BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 04:23 PM

OK Spaw - no screw ing with the doctor's head... like shaving your head before the opporation and pointing at the noggin saying, I'm all ready for ou to start doc...
You don't want the bugger starting to laugh in mid op.
Also, and most important. NO BEANS FOR A WEEK before the opperation.
Now, if the address they give you for the hospital, turns out to be an Aztec temple...
get a second oppinion.
Get well soon, ol'chum.
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: JenEllen
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 03:48 PM

Well, if Rick gets to do the surgery, can I at least assist? 'Spaws big and furry and somewhat housebroken....it'd be jes like another day at the office!!

~JE

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From:
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 03:38 PM

Spaw thtas a lot of shit to have on your plate everyday, You're a tough cookie to have come this far and as you say it won't get you. All the best of love and luck

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: R!
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 03:14 PM

I'm sending you all the healing energy and good wishes I can muster. Reen

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 11:43 AM

Well gawd knows I'd like to be hugged down under, so to speak. And I'm glad to hear the firm has some kind of health plan that includes Swedish massage! Who got off their ass and signed us up?

Catters are special people and I thank you all once again.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 11:41 AM

When I first saw the title of this thread, my first thought was to log on and post the question:

"What ISN'T wrong with him???" Ha! Ha!

Then I saw what it was about. Well, all I can say is...good luck, my friend. We are all thoroughly enjoy knowing you and are beside you in spirit if not in flesh.

Best wishes,

Little Hawk

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: alison
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 05:31 AM

I'm with Max on this one.. you aren't going anywhere until I get a hug in person.... and let's face it.. I don't live just around the corner so that hug is a LONG way off.....

love

alison

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 09:05 PM

Well, Pat, Mudcatters are the best, aren't they?! Make me cry and laugh out loud, what images their words conjure in my mind!

LilNeo, don't forget to wear the white socks. I'll bet he means bobby socks like the old fogeys wore when they were kids in the fifties!!

And, Sinsull, that jigsaw of the Mudcat calendar...would that be one of those new 3-D types, soft, touch sensitive and all? Whoo boy!

Allison, sorry to ehar about your other friends. Spaw's got the right idea about those snazzy socks you got...comfort socks is what they look like. Here's a {{{{BIG HUG}}}} for you, darlin'...luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Pinetop Slim
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 08:25 PM

I didn't have time to read all 94 entries here, but from speed reading I surmise that Spaw's heart on has gotten too big and he plans to have a reduction performed by Dr. Fielding with a Dremel tool.
The end result seems desirable, as many Mudcatters are lining up to give him hugs and are presently unable to do so because of the size of the member, er, membership, but the method seems extreme. There must be some homeopathic way to wear the thing down naturally. Maybe if you pretend it's a genie's lamp and make lots and lots of wishes...
(But seriously, Pat, thanks for letting us know what's up.)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Dave Swan
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 07:00 PM

Oh, sooo many things, and so little band width. A regrettable prediliction toward flatulence (also lying about it, blaming the nearest kid, dog or wife; worshiping it in song and story; devoting hours to finding the most descriptive spelling of it; searching for the definintive recipe to produce it; sniggering about it like a thirteen year-old and infecting everybody around him), a unhealthy fixation with inflicting barotrauma in small primitive marsupials, questionable fashion sense.

But, what's right with the boy? He's got a heart like a lion (current structural problems aside), the loyalty of a badger, the playfulness of an otter, the wisdom of an elephant.

He's a hell of a guy, our 'spaw. He ain't right, but he's ours and we love him. Any time spent with him is good time.

So, ol' buddy, get this warranty work done, and be well.

Remember that the health benefits at Lane, Fielding, Patterson & Swan, Layabouts at Large, entitle you to unlimited Swedish massage, Hindo-Japanese bed baths, and Micronesian cocoanut and guava pulp emollient soaks. Really, I looked it up.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 06:05 PM

That's a deal Allison my friend.......I'm very sorry to hear about your friends. Seems like things come up in bunches sometimes. Love ya'.....Have a hot soak and put on those warm looking socks you got for Christmas.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 05:54 PM

AWWWWWWWW, JJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZ, 'SPAW!!! This has been a helluva week for me in the ailing-friends department. Will you just cut it out, ok? Get the frigging surgery over with and get the !@#$%^$#!!&!!! better, ok??
Sorry. You're just the third in a row this week- one friend with breast cancer, another dead with an unpronounceable muscular disorder. YOU have to get better fast, to even the keel.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 05:19 PM

Sheetfar Bub........Thizzeer hospital trip is startin' to sound GOOOOOOD!!!!

