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Songs about getting older?

GUEST,Warwick Slade 03 Jun 19 - 04:31 AM
Leadbelly 02 Jun 19 - 06:14 PM
olddude 01 Jun 19 - 08:04 PM
GUEST,G 01 Jun 19 - 04:36 PM
John C. Bunnell 01 Jun 19 - 12:05 PM
GUEST,Petrawiggin 31 May 19 - 10:47 PM
Jim Dixon 01 Jul 18 - 02:44 PM
open mike 30 Jun 18 - 11:36 PM
Tattie Bogle 30 Jun 18 - 06:12 PM
Jim Carroll 30 Jun 18 - 08:25 AM
GUEST,Pseudonymous 30 Jun 18 - 07:43 AM
Georgiansilver 30 Jun 18 - 07:31 AM
BobL 30 Jun 18 - 02:40 AM
reggie miles 30 Jun 18 - 02:21 AM
reggie miles 30 Jun 18 - 02:05 AM
Tattie Bogle 29 Jun 18 - 06:41 PM
Jim Carroll 29 Jun 18 - 06:25 PM
Joe_F 29 Jun 18 - 06:10 PM
Jack Campin 29 Jun 18 - 04:24 PM
Jim Carroll 29 Jun 18 - 12:53 PM
Peter the Squeezer 29 Jun 18 - 12:41 PM
Tattie Bogle 29 Jun 18 - 12:38 PM
Acorn4 29 Jun 18 - 12:15 PM
GUEST,Pseudonymous 29 Jun 18 - 08:56 AM
Jim Carroll 29 Jun 18 - 08:50 AM
GUEST,jim bainbridge 29 Jun 18 - 08:22 AM
Stanron 29 Jun 18 - 05:38 AM
Acorn4 29 Jun 18 - 05:33 AM
Acorn4 29 Jun 18 - 04:39 AM
Acorn4 29 Jun 18 - 04:34 AM
Acorn4 29 Jun 18 - 04:10 AM
Jim Carroll 29 Jun 18 - 02:11 AM
GUEST,Pseudonymous 28 Jun 18 - 01:25 PM
GUEST,jim bainbridge 28 Jun 18 - 12:00 PM
Jim Dixon 28 Jun 18 - 11:19 AM
oldhippie 16 Aug 17 - 11:51 AM
David C. Carter 16 Aug 17 - 06:03 AM
GUEST,LynnH 16 Aug 17 - 04:04 AM
PHJim 15 Jun 11 - 07:16 AM
Richard from Liverpool 14 Jun 11 - 10:16 AM
reynard 14 Jun 11 - 04:43 AM
PHJim 13 Jun 11 - 11:15 PM
PHJim 13 Jun 11 - 11:06 PM
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reynard 13 Jun 11 - 08:04 AM
Bert 13 Jun 11 - 01:27 AM
MorwenEdhelwen1 12 Jun 11 - 11:02 PM
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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Warwick Slade
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 04:31 AM

My getting old songs are on Spotify on the Live at Poole Crematorium albu
Check it out


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Leadbelly
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 06:14 PM

Curd Juergens, a well-known german actor, once recorded a song titled by "60 Jahre und kein bisschen weise" which means 60 years old and by no means being wise...


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: olddude
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 08:04 PM

One I wrote
https://youtu.be/nejTuZaWI-I


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,G
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 04:36 PM

Burns"s "Wad Ye Dae That"
Jim Carroll--23/6/2018.
Lying in bed {where else} I composed a middle verse for the above song.

"Forsooth young man I wad be laith
Tae turn doon sic an offer
But tell me lad whit likes yer graith
And is it aa in order
Guidwife ye needna spier that gait
for it"s baith lang and fat
And made for your contentment dame
I"se warrant that.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: John C. Bunnell
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 12:05 PM

I am astonished at two omissions from Broadway:

"(You're) Timeless to Me" (from «i»Hairspray«/i»)
"No Time at All" (from «i»Pippin«/i»"

I won't try to do links from my phone, but possibly later....


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Subject: I wanna live to be an old woman - what's the rest!
From: GUEST,Petrawiggin
Date: 31 May 19 - 10:47 PM

Help! I am looking for the full lyrics to a song that I can't find anywhere except that there is a small reference to it in this thread @GUEST.winterbright, mentioned it. Here is what I remember of the song:

I want to live to be an old woman and old woman and old woman,
I want to live to be an old woman sittin' on the porch!
I want to live to be an old woman shawl around my shoulders, gum a piece of chicken,
I want to live to be an old woman sittin' on the porch!
I want to live to be a deep sea diver, a parachute jumper and an old woman,
sittin' on the porch and laughing at the sunset, diggin' my new home!

Does anyone know more of the words?!?!?!?


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Subject: Lyr Add: GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY (Big Bill Broonzy
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jul 18 - 02:44 PM

You can hear this recording at YouTube


GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY
As recorded by Big Bill Broonzy, 1940.

