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B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials!
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Subject: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 01:59 PM "I was trying to write my suicide note, and forgot how to spell "asphyxiation". A friend (well, she was my friend, until the day I found her....but that is another story) told me about Mudcat, it is the only thing I am grateful to her for, sorry, and I was able to find the help I needed in a mattery of seconds." - a satisfied user, Knife Forks, S. Dakota. "Best site for miniature instruments, ever. I found a whole bunch of other hamster harmonica players, and we rooty-toot-toot to beat the band now." -Dominic S., 8 years old (not his real age), Texas A & M. "I placed my VISA card on top of my computer, called up Mudcat, and within moments my credit limit was raised. Also, I have received more recently many invitations to become a Platinum Card member of some very prestigious associations, such as the Diners Club and American Express, to which I could never have aspired before. Mudcat is in the air, I think." --Gretchen, parolee, Betty Ford Clinic, California. "You know how there is this way of curling your thumb over top of your guitar and playing bass notes. I was unable to do this, until I read about Finger Yoga on Mudcat. Since then, through Meditation, I have been able to pursue my career as a blues player on many highly recommended street corners in major cities. Thumbs down, Mudcat!!" - "Fingers" McGraw, penguin, disguised as a chicken, Main Street, Dubuque, Iowa. "u have restored mi faith in the gudness of technology. How can i ever repay u?" -Daphne, president of Compaq. "For deep cleansing, I always recommend Mudcat." -Martha Stewart.
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:11 PM "Upon reflection, we have decided that the proposed national missile defense shield is the stupidest idea that has come down the pike since the Maginot Line. In one of our meetings Mudcat was put forward as a substitute, which would encourage the exchange of good feelings between peoples of many nations. Thank you, Mudcat, for your contribution to changing the thinking of the incoming administration!!" -D. Rumsfeld, Washington (bound). "WE HAD BEEN CONSIDERING THE OBLITERATION OF YOUR INSIGNIFICANT PLANET UNTIL BREZLBLEEPORB FURBED UP AT OUR MEETING AND SAID THAT HE HAD BEEN A MEMBER OF MUDCAT FOR SOME TIME, AND THAT IT WAS REALLY ZORBLE. WE HAVE CHECKED YOU OUT, AND YOU ARE ZORBLE. WE HAVE DECIDED NOT TO OBLITERATE YOU FOR THE MOMENT." - Ghlorbalsoz the Third, Supreme Leader of the Betelgueuse Obliteration Army. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Troll Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:16 PM I was lonely and depressed. Then I found Mudcat. Now I have even more to be lonely and depressed about. Thank you Max. Thank you Mudcat. Whatever would I do without you. signed:Lonely and Depressed troll |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: MMario Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:18 PM cabin fever striking? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: mousethief Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:20 PM I had no idea how to tell the difference between a real folkie and a singer/songwriter until I visited Mudcat. Now I am in the know! ---Henry Kissinger, retired U.S. statemsan
Before Mudcat, my life was an endless round of rock-and-roll, greasy meals, and meaningless sex. Now, I have something to live for!
Boi ecky, it's gurt. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Mrrzy Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:23 PM Hey, in the REAL world, when I was at that chantey sing with chanteyranger and melani and bunches of other members in San Fran a couple of weeks ago, the subject of Mudcat came up, and chanteyranger was proselytizing about how great it is for lyrics, and chords, and all that music stuff, when someone (NOT a member but apparently a lurker) went into a whole independent tirade about, in particular, how great the DT was, and what a great resource it is, and how it's the only thing like it on the net, and so on. We didn't even have to pay him... |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:24 PM "Recemment, at a meeting of the Academie Francaise, one of our members stood up and suggested that Le Mudchat had opened his eyes to many things, and one in particular. After an impassioned speech, the scales fell from our eyes. We looked at each other as if we had awoken from a bad dream. Within moments we signed an apology to the people of France for having been deluded into liking all those Jerry Lewis films, and for decorating Sylvester Stallone. What could have possessed us all those years? Quel horreur!! You have restored the honour of France, messieurs et mesdames!!!" Avec tous mes sinceres felicitations, Pierre Pierre-Pierre, President, Academie Francaise. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:27 PM I dreamed I Was At The Mudcat Cafe In My Maidenform. ~Da Flooz |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Troll Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:34 PM Mudcat is the only thing I have ever found that really controlls my acne. Thanks Mudcat. Oasis fan troll |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:40 PM "So, like, I am beautiful and smart and talented and I am alone and a friend says there are hot guys on this place called the Mudcat, but I think, No way, virtual slime, but she says, no try, and I come on, and after awhile I keep running across this one guy, and we start communicating while we are communicating, if you get me, and then he e-mails me, and then we get on the phone, and at the end of the conversation he says that his name is "Brad", and I say, oh yeah, like "Brad Pitt", and he says, exactly like, and how's that for Mudcat power, we are seeing each other again? I have given the URL to my pals Meg and Elizabeth. I mean, weird or what?" -Gwyneth (real name), Hollywood and New York. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: MMario Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:40 PM I tried every diet and diet pill known to medical science . I even tried the ab buster, the gut buster, the ab rocker and "buns of steel". My home and garage are filled with "easy to use" home gyms. But nothing has ever taken the weight off and kept it off like MudCat! A minute or two of surfin' the 'cat each day does it! Ann R. Exeter |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:44 PM Le chat au boue surely, Peter (but NOT le chat au merde!) RtS (I was a 12-stone weakling and musical no-hoper till I discovered Mudcat. Now I empty virtual bedpans in an imaginary asylum for the terminally screwed) |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Wesley S Date: 16 Jan 01 - 02:45 PM I haven't had to tune my instruments since I found the Mudcat. I'm so busy online that I never play them anymore. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:00 PM Wesley S.: I think you've missed the idea. These are supposed to be fictional, I think, and you're cutting too darn close to the truth! :-D Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: catspaw49 Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:02 PM Funny as the other ones are, Skiff and Wesley both have the ring of truth in theirs which makes them even funnier! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:10 PM (ring of truth)... I've lost weight riding my exercise bike and listening to PalTalk. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Kim C Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:22 PM Thanx to Mudcat I am so much more entertaining now that I have so many useless bits of BS rolling around in my head like so many BBs in an empty tuna can. Imagene Poole Bumpass, VA |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Amos Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:30 PM My greatest aspiration was to become a better songwriter than Elton John. I struggled for years. It was only under the tutelage of the Mudcat's Gaelic Goddess that I realized I had finally succeeded! Thanks, Max!!! R. Zimmerman, singer/songwriter |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: SINSULL Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:38 PM Max is the Gaelic Goddess? What exactly was he up to over the holidays? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: mousethief Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:41 PM Obviously, he was having a sex- and nationality-change operation. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: dwditty Date: 16 Jan 01 - 03:59 PM I used to be a newsgroup addict. Now, I am a Mudcat addict. dw |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Jan 01 - 04:58 PM (Max is not the Gaelic Goddess) ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: MMario Date: 16 Jan 01 - 05:01 PM of course not. if He were the Gaelic Goddess then he would spell his name MÁX |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST,Old Pube Date: 16 Jan 01 - 05:13 PM I no longer require Viagra. Praise the lord it's a miracle! Since reading the postings of Peg, Audi and other "available" female Mudcatters, my compass consistently points towards the horizon, and my soldier now springs to attention upon demand. Initially I was going to thank Payne Webber, but the credit should really go to Mudcat. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST,Amergin@work Date: 16 Jan 01 - 05:25 PM Thanks for telling us that, Kendall.... |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 05:46 PM "Dear cousin Elizabeth, How I have missed you, but I bring you inspiring news. At last my experiments have come to fruition, after all my efforts, the years at Wittenberg, the deep alchemical studies, and the endless anatomical researches. During last night's thunderstorm, the creature finally lived!!!! Thanks to the blessed Mudcat web site, from which I learned the elements I would need to make the perfect Folkenstein monster, ranging from the thumb of Big Bill Broonzy to the broken toe of R. Fielding, I was successful beyond my wildest dreams. Unfortunately, early this morning I discovered that my monster had gone on tour, and was last seen being pursued by the villagers carrying torches. I am however sure that it will all turn out for the best, and that many major record labels who have certainly created synthetic music acts in the past will be knocking on my door in the immediate future to learn how to do this scientifically. I owe it all to the Mudcat. yours ever, your beloved, Victor. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 06:00 PM Members of the Nobel Committee, Honoured Friends, I wish to take this opportunity to speak briefly about what Mudcat has for me done. It is true that this award has come to me for my studies in Brownian motion, and the expectation that my essays in special relativity would lead to the resolution of the question of the ether, among other problems. For many years I have been struggling to create a simple solution to the transformation of energy into matter problem. What could E equal? mass divided by the square of the speed of sound? gravitational forces multiplied by infinity? Often I toyed with the equation E=MT1, MA2, but to no avail. Then, one day, as I was swirling a glass of muddy water, analysing the Brownian motion, Max Planck phoned me up and said that there was an interesting thread on Muddy Water on the e-site called Mudcat. Instantly I had the answer!! E=Mudcat Squared!!!!!!E=MC2!!!! It is to this noble institution that I owe this prize, and also humanity owes the prospect of a nuclear holocaust. Congratulations, Catters!!!!" --Albert Einstein, physicist, humanitarian, Mudcatter Emeritus. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Matt_R Date: 16 Jan 01 - 06:04 PM Hey, what's with all the Oasis jokes? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: mousethief Date: 16 Jan 01 - 06:10 PM And what's wrong with Oasis jokes? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Peter T. Date: 16 Jan 01 - 06:34 PM Dear Mr. Darcy, Following the extraordinary scene that recently transpired between us, during which it became abundantly clear to me that your pride in your station, while admirable in its own way, was not conducive to my seeing your proposal as anything other than the condescension of the fortunate towards the less fortunate in means, opportunity, and family connections. Nevertheless, in what I may say has been the only positive result of having such younger sisters as I have been blessed with, my two youngest sisters (not Jane, of whose merits we disagree, and whose prospects have been blighted by your successful efforts at thwarting a relationship that would have blessed both parties), spoke to me of an Internet site called the Mudcat; to which I repaired, and into which I injected the following question: Have I been prejudiced unjustly against the pretentions of Mr. Darcy? It appears to be the universal response of the collective wisdom, to which I certainly incline whenever possible, without betraying my own instinct for the right; that I have, in fact, been prejudging you, and have not fully taken into account certain facts concerning another gentleman which, had I but known them earlier, would have cast our relationship in a quite different light. I am therefore willing to reconsider, and, should you not have left for your own family seat, perhaps together we might be able, thanks to the Mudcat, to forgive each other our flaws, and pursue as deliberately as we can, the swiftest road to that happiness, which, yourself being willing, could not but be ungrudgingly accepted by one who, whatever the response, will continue to be, your most obedient Mudcat servant, Elizabeth Bennett |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Matt_R Date: 16 Jan 01 - 07:01 PM I was just wondering where the trend came from. Can we pick on 'NStynk instead?? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Troll Date: 16 Jan 01 - 07:23 PM I was an NSYNK fan until I read the posts of Matt_R on Mudcat. Thanks to his insightful and carefully thought out analysis of the relative merits of the Brothers Gallager, I am now a fan of Oasis.They remind my dad of HIS favorite group, The Beatles. Thanks Mudcat and Matt_R. Debbie Dribbledrool troll |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: NightWing Date: 16 Jan 01 - 07:41 PM *ROTFL* Matt, you left yourself WIDE OPEN for that one. (Where DID you learn to be such a good straight man?) *LOL*
BB, |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: ddw Date: 16 Jan 01 - 08:20 PM I thought Oasis was a joke — or maybe just a mirage.... |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Matt_R Date: 16 Jan 01 - 08:28 PM Well, I knew it'd turn to this sooner or later. Bye. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: kendall Date: 16 Jan 01 - 08:34 PM I'll have you know I posted under a false name only once! And, that was not on the forum, but, hearme. |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Troll Date: 16 Jan 01 - 08:34 PM Matt_R, I would have you remember the advice that the mother whale gave to her baby: "It's only when yer spoutin' that you'll get harpooned." troll |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Mrrzy Date: 16 Jan 01 - 08:55 PM Mudcat RULES! -anonymous teenager* *Not my real age |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Amos Date: 16 Jan 01 - 09:20 PM Peter T, You are a genius Sir. One glance at what are obviously warm-up exercises for a mind that stands above the ordinary path, a soul that transcends the mortal, is enough to show this to even an incidental observer. I charge thee, get thee to thy Mac! Reflect how tedious a world it is that is denied the light you have to contribute! How dare you postpone the generation of such a bright and strong addition to the collective mind of our under-gifted species! Fie! To work, to work! Regards, A |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: John Hardly Date: 16 Jan 01 - 09:40 PM ...yeah, what Amos said. JH |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Sorcha Date: 17 Jan 01 - 01:27 AM I used to have a clean house, fresh laundry, and a balanced checkbook with the bills all paid. Now, my carpets and toilet are filthy, I never learn new tunes, I have all these MIDI programs to sort out, and the cats say the litter boxes are full!