But Pete, I don't think I can keep my mind on George Thomas (how would he have reacted at Peterburg...or Gettysburg...as a commander under Lee?) with all this quilting and Bonnie's washdown and all!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 04:11 PM

I know Catspaw, if Karen doesn't mind, I'll get one of those nurses outfits. You know, the white ones with the short skirt and stiff hat. The kind the guys seem to like so much. I'll tend to you like a nurse would. Give you a scrub down. Get the okay from Karen to do the private parts and all.
Anything for you Pat,

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 04:06 PM

And all the Mudcat ladies can have a quilting party around his bed. We'll put him together with style. Pattern? Your choice, Spaw. How about the Mudcat logo in shades of blue and green? While we're at it, we can corn row your chest hair and ...whatever. Just something to keep your mind off the surgery.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,Bob Schwarer
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 03:55 PM

A Dremel won't do the job. Gonna need a chain saw. A lot quicker too.

Bob S.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Melani
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 03:00 PM

A set of Spawbone dulcimer hammers sounds intriguing, but I bet they would play funny...Make sure the Dremel team fixes it right this time.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Morticia
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:42 PM

Dear Uncle Pat,sorry you are having to go through this crap stuff again....but as you point out, it beats the beejayzuz out of the alternative.Anything we can send you to while away those boring re-coup hours when you go in? Jar of marmite? Jigsaw puzzle version of the Mudcat calendar? A tiple? You name it, we'll try to find it!
much love
Terri

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:13 PM

Mooh, we know, were just turning into a pun of Spawdimensions. Sorry...

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,Pete Peterson
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:07 PM

O you of double names, I'm sorry to hear that you need this done, but it sounds like they know what to do. As you say, it beats the alternative. Please get this done, take a long leisurely time to recover (partial joke here) and then STAY healthy for a while. BTW-- you and i have something else in common if you recall, admiration of Maj. Gen. George Thomas. . . for some reason this morning (very boring meeting) I tried to sketch what might have happened if he had gone South. I see him as a corps commander in the Army of Northern Virginia (instead of Longstreet?) . . .but didn't get any further. What I'm trying to do here (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain) is give you something to think about other than your upcoming surgery. I will pray for you. PETE

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: LR Mole
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:54 PM

All best, sir. Prayers yer way.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Bert
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:35 PM

I would be more inclined to ask - 'Do cardiovascular problems cause language problems?' - Both you guys seem to have a unique way with words. ;-)

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:31 PM

Again there gang....thanks! I'm not worried here, just ain't lookin' forward to another chest cracking! But EMILY----Your mom-in-law must not mind huh? Geez...three times. I was hoping that once was enough!

AND LITTLE JOHN CAMERON----You and I have a lot more in common than I thought. We could have an interesting poker game......."I'll see your dissecting aneurysm and raise you a ruptured one."...."Oh yeah, well, I'll call your stroke and raise you a bypass."..........We have some other things in common too and now it makes me wonder-----Do 'Vettes and motorcycles cause cardiovascular problems?" If so, what's the point of a helmet?.......And I'm with you on the drugs!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Bert
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:01 PM

Hi Spaw ol' fella. - Oops! sorry, Hi Spaw young fella. I don't think that a Dremel tool will do the job. We're going to need to rent a jack hammer to get through that old hide of yours.

Keep yer chin up guy, and let me know if you need anything.

See you at the Getaway in the fall.

Luv ya,

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Mooh
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:01 PM

Um...it's a reference to playing hockey...Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 11:20 AM

Of course, the best incentive I know for getting through this in good spirits would be-- just think about all the great sex, once you're patched up right and proper!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,emily b
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 10:55 AM

Hey Spaw,

My mother-in-law has had 3 bypass operations. The 3rd one at 77. Nobody told her to stop eating grease... A year and a half later, she's doing great.

I'm sorry to hear you are having to undergo this, but with such a great attitude you have toward life, you'll come through just fine. More good news is that you have plenty of warning about this and won't have to go the ER route.

Wishing you all the best over the next few months, through the surgery and recovery.

Emily

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 10:17 AM

Esp. if it's one so long and heavy he has to use a tripod to prop iit up!! **BG**

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 09:55 AM

Keep your stick on the ice.

That sounds painful...

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Mooh
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 09:42 AM

Spaw,

Geez, I thought someone was picking a fight with you so I didn't even venture into this thread until this morning when I was feeling rather bemused, and Holy Crow what do I find but it's your thread!

Man, I'm sorry to hear about all this complicated stuff in your life, but somehow I think you're right that it will be something else altogether which gets you.

Around here they say to "keep your stick on the ice" and things will go well. Thanks for sharing your concerns with us, that way can can hope for you.

Keep your stick on the ice. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 06:36 AM

Hey Spaw,

You know I'm a dab hand with the Dremel and I'm in the medical technology field too. Nothing wrong that a few Brazilian rosewood cleats, some good quality hide glue, a couple of bone nuts and some Elixirs can't fix. I have the flexible Dremel attachment and the routing apparatus to hand and plenty of clamps.

Seriously man, you have my very best regards and good luck wishes in this. All power to you and your family.