You say you're gettin' old; now, it' older ev'ry day.
You say you're gettin' old; yeah, you say you gettin' older ev'ry day.
Ah, you ain't but fifty. Hoo, Lord! Boy, you shouldn't feel that way.

Now when you get so old you can't work at no mill,
Yeah, when you get so old, now, boy, you can't work at a mill,
Now, don't you make no dates, hoo, Lord! But at that you can't fill.

Now, if your luck don't change, boy, don't you be sad.
Yeah, if your luck don't change, now, buddy, don't you be sad.
Now, you really gotta learn what you take the good now with the bad.

Now, when you get old and your good gal don't want you 'round,
Hoo, Lord! When you get old, and your good gal don't want you 'round,
Now, you know you didn't run out o' commission, hoo, boy! I declare you're poor-house bound.

Now, don't laugh, buddy; now, I didn't nobody's downfall.
Hoo, lawd! Don't laugh, buddy; I meanin' nobody's downfall;
Because if your woman would check up on you, hoo, Lord! She'd put another mule in your stall.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: open mike
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 11:36 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTeYD3Za_2Q    Memory Song
Tom Rush - Looking for My Wallet and Car Keys - Kerrville Folk Festival, 2015 (one message posted on another version of this says it was Steve Walters, who wrote and first recorded the song.?)


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 06:12 PM

When I'm 64? Well past that now! 64 is the new 44! (or do I mean vice versa?)


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 08:25 AM

"Jim, yes, that's the song, All Used Up: glad you found it."
Beautiful song - still brings a lump...

I was always rather fond of Pete Mundey's song, 'Take Your Time" until I heard a Liverpool audience roar out
"Take your time, you dirty old man"

There are still places on the planet screaming out for missionaries!!
Jim Carroll

TAKE YOUR TIME
(by Pete Mundey)
Chorus
So take your time, me lovely old lad
Oh there ain't no need for to hurry
For as long as you're able to wind up me clock
Then I have no need for to worry.

You first wound me clock up on our wedding day
You promised t'would always be striking
Though the spring's getting weaker and feeble the tick
It's still very much to me liking.
Chorus

I mind the time when we were young
You worked at the hedgin' and dykin'
Oh you'd go out at dawn and work through till dusk
And come home for me clock to be strikin'.
Chorus

As time goes by, our children's grown up
We're soon making wedding vows binding
Oh I told all me daughters the one thing I've learned
Make sure your clocks always needs winding.
Chorus

And now that we're nearing the end of our days
And you are so tired and grey, love
It still pleases me so when you wind up me clock
And it will till the end of my days, love.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Pseudonymous
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 07:43 AM

When I'm 64 not much use at a certain age!

I'm at the age when I wonder if I'll live long enough to get a bus pass or a state pension: they keep putting the ages up.

The T=shirt I want is one that says 'I may be old, but I got to see all the best bands'. But they don't do long sleeve for women. Soz, this isn't a 'T-shirts about getting older thread'.

Hmm. Well, they probably still do! :)


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 07:31 AM

When I'm 64. The Beatles.    This was mentioned before but here it is on Youtube.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: BobL
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 02:40 AM

Joe F, we haven't missed out on Tom Lehrer - see 07 Feb 01, 11:48 PM

Advantages of age (in the UK at least, for the first two):
1) Free prescriptions
2) Free bus travel
3) Your time's your own
4) The world seems to be increasingly filled with young and beautiful people.

And do not the T-shirts of the very same people who once advocated Teen Power, now proclaim that Old Guys Rule?


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reggie miles
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 02:21 AM

Grossosity! Reggie Miles written © 2004

Bats flutter in my belfry when I’m dreamin’ in my bed
I’m guessin’ they got in there through these holes here in my head.
I’d like to shed this feelin’ that some day I’ll wake up dead.
I’ve tried a frontal lobotomy and every remedy bottle in front of me.
But nothin’ that I’ve tried has helped this dread.
Sooo! I just cry myself to sleep each night instead.

A big belly full of bicarb bathes a blisterin’ boil,
That bubbles when my troubles begin to foil and uncoil.
This royal pain in th’ gut is due to one unloyal goil.
So I sit and slowly slurp another sip of castor oil.
OOOH! And I play solitaire in solitude with Hoyle.

I collect belly button lint but it doesn’t smell so nice.
So I use a mint deodorant and wash it twice or thrice.
And just in case you’re thinkin’ that this vice ain’t very nice.
My freezer’s full of fresh and minty little linty balls of ice.
OOOH! I keep ’em free from lice as linty balls of ice.

Green and crusty boogers they reside inside my nose.
Those slimy sinus stalactites clog my nasal breathin’ holes.
And there’s fungus here among us growin’ twixt ten smelly toes.
And the stink’ll make you think it must be time to change your hose.
OOOH! The stench’ll curl your nose hairs heaven knows.

