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The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000
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Subject: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Peter T. Date: 21 Dec 00 - 05:28 PM Flakes of virtual snow, in the size of your dream snow of the season, whether large and slow, or small and swirly, descend over the picturesque town of Mudcatville, where, due to the efforts of the elfin Max and Bert, a somewhat musical silence pervades each district. This seems to be due to the strange physical properties of the town that deflect all manufactured messages of Christmas buying and selling, as well as all versions of "The Little Drummer Boy". Instead, through most windows can be seen families and friends singing and playing instruments, and giving that most precious of all thoughtful gifts of pleasure and delight -- treasured company. In certain corners of Mudcatville, various threads have already hinted at Christmas pleasures, and parodies of Mudcat Christmases portend amusement. But for some, the waning of the old year, and the expectation of the new, can only truly be appreciated at the Mudcat Tavern/Arms/Taverna/Cafe/Cantina/Bowling Alley/Pub/Malt Shop, whose various incarnations through the years have -- like some genie of the lamp -- transformed the common space into the needed shelter from the storms and travails of everyday life, in differing forms responding to direst need. On this evening, snowsprinkled, we follow one denizen of that sacred Mudcat Tavern, as he wends his way through the darkening city streets. He seems not only to be bundled against the cold, but indeed bundled against life, so wrapped and parcelled is he. Upon closer examination, the somewhat dubious figure can be seen to be carrying a large box, daubed in green and red, in a gesture towards the season. Stencilled over the lid of the box is the following obscure signage: "SAD-O-METRIC CHRISTMAS JOLLIES GENERATOR -- AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS!" After a further stroll, the bundled figure reaches a familiar door, over which the MUDCAT logo sways, in time, it appears, to the raucous noises that emanante from within. In short, the Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 is underway. The laden-down figure gingerly opens the door -- the sounds of warmth hurtle out into the night -- and enters. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: katlaughing Date: 21 Dec 00 - 06:11 PM aside: Bravo, Peter! I've got my think-creative hat on! Be back later....kat |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Caitrin Date: 21 Dec 00 - 06:37 PM "Come on in!" a tall-ish auburn-haired girl calls from the hallway, where she's entering the main room. "You're just in time for warm Kahlua cookies!" |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: CarolC Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:25 PM Thank you Peter T. I am sitting over by the fire, softly playing beautiful melodies on my precious Italian accordion. I look up occasionally to look at the warm and glowing faces of my friends. And I feel thankful to know such people and to enjoy words and beautiful music (and life) with them... Carol |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 21 Dec 00 - 07:27 PM Good Lord...has it really been a year since we were all here together? How time flies... May the next year be brighter for all of us. --Matt |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,Ghost of Christmas Past Date: 21 Dec 00 - 08:20 PM In a dark alley behind the Mudcat Cafe,where snow is softening the sharp edges of dumpsters,trash cans,and empty cardboard boxes,a pair of battered black shoes and ragged trousers stick out from an unidentifiable stack of debris.These belong to a very old and odorous man who has sought shelter here to sip from a paper-wrapped bottle of cheap wine,and to conjure dreams from the clouds of snow-steam which rises from the grates beside him.He is any one of a thousand rumpled souls you might encounter as they panhandle the daylight streets,slump on the park benches,or stand in line at the shelter,seeming to acknowledge nothing,to merely exist. But he has his own history,and it is haunted with his own ghosts. They approach him now through the rising steam and spinning snowflakes,and he speaks to these apparitions in a low voice.Foremost among them is his wife,who he has not seen since her death so many years ago.She sits beside him,heedless of the snow and cold,and takes his rag-cloaked fingers in her own hands,warming him."Merry Christmas," he says to her,and two bundled figures,passing the dark alley entrance mistake that he has spoken to them,and they hurry their steps. He turns again to the wine,as a chorus of voices reach him through the wall of the tavern.The song is familiar,and he turns to her to ask the name of it,but he is alone there,and he remembers. Were you to pass the dark opening of this alley,gaily burdened with your packages and wearing the glow from a cup of Christmas cheer,you may hear beyond the happy voices emanating from the Mudcat Tavern,a quieter voice,weak but not bereft of the joy of the season."Silent Night",it calls,"Holy Night." And that voice seems to come from the falling snow itself. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 21 Dec 00 - 08:35 PM Like I don't know who the Ghost is!!! |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: CarolC Date: 22 Dec 00 - 06:23 AM Wow, Ghost of Christmas Past, you really know how to clear a room! |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Dave the Gnome Date: 22 Dec 00 - 06:43 AM A gaudily clad figure appears in the alley. Wrapped in layers of red and green with tinsel and bows in gay profusion. She flickers in and out of the half light with an eerie luminescence hinting at darker ethereal origins. She smiles happily at all the passers by wishing them seasons greetings and begging for them to take her home. The blinds at the window of the Mudat cafe twich open as one of the elves peers into the twighlit snow at the mysterious sight. "Do you think we should ask her in?" he asks "Bugger that for a game of soldiers" responds Dave the Gnome with his usual tact and diplomacy. "It's only the ghost of Christmas present....." |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: mkebenn Date: 22 Dec 00 - 07:53 AM I'm sitting in a corner with only my wife listening to me try to play "Coal tattoo" after too much wiskey AGAIN. Mike |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: KingBrilliant Date: 22 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM KB nips in - wishes you all a merry christmas and a happy new year. Leaps about excitedly for a bit, then charges off into the snowy outdoors to sing in the dark & banter with passing celebrants. Have a great Christmas everyone, from KB, Hammerite & Mark. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MMario Date: 22 Dec 00 - 09:00 AM Carol, know any carols? Now that I've plopped myself down on these cushions by the fire I don't intend to move for a while. I can reach the kettles I've got over the fire from here, one a pot of mulled cider - the other a big kettle of tortellini en Brodo Should be ready soon. Meanwhile I'll just keep working on these baby afghans for Brendan and Patrick. Away in a manger, no crib for a bed... |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: catspaw49 Date: 22 Dec 00 - 09:04 AM Mario?........Manger?..............Geeziz, must be one helluva' big manger................. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MMario Date: 22 Dec 00 - 09:28 AM I got the "aurochs sized" manger 'spaw. But t'hell with the hay and straw. I filled this one up with cotton batting. MUCH more comfy... "Hedgehog estes defero, Hedghog luades Domino!" |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Jim the Bart Date: 22 Dec 00 - 10:33 AM Sitting on a small bench near the fire is a big man with a round face and quick eyes, that seem to take in all the various activities around the room at once. He only stopped in for a quick toddy but the liveliness of the company makes him loathe to leave. He knows that they will be looking for him at home. He enjoys observing the clear affection that this odd mix of people has for each other. He remembers past years and other taverns where similar groups of friends came together to share a laugh and a song. He knows too well that these moments are fleeting and must be cherished; the tides of life have a way of breaking this sort of gathering apart. He lifts his glass once and toasts to those friends he remembers from Christmases long past. He moves to the bar (both to refill his glass and to begin the movement that will eventually lead him home) and joins a conversation about the recent election. When the rhetoric begins to grow heated, he proposes a toast to the new president, and to all of our leaders, hoping that they find the wisdom to govern well. Another round is bought and they toast each other, agreeing to respectfully disagree and continue the dialogue in the new year. But it is growing late, and as grim as the prospect of facing the cold biting winds outside, it is time to head for home and family. His sister and her brood will be arriving shortly from Toronto. His brother (whose wife will be delivering their first child at any time) and three other sisters and their families will gather to share another Christmas dinner at their parent's home. The thought of the merriment ahead(and the effect of the toasting) brings a twinkle to his eye and braces him for the journey ahead. It makes leaving bearable. Before he goes he shakes some hands and buys a round for the house. He leaves some coins to pay for any poor man who may need the help later. He toasts once more to the health of all who frequent this place and wishes all of them well. "May you find health and happiness, wherever you are during this blessed season and whatever you choose to do in the coming year." Merry Christmas. Happy Hannukah. Glorious Kwanzaa. Holy Ramadan. Blessed Tet. Peaceful Solstice. Fabulous Festivus. Bart |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Kim C Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:28 AM Whiskey Cat is needing the whole bottle right about now, and a soft place. MMario, can I borrow that manger for a bit? |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MMario Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:38 AM *rolls over, out of manger onto pile of quilts and duvets* sure. Could someone check the christmas hippo? Is three days at 350 F. enough do you think, or should I turn the oven up? The basting sauce and a mop to apply it with are next to the oven on the counter. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Peter T. Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:49 AM As the bundled up figure entered the Mudcat Arms, the bundling visibly began to unravel, or perhaps expand in the familial heat. The figure also appeared to mimic this unspiralling deshabillation, but clearly held himself together long enough to reach a corner bar stool. He propped his parcel upon the bar, and breathed a sigh, which caused much of his costume to uncoil visibly onto the floor beneath. "Bartender? Estimable sir?" The wily bartender, who resembled nothing more or less than LEJ, moved edgily towards him, recalling not altogether fondly, the many previous Hail-fellow-well-mets he had endured with this intinerant tinkerer. "Might I prevail upon you for a glass of Christmas cheer, in exchange for which I am prepared to unleash the next wonder of the world upon your festive flock?" It being the Christmas season, LEJ forbore to grumble, and merely said: "This is not the weepie machine is it? No "He Stopped Loving Her Today?"?" The dubious figure smiled in his unravelling way: "No, no, this is the newest feat of internanotechnology -- A Christmas Jollies Generator!! More fun than watching Big Mick pursue THE FAIR ONE!! More thrills than JenEllen worming a dog!!! You see, revered sir" -- and warming to his task, he unscrewed the front lid of the box in front of him -- "What we have here is a subnuclear cracker device: you see this cylinder suspended horizontally in the middle and connected at both its ends to these pressurized tension grips: in the heart of the cylinder are all the good things that have been contributed to the Mudcat during the previous year, the jokes, the games, the ridiculous contests, the joviality, the meetings, the exchange of musical fluids, etc. I need only press this lever here" -- and he pointed to a black lever upon the side --" and the two tension grips will pull the cracker apart, unleashing in one concentrated space ALL THE COSMIC MUDCAT JOLLITY AT ONCE!!!!!!!" The bartender looked at him, and then went over and poured him a hot rum toddy. He returned, placing the steaming beverage in front of the increasingly dishevelled tinkerer. "If I were you," said the bartender, thanking his sainted karma that he was not,"I would be careful with that." "Oh," said the tinkerer, and sat back to consider this deep advice for a moment. Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Mudcat Arms, workmen had finished unloading the massive shipment of mistletoe..... |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 22 Dec 00 - 02:29 PM It's a festivus miracle!! Matt_R pulls out his guitar and warbles...
Whisper in the night |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,GCP Date: 22 Dec 00 - 02:50 PM The old man ended his song,and pulled his ragged wool coat tighter around him against the cold,his knees tucked against his chest.The sound of singing began to reach him through a warm veil of sleep.What woke him was the distinct chime of a bell near at hand.He opened his eyes to behold the entire alley bathed in rose colored light.This light emanated from a figure which stood near the alley entrance of the tavern.It was similar to some of the apparitions which were inclined to come to him when the right balance of darkness and inebriation were attained,but the usual method of dispelling them (a sharp head-shake) failed to work with this character.He at last found his tongue,mumbling "Merry Christmas?"At this the figure came closer,allowing him to see it clearly. It looked to him like an angel.Its skin and hair were of the same rose hue as the light which surrounded it.The gown it wore was of a silky material that seemed to float in the bright vapor,and its back was adorned with a pair of transparent wings that moved slowly from side to side,bearing the spirit up above the snow of the alley.The old man was struck by the thought that this might be an angel sent to bear him to heaven or to hell,and he was quite prepared to accompany it."Did I die?" he said,and the being smiled down at him.When it spoke,its voice filled him with warmth and he smiled as well. "You are chosen for a gift this night" the spirit said.He began to speak,but the figure held forth its hand and said "I know your heart's desire." It suddenly spun in the air,and the light brightened until the old man looked away.And then the alley was dark again,but he heard the voice."The gift shall be yours until the dawn." He sat stunned,and (oddly) sober.Then he felt infused with strength and got to his feet.Taking a deep breath,the air seemed strangely altered.Behind him the singing began once more in the tavern,and he felt a powerful desire to be there,sharing the joy and warmth of the people inside.When he reached the front door,he saw his reflection and stepped back in shock.The reflection was strange,but with a hint of familiarity.And then he knew.Forty years of age had been taken away from him by the angel,and he gazed into the eyes of his own reflection as a thirty year old man. He opened the door and the full light and joyous atmosphere of the Mudcat Tavern embraced him. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MAG (inactive) Date: 22 Dec 00 - 03:03 PM did I hear that someone brought an accordion? Do you know "Those were the Days?" Here are some fudge ecstasty cookies -- enough for everybody. (No, they are just cookies -- chocolate, nuts, etc. -- as another great English word bites the dust.) |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MMario Date: 22 Dec 00 - 03:12 PM Somebody pass this mug o'cider over to the guy who just came in. He's lookin' a little shell-shocked. AND DON'T TAKE MY SEAT WHILE I GO BASTE THE HIPPO! Y'know, I didn't think the oven here was that big, but so far we got the hippo in there, two turkeys, a crown roast of pork, and a standing rib roast. And that's just on the top rack! Sometimes this place gets just a little wierd y'know? Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing o'er the plains |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Kim C Date: 22 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM (kitty tosses whiskey bottle into manger, jumping in after it.) Thanks, pal. :) |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: kimmers Date: 22 Dec 00 - 04:06 PM I'm off in another corner (this room has an infinite supply, right?) in the shadows, head bent over my guitar, softly playing a few songs and carols. "In The Bleak Midwinter", now, followed by "O Little Town of Bethlehem". My two cats nestle at my feet, magically unafraid of the noise and bustle. Simber, my great golden boy, stretches and murmurs in his sleep; Lucy, my grotesquely fat calico, listens with bright eyes and chirrups occasionally. They, too, approve of music and camaraderie. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: CarolC Date: 22 Dec 00 - 06:40 PM MMario, the way you talk about food just does something to me... I look around the room and try to find my good friends flattop and Skipjack K8, but I know I'll not find them. Overburdened with work and other responsibilities, they can't warm themselves in the glow of the mudcat hearth just now. LR Mole is absent, as well, being under the weather lately, but I send him thoughts of healing from my place beside the fire. Lox is gone (alas), not seen or heard from in many weeks. I send my best thoughts out into the crisp night air and hope that wherever he is, he's doing ok and enjoying the warmth of some hearth with those he cares about. And Little Hawk and hesperis, get your collective asses in here! |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,LEJ Date: 22 Dec 00 - 07:48 PM LEJ mops the bar after MMario has spilled his second mulled wine,and promptly pours another."Now put this one in your mouth,Mario!"he says and sets it on the bar.At the other end the disheveled guy with the SAD-O-METRIC machine is changing the batteries and saying "worked fine this morning! You just wait!" which LEJ can do,because he has no place else he'd rather be on such a bitter,snowy evening.Casting a wary glance,he turns to the Wassail PUnch and empties another flask of brandy into it.Tasting it,he grins and pours himself a cup. "Excuse me,sir," and LEJ turns to the young man standing at the bar dressed in clothes that seem to date from the late '50s."Merry Christmas,friend! What can I get for you?" The man takes a stool and says "no liquor tonight.Could you make me a cherry coke with a maraschino cherry in it?" LEJ shakes his head and makes the guy a Cherry Coke.The guy seems excited,looking around as if trying to find someone in the crowd.LEJ serves the coke and says "what's the matter Pal?She not here?" The man smiles and sips his soda."Not yet," he says. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: JenEllen Date: 22 Dec 00 - 10:43 PM "Under the mistletoe, under the mistletoe, Young maids, old maids dearly love to go. When did you ever ever hear a girl say no, When you whisper "Come and kiss me under the mistletoe?" The lone figure wends her way to the tavern of lights, her boots crunching most delightfully on the crust of fallen snow. She is singing loud and clear, and swinging the small bag on her arm in time with her winter song. The back of her horseblanket coat is painted white, all the incriminating evidence needed to solve whodunnit of a blissful snowangel in every available spot from her house to the tavern. She stamps her feet and opens the door. Instantly she is assaulted with the tantalizing aroma of hippo. "Mario must be in charge of the feast this year...", she thinks to herself as she hangs her coat on a peg by the door. She makes a mental note to get the recipe, for every time she's ever tried to make the roast beast, the ensuing cloud of burnt hippo-hair has driven friend and foe alike to the farthest flung reaches of the house..... Yards of scarf unraveled, hands un-mittened, and errant dog hair brushed from the legs of her faded jeans and the front of her flannel shirt, she grabs her bag and sets to the first business of the evening. taptaptap.....taptaptap...taptaptap....The tiny mistletoe sprigs once concealed in her bag have been hung above every available doorway in the tavern. All religious preferences aside, she's never known a Mudcatter to refuse a Snog. She's also never known a Mudcatter who needed an excuse...but wotthehell....she grins as she taps the last sprig in place. "Ah barkeep, a mug of good black tea to warm my hands please?" She settles in to watch the ever growing festivities. Despite the obvious entertainment of watching Cletus and the Regs take down mistletoe, stick it in their belt-buckles and proposition all the Mudcat women within earshot, the object of her attention is the unique polarity at the bar itself. Gloom and doom mirrored with gaiety? Welcome to every Christmas for as long as she can remember. One man is struggling vainly with the batteries rattling across the bar, and the other is trying to keep