Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 05 Sep 01 - 09:34 AM A parody of "Deportees". Seems a shame to subject such a fine song to the derrymacash mauling, but there you go! The convention is over, the seminars finished The name-badges tossed in the waste paper bins It's time we should leave to go back to our companies Hopefully next year we will all meet again Auf wiedersehen, Hans Adios, Carlito Adieu, Michel Ciao, Benito You won't have a name If you stow 'board an aeroplane All they will call you will be deportees I ventured to Franz, that since we lived local We might as well stay for a schnapps and a beer That was four hours ago, and both of us plastered Trying to find our way home out of here Auf wiedersehen, Hans Adios, Carlito Adieu, Michel Ciao, Benito You won't have a name If you stow 'board an aeroplane All they will call you will be deportees "Let's get this bus" I slurred and we boarded Both of us staggering and pissed as a lord Our destination was out of our hands And so when it stopped we followed the hordes Auf wiedersehen, Hans Adios, Carlito Adieu, Michel Ciao, Benito You won't have a name If you stow 'board an aeroplane All they will call you will be deportees Thank God they have pulled back the Iron Curtain Or both of us would have been taken for spies We'd have been flung in jail, of that I am certain Instead of being charged with hitching a ride Auf wiedersehen, Hans Adios, Carlito Adieu, Michel Ciao, Benito You won't have a name If you stow 'board an aeroplane All they will call you will be deportees |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 24 Aug 01 - 12:34 AM Thanks mudelf for deleting previous post! Well, I didn't feel guilty about sending up George and Ira, so Al Stewart is a piece of cake. not quite as recorded on Time Passages by Al Stewart (words and music by Al Stewart and Peter White) Trying Passengers
Convention in Frankfurt. And they had to go
Flying Passengers, couldn't see that things weren't right
Well, they're not the kind to fly with class. from these
Trying Passengers Can't keep their hands off her firm behind
They sober up and thier stomachs do churn
Crying Passengers, You are hungover you're a terrible sight repeat and fade......
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: SharonA Date: 23 Aug 01 - 11:54 AM By the way, "Roads to Moscow" can be found on Al Stewart's CD "Past, Present and Future", which is Stewart's review of the twentieth century (at least, up to the 1970's) in song. He takes a peek into the future there, too, with the song "Nostradamus". |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: SharonA Date: 23 Aug 01 - 11:12 AM *refresh* Once again I am committing a sacrilege by skewering a beautiful, haunting work (this one by Al Stewart). Perhaps I can absolve myself by encouraging people to give a listen to the original song if they're not already familiar with it. I mean Mr. Stewart no disrespect by writing this parody, but... I just... couldn't... resist... RIDES TO MOSCOW (Tune: "Roads to Moscow" by Al Stewart) We tossed our first drink order back, hours after dawn, Grooving with steins through the day. Most of our brains were destroyed by the brown beer, they say. Holding our water, we held it in good. Urges from full bladders came But we hadn't found out the bathroom's the other way. Ah, softly we moved past the counters without paying the fees, Crossing the runway and boarding the bus on our hands and our knees. And all that we ever Were able to see-ee: The jet with a john, up ahead, we could enter and "go" all we please. The shuttle then drove us up to the big plane. On men's "thrones" our asses soon fell. By evening, we stood, we cower'd back and sat down, feeling ill. Closer and closer to Moscow we come, Passing our wind – what a smell! The men's stalls mid-air, we're in, stranded! We cursed all to hell. We've not brought with us, on-plane, cash nor a passport to show. Spewing and slack-jawed and tanked, we'll be found. We'll stay high till they know! And all that we ever Were able to see-ee: The fire in the eyes, glowing red, of the stewardesses that we tease. In the footsteps of pink elephants, our drunken figures stagger out the plane's door, Falling down before the gate at Moscow, lying by the Russian cops we met there. And far away in Frankfurt, the conventioneers are wond'ring how we got lost, Stumbling unexpectedly upon airliners. No one writes or calls us. We'll never know, we'll never know which way we turned, which plane we took, they'll never free us 'Cause we're stealing beer and peanuts, food and flights. We'll never go, they'll never clear us. They don't even give us a drink of amber beer; we can't use their plumbing. The morning finds us in Stalin's land and our ears are loudly humming. Two drunken flyers are high'r in the night. Sent back to Frankfurt we've been. We drink in the plane till