Earwax slowly trickles down my eerie ear canals.
And toe jam jams the crevices of all my toenail pals.
An avalanche of dandruff boulders showers down upon my shoulders,
And my doctor nods and jots another note inside my folder.
OOOH! And his nurse says I’ll get worse as I get older.

Halitosis haunts my speech and my cornfusional orations.
As my teeth decay and rot away from cavity excavations.
Puss filled acne polka dots my face. Pimples are poppin’ up everyplace.
I’m a disgrace as an example of the human race.
OOOH! It looks like I may be a hopeless case.

Unspeakable odors waft up from down below.
They breezily squeeze with ease between my knees as they flow.
Whiff my pungent armpit aroma, and you will end up in a coma.
You’ll be longin’ for the pleasant scent of ol’ Tacoma.
OOOH! You’d rather have a squirtin’ skunk inside your home. AHHH!

Two bloodshot orbs gaze back at me when in the mirror I stare.
A wrinkled road map decorates the face that’s gawkin’ there.
Soon my receding hairline’ll leave my head completely bare.
I don’t know why I bother livin’ when this life is so unfair.
OOOH! Now applaud and pretend you even care.

Here a video of me performing this one live at GrangeStock IV Grossosity!


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reggie miles
Date: 30 Jun 18 - 02:05 AM

I'm Old
by Reggie Miles ©2016 All rights reserved

I'm old, yes I'm old, and I found out today
My tired old frame just gets in the way
So I guess I'll move on and try to find me some place
Where a man can grow older and die with some grace

I've done so many things with the times of my life
I courted an beauty and I made her my wife
I found a good job and then we settled down
Bought a small house on the outskirts of town

I raised a fine family. Shall I tell you their names?
There's Johnny and Mary and Annie and James
But now they've all gone and I'm bent from the wear
With withered old limbs and grey shaggy hair

I'm old, yes I'm old, and I found out today
My tired old frame, just gets in the way
I'm off on my own, after all of these years
Filled with laughter and love and sadness and tears

The American Dream, I've lived it you see
Spent all of my life in this land of the free
I've leveled her mountains and raped her great plains
Damned mighty rivers and poisoned her rains

I've reaped vast wealth, by polluting her soil
I've spoiled her oceans, by spilling her oil
There's not a fish in the sea, nor a bird in the air
That hasn't suffered or died while under my care

I'm old, yes I'm old, and I realized today
My time round here hasn't all gone way
I have no balance in this worldly place
Only struggles and strife over faith, wealth, and race

I have fought mighty battles and wars by the score
I've left millions to starve and ignored the poor
Destruction and death have been my legacy
In the wake of such hate, who cares about me

I've left no solutions only more of the same
No comfort I've given to ease anyone's pain
My words have been lies, my heart's been a stone
I guess it's befitting that I die all alone

I'm old, yes I'm old, and I've naught left to do
But to say my goodbye and farewell to you
And if I should ever pass this way again
I'll try to do better with my time spent here then

Here's a link to the song...

https://www.reverbnation.com/reggiemiles/song/25649864-im-old


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:41 PM

Jim, yes, that's the song, All Used Up: glad you found it.

The un-named one I mentioned that Iain Mackintosh used to sing is called "Run the Film Backwards" and is also here on YouTube:
Run the Film Backwards

And here is:
"Pleasantly Pleased to be Sixty" by Ian McCalman

I am pleasantly pleased to be sixty
Astounded that I've lived so long
I had a great time till I reached fifty-nine
I thought that was it, but I'm wrong
It's not at all bad to be sixty
And frankly I'm doing OK
Apart from the sight in my mirror at night
There are no other signs of decay
Delighted to wake up each day

I accept all the gifts l I'm given
My heating, my bus pass and all
I really don't care, but if it is there
I'll take it no matter how small
I can be just as ill as I want to
And Google my symptoms with glee
I can do a sore back or a mild heart attack
Or die, if I want to, for free

It's my job to annoy younger people
Like, "How old do you think I am?"
They tell me I'm mad and I tell them they're bad
But frankly I don't give a damn
And I never drive above 30
No matter the limits or signs
It's amazing how slow my Toyota can go
With an angry Mercedes behind
Sometimes it's cruel to be kind

I am pleasantly pleased to be sixty
I'm far from the end of the line
There's so much to do and there's so much to do
And I'll do it, 'cause I have the time
It's not at all bad being sixty
But one thing is bothering me
My memory's gone and I can't finish songs..................


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:25 PM

How could I have forgotten this one!!

From Burns's 'Merry Muses of Caledonia
Jim Carroll

WAD YE DAE THAT?
Gudewife, when your gudeman’s frae hame,
Micht I but be sae bauld,
As come to your bed-chaumer,
When winter nichts are cauld;
As come to your bed-chaumer,
When nichts are cauld an wat,
An lie in your gudeman’s steed,
Wad ye dae that?