wraps on the vibrating joy-bag that looks to explode at the slightest touch. She's thanking her lucky stars she's not on clean-up detail..but that's about as far as she's gotten with it.... She takes a second mug of tea, in a paper cup this time, and piles a plate high with Mario's hippo, Susan's delectible salads, and a generous handful of Caitrin's cookies. She then shivers out into the alley. "You know you are welcome inside.." she tells the huddling figure. He gives a brief nod, as if his attentions are needed elsewhere at the moment. She sets the plate down, turns to go, and as an afterthought tells him, "Many Peacemas." but he is lost to her once again. The warmth of the tavern once again fills her and melts the snowflakes in her hair. This place reminds her of the time she was stranded in NoPlace North Dakota....or was it SomeplaceElse South Dakota?? Not important. Only the warm memories of a wise-assed gum popping waitress and a down-and-out encyclopedia salesperson bleating a harmonic "Merry Christmas, Happy New year, Let's make the rafters ring.." along with a crackling transistor radio that deserves to be remembered. Same as the folks in this tavern. It's not really important where we are or how we got here, just that we ARE here. Many Peacemas is right... She returns to the bar, holding her mug and absently dunking her teabag. She slides in a safe distance from the undulating cracker of holiday glee. Frankly, it terrifies her more than just a little bit, but she takes her chances. Laughing, she tells the bartender "I'll have what Peter here is having...just point that thing in another direction, eh?"
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Sorcha Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM Cold, lonely, down fiddler wanders in. "This a pub?" "Need music, need cheer, need beer." Need a sugar dog lap. Manger would do in a pinch, I suppose, but not enough dog hair. Could somebody play something I haven't heard a million billion times before? Like Coventry Carol? Fiddler sez--"Next year better by damn be better..."
Is that a Holly Berry jello pit I see? And whose tattered knickers are those on the flagpole out front? Mrs. Santa's? NO? Oh, she doesn't come here anymore, does she? Somebodies musta kicked the evergreen off her tree, huh? Too bad. (feeling cranky and not too charitable tonight) |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:08 PM Come over here MomSorch...I'm a good de-cranker. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Sorcha Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:17 PM de-cranker? Now, that is a new one. I hate winter, I hate Christmas, argh. I need a lap. Come on over here, Matt. I is just being obstinate. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 22 Dec 00 - 11:23 PM Awww...I love Winter & Christmas! I been sitting in the nice house all day so my lap is nice and warm! C'mere! |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: JenEllen Date: 23 Dec 00 - 12:02 AM Aw, SweetSorch!! Here's a mug of tea, luv, and some of these anatomically correct gingerbread men. And you KNOW these faded jeans have dog-hair to spare. No questions asked, we'll just sit and talk nonsense with Matt until your smile decides to come back. You know next year has to be better when it can't be any worse. Sometimes that's the best blessing you could get. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Sorcha Date: 23 Dec 00 - 12:10 AM OK. but somebody needs to clip nails, here. Someone's mom is too lazy.....flea comb undercoats wouldn't hurt either. OK, OK, I do try every day, but seem to spaz out before I really get anything done....See lap? landing in lap. Staying there until storm clouds clear....(and nails are cut,) (*SG*) |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: CarolC Date: 23 Dec 00 - 08:37 AM And out of a swirling mist appears a lone figure. Slender, dark haired, slipping into the light with the grace of a dancer (sorry, poetic license). The figure stands a while looking lovingly into the window of the Building. He looks wistful but proud. "This is my work of art", he thinks. "How did this happen? This miracle of people, words, music, and love? I wrote the programs and planted the seed, but how did it grow to be such an amazing magic beanstalk?" With that thought, he quietly makes his way into the bustling throng gathered in the warm, happy/sad environs of his creation. The Mudcat Cafe. Happy (insert preference here), Max! |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Peter T. Date: 23 Dec 00 - 04:46 PM Certainly, the dubious figure thought to himself, if I can get the beauteous JenEllen to sit beside me, then this SAD-O-METRIC CHRISTMAS JOLLIES GENERATOR has paid for itself many times over!!! It was at this happy moment that another flutter of wings was heard overhead, and his dark angel -- having returned from the K-TEL factory where it had been sprinkling drecckdust over stacks of "Christmas Favourites from Ancient Times Before 1970" CDs -- began to whisper in his ear, for no good reason, in an accent somewhat reminiscent of Peter Sellers' Indian imitation: "Oh, goodness, me, if the machine works so jolly, jolly, superjolly at the speed you have it, eh, would not it be even more superjolly at a higher current? Pull that lever all the way down!". Meanwhile, in the other ear, a bright angel voice, not unlike the voice that tells you how important your call is to the automatic system that has had you on hold for an hour, countered: "No, no, do not pull that lever any further! You cannot force Mudcat jollity!! That way only doom or an evening with your brother-in-law discussing how he is going to keep his boat if the recession really hits, lies!!!" The dishevelled figure, his soul in midtussle, signals to the bartender for another drink -- and one for the lady by his side with the very large horse needle in her hand, fending off the Reg brothers. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: MAG (inactive) Date: 23 Dec 00 - 05:01 PM Ah, the Rubenesque librarian emerges from her cluttered living room, where she has used up every vacuum cleaner bag in the house (3 cats) and on her way out for more, got sidetracked back into the party. Does the jukebox have Dylan Thomas' recording of "Child's christmas in Wales?" How about Jethro Tull's "Ring Out Solstice Bells?" How 'bout Jim Craig's "On This Day, Earth Shall ring?" Roche's version of "Hallelujah chorus?? patti LaBelle singing "Touch me All Over ..." |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: thosp Date: 23 Dec 00 - 05:32 PM MERRY CRIS MOOSE EVERYBODY!!!HO HO HO peace (Y) thosp |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: JenEllen Date: 24 Dec 00 - 03:29 AM ***Dear MAG, thanks for the smile. I love the Child's Christmas in Wales. "I built a snowman, and my brother knocked it down, and I knocked my brother down, and we had tea." Delightful. For you, I'm sure it's on the jukebox.*** She gives Leej a nod and thanks Disheveled'n'Dubious for this round of the vile stuff. As she wraps her slender, albeit cat-scratched, fingers around the glass she chuckles to herself, "Beautious, my ass. Someone has been spending a little to much time in the secret lah-bore-eh-tory methinks..." But the holiday spirit can outshine any old rose-coloured glasses, so she lets this obvious headcase think what he will. More curious than the cat who sliced her pale skin, she repetedly glances from man, to cracker, and back again. The black handle quivers excitedly, begging some unsuspecting soul to trip it and unwittingly unleash phantasmic joy throughout the rooms of the tavern. While the man is fighting invisible demons of the 'pull or not to pull' variety, she is engaged in her own Sellerisms with the Regs. "Reg, you fool. I could keel you with a seengle karatay chop! Other Reg, that's not mistletoe, you eejut!" For a moment the Regs look dejectedly down at their nether regions at the wilted wads of parsley garnish that they stole from Mario's hippo. With the one brain cell shared between them, they hasten off to see if Sorcha's vision is any clearer. She once again turns her attention back to the creation at the bar.
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,Mike Ireland Date: 24 Dec 00 - 03:56 AM Hi All Merry Christmas from Ireland. One of the highlights of my year was to meet one of the the Mudcat's longest running contributors - Alison from Oz. I would just like to wish her and her family (here and in Oz) well for Xmas and the coming year. Lets hope everyone in the Mudcat gets what they deserve for Christmas... :-) Happiness and peace to all. Mike |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: misfit Date: 24 Dec 00 - 10:41 AM The lone figure entered the party late. He had just met a few of the participants a couple of days ago and was pleased he had been invited. The room was warm with the glow of friendships and the warmth caressed his cold checks in a pleasant way. As he moved across the room, groups had formed. The conversation was brisk and inviting. He noticed eyes raising towards his own, as if in greeting, and he smiled in return. Finding an empty cushion, he slowly lowered himself, cradling a hot cup of coffee in his hands, enjoying the sharing of warm hearts. While he observed, he wondered why the Gods had gifted him with such wonderful souls. He finally decided not to question but to just enjoy. Silently, he wished everyone present a nice and friendly holiday season...Mick
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Peter T. Date: 24 Dec 00 - 11:28 AM The machine hummed its blithe jollities, and the party roiled along, especially in that part where the famed jello pit had been filled with red and green jello and then sprinkled with white marshmallows, resulting in a wobbly spectacle not unlike a bowl of Santajabba the Hut. In another corner, the Mudcat 2001 Calendar was in its final editing process, mostly involving MattR peeling off the little pieces of black censor tape to check out what was underneath. At the bar, the bartender was astounding the assembled patrons with new varieties of layered drinks, of which the most potent appeared to be what he roundly referred to as "A Burgess Shale" -- one drink and go extinct for 500 million years. Meanwhile, at the corner of the bar graced by the presence of JenEllen in what initially appeared to be an elegant shotsilk gown, but which upon closer inspection was an habiliment in shreds that seemed to have served as a scratching post for demented Siamese cats, the dubiously dishevelled tinkerer was succumbing, in order of Sirenitudinosity, to (a) the aroma of her perfume which, if bottled and sold under the name, let us say, of "The Smell in the Back Room At The Vets Where They Put Your Dog For the Weekend When You Go Away", would challenge the market supremacy of Charlie or Obsession; (b) a desire