our final approach will begin. It's been almost four days that we've worn the same shorts. At home we'll have lagers and sing. The flames of the turbines are flying us over Berlin. Ah, quickly we move to the aisle once the plane's on the ground. The old men and children we push from their places; they can't slow us down. And all that we ever Were able to see-ee The door of the airplane is opening. Now it's the end of our scheme. We're coming home, we're coming home! Now we'll get wasted once again; our flight is over. We don't listen to the bick'ring of the Federal Police who guard the border As now they ask us of the time when we got on the jet airliner, taking pilsner. "It's only 'cause we lost our way. Give us a break," we say, "we'll learn." They're hissing, "No, sir." We'll never know, we'll never know why we were taken from the crowd that came from Russia And taken in, arraigned and jailed here, deep inside the part reserved for lushes. And it's cold and dank in this dry-out tank and we stare out, still and sullen, And the pale ales of Oktoberfest say that we are not Wilkummen. And we wonder when we'll drink foam again and the border cops say, "Never." And we're grieving guys, and the now-unfriendly skies don't want us, ever. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 22 Feb 01 - 10:38 AM Wow! I now have a Golden Cow Chip AND a Silver BLOB! Cool! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Áine Date: 21 Feb 01 - 10:08 PM HOWDY Y'ALL!!! I'm back, and y'all are BEAUTIFUL! Betcha thought I'd forgotten all about my wonderful, beautiful, fantastic, snog-worthy Challengers, didn't ya? No way, dudes and dudettes. And here are your long awaited and more than well deserved Golden Cow Chip Awards -- and thanks for keeping the 'Challenge flame' alive while I was away with the fairies! ;-) And don't worry, the Challenge is still kickin' and will return real soon... All the best, Áine
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song): |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Bradypus Date: 06 Jan 01 - 06:42 PM On a Jet Plane What a great party The schnapps and the beer I've drunk my fill Just too much, I fear I need to find the loo and have a slash Was it left or right? I really don't know But my bladder's tight I'm needing to go I'll take a guess and through the airport dash Chorus I'm pissed, me, I need a pee I just got on this bus, you see Up these stairs to find somewhere to go I'm heavin' on a jet plane I don't want to see my lunch again Oh babe, I need to go Then the airplane leaves the ground No idea where I'm bound But a great relief to pee it all away My head still spins, my throat feels dry My vision's blurred, I wonder why A twenty litre session lasts all day Chorus Now the plane's come in to land I feel so cold, can hardly stand It seems that I've reached Russia without love I've got no papers, they send me back Then another DT attack When I return I'll need help from above Chorus Note: I'm not sure if all the terms are transatlantic. 'heavin' is from the retching/vomitting family, and pissed is the UK drunk, not the US annoyed. Slash and pee are both urinate. Bradypus |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Bradypus Date: 06 Jan 01 - 06:04 PM Nice one, Pete. A definite sing-along number! Bradypus |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: MMario Date: 06 Jan 01 - 03:58 PM sorry Pete! - as far as I could tell they are essentially the same tune; and I just wanted anyone not familiar with the tune to get an idea. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: GUEST,Pete M'Gurk Date: 06 Jan 01 - 12:42 PM Clifton, thanks! I'm glad you liked it. It was written in a Make-it-up-as-you-go-along style, so I wasn't sure how it was going to end up. The version of the song I was running thru my head, MMario, was "All for me grog", not "Here's to the grog" - it's a little smoother transition from the original to my bastardized version. Hey, I'm really having fun at the Mudcat! Sorry I didn't join earlier! Pete |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: MMario Date: 06 Jan 01 - 08:53 AM tune for M'gurk's rendition can be found here with chorus first |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Clifton53 Date: 06 Jan 01 - 12:49 AM Never too late Pete!! I hope some of these folks know that tune because I'm wettin' meself reading it!! Great job. Clifton |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Pete M'Gurk Date: 05 Jan 01 - 02:30 PM Is it too late to make my entry? (sung to the tune of "All For Me Grog", in a Milwaukeedeutsch accent) CHORUS: Vell...vhere ist der loo, der cholly cholly loo, Ve're full of beer und ve're bloated! If ve don't get relief, it vill surely lead to grief, Far across the Ural Mountains ve must vander! VERSE: Here iss a bus, a cholly cholly bus, But I can't read vhere it's goink! If ve get on