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BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
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Subject: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:24 AM WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! FEMALE ORGASM BY REMOTE CONTROL A newly patented electronic implant could deliver orgasms at the push of a button, a device that could help women who are otherwise unable to achieve orgasms. Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., got the idea for the orgasmic electronics while performing a routine pain-relief operation on a woman's spine. The surgery uses electrical pulses delivered through implanted electrodes in the spine to modify pain signals passing along the nerves. "I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically," Meloy says in the journal New Scientist. The stimulating device would be implanted in one of the buttocks and operated by remote control. Though the implant is almost as large as a pack of cigarettes, "If young women of 15 or so are having painful operations to enlarge their breasts when they don't have to, are you kidding? Of course it'll be used," says Jim Pfaus at Concordia University in Montreal. Meloy expects clinical trials to begin later this year. Though he has yet to test the device on men, Meloy says there's no reason it shouldn't work the same way. Patrish xxxxxx
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:28 AM Will they be looking for volunteers for the clinical tests? The Mudcat Female Scientific Research Group (me and any others who wanna join) would be only too glad to help. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:33 AM aN "oRGASMITRON"! bARBARELLA - NO? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:40 AM YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lady McMoo Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:42 AM "Exclaiming emphatically"!! Is this the medical term for it? (:>) mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: JedMarum Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:43 AM It works for men too, by the way - but the electronic version still leaves them sleepy afterwards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:56 AM Sign me up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Steve Parkes Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:00 AM Call me old-fashioned, but I still prefer the manual method! Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Noreen Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:01 AM Thanks Patrish! I'm all in favour of scientific research. Noreen MMFSRG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Gary T Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:05 AM Implanted in one of the buttocks, eh? Might be interesting if the device developed a glitch to where every time you sat down..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:10 AM Mudcat Female Scientific Research Group Mission Statement We, the Members of the Mudcat Female Scientific Research Group (MMFSRG) hereby declare our intentions to push forward the boundaries of knowledge and strive for satisfaction in the interests of science. We aim to provide a stimulating influence in current research, and welcome all new developments with open...arms. (*Please note: The MFSRG is in no way affilated with the NYCFTTS, unless we're talking Screwed in the Biblical Sense) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,bflat Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:11 AM Sounds satisfying but, no thanks, too much like a road to a world of Amazon women; no men needed. When intimacy looses it's role in orgasm what will the new love songs become? Honey, I'll love myself as long as my battery pack lasts or You recharge me baby like Energizer. Forgetaboutit! But, if it works for you, then go girl! Ellen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Llanfair Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:12 AM You have GOT to be kidding!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: bill\sables Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:13 AM Open Arms ?????????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:18 AM I am a scientist. My interest is purely scientific. I am prepared to sacrifice my time and energy in a selfless manner for the benefit of humankind. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Wolfgang Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:19 AM Thanks for the volunteers, but don't forget that three quarters of you have to be tested in the different control groups and it will be not your choice whether you are in one of the controls or in the experimental group. And then think of the pitfalls of remote control. When you realise you have left the control at home and your child just has detected it and plays the buttons while you are in a conference. Wolfgang |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Metchosin Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:21 AM Steve, there is a third method *BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:24 AM So... if I get an extra button on the tv remote, that's another job I can do without getting out of the chair! Great! Not tonight dear, the batteries have run down! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Mrrzy Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:28 AM I love the idea of the kids getting the remote... LOL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:31 AM Kinda makes a new angle of advertising available to the Energizer bunny.......think about it.... :)
Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Grab Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:57 AM Slightly relevant to this email I got last year. ENERGIZER BUNNY FOUND DEAD!! Today, the world was stunned by the news of the death of the Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the death occurred approximately 8:42 last evening. Best known as the irritating pink bunny that kept going, and going, and going. "Pinkie", as he was known to his friends and family, was alone at the time of his death. An emergency autopsy was performed early this morning. Chief Medical Examiner, Dura Cell, concluded that the cause of death was acute cardiac arrest induced by sexual over-stimulation. Apparently, someone had put the bunny's batteries in backwards and he kept coming, and coming, and coming... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:58 AM What, no need for dental dams any longer ??? What's Hannibal Lector gonna do ?? ;-) Would it work for guys for whom Viagra is a fizzle ???? So many questions. (It does sound great. Go for it.) But be warned: my good friend had a male organ transplant in recent times. His hand rejected it. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:00 AM He should get a new hand. From the Second Hand shop - ho, ho, ho. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Grab Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:03 AM Incidentally, this New Scientist article is the source of the story - more details about it in there. I like the comment about the woman "exclaiming emphatically" saying "You're going to have to teach my husband how to do that." :-) Grab. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: LR Mole Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:05 AM I'll have what she's having. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Metchosin Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:10 AM Oh gee, does this mean I don't have to sit on the clothes dryer anymore? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: annamill Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:13 AM Personally, I don't feel this is a good idea. We fight now over who get to hold the TV remote! Imaging this situation!! Love,annamill |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Morticia Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:16 AM I already get cranky when I can't find the tv remote....I could see me getting very terse when I lost this one! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,BigDaddy Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:17 AM Could we get back to the oral tradition, please? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,petr Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM there was a recent story about the guy who had the worlds first hand transplant, the body rejected the hand.. Now its one thing to be rejected by women, but when your own hand rejects you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: KingBrilliant Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 AM I already have a remote control, on the soles of my feet. Anyone else have that? - it makes walking across gravel a really weird experience. Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:03 PM Naw, don't need no wires. Use soul-to-soul messaging instead. See me privately for details. ~Happy in PA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Wolfgang Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:10 PM sole-to-sole massages? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:10 PM I have just deleted what I originally wrote here Patrish PS I read it, and realised everyone else would too!! PPS It was about remote controls!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: KingBrilliant Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:14 PM Come on Patrish - I've revealed my foot control. Surely you can tell us whatever it was. Go on we won't tell nobody..... Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: KingBrilliant Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:18 PM Brilliant thread proximity!!!! This thread is immediately followed by the plaintive cry of "do I need a vibrator" Ooops, me sides've split. Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: RichM Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM Wait, wait: it's obvious that men should be in charge of the remote--due to our fascination -and vast experience- with the TV remote! So girls, hand it over... ;) Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:20 PM Awww, Rich wants to press the magic button! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: InOBU Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:26 PM Well, the first danger that comes to mind concerns remote control bombs in Ireland. England began to transmit up and down the frequency spectrum to trigger any bombs being placed. Now, should this thing catch on, and say, become common in some war zone where remote bombs were being scaned for... well, I just cant emagine walking down the street in such a place! Srcatching his head in wonder! Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:27 PM So ladies, for a real good time, replace the TV remote with this new remote but don't tell the man in your life. Cause you know it'll be HOURS before any of us think to actually stand up and change the channel. we'll just keep pressing this one harder and harder....... Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM Wow, Tom Swift and his electric dildoe has returned. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Noreen Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM ROTFLMAO! Thanks, Wolfgang. Well, to design the experiment: Control groups: . 1. No stimulation |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:46 PM Hmmm, good idea Noreen, we could try: 1. No stimulation 2. Electronic box 3. Manual 4. The insert-flap-A-into-slot-B normal Friday evening shenanigans 5. The Russell-Crowe-in-his-Gladiator-outfit fantasy aspect 6. The aphrodisical affects of a half bottle of Smirnoff 7. Chocolate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: RichM Date: 09 Feb 01 - 12:56 PM Fibula mentioned chocolate...yum... ...Even if you dispute that it's an aphrodisiac, any excuse to comsume chocolate is valid!
Damn...I have NO chocolate in the house, there's freezing rain outside, and I have to drive to the dentist soon. Rich Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Noreen Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM Fibula- and combinations of the above?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lox Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:02 PM I've had an organic (orgasmic) version for years now, so I'm not really too impressed I'm afraid - sorry. It's comfy in the palm of the hand too ;) lox |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lox Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:03 PM Oh yeah, I forgot, I don't mind letting the woman use it either. I've given up fighting.;) lox |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:06 PM Orgasm at the press of a button......am I the only one that already gets that????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Feb 01 - 01:14 PM Isn't getting there at least half the fun? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Justa Picker Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:09 PM So much for foreplay. Comes down to just whistle if and when you want me. (In the meantime I'll go and re-string a guitar.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,BS is right Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:14 PM PUHLEEEEEESE. The mudcat, tho there are beautiful exceptions like the caring notes to the 'catter who wants to help a friend, is for MUSIC. Even the BS threads should in general be about music, and the thread titles family rated :) My humble opinion. I have opinions about the topic of the thread as well, but won't prolong the tastelessness. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:42 PM And another comment that this should be a music thread and it's tasteless sent to us by.....uh...wait a minute, oh that's right!! They didn't sign their name surprise!! Besides that, if you've helped in any way to bring a woman to an orgasm, even if it's at the press of a button, haven't you made beautiful music together???? Frank P.S. Sorry, it's been a long day and an attack at the nameless seemed to be in order..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Don Firth Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:44 PM If you think sex is tasteless, you're not doing it right. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:50 PM One in te hand is worth two of George Bush ! Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Dharmabum Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:51 PM There once was a comely young lass Who's orgasms just seem to pass She took drastic measures To obtain inner pleasures By implanting a remote in her ass.