Thinking about you.

mcmoo

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 06:32 AM

Spaw, I have nothing to add, but you know how we feel about our own, we are pulling for you , now and at the time, The NYCFTTS Center surgery team wont need a gas passer for the op as they have the master of this arcane art on the table. Love to karen and the boys(Esp. the OTHER MP)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 04:25 AM

Spaw - good luck and all the best. Take care,
Fibs

(p.s. don't make them laugh TOO much in there - the doctor's will need steady hands, remember!)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Wolfgang
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 04:05 AM

Spaw, you're convinced that you'll not end up 'belly up' from this. The bad news is that you might be mistaken, the good news is that you'll never know then.

More seriously, having a positive outlook as you have makes it much more probable that you'll be proved right. I dearly hope so.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 03:47 AM

Fear not, boss, we've just bought a Dremel for the NYCFTTS and Hiroshi can't wait to try out the surgeon's kit he got in his Xmas stocking so just pop over here smartish and we'll give you the staff discount.
RtS(but serious good wishes as well!)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: wildlone
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:35 AM

Hang on in there you mad bugger!!
you are needed to inject a little sanity into some of the posts on mudcat,
Love dave, another mad bugger!!

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:23 AM

Spaw had a baby by kat/katlaughing? How and where did he fit THAT in? No wonder he got strange food cravings!

Kat, apparently there is a lot more to these Mudcat dyads than I knew. Better fill me in quick, before I go wrong!

*G*

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Peg
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:15 AM

good luck Spaw! Keep us posted on the date of your procedure and my coven will send you some energy...the good kind. :)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Big Mick
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 01:01 AM

Listen Patterson, I go out of town for a bit, spend my friggin' 50th birthday in a ferblictica hotel room, Art turns me down for dinner while I was in Chitown, THE FAIR ONE has gone incommunicado and that friggin' Alan of Oz has seen her picture in all of her scantily clad elegance, the cat ate the hamster.............................and now this shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would you give me a gawdamn break already?????????? Time for a trip to Awhier to give you the aul Big Mick Lane sex talk if you don't straighten your shit up.

And I love you and will pray for you steady.

Back to the road.
<
Mick

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Mark Clark
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:37 AM

Spaw, My thanks as well for letting us know. Hope everything goes well.

      - Mark

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Poo-Twa
Date: 18 Jan 01 - 12:20 AM

Spaw- Remember to cough and deep breathe, OK? BG. Thinking of you, BlueJay

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 10:52 PM

Keep us posted Spaw, we'll do anything we can to help. (well, almost anything.) Luvya.

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 10:31 PM

Okay, I have an idea, let's all write to his surgeons beforehand, let them know what we expect and that we'll send um...Vinnie, yeah that's right, Vinnie down to break their legs if they don't do it right! No, wait a minute, that's too much vinegar!

We'll write to them, extoll the virtues of Spaw and promise them each an all expenses paid vacation to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed when they get done doing a bang-up job, 'cause they're gonna need it!

Spaw, come hell or high water, I am going to get there this spring, before or after, whichever, to see you and my son!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 10:22 PM

I'm rooting for you Spaw. (Now all you Aussies, it doesn't mean that where I come from!)

You're right, there's no bloody way your going to check out for a long time. It may take me a while, but I want to meet you in the real world too. At my rate of getting things done and promises kept, you may have to hang around for a very long time! I think if I could manage a visit in the near future, I would still probably have to be equipped with golf diapers, lest I embarrass myself from laughing. You are truly gifted in that area kind sir.

Spent some time in day surgery with me auld Mum today and your also right, there are better places in the world to be, especially when you seem to be feeling good and healthy. It must make all the fuss seem a trifle unreal. Take care.

Love and best wishes from and Susan and Jim Grieve.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 10:00 PM

I love you so much Pat. You are going to do just fine. See the doctors are very smart. They know you have one humungously big heart. Your not going anywhere. I have a Catspaw deluxe special edition custom made hug on credit coming to me. I think it is about time I come down there and get my goods.

Love Bonnie

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 09:57 PM

OOooo,,been out of town most of the day, and this is what I come home too!! Crock o'doodle, ifn ya ask me. Big hugs and blessings, spaw. Stay well.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Tinker
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 09:49 PM

Not much left unsaid here, but I'll keep thoughts and prayers headed your way.

Tinker

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: sophocleese
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 09:42 PM

Thanks for letting us know what's been going on Spaw. You may be too sore to laugh for awhile afterwards but have fun laughing a lot before and we'll all be laughing with you.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 09:39 PM

You will pull through all right Spaw ( Only the good die young ) . Best of luck, I am sure you will be OK.

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: What's Wrong With Spaw????
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Jan 01 - 09:35 PM

"What's Wrong With Spaw"????

NUTHIN' that a little plumbing work and a bottle of Bean-O won't fix!

Dave Oesterreich