Young man, an ye should be sae kind,
When oor gudeman’s frae hame,
As come to my bed-chaumer,
Where I am laid my lane;
An lie in oor gudeman’s steed,
I will tell you what,
He fucks me five times ilka nicht,
Wad ye dae that?


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 06:10 PM

We seem to have missed good old Tom Lehrer's "When You Are Old and Gray".


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:24 PM

By implication, Bonnie Bessie Logan... "ower young for me"...


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:53 PM

This one
Jim Carroll

ALL USED UP


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Peter the Squeezer
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:41 PM

This from Paddy Roberts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cizeuckgJYg


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:38 PM

A couple that the late Iain Mackintosh used to sing:
Waltzing around in the Nude, and
(Can't remember the title) a song that started at death, then worked back through old age, pension age, middle age, young married, pre-married, teenage years, boyhood, babyhood and finally back in mother's womb!

Ian McCalman has one about being reasonably accepting of reaching sixty.

And, Jim Carroll, is the "All Used Up" song way up the thread, Feb 01, the one you want? Very powerful song. The late John Wright also sang it.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 12:15 PM

Re the young man of 25 - remember this old classic:--


Barry Mann - Teenage Has-Been


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Pseudonymous
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:56 AM

The other day I saw a young man of about 25 singing a self-penned story about how he wished he were still young. 'Hardly out of short trousers' was my comment. Then I was told that nowadays they don't do that short trousers into long trousers thing any more.

Menopausal men with expensive guitars. Owch! Too near the knuckle to attempt in public. Nicely observed. Ear-ring in one ear as another detail?

What about

They think they look sexy with the new guitar
But a mere phallic symbol won't get them far.
When it comes down to it, their ding-a-ling
Is in deep need of a set of new strings.

Love the Hesitation Blues!


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:50 AM

Can anybody remember the beautiful American song sung by a protest singer (now dead) who used to contribute to thus forum "They say that I'm All done up... washed up...
Would very much appreciate hearing it again
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 08:22 AM

Charlie Poole's 'Old and Grey & only in the way' would suit


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Stanron
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 05:38 AM

How about this

Medication Blues
To the tune of Hesitation Blues

Doctor told me, hope it's a lie
You'll never get better till the day you die.

CHORUS Tell me how long do I have to wait?
Am I all right now or should I medicate?

Three pills in the morning, Two at night,
Another calms me down in case I don't get it right,

A capsule is a capsule, a pill is a pill
If complacency don't get me then anxiety will

I don't like the red ones, I don't like the blue (Double take at the audience)
I'm not so sure I like the look of you

I'm standing on the corner, I'm just not sure,
Am I looking for a lover, a dealer or a cure?

Friends come round, so they say
Just wanna get high on my Nitro spray

The Altzeimer verse (apologies for any offense)

Standing in the kitchen (Parlour, Rest room, Diner, stair well, bar room, etc) looking at the floor,
Just can't remember what I came here for.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 05:33 AM

and finally it's Tom...

The Green Green Grass of Home

1.The old crowd looks the same, as I step out on the stage.
And there’s the roar of the same old fans to greet me,
Oh it’s Alice, Doris, Lily and Mary,
Skin a little wrinkly and chins a little hairy
They’ve all been put out to the green, green grass of home.

2. When they were maidens young and fair, they used to throw their underwear,
Upon the stage where I would strut my stuff so boldly
Now it’s only ladies of a certain age, who still try to throw their knickers on the stage,
But they’ve been put out to the green green grass of home

And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
And landed on the green green grass of home.

3. I used to use those knickers as a towel to wipe the sweat from off my brow,
And throw them back to the sound of all that screaming,
But nowadays I’m not so keen, because, after all, you don’t know where they’ve been,
It’s so sad to think of that green green grass of home.

4.Well you wouldn’t hear me complain, when those knickers fell like rain,
Though one or two had probably been weed in,
But nowadays before they start throwing , they’ve probably wet themselves without even knowing,
They’re out to graze on the green, green grass of home.

And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
And landed on the green green grass of home.

3. These days I move a little slower, my voice a little lower,
But as we all know things drop as we get older,
Some of those knickers won’t reach me, this I know,
They’ll only get as far as the second row,
And land there on the green green grass of home.

6. Oh, just like these ladies her, these are my twilight years,
And I suppose I’d better enjoy the time remaining
And no use pretending , though it’s sad,
Look out, here comes an incontinence pad,
It’s a health and safety issue on the green, green grass of home.