to spread jollity even further throughout the Mudcat Arms, somewhat like the desire of Oprah Winfrey to engulf the world in Grand Old Oprahdom, as most recently evidenced in the production of the Oprah Winfrey Swiss Army Knife; (c) a related curiosity as to just what would happen if, as Catspaw49 1/2 had suggested to him in an unguarded moment, "Put 'er to the floorboards, and let all the horses whinny, Chucky babe." He was just reaching out his hand to do the deed, when the voice of his good angel came on the line -- "Remember that your call is important to us. God is not mocked. Technology stocks are just like other stocks except that when they crash they do not reboot. Please leave a detailed message at the tone." Once again, he hesitated. Christmas Day was fast approaching. Somewhere Peggy Lee was singing "Is That All There is?", and closer to home he was becoming more and more aware that the striated garments of the lady at his right also revealed at intervals, especially as the door to the Mudcat Arms opened and shut allowing a not unpleasant cool draft to waft past, striated flesh. He was at long last forced back to his most elemental principle, yeah even touchstone of his being -- What would Tom Edison have done? |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 24 Dec 00 - 11:37 AM hee hee hee hee hee **peeling and grinning maniacally** |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,Ghost of Christmas Past Date: 24 Dec 00 - 01:56 PM The young man,who had lately undergone a most remarkable of transformations,sipped his cherry coke and plundered his plate of pot-luck pilferage.A tear came to his eye,and it was the joy of visiting a place from which he had been long absent,but had well remembered:Christmas Eve,with its atmosphere of satisfaction and comradeship.Around him,many candles gleamed.In honor,they said,of a child born long ago for the good of man,and for two children of their own. He had not noticed her until the sound of a mandolin ringing drew his attention to the solitary woman seated by the roaring fire,a sprig of holly pinned above her heart.It had been long,but her youthful face was as familiar to him as his own.She smiled as he crossed the room to take her by the hand,and as the musicians began to play The Holly and the Ivy he held her to him,and they danced. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,LEJ Date: 24 Dec 00 - 07:04 PM LEJ pours another round,takes a deep breath, and punches out on the time clock."Merry By-God Christmas!" he exclaims."I'm off-duty. You may now help yourselves,and only one thing do I ask...NO RETURNS,PLEASE!" |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Pinetop Slim Date: 24 Dec 00 - 07:42 PM All these folks in here writing about themselves in the third person -- surely it means one of them (in the Mudcat Cafe it would seem that them equals us; hope rest of planet catches on) is the third magi. Can I take it that myrrh is a gift from an unseen friend? Merry Christmas, catters. Bartender, drinks all around from Pinetop Slim. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: JenEllen Date: 25 Dec 00 - 02:51 AM The woman makes her way back to the bar after a brief stint in the Mudcat Dressing Room. In this case, room is a generous description of bare tile and a shower curtain that doubles as a petri dish in the off season. Her silken slipdress lends her an air of grace that the furry bluejeans could only aspire to. The designer of the gown, a Siamese Mousey Tongue, would show a CheshireGrin to see it come to life this way. It is tougher than it looks considering the never-ending stream of wellwishers she has seen during the day bearing thanks from their animals, along with an estimated metric ton of cookies, candies and fudge. "Oh but darling, you look so frail/tired/etc...have a piece of Aunt Martie's secret fudge, THAT will make you feel better!" So it is not so much inherent grace as the client induced diabetic coma that gives the wander to her way. She stops momentarily to box the ears of the young man who is maniacally peeling the censor stickers off the the MudcatCalendar. "You keep your grubby little mitts off of MissApril or I'll have to bust your chops." She smiles and plants a mistletoe-inspired smooch on his left cheek. The tavern is just beginning to fill as the bartender relieves himself of the sodden bartowel and declares "No returns!" The roaring fire and heat of the many bodies should be stifling by this point, but the repeated swinging of the tavern door to allow more revelers keeps the air free. Hesperis has finally found a willing soul for euchre, and the game is in full swing. Cleigh is dozing a little too close to the fire, but the asbestos underpants he stole (um, borrowed) from an unwitting hawk protect his fur completely. Mick finally won the chaseme-chaseyou by diving under the table to grab the ankles of THE FAIR ONE, and an undue amount of ChristmasJoy has been doled out, much to the delight of the other taverngoers. Mario and Susan are exchanging recipies while a whiskey sodden kitty-cat purrs in quiet slumber in the makeshift manger. The Holly and the Ivy plays while a solitary couple drifts on the hardwood floor. The glistening eye of the cusioned Misfit surveys this all with the warmth of the season for he is among friends. In a whisper of finest perfumed Siamese silk, the woman returns to her stool at the bar. "Your machine can reproduce THIS??" she asks.
