1.0 200 OK Date: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 17:39:17 GMT Server: WebSitePro/2.5.4 Accept-ranges: bytes Content-type: text/html Expires: 0 Pragma: no-cache Cache-control: no-cache, no-store, must-revalidate
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Clinton Hammond2 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:04 PM Mudcat... |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: annamill Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:16 PM "Patrick was born with a coarctation of the aorta, a main artery coming out of the heart." In deferance to WesleyS. I'm thinking of ya. Love, annamill |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: mousethief Date: 20 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM Re: kids ---Mom, make him stop doing that. ---The quarter grade doesn't matter because it doesn't show up on my transcript. ---We need to have a talk about your son.
Re: work
Re: spouse
Re: eating out
Re: the men in blue
Re: radio traffic reports Alex |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: voyager Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:06 PM "you have the right to remain silent" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:09 PM I think what Wes heard is way beyone "not nice," and goes into the realm of terrifying. Annamill, thanks for remembering him. I hope little Patrick is doing better today. On death announcements, the hospital called at 2:30 in the morning to tell me my mother had passed. I knew before I picked up the phone - why else would anyone call at 2:30 AM? I remember wondering how long they were going to beat around the bush before they got to it. They didn't. They told me right away, then stayed on the phone in case I had any questions. They also told me her heart apparently just stopped when she was asleep - no pain, no struggle. It's thread creep I know, but these things are just as "not nice" to say as they are to hear, Crazy Eddie, you'd think those enlisted guys on Star Trek would have figured it out by the end of the first season. "No Captain, sorry. You're going to beam me down there and the alien monster that doesn't show up on scanners because he's immitating a rock is going to appear out of nowhere and suck my brains out. I'll scream, you'll all come running, but...nope, no way am I going down to that planet!" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: CamiSu Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:28 PM Oh Jeri! Here's a long hug! I'm so sorry, BUT I'm glad it seems that she did not suffer. (my Dad's passing was not so peaceful, so I know) And now I pray for you (and your mum and her next adventure) and Patrick. CamiSu |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:49 PM "I want to seperate" "your dad died" "your mom died" "sorry, I can't help you" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: campfire Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM "But..." campfire |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:15 PM "Don't panic"
"There's nothing to worry about but..."
"You're well enough to go back to work"
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Caitrin Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:28 PM Re: school "What's not to get?" "It's not that hard!" "Due tomorrow." "Ecoute et repete, Catrine... Re: cars "It's the transmission." "Where's -this- go?" "Oops." Re: parents "Well, -life's- not fair." "When I say eleven, I mean -eleven-. Not 11:30, not 11:15..." "What were you -thinking-!?" You weren't. "You didn't forget the "How many times do I have to tell you...?" Re: Relationships "I have a girlfriend." "This just isn't working out." "I want to say I love you but I can't." "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bed?" Re: Space "I can't do that, Dave." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST Date: 20 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM After sending in a beer sample to the state lab for certification - "Dear Sir, we're sorry to inform you that your horse has diabetes !" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: SDShad Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM "Here. Smell this." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Rowana (at work) Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM "We expect to achieve these staff reductions through attrition." (My REALLY big communications company merged with another company in June which resulted in a combined workforce of 260,000 people. The exec officers want less people. You KNOW that tens of thousands will not be retiring! Guess what happens next.) Hiding under my desk with 4 1/2 months until I'm pension eligible, Rowana |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Mickey191 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 04:54 PM Voice on phone,"Your Chimney's on fire." "You've got a flat." "I smell something burning" 'We'll only stay a few minutes." "I think it's broken" "oh, it won"t cost much." "Do you know how fast you were going?" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Date: 20 Dec 00 - 05:55 PM From school: (and I quote) "I strongly suggest you improve your drawing ability." "The scale of your large leterform is so big that it doesn't leave much left to do interesting things with in the interaction between the two letterforms. I would suggest reducing the scale and going back into the investigation searching for greater interest in these compositions. These compositions are thin in interest. Centering one letterform in two out of three also stagnates the composition. UNACCEPTABLE." Oh, the life of an graphic art student!