And those knickers hot and sweaty, they rained down like confetti,
As I sang of the green green grass of home.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:39 AM

Menopausal Men with Expensive Guitars

1.        He turned 55 with great expectations
His lady wife knew that he was hatching a scheme
Caught him playing air guitar with a tennis racket
Retired accountant gonna live the dream

He begged and he pleaded til she finally relented
Drove his car down to that music store
That top of the range Taylor was just the beginning
Now he’s got the bug and he just wants more

Menopausal Men (What’s the world coming to?)
Expensive Guitars( Gibson Takamine)
Menopausal men (it’s becoming an obsession)
Expensive guitars (where will it all end?)
See them everywhere in all the cafes and bars
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)

2.        Every night you’ll find him down the open mike,
With a poser hat and a pair of cool shades
Squinting at a tuner, running through the chords,
Waiting for his turn to get up on that stage

Wound up tightly like a coiled spring,
Soon he’ll be knocking on heaven’s door.
Words on a music stand in a big font,
‘Headin down the highway with his geetar.’

Menopausal Men (at least it keeps him out of mischief)
Expensive Guitars (howling down the mike)
Menopausal men (now he wants another one)
Expensive guitars((keeps him off the motorbike )
See them everywhere those budding suprerstars
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)

He badgered he pestered and got his first gig,
First step on the ladder to making it big
Now he’s thinking Glastonbury try hard to humour him
The new Bob Dylan, Neil Young or Leonard Cohen


3.        He’s written a song about a failed relationship
Guitars hanging up on every spare bit of wall
Combat trousers with 28 pockets
You’ve got to look the part if you want to walk tall.

Dashing from one open mike to the other
Popping up here, there and everywhere
Gets one of his mates to record it on his smartphone
Puts it on facebook for the world to share.


Menopausal Men (kids pretend they don’t know him)
Expensive Guitars (so cool and hip)
Menopausal men (now he wants a Lowden)
Expensive guitars((on an ego trip)
A wild desperado with a bus pass
Those Menopausal men with expensive guitars)


Menopausal Men (now he’s doing wagon wheel)
Expensive Guitars (too old for learning words)
Menopausal Men (Not bloody “Halleluyah”)
Expensive guitars (can he have more reverb)
It’s about time they were put out to grass
Those menopausal men with expensive guitars.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:34 AM

Eastbourne Viagara Blues

(Sung as fastish 12 bar)

Well, I woke up this morning,
With a twinkle in my eye,
Well I woke up this morning, spring in my step, glad to be alive,
Though I was 92 last week, doctor gave me these pills
Which made me feel like I’m 25.

No more afternoon naps now, Doris
No more gentle strolls along the prom.
No more moaning about the price of things,
No more playing bowls from this moment on,
Cos I’m a testosterone fuelled rocket
Ugh!!!I’m a sex machine so turn me on

Gonna head on down to Eastbourne ,Doris,
Like that Bionic Man , I’ve been remade
Gonna head on down to Eastbourne, Doris,
Where everyone is 80 in the shade,
Though they call it the Costa Geriatrica, those passionkiller Marks and Spencers knickers ain’t gonna stop me getting my wicked way!

No more of them toasted teacakes
Wave goodbye to those buttered “scewnes”,
No more of them toasted teacakes now,
Say goodbye to those buttered “scewnes”,
(that’s how they say ‘scones’ in Eastbourne)
No more delicate bone china teacups,
Gonna spew up my 15 pints of rotweiler lager in the road.

Gonna throw way that zimmerframe, babe
I think I’m seeing red
I’m gonna listen to that sound of shattering glass
Gonna kick in someone’s head
‘Cos I shot a man in Brighton,
‘Cos he wouldn’t speak up so I could hear what he said..


Won’t you squeeze my teabag,
Till the juice runs down my chins,
Squeeze my teabag
Till that juice runs all down my chins,
Got that lead back in my pencil
And that zing back in my dingaling

Because my doctor’s given me these pills, now
Feel like I’m born again,
My doctor’s given me this Viagra pills,
Old John Thomas will rise again,
(ooh I say…)
So I’m off on my club 85/100 holiday,
Silver shaggers here we come.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 04:10 AM

Grown Up Now

Hey look, mum, I can do a stand up wee
Hey I’m really grown up now
No more nappies or sitting on the potty,
Hey I’m really grown up now
From small acorns big oak trees grow
And a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
So I’m off to write my name in the snow
The boy has become the man.

Hey mum, I can ride my bike
Hey I’m really grown up now
Tall in the saddle sort of John Wayne Like
Hey I’m really grown up now
Look mum, no hands can you believe ?
I fly through the air with the greatest of ease
“Bang” hey look,mum, no front teeth
The boy has become the man

Yesterday I used the f-word
Hey I’m really grown up now
And one or two other ones that I’ve heard
Hey I’m really grown up now
And very soon I’ll say a few more
Though I wouldn’t actually say that I swore
More like it fell down my trouser leg onto the floor
But the boy has become the man

Now I’m sixteen and ready to ride,
Hey I’m really grown up now
On my brand new Yamaha, my gleaming pride
Hey I’m really grown up now
Provisional licence and off we go
Though I didn’t see that patch of oil on the road
Three broken ribs are what I have to show
But the boy has become the man

