SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 05:32 PM

Yeah...make like a tree and leave, eh? (hoser humour)

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: gnu
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 04:14 PM

sIx... who hosed down your cornflakes?

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 03:43 PM

Awww... c'mon, six. What's wrong with people having a little fun? Take off, eh! (Hoser!)

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 03:37 PM

correction to my above post ...

I meant "In some ways they are like hosers"

anyway ... I'm outta here ... it's stoopid, it's a ridiculous thread to begin with.

biLL

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 03:12 PM

When I was younger (in the US), the word "hosing" referred to another activity.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: gnu
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 02:20 PM

Hmmm... I thought hoser came from "Let's get hosed." (drunk).

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 12:27 PM

And then there are posers

they like to be seen hanging out at Starbucks, Indigo Books, Sushi restaraunts, wine bars (paying too much on medicre wines). They like to vacation at high end resorts in cliche exotic places.

In some ways they are like posers in that they do like to indulge in smoking dubies, drink too much alcohol, have casual sex (mainly cheating on spouses and mates). They also like to avoid work but acheive employment in a high paying position that demands little or no work.

biLL

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 11:31 AM

By the way, REAL hosers...unlike SCTV's Doug and Bob...also have a big interest in mind-altering drugs of all kinds, and they also smoke cigarettes and dope on a regular basis. They will seek out casual sex wherever they can find it, but it's usually a secondary consideration to the junk food and the mind-altering substances.

Some hosers are not above committing petty crimes such as theft or welfare fraud to support their need to avoid real WORK. They will put tremedous effort into avoiding WORK...sometimes to the point of exhausting themselves! Only large ingestions of beer and dope can remedy that condition.

Every hoser hopes to experience a "lost weekend" whenever Friday rolls around, but what he really yearns for is a lost month...or better yet, a lost year!

"The party never ends, man."

Oh, they have quite an appetite for loud and obnoxious rock music too. Heavy metal goes down great with hosers.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 11:12 AM

LH,

Thanks for elucidation!

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 11:07 AM

A "hoser" is an irresponsible, not very smart, unemployed young man who lives primarily to consume junk food and beer, find idle amusement, and avoid work (the GREAT EVIL!). It's actually a euphemism for "fucker", and is a term that hosers use for other hosers. Used between friends it is a friendly form of joshing to call the other a "hoser", unless you say it with some venom in your voice, in which case it isn't so friendly.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 10:57 AM

What's 'hosers'?

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Mar 10 - 10:50 AM

Agh! What a horrifying thought! I will send Shane out to head them off at the pass. He has modeled much of his life on the example set by Doug and Bob.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: gnu
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 05:38 PM

LH... Bob and Doug and the ghost of John Candy will visit you at midnight with Tim's and beer and force feed you before they show you your future.... dinner for three... all deep fried.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 12:52 AM

Probably more healthy for you, and delicious.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 12:47 AM

Well, I could eat there anytime I want to, but I'd rather eat well-made Thai, Vietnamese, Chinese, and Japanese food. I'm basically an Asian at heart. Their diet suits me far better than North American cuisine ever did.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 12:15 AM

No more fries and gravy at Rombos? That's sad.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 10 - 12:09 AM

You would think so, Carol, you really would.

But the sad truth is....almost no one remembers! (sob)

The grocery has changed names at least twice since then. Rombos is still much the same, but I don't eat there anymore because there are some good oriental restaurants in town now. Finally!

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:24 PM

A lot of fuel under the reactor since this thread was started. Hey, LH, I expect that the parking lot under the wall where the McGill man met his untimely end must be perpetually filled with flowers and stuffed animals, and weeping women, children, and metro-sexuals, like the gates of the palace after Diana died.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 11:09 PM

Beauty, eh? ;-)

Man, I have a collector's item here that you would die for, eh? It's a set of McKenzie Brothers action figures...Doug and Bob...complete with little tiny beer bottles in scale, back bacon, and a buncha other hoser stuff, and it's all still sealed in the original packaging, eh?

I have been thinkin' of selling it on Ebay for Big Bucks!

I used to love the skits Andrea Martin did, specially when she played Edith Prickley.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: ichMael
Date: 08 Mar 10 - 10:26 PM

Why'd you let this thread die, hosers?

Propaganda drove me away from TV a decade ago, but there's always tapes and DVDs.

A few months ago I got some SCTV discs on eBay. Dirt cheap. The NBC run. I read that they were never released on VHS because the show used so many different songs. They couldn't clear all the music. But they finally got it done for DVD, and the shows are complete except for a couple of bits. They had to cut out the Stairway to Heaven accordian thing with the Schmenge brothers.

Anyway, highly recommended. I think the whole NBC Network 90 run is out on disc. Man...Dr. Tongue and Bruno, 3-D House of Horrors.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 08 Jan 01 - 08:09 PM

Geez Little Hawk, "pretty and likeable" now I'm blushing. Actually most of the cops thought the t-shirt was funny. I was too sleepy to remember what shirt I had thrown on my back and was heading for coffee to remedy the situation. After taking my first sip my eyes finally connected to my brain and I wondered why these guys were looking at me with silly grins on their faces. I looked down to check that I had done up my jeans and saw the T-shirt. So I grinned back. What else could I do?