I used to have to cook 5 nights a week, but now it's down to 2. I used to have a bottle of White Out, but now I have MS Word. I used to comb my dogs, but now I have 'Cats.......I used to say "Screw the lyrics, what is the TUNE?", but now I have the DT and Copernic......I owe it all to the MudCat Cafe, where I can perform in my MaidenForm.....(if I just owned one!!!)
I used to think "html" was shorthand for HotMail, I used to think MIDI was a skirt length, I used to think Anvil was a tool used by a blacksmith!! Now I know better!! All due to the MudCat Cafe. All Hail King Max!!
Little Miss Bright Fire (not my real name) |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: katlaughing Date: 17 Jan 01 - 02:03 AM As a wild prairie child, I used to run with the wolves, howl at the moon and take my pleasure anywhere it suited me. I eschewed the trappings of what little society dotted the barren plains, preferring that of the four-leggeds. I swam in ice cold water, caught trout in my hands with the bears, soared like an eagle in the dawn's earliest light. Then, one day, while I was thus soaring, and even when I was thus fishing, yes, even whilst I was thus running, my eagle eyes espied the most extraordinary light. It glowed in the night, it sent rays high into the sky, almost obliterating that of the stars and the moon. As I drew closer to it, I saw it was in a lonely, one room cabin of the two leggeds. Creeping up to it, I peeked through the window and was mesmerised by what I saw. My brothers and sisters howled at me to turn back before it was too late. The fish jumped and splashed as hard as they could. The eagle dive-bombed me, swooshing me with her strong and hard ribbed feathers as if to beat me away, while the bears gathered at the edge of the clearing and growled their dismay. Too late, I realised I was being drawn into the cabin, as through a magic looking glass. There I sat in awe while the glow before me coalesced into strange names such as Spaw, Little Neophyte, Ickle Dorrit and the like. Then more appeared with long written messages which I was magically able to understand, and then...ah, it brings tears to my eyes now to recall it...and then, suddenly I heard the gravely voice of an Ancient Mariner singing some long forgotten lullaby, something I'd heard before I was left to the wolves. Then some other started singing a low down blues which grabbed me from the soles of my feet, pulled me up and I became One with the All and suddenly knew that MUD was thicker than Water and I was officially a Mudcatter!! Since then my life has been a complete transformation. I no longer run with anyone, two or four-legged, I never fish or see bears, except when they come in to hibernate, and I haven't taken to the air since that fateful night, either. I have joined the best of the two-leggeds and I owe it all to the Mudcat Cafe, the place for homebodies and if you aren't one when you get there, you will be soon...just like me! Thanks, Mudcat! Ms. Also Ran With the Wolves |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Sorcha Date: 17 Jan 01 - 02:15 AM But do you Dance?? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: katlaughing Date: 17 Jan 01 - 02:19 AM Damn! How'd I miss getting that one in there!?? Hell, yes, I dance!! LMAO!!!
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Amergin Date: 17 Jan 01 - 02:21 AM Because of the MudKat? |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Lady McMoo Date: 17 Jan 01 - 03:17 AM "Mudcat ROCKS....!" Jeff Lynne |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 17 Jan 01 - 06:08 AM I didn't used to know the definition of folk music. Now I still don't. Thanks Mudcat! |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 17 Jan 01 - 06:17 AM I used to think Oasis was where Al-Hansell, Sheik of Mudcat, watered his camels.... Now I know at least one US 'Catter knows what a Brummie is. Cheers, Matt (they only tease you 'cause they're jealous of your youth and wide repertoire! RtS (hear that:"Woof woof": that's the most characteristic Mudcat sound, Roger the Skiffler, barking up the wrong tree) |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: Lady McMoo Date: 17 Jan 01 - 06:23 AM "Don't know where I'd be without Mudcat" shorty |
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Subject: RE: B.S.: Unsolicited Mudcat Testimonials! From: GUEST,Peter T. Date: 17 Jan 01 - 08:56 AM Ooowwwwooowwwooo!! hilarious, kat. yours, Peter T. |
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