Today I drank 15 pints of lager
Hey I’m really grown up now
You can probably guess the rest of the saga
Hey I’m really grown up now
We’ll all agree it was an absolute cert
That I’d bump into me mates Hughie and Bert
Technicolour yawn, my head don’t half hurt
But the boy has become the man

Today I kissed Tracey and we used tongues
Hey I’m really grown up now
And I had to hide the love bites from me mum
Hey I’m really grown up now
Three months later and we’ve gone all the way
Though it didn’t last very long I’m bound to say
But I’m gonna tell me mates it lasted all day
The boy has become the man

Me wedding was a piss up we were drunk as rats
Hey I’m really grown up now
And now we’ve spawned three revolting brats
Hey I’m really grown up now
I suppose you could say it was written in the stars
I’d end up selling insurance or second hand cars
Or something where you need to talk out of your arse
Yes the boy has become the man.

Now my mid life crisis has definitely arrived
Hey I’m really grown up now
And I’m entitled to my little bit on the side
Hey I’m really grown up now
The missus got headaches and a great big bum
Took her Brian Ferry albums and headed for the sun
Now the CSA are after five figure sum
Yes, the boy has become the man

Now I’m fiftysomething with a new lease of life
Hey I’m really grown up now
So I’ve gone out and bought a Yamaha motorbike
Hey I’m really grown up now
I’ll relive my youth, give her full welly
With a pair of tight leathers to hold in my belly
Do I feel a pratt? no not on your nelly
For the boy has become the man

Now I’ve drawn me pension and I walk with a stick
Hey I’m really grown up now
Into second childhood I slowly drift
Hey I’m really grown up now
Senility rules , incontinence is bliss
Moaning all the time, just a grumpy old git
Maybe if I reach 100 I may well yet
See the child become the man


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 29 Jun 18 - 02:11 AM

Surely one of the most sensitive traditional songs about getting old is the 'drunken daft" You mariners All

And when I'm old and can scarcely crawl,
I've an old grey beard and a head that's bald
Crowwn my desire and fulfil my wish;
A pretty young girl and a jug of this

Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,Pseudonymous
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 01:25 PM

Re the OP on this thread.

Ice for piles? Never thought of that. Cheers!

At what age does it become utterly inappropriate to sing 'Teenage Kicks'? is another good question.

Pseu


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 12:00 PM

'Nee Bliddy Good gettin aad' by Ed Pickford- Sunderland song which doesn't translate to southern parts very well, although I believe Geordie Murison of Stonehaven is doing it now...

- if you want the words, check Ed's website & I can be found singing it on Youtube if you don't have the dots!


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Subject: Lyr Add: I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jun 18 - 11:19 AM

I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUNG ANYMORE
Words by Alan Jay Lerner, music by Frederick Loewe.
From the film "Gigi" (1958)
As recorded by Maurice Chevalier

Poor boy, poor boy!
Downhearted and depressed and in a spin—
Poor boy, poor boy!
Oh, youth can really do a fellow in.

How lovely to sit here in the shade
With none of the woes of man and maid!
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The rivals that don't exist at all,
The feeling you're only two feet tall—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more confusion; no morning-after surprise,
No self-delusion that when you're telling those lies
She isn't wise;
And even if love comes through the door,
The kind that goes on forevermore,
Forevermore is shorter than before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!

The tiny remark that tortures you,
The fear that your friends won't like her too—
I'm glad I'm not young anymore.
The longing to end the stale affair
Until you find out she doesn't care—
I'm glad that I'm not young anymore.
No more frustration; no star-crossed lover am I.
No aggravation, just one reluctant reply:
"Lady, goodbye!"
The fountain of youth is dull as paint.
Methuselah is my patron saint.
I've never been so comfortable before.
Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not young anymore!


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: oldhippie
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 11:51 AM

When I'm 64
The Remember Song - Tom Rush


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: David C. Carter
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 06:03 AM

Desperados Waiting For A Train

Guy Clark.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: GUEST,LynnH
Date: 16 Aug 17 - 04:04 AM

To the tune of "The Sailors Alphabet", Verses: Mike Boydon, chorus: Lynn Wise.

The Oldsters (Oldies) Alphabet

A's for arthritis, B's the bad back
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line
CHORUS: Merrily, merrily, so merry go we
       Zimmer Frames and rollators they make our way fre               
       Dementia, infirmity, what e'er comes along
       Give us oldsters (oldies)our tablets and nothing goes wrong!

F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention
H is high blood pressure, I'd rather it low
I for incisions with scars you can show

J is for joints out of socket, won't mend
K is for knees that crack when they bend
L is libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears
T for tinnitus, there's bells in my ears

U is for urinary, big troubles with flow
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy' you know
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found

Y is another year I'm left here behind
Z is for zest that I still have - in my mind
Z is also for zonked, how I feel all the time
So now I have brought all the letters in rhyme

I've survived all the symptoms my body's deployed
And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed
May your troubles be less, your bleesings be more
And nothing but happiness come through your door.