Tes a lot of SCTVers came from the Hamilton area. My brother once worked on a set with Dave Thomas and said he was the one of the funniest guys he's ever worked with.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jan 01 - 12:16 PM

Actually, the donuts have proven to be an improvement on the moose turds. They have less nutrients, but they taste better. And they keep the cops pacified.

Sophocleese has this T-shirt that says "Bad Cop. NO DONUT!" She actually has the nerve to go into Tim Horton's wearing it, and one time there were all these cops at one of the tables, and I think one of them even knew her...they laughed. She's pretty and likeable, (even if she did come from the Hamilton area), so she can get away with things like that. Beauty, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 08 Jan 01 - 12:03 PM

Isn't there another connection between SCTV and Mixmaster? I believe that many of the cast members got their start while attending McMaster. I believe Andrea Martin, Eugene Levy, Harold Ramis and Martin Short were there at the same time.

I used to think that Hamilton was the a**hole of Ontario, then I went to Sudbury. (Ducking)

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sian, west wales
Date: 08 Jan 01 - 11:12 AM

Youse guys is making me homesick again ...and I only got back from Canada last night! So, ddw, if you went to MixMaster, did you have Dave Thomas' dad for anything? I'm pretty sure he was / is a Prof. there. I woulda thought that Dave Thomas would also be hanging around the city at that point ...

Sian (back in west wales and thinking that snow is much nicer than rain)

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 05:06 PM

We don't have any malls in Shepherdstown. I'm all dressed up and nowhere to go. I need to get Jerry on the job...

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 05:05 PM

Yep SPAW, when they tore up the railroad they couldn't import enough anymore. The good news is that since the OPP moved their headquarters to Orillia we've got more Doughnut joints.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 02:05 PM

OHMYGAWD hesp!!!!! Don't tell me the moose turd joint went out of business?!?!?!?!

Spaw

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: hesperis
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 12:49 PM

Actually, Hawk, that was about 50 years ago or so. NOW, the mall has quite a few stores, and other major stores share the big parking lot - remember?

There's Shopper's Drug Mart, Business Depot/Staples, Zellers, Zehrs...

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 11:55 AM

How did you know?

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 11:07 AM

Geez Hawk......that's something! Orillia has a mall? No kiddin'? What's in it? A Tim Horton's, a Canadian Tire store, and a joint that sells moose turd jewelery?

Spaw

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jan 01 - 10:57 AM

I KNEW it! I KNEW you would resume your scurrilous attacks on Major Tom, after hiding insidiously in the bush for months, acting like you'd forgotten all about it!

OOOOOOOOooooo...you are a vile, seditious knave. You are without shame. I am gonna put an ad in the local paper for anyone who has one of those goddam "Boogie Woogie Bass" things (there were a million of them at the Orillia mall before Christmas), and who doesn't want it anymore (that would be EVERYBODY), and take up a collection, and then send them all to your address, Spaw. You can paper the walls with the stupid things, and still have enough left over for a lawn display to entertain the neighbours.

I will send them C.O.D. too. Enjoy, enjoy...

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Jan 01 - 10:50 PM

Yeah hesp, he's completely hosed...........He's listened to the saga of Major Tom, psychotic assholetronaut, too many times.

Spaw

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: hesperis
Date: 04 Jan 01 - 09:16 PM

It used to be Loblaws.

Then it was Miracle Mart. Then...

*Sheesh*, give the guy a break, willya? As if Hawk ever knows which LIFE he's in, much less which stores belong to which parking lot...

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Jan 01 - 06:05 PM

Its not Loblaws, its Superfresh A&P. Geez....

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jan 01 - 05:25 PM

That's nasty, ddw! Us hosers in Orillia have our pride too, ya know. We even have a restaurant with a McGill's porta-potty stuck on the side of its back wall, with a dummy stepping out the door...12 feet above the Loblaws parking lot.

Match that, ya flippin' hoser!

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 04 Jan 01 - 10:40 AM

So ddw, what did you take at MixMaster?

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: GUEST,Fred Burns
Date: 03 Jan 01 - 11:20 PM

For all you Hoser lovers, SCTV is still running (or rather, re-running) weekday evenings on The Comedy Network on cable TV in Canada. I have no idea whether you can pick that up somehow in the States.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: ddw
Date: 03 Jan 01 - 09:39 PM

Go get 'em, Sopho — I'll pat my foot!

Actually, Little Hawk, "marching on" Orillia may be a bit ostentatious, don't you think? "Stepping in" might be more appropriate.

david, who went to grad school at Mixmaster U. and lived in Hamilton from 1970 to 1977.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 01 - 05:05 PM

You're right, Sophocleese. There simply isn't enough beer in Orillia to put the Hamiltonians under the table. I, for one, am planning to take an extended vacation in some handy place like Cuba until this whole thing blows over. See ya!