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,Caitrin @ home Date: 25 Dec 00 - 08:49 AM Caitrin smiled at the off-duty bartender. "Hiya, Leej! Have a cookie. You still got that hotrod?" |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Peter T. Date: 25 Dec 00 - 12:44 PM "Here", the trepid tinkerer said, a tremble in his voice, "Put these on." And he handed to the Lady of the Labs a pair of heavily rosetinted glasses. "I think it might be wise to shelter under the edge of the bar for a second or two." He donned a pair himself. She looked at him sardonically for a moment, and shrugged her somewhat furballed shoulders. He reached over, and pulled the lever all the way down...there was a vast shudder not unlike billions of recipients of sweaters from distant aunts......Rays of warm light shot out into to vast infinities of cyberspace, and a VOICE SPOKE: "If in heaven itself together should rise the shining brilliance of a thousand suns, then would that perhaps resemble HIM, Jollifier of Worlds, Vast edifices of happiness, tumultuous clouds of never failing joy, endless ticklifications pouring down like sweet rain upon the manyparched deserts, Thus is revealed MAX VOBISCUM, Originator of Universes in the 10 Directions, Sustainer of the 10 Directions, Creator of the 10 Directions, Connections innumerable, infinite in extent, intimate in content, fulfiller of worlds, And wherever one may look comfort and joy abounding, not to mention increase of generation through cosmic jello pits beyond number and the wall of Velcro to which is flung all sorrows and sufferings. Look upon my promulgated happiness, and JOLLIFY!!!!!!!!!!" The VOICE subsided, and the vast cosmic panoply shrank down to ordinary size, and the two figures, their hair burnt off and their clothes somewhat resembling the crinkly part of the Christmas turkey, surveyed the scene, which had been permeated with iridescent fun, and among which frolicked Mudcatters irradiated with anti-sad vaccine, and innumerable coupons for extra drinks from the bar. Colours from the covers of late 1960's concept albums filled the sky. All was for the best in the best of all virtuous worlds! "Hmm." he said. "Still needs a little work on the colour coding. " The lady beside him took off her glasses, which had left tan marks around her face, and patted his arm. "Give it a rest, tiger. Wait till next year." He looked at her, and nodded, and then said, somewhat anxiously: "Would you like to come up and see my blueprints?" "wotthehell," she replied, "wotthehell" and brushed off the burnt fur balls around her collar. They went off into the night together, carting the remains of the box and the night with them, the door of the Mudcat Arms swinging behind them, as the revellers picked up where the universe left off. The snow came down around them, very much like the opening of the 3rd Act of La Boheme, and was general all over Mudcatville. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: GUEST,Noreen (at her sister's) Date: 25 Dec 00 - 03:09 PM And in this cosy inglenook, warm, contented friends are just being; the air pervaded with the essence of sandalwood, cedarwood and sweet white wine. |
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Subject: RE: The Mudcat Christmas Party 2000 From: Matt_R Date: 25 Dec 00 - 03:26 PM Matt stands upon a table to sing. His hair is shaved close to his head. He hasn't shaved in weeks, and his beard and moustache send out wild red-gold streamers that glisten moodily in the low light. He starts to strum...
Who thanked the Lord for the clothes |
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