Mike Boydon is in his mid-eighties so I assume he's written this from experience! Mike calls it 'Oldsters Alphabet', but 'Oldies' is a bit easier to sing.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 15 Jun 11 - 07:16 AM

PEOPLE MY AGE _ John Gorka

People my age
Have started looking gross
I cannot say all
And I shouldn't say most
I've seen 'em in the grocery
I've seen 'em up close
And People my age
Have started looking gross

People my age
Are showing some wear
There's holes where their teeth was
And their heads have gone bare
Their brains are shrinking
Faces sinking into fat
And as for the mirror
We won't be looking into that

People my age
Have started looking gross
Maybe not in Colorado
Or up the Silicon Coast
Back in Pennsylvania
I'd eat scrapple on toast
Those were my first steps
On the road to looking gross

People my age
Are looking overripe
Some are getting operations
To tighten up what ain't tight
What gravity's ruined
They try to fix with a knife
What's pleasant in the darkness
Is plain scary in the light


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Richard from Liverpool
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 10:16 AM

How's about this one? Speaks very clearly of the ravages of old age.

Poor Old Horse
Song performed by mummers in the 'Old Horse' play, recorded particularly in Yorkshire around Derbyshire - it made its way into the cities via printed broadsides

Once I was reared in a stable so warm
To keep my tender limbs free from any pain or harm
There's no such usage now, nor can be found at all
I'm forced to travel on a winter's night through hail or rain or snow
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

My food it was once of the best corn and hay
That grew in all the fields or in the meadows gay
But now I am grown old and scarsely can I crawl
I'm forced to eat the coarsest grass that grows against the wall
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

My clothing was once of the shining superfine
Then I stood in my stable and did in my glory shine
But now I am grown old and nature does decay
My master frowns upon me and this I hear him say
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

"He is old and he is cold, and he is both dull and slow
He has eaten up my hay, and has spoiled all my straw
Nor either is he fit to draw in with my team –
Take him and whip him" is now my master's theme
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

To the huntsman now shall go my old hide and shoes
Likewise my tender carcass the hounds will not refuse
My body that so lately had run so many miles
Over hedges, ditches, brooks and bridges, fences, gates and stiles
Poor old horse! Poor old horse!

(I have recorded a rough and ready version of this song to a tune collected in Liverpool by Frank Kidson: http://aliverpoolfolksongaweek.blogspot.com/2011/04/4-poor-old-horse.html )


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reynard
Date: 14 Jun 11 - 04:43 AM

Re Maids when you're young- just found it here:

http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=3003&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+mudcat2+%28mudcat.org+RSS+Feed%29

The version I have from Sam Larner is slightly different so here it is anyway:

MAIDS WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG NEVER WED AN OLD MAN

An old man came courting me, hey ding doorum down               
An old man came courting me, hey duram down.
An old man came courting me, fain would he marry me
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
For he's got no faloorum, falliddle ol day
He's got no faloorum, he's lost his ding doorum
So maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to the church, hey ding doorum down
When we went to the church, hey duram down.
When we went to the church, he left me in the lurch
Maids when you're young, never wed an old man

Now when we went to our bed, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to our bed, hey duram down.
When we went to our bed, he neither done nor said
Maids when you're young never wed an old man

Now when he went to sleep, hey ding doorum dah
Now when we went to sleep, hey duram down.
When we went to sleep, out of bed I did creep
Into the arms of a jolly young man

And I found his faloorum, falliddle ay oorum
I found his faloorum, falliddle ol day
I found his faloorum, he got my dingdoorum
So maids when you're young never wed an old man.

Alternative ending (Julian Flood)

Now he's got Viagra, hey ding doorum dah,
He's got Viagra, hey duram down;
When he takes Viag-a-ra he comes like Niagara,
Maids when you're young you can wed an old man.

He found his faloorum etc


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:15 PM

I just cut and pasted the Todd Snider song and noticed some errors:

"so hell me, i know, i know, i know" should be "so help me, I know, I know, I know"


"I meant every fool that ever signed" should be "I've met every fool that ever signed"

"I been threw seven managers" should be "I've been through seven managers"

"three bands, a band, a bunch of guitar stands" should be "Three bands and a bunch of guitar stands"


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:06 PM

Age Like Wine    Todd Snider

Old timer, Old timer
It's too late to die young now
Old timer, five and dimer
Trying to find a way to age like wine somehow

my new stuff is nothing like my old stuff was
and either one is much when compared to a show
which will not be as good as another one you saw...
so hell me, i know, i
know, i know

I am an old timer, old timer
it's too late to die young now
old timer, five and dimer
trying to find a way to age like wine somehow

I meant every fool that ever signed
their name up on these walls in the backs of these beer halls and concert halls.
I been threw seven managers,
five labels, a thousand picks and patch cables,
three bands, a band, a bunch of guitar stands,
and cans, and cans, and cans of beer, a bottles of boozes and bags of pot,
and a thousand other things that I forgot.