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 03 Jan 01 - 11:49 AM

Any hope that the Hamiltonians would become wasted on the amount of beer available in Orillia is vain and completely misplaced. We're talking tough Steel workers against wimpy-shit small town businessmen. You could try placating them by building more bars and cheap diners or simply hope that they will be asphyxiated by the fresh air en route. Apart from that tough talk will get you nowhere you want to be fast but you will discover some brand new yoga moves in a hurry.

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jan 01 - 11:20 AM

Bad news, people! The Hamiltonian hordes have become irked by my remarks and are marching on Orillia. It is our hope that they will become hopelessly lost in the wastelands of Mississauga and Mimico and never make it to Orillia. Either that, or they will loot Barrie and then go home, bearing cartloads of plunder from the Bayfield strip.

If all else fails, we will take all the beer in Orillia and build a massive wall of beer bottles at the south edge of the town, across Hiway 11. By the time they drink their way through they'll be too wasted to fight.

Beauty, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 01 - 12:32 PM

Oh yeah? It takes one to know one, loser! Take off, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: sophocleese
Date: 02 Jan 01 - 12:30 AM

Ahem!....cough, cough,... I would just like to politely point out that I grew up near Hamilton (and as of last night the place I grew up has now become part of Hamilton) and if any of you fucking Orillia assholes want to take shots at the place you are going to have to face me in the next song circle. Hoseheads!

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 01 - 09:38 PM

Oh, yeah, like sure, eh? Beat me with a dead pony. You flippin' hosers don't know the half of it, eh? I SERiously doubt that anything decent ever came out of Chicago. I've, like, seen Chicago, eh? Gross me out.

Flattop is right about Hamilton...it's kinda like Chicago North, but it's a lot smaller, eh? It's not the kind of place where you roll down the window (cos your brother just farted in the van), look around and say "Beauty, eh?". Being in Hamilton is about as much fun as using a cactus for a vibrator.

Okay, so, like, now that I've insulted both Hamilton and Chicago, maybe I should just take off, eh, before I get in real trouble, eh? :-D

Actually, you guys are dead right about Second City...it did originate in Chicago...but its glory days (arguably) were in Toronto...

As for your derivation of hoser...sounds plausible. But where does "hosehead" come in? Or is that like "fuckhead"?

I just got a great book on the whole history of SCTV and its entire cast. Now I wish I could get the videos of the show too. I wanna see the Melonville election again, and hear the debate between incumbent mayor Tommy Shanks and challenger Vic Hedges. I wanna see Edith Prickley go through her paces. I wanna see Count Floyd! Waaaaaaah!!!

- LH

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Jan 01 - 05:18 AM

The consensus of those who represented both Canada and the U.S. in a joint summit held recently to address this particular question is that, while the Second City Theater originated in the U.S., SCTV (Second City TeleVision - the TV show), originate in Canada.

So take off, eh?

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Mark Clark
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 08:21 PM

Good catch, Spaw. Second City did start out in Chicago. It was that troop that prepared so many wonderful comics for careers on "Saturday Night Live" and beyond.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 07:42 PM

I'm with Mark.....Hoser in the sense of a cocksman was just another of the great list for "fuck" related. As in: "I got a real hosin' on that deal."

Also worth noting is that "Second City" was originally in Chicago (hence the name) and then opened a second "Second" as it were, in Toronto. So in a way Hawk, y'all took a hosin' on that deal too.

Spaw

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: flattop
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 07:38 PM

You're probably on to something there Mark. The 'brothers' came up with the skit after CBC turned down the show for not having enough Canadian content. They developed their Canadian content around the tough culture of Hamilton, one of Canada's steeltowns.

Some of the people that I knew from the area had strange tough manners. Two guys from Hamilton that I worked with would see who could fart the other one out of the car after drinking lots of beer the night before. They would fall on the floor at and look up the waitresses dresses at Ernie's Charpit, a hamburger joint that they called Ernie's Hairpit. They used the expression 'getting hosed' but I don't remember hoser. One of their favourite expressions was, 'Why don't you stick your finger up my arse and wear my ring.'

I doubt that the McKenzie Brothers took a lot of invention. Take off eh was a cleaned up version of another favourite Hamilton exppression.

I once had a boss who was from Hamilton. I think he was the toughest person that I ever worked for. He would swear loudly at himself when he made mistakes. His third or fourth wife was a good match for him though. She would call up and leave messages with the secretary like, 'Tell Brian that the fucking cat got out and I have to go to fucking work and that's too fucking bad.'

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: Mark Clark
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 07:00 PM

I loved SCTV, all of it. The word hoser, however, was in common use around my area long before there was SCTV. It came from the word "hosed" as in screwed or f'ed. A hoser was a f'er. Maybe that explains the mystery... Canadians didn't have the vocabulary to appreciate the humor. Kidding... I was just kidding!

I was amused, during the summer Olympics, to hear Letterman and others pick up the word "buggar." It gave them a chance to say a word that would be prohibited in it's U.S. colloquial form. Most people in the U.S. evidently attached no off colour meaning to the word.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: SCTV Lives! Listen up, eh, you hosers!
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 05:15 PM

We got SCTV very early on in THE USA in WYOMING and enjoyed ALL of it very much. Also of note is that a lot of the SCTV phoaks wound up going on to Saturday Night Live.

kat