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Clinton Hammond2 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:03 PM I did this to a chum once while cleaing out a house we were moving into.. he was upstairs, I was in the basement... He heard my voice come up torugh the the floor... "Hey Ev... does this look like an egg-sack to you?!?" ;-) |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Melani Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:06 PM "May I see your driver's license?" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: kendall Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:15 PM How long have you worked here, not counting tomorrow? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:28 PM " We have to take the circular saw apart and try and find the fingers in case they can sew them back, and you have to supervise as the investigating Safety officer". |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 20 Dec 00 - 07:55 PM Matt R - but at least the buggers can't write good clear English can they? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Date: 20 Dec 00 - 08:41 PM Ha ha, I know! As I have said before, being an all-around grammar, I love messing around with graphic artista who can't use simple grammatical rules! But the teacher who wrote the above said having good graphic design skills as well as being an excellent in grammar will take you very far! I got the grammar...but I'm still working on the graphic part! But sometimes silence is something you don't want to hear either! When we have our crits in CA class, if someone doesn't even mention your piece....very bad news! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jim Dixon Date: 20 Dec 00 - 08:43 PM OK, Mr. Dixon, could you drop your shorts and turn around and bend over the examining table? Oops! Sorry, I guess we'll have to wait a little longer for that to go numb. Hello, Mr. Dixon. How are you today? … Did I catch you at a good time? Now, I don't want you to get alarmed. These things are usually not serious. We need to talk. I didn't think you'd mind. Will the owner of a red Honda Civic, license number . . .? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:12 PM Micca, that one is beyond NOT nice, its gross. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:27 PM "Daddy I got a BBLLEEAAHH....***gack***....BBLLEAAHH.... Ihave to thro......BBLLEEAAHHHKK....cough..kuckuck.....BBLLEEAAHH... I'm sick....." Best I can do at a 5 year old coming into your bedroom and throwing up. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:29 PM Well, I'm in deep doo-doo. I owe people an apology. I wasn't very clear on what I wrote about my mom. I wrote "the hospital called at 2:30 in the morning," and I should have said that morning was 7 1/2 years ago. To those of you who expressed sympathy, it still means a lot to me. The time I went through back then was sheer hell. I was alone and handled everything on my own for the nearly two months she was in the hospital before her death, and what happened after it. I'm very sorry for causing anyone to feel bad - we've had too much pain here already, but I thank you for thinking of me. If I had had Mudcat and my friends here back then, I would have felt a lot less alone. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:35 PM Glad you came back Jeri.......I knew what you meant, but only because it had come up before and I thought about saying something to CamiSu but didn't feel right about me doing it. And I'm with you of course on the friends we have here........and we have had too much sadness of late. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: kendall Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:38 PM Matt..shouldn't that have read "I HAVE the grammar"? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Song Dog Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:49 PM NO! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jeri Date: 20 Dec 00 - 09:53 PM Thanks, Spaw. I feel incredibly stupid about this, and terrible about causing people to feel bad. I only suspected something wasn't right when I started getting sympathy messages on ICQ. CamiSu wasn't the only one who I misled. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Amos Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:00 PM Words that are not nice to hear include "postmortem", "abeyance", "postprandial", "virulent", "herewith and hereafter and aforementioned", "legality", administrative, procedural, cowed, terror, and psychotic. Nasty rough or false little noises. "Appropriate" and "resolution" and "finalize" give me the vapors as well. A |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:28 PM "Is it in?" All the best. Seamus |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Sorcha Date: 20 Dec 00 - 11:34 PM uhhhh, true story here, Micca's post reminded me of a time some years back when I was Houskeeping in a hospital....and ER was on my rota. First we got in a patient who had lost a foot.......in a grain auger. You got it, lots of gore. I cleaned up the mess.....including wheat swollen by blood. Then we got in the grain truck that was recieving the augered grain.........not fun to hear "Housekeeping, to ER, please.." |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Little Neophyte Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:34 AM Seamus, that was pretty funny. How about........'Oh shit, it broke' |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Dave the Gnome Date: 21 Dec 00 - 09:19 AM And of course over here in England there are those words dreaded by drinkers everywhere... "Time gentlemen please" Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Noreen Date: 21 Dec 00 - 11:46 AM LOL Seamus!! Err, no, don't take that off... |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: mousethief Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:15 PM with THAT?! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jimmy C Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:26 PM "Do you know any good lawyers ?" "The mechanic wants to speak to you". " Can you come into my office for a moment - right now !" " The last bus left 10 minutes ago" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Jimmy C Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:30 PM A few more ! "Does this make me look fat ?" "What age do you think I am ?" "My mother's coming for the holidays " |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Micca Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:40 PM Bonnie, Gross that might be but it was said to me some years ago,and I had to carry out the search....and start the investigation, then chair the inquiry... |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Noreen Date: 21 Dec 00 - 12:53 PM What, AGAIN?? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Caitrin Date: 21 Dec 00 - 06:56 PM Micca, I have to ask...how on -earth- did someone manage to lose fingers on a circular saw? I mean, I can see it on a table saw; it's a bit -too- easy to lose fingers on those babies. But a circular saw? |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,Midget Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:09 PM "Is IT in, yet?" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Matt_R Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:34 PM Cait....believe me, it is VERY VERY easy. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Irish sergeant Date: 22 Dec 00 - 05:21 PM Hi Boys and Girls! Words that aren't nice to hear? Where do I start. "We're going on a five day training cruise. Pack for six months." My division officer said those words right before we sailed for Operation Desert Storm. "State for the tribunal, your name, rank, serial number and duty station.." "This is for your own good" Any time I hear that I know the speaker is definately not interested in my wefare. "Business is slow. We have to let you go." "Man overboard! This is not a drill all hands report to their station for muster. I repeat..." "General Quarters! General Quarters! This is not a drill! all hands man your battle stations! Go up and forward on the starboard side! Down and afft on the port, This is not a drill!" There are other but I won't go there others have covered those topics. Jeri, please be assured you have created nop enemies here. I knew you weren't talking about the here and now because of the sensitive nature of the subject. My parents have both been dead for over thirty years and there isn't a day goes by that they aren't in my mind. My sympathy for your loss. Kindest reguards to all and a very happy holiday season, Neil PS- the last paragraph isn't part of our collabrative collection-Irish Sergeant. |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 23 Dec 00 - 01:28 AM When have I ever lied to you before? There's always a few parts left when we put it back together. Step out of the car, sir! Rich |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Martin Graebe Date: 23 Dec 00 - 03:37 AM Darling, we've got to meet. I've got something important to tell you! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: widowmaker Date: 23 Dec 00 - 04:48 AM "We need to talk" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Firecat Date: 23 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM I definately think that, with the length of time me and my boyf. have been together (Nearly 4 years!) "It's over" wouldn't be very nice. I think I've also got him to join Mudcat but I'll have to check in January!! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: GUEST,NH Dave Date: 23 Dec 00 - 06:05 PM From your boss to you as the Chief of Safety "Hey, Dave, you know that can crusher we put in the hall outside of the XXXXX? Well, you better come on down here."
Cait, it is even easier to loose a couple of fingers in a simple manually operated can crusher, believe me!
And then the next user discovered that we had not considered the possibility of the finger ends still being in the bottom of the can crusher, calling to ask me to come down and see what he found in the bottom of the can crusher. Dave |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Don Firth Date: 23 Dec 00 - 06:36 PM When your barber/dentist/doctor says "Oops!" When a friend slips a business card partway under the bridge saddle of your expensive classic guitar and says, "Hmm . . . looks like it's coming unglued from the soundboard." When the last two words in a six page opinion from the Washington State Appellate Court says of a ruling made by the Superior Court of King County, "decision reversed." (There's a story behind that one, but it's not over yet.) Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Dave Wynn Date: 23 Dec 00 - 06:38 PM It's no use talking to him about his driving officer...It goes in one ear and out the other when he's pissed....! |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Zebedee Date: 23 Dec 00 - 06:44 PM "Sit down, I'm sorry to have to say this, but tests show that it's a malignant cancer" |
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Subject: RE: Words that are NOT nice to hear? From: Zebedee Date: 23 Dec 00 - 06:44 PM "Sit down, I'm sorry to have to say this, but tests show that it's a malignant cancer" |
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