I thought that I be dead by now... but I'm not.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: PHJim
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 11:02 PM

Sam Baker's WAVES

So many years, so many hardships
So many laughs, so many tears
So many things to remember
'Cause they had 50 years

Now the kids, they got their own kids
Their own kids have grown
She told him not to worry
Say he'd be fine when she was gone

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch the water, kneels to pray
Writes her name in sand
Waves wash it away

There are seagulls circling shrimp boats
That turn inside the bay
There's an emptiness inside
That never goes away

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch the water, kneels to pray
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away

So many years, so many hardships
So many laughs, so many tears
So many things he cannot remember
'Cause they had 50 years

He walks down to the ocean
Bends to touch kneels to pray
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away
He writes her name in the sand
Waves wash it away


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: reynard
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 08:04 AM

Let's not forget "Maids When you're young never wed an old man", a song of great impotence as it says in here somewhere- but I don't see the words so I'll dig them out later.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: Bert
Date: 13 Jun 11 - 01:27 AM

Here's a new one of mine.

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I want a pick up truck with monster wheels
I want to be stacked up with sex appeal
I want tatoos on my arms and chest
A Harley and a black leather vest
I want to let my hair grow long
I want to get to Nashville with this song
I want a Cowboy hat and belt and boots
I want a hand tailored white silk suit

I wanna have a mid life crisis
but if the truth be told
I can't have a mid life crisis
My wife says I'm too old

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date
I wanna have a mid life crisis
My wife says it's too late
She said
        I coulda had a crisis at Forty
        or even at Fifty Five
        If I'd wanted a mid life crisis
        I should have done it while I'm still alive

I wanna drive a bright red sports car
with a pretty young blond for a date

Spoken:
I don't think my wife would go for the blond
But how about a sports car?
a 59 Subeam Alpine in British Racing green


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 11:02 PM

"Rum and Coconut Water" originally "Gin and Coconut Water" by Wilmoth Houdini. "I remember when I was young, I was very robust and strong."


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: pavane
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 04:37 AM

Bob Dylan, always wanting to be different, wrote one about getting YOUNGER

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now"
(My Back Pages)


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Subject: Lyr Add: GENERATIONS OF CHANGE (Matt Armor)
From: Captain Ginger
Date: 10 Apr 08 - 03:07 AM

Matt Armor's "Generations of Change" is a fine song on growing older and handing on the baton to the young.

GENERATIONS OF CHANGE
(Matt Armor)

My faither was a baillie frae a wee fairm at Caiplie
He worked on the land a' the days o' his life
By the time he made second he aye said he reckoned
He'd ploughed near on half o' the East Neuk o' Fife
He fee'd on at Randerston, Crawhill and Clephinton
Cambo and Carnbee and big Rennie Hill
At Kingsbarn he married, at Boarhills he's buried
But man, had he lived, he'd be ploughing on still

        For those days were his days, those ways were his ways
        Tae follow the ploo while his back was still strong
        But those days have passed and the time came at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young.


I wisnae fir plooin', tae the sea I wis goin'
Tae follow the fish and the fisherman's ways
In rain, hail and sunshine I've watched the lang run line
Nae man mair contented his whole working day
I've lang lined the Fladden Ground, the Dutch and the Dogger Bank
Pulled the big fish frae the deep Devil's Hole
I've side trawled off Shetland, the Faroes and Iceland
In weather much worse than a body could thole.

        For that day was my day, that way was my way
        Tae follow the fish while my back was still strong
        But that day has passed and the time come at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young


My sons they have grown and away they have gone
Tae search for black oil in the far northern sea
Like oilmen they walk and like Yankees they talk
There's no' much in common 'tween my sons and me
They've rough rigged on Josephine, Forties and Ninian
Claymore and Dunlin, Fisher and Awk
They've made fortunes for sure for in one run ashore
They spend more than I earned in a whole season's work

        But this day is their day, this way is their way
        Tae ride the rough rigs while their backs are still strong
        But this day will pass and the time come at last
        For the weakness of age to make way for the young


My grandsons are growing, to the school they're soon going
But the lang weeks o' summer they spend here wi' me
We walk through the warm days, talk o' the auld ways
The cornfield and codfish, the land and the sea
We walk through the fields my father once tilled
Talk wi' the old men that once sailed wi' me
Man, it's been awfu' good, I showed them all I could
O' the past and the present, what their future might be

   For the morn will be their day, what will be their way
        What will they make of their land, sea and sky
Man, I've seen awfu' change but it still it seems gie strange
        Tae look at my world through a young laddie's eyes.


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Subject: RE: Songs about getting older?
From: meself
Date: 09 Apr 08 - 10:34 PM

'Too Old to Think' (Sonny Boy Williamson II)

'Dublin in The Rare Ould Times'


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