der bus, it may take der both of us To a plaze vhere ve can pee mit vinds a-blowink! CHORUS. Zit in der zeat, der cholly cholly zeat, Und I'll zit right here bezide you, Nein, pliz don't make a pass at der flight attendant's ass Use der laminated safety card to hide you! CHORUS. Vhat iss diss plaze, diss cholly cholly plaze, Look at all der schnow und der vetter! I am scared to der core, ve're not in Frankfurt anymore, Schtuck in Muscovy mitout an entry letter! CHORUS. Ja, Kamerad! Mein cholly Kamerad! Pliz let me try to explainen! Mein liebe Tovarisch, I've been drinking like a fisch Und I neffer vanted to ride on der planen! FINAL CHORUS. --Pete (with apologies to the Irish) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 05 Jan 01 - 09:51 AM Well, Dave, I know that, but they were probably too drunk to notice anyhow! :) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Hyperabid Date: 05 Jan 01 - 04:22 AM A tribute to the season (Silent Night) Stille Nacht Heilige Nacht Bladder Pain Need to Pass Board a bus but can't find a loo One on the airplane - well that will do Can we get off now please Niet sir - take your seat Mutti bitte war ich gehe zum haus Niet you're stuck now just have a drink Claus Pass the vodka – sorrows to drown Where are we now – seem to be going down Moscow welcomes you Schiess I haven't a clue Hope you are all rockin' around the Tannenbaum Cheers.... Hyp. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 04 Jan 01 - 08:48 PM Kim C: I hate to be a spoilsport, but there hasn't been any such thing as the U.S.S.R. for--what is it, eight years now? Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Trapper Date: 04 Jan 01 - 01:56 PM Here's my entry! - Al
COMING INTO MOSCOW
Coming in from Moscow from Germany
CHORUS
There's a guy with badge on his furry hat
This woman walking on the moving floor
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: MMario Date: 04 Jan 01 - 01:14 PM For those who may not recognize the parody - Pseudolus's offering above goes well to "The Beverly Hillbillies's theme Song" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Pseudolus Date: 04 Jan 01 - 12:47 PM Let me tell you all a story bout a man named Hanz Drunk off his ass, then again so was Franz Walked down a hall just-a lookin for the Loo Got into a plane and off they both flew High that is, Red Police, Big mistake Well the next thing ya know our boys are Moscow Bound And there wasn't even one conventioner to be found The police put em back on the plane right away For the unintentional joy ride they would pay Arrested that is, in the slammer, missed the convention Y'all come back now y'hear? Frank |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Wolfgang Date: 04 Jan 01 - 12:43 PM Alex, 'original' lyrics in a German folksong are about as elusive as in any Child ballad. 'Wieder, wieder' is how I have learned it (and it scans fine), but 'wiederum' is just as good. The KING did actually sing a couple of lines of the German folksong lyrics embedded in 'Wooden heart' (click on Wooden Heart if you want to listen). Wolfgang |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 04 Jan 01 - 12:28 PM heeheehee! :) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: mousethief Date: 04 Jan 01 - 11:24 AM But Wolfgang, I used "wiederum" because that's what's in the original. Or did you do that for the scansion (rhythm)? But I really like what you did with the Gefängnis line, and thanks a bunch for the aufwecken/aufwachen distinction (my German is VERY rostig!). Kim, this is based on an old German folk song, "Muss I Denn" in which a man is saying that he has to go away to do business in other towns, but when he returns he will (essentially) roll in his sweet baby's arms. Elvis Presley recorded a song with the same tune, but English lyrics (quite unrelated to the German lyrics) called "I Don't Have a Wooden Heart." So here's my new version, incorporating some but not all of Wolfgang's suggestions, and also a rough translation. -----
Muss I Denn (2nd, revised edition!) Muss i' denn, muss i' denn, zum W.C. geh'n, W.C. geh'n, und i' find nit das W.C., Steig i' ein, steig i' ein, ins Flugzeug 'nein, Flugzeug 'nein, und i' flieg' nach Russland. Weh! Als i' wache auf, i' finde mi' Auf Moskau's Polizei Flieg i' heim, flieg i' heim, flieg i' wiederum heim, wiederum heim, man mi' wirft ins G'fängnis 'nein. ©2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved ------
If I Must
If I must, if I must go to the men's room
When I woke, I woke to find myself
I'll fly home, I'll fly home, once again I'll fly home ©2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 04 Jan 01 - 11:00 AM I did figure out the line about "in Moscow with the police......" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Wolfgang Date: 04 Jan 01 - 10:59 AM Kim, first, here is the original folksong (including tune and English translation) that Alex uses for his parody. Now here's a singable but not rhyming (and not very verbatim) English translation of Alex's lyrics:
Do I have, do I have, do I have to see the loo,
I fly back, I fly back, I fly back again at home, Back to you, Alex, for corrections and/or rhymes. Wolfgang |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Clifton53 Date: 04 Jan 01 - 10:54 AM To the tune of 'The German Clockwinder' "Two German Drunks"
Two young German drinkers, to Frankfurt once came
Chorus
They walked out together, their heels clicky-clack
Chorus
The bus dropped them off, at a tunnel you see,
Chorus
But something was wrong,there was something amiss
Chorus
It seemed such a long time, as it always does
Chorus
Sure 'twas no picnic, that's how bad they felt
Chorus
"I feel kinda funny", young Hans says to Fritz,
Chorus
A woman comes out, into the Red Square, Great job 'ye bloody jokers!!!! Piss in the wind!! Cliftonic
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 04 Jan 01 - 09:47 AM Okay... so what does it mean? :) No speak Deutsche. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Wolfgang Date: 04 Jan 01 - 08:55 AM Alex, since you have all rights reserved, this surely includes saying 'no thanks' to my proposed changes. You'll find my version below. Changing 'aufwecken' ('aufwecken' is when you wake up somebody else) into 'aufwachen' and eliminating the typo in 'Polizei' are 'musts', some other small changes make a smoother German (though your version isn't wrong) and most minor changes are but a matter of personal taste (how to transcribe the particular German dialect the song is written in).
Muss i' denn, muss i' denn, zum W.C. geh'n,
Als i' wache auf, i' finde mi'
Flieg i' heim, flieg i' heim, flieg i' wieder wieder heim, Wolfgang (who only once tried to write a song in English) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Dharmabum Date: 04 Jan 01 - 07:36 AM A SLOW BOAT WOULDA BEEN BETTER (sung to The Letter) 2 drunken Germans on an aeroplane Had no idea it would bring them fame A shuttle bus they found Now they're Moscow bound A slow boat woulda been better.
Just went out lookin for a place to pee
(chorus)
Ain't got no ticket for this aeroplane DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: mousethief Date: 03 Jan 01 - 11:56 PM Muss I Denn (tune: Muss I Denn)
Muss i' denn, muss i' denn, zum W.C. gehen,
Als i' wecke auf, i' finde mi'
Flieg i' heim, flieg i' heim, flieg i' wiederum heim, ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Clifton53 Date: 03 Jan 01 - 11:23 PM Just a quicky as I'm off soon,
Du, du, we're now in Russia Ay yi, Ay yi, but it don't look like the can. Please excuse my poor German. Clifton |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: SINSULL Date: 03 Jan 01 - 06:55 PM Two Vacant Chairs We shall meet but we shall miss them There will be two vacant chairs Now two time slots are left open Who will fill them unprepared? Just two days ago we gathered To assess our company's boom But we lost two middle managers Who went in search of the men's rest room> Chorus: We shall meet but we shall miss them There will be two vacant chairs Now two time slots will be open Who will fill them unprepared? Fritz and Schultz went out a walking Stopping only for the bar "We must find a working bathroom! Ach De Lieber! Not too far" For their bladders were overflowing Kidneys gorged to float a boat But they found a water closet On a plane called Aeroflot. CHORUS Once on board, they drained their kidneys Ordered Becks and ale and stout Ate a coach meal and slept well Until a steward threw them out With no papers and no green card With no Visa or passport Russian customs turned them over To a somber Franfurt court CHORUS They flew Lufthansa back to Frankfurt Drank some fine Rhine wine in style Refused to disembark when home again 'Til they got frequent flier miles Sent to jail for joyous riding And flying all around And the moral of the story? Try to pee on solid ground. CHORUS |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Kim C Date: 03 Jan 01 - 05:38 PM We flew in by accident from Germany Got a little drunk last night Wandered on the tarmac looking for the WC Then we got a big surprise
We're stuck in the USSR
We'd been drunk so long we didn't know the place
We're stuck in the USSR |
Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 48 From: Áine Date: 03 Jan 01 - 05:21 PM I hope you Challenge!rs have recovered from your New Year's carousings and are ready for our first Challenge! of 2001 -- I thought this would be a good time to use this story; just in case any of you need a good resolution (double entendre definitely intended) ;-) Let's all lift our glasses of bicarb and write a rousing theme song for these two hapless fellas --
Crocked Conventioneers Canvassing for Can Confront Comrades in Confusion |
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