Now she loves all it'll give'er
But one day the batteries went dead DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:54 PM Wow, Guest BS is Right, Did you get a rule book when you joined the Mudcat? I didn't get a rule book. How come I didn't get a rule book? Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Dani Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:55 PM Do you think this might finally have done the ol' 'Spaw in? Because I am not believing that he's not here yet. I know there's a reason... And secondly, I happened upon a quote yesterday that I THOUGHT was about eating, but now I see that it was not... "Food without hospitality is merely medicine" Dani |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:57 PM Hehehehehehehe this WOULD have to happen in North Carolina! Oh my God, King Brilliant...you're a one in a million! You just the kind of woman that raving foot-lovers like me search everywhere for! Mmmphhhh...must resist!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:33 PM Nicely done, Dharmabum! This implant is just another step down the path that will lead to us all living inside our glass bubbles, never coming in physical contact with another human being. See I Robot. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:52 PM So mousethief, did the groundhog see it's shadow this year? Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Gypsy Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:54 PM Where do i sign up? Tough job, but certain you need volunteers ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:06 PM Carol, I don't understand why you ask that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:09 PM What good is anything if you can't share it with someone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:11 PM If you're serious and you don't remember, go look at my old "Beethoven's Birthday" thread. (Just wondering... ;-) Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:13 PM You CAN share this. Just think, if I held the remote while my lovely wife and I are sharing a "moment", then just as I'm about to finish my trip down romance lane, I hit the remote!! The timing would always be perfect, and just think of all the extra time you'll have to watch TV, read a book, talk...... ;) Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:28 PM Believe it or not Dani, Ol' Spaw DOES have a life outside of this joint!! LOL This is all much ado about nothing because the FDA is already being pressured by the American Cancer Society to keep this product off the market. Their argument is that the implant will contribute to already high cancer rates in women through increased orgasms. This product will give women the chance to have an orgasm anytime, hence increasing their tobacco consumption. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:36 PM Spaw, go home. Ah, yes, Carol, I remember that thread. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:38 PM Yeah, right. Any women who gets a surgical implant the size of a cigarette package put in one of her buttocks is probably so stupid that she wouldn't recognize an orgasm if she did have one. Orgasms are wasted on such people, as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, it would be fun activating the damn thing when she's in the checkout line at the grocery, I suppose... How about a brain implant that creates the illusion that everything is wonderful all the time, and that all one's needs can be met by simply going out to the mall and buying more stuff? I bet there'd be a lot of funding available to research and market that one... How about another one that makes everyone go out and vote for a member of the Bush family (a male member, needless to say...) in each succeeding American presidential election from here to eternity? I'd better shut up right now. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:43 PM ...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms... DO take care, ladies...(and please remember the difference between bio-electrical response and emotional satisfaction...I DO love seeing the smile that goes with the latter...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:56 PM Yep Bill, they attached it to their septum. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:03 PM The ladies, Matt? Or the mice? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:04 PM Wait a minute! I think we have finally found the ultimate diet guaranteed to work with no lingering cravings. Now for the supplements! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:07 PM Now, if the rat happened to be an atheist, and you could understand "ratese"...would he or she be chittering: Oh! Scientific method!!! Oh! Logic!!! Oh! Materialsim!!! Oh! Experimental Analysis!!! Oh! Rational pragmatism!!! And so on, until his little rodent synapses fried, and he keeled over and died...another victim of the relentless march of modern science, which has found the time to do totally ignoble and expensive things that most previous civilizations would probably not have wasted their time on in the first place...hopefully. Stealth bomber, anyone? Where's the remote? Oh, Congressional bipartisan committee!!! Ohhhh!!!! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:10 PM No..the rats. The septum is the pleasure center of the brain, just as the amygdala is the anger center. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:12 PM Bill D said: "...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms... " That's it! Market this thing as the ultimate weight-losing device! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:35 PM This DOES lead to music. Come on, tell-- how many of you couples make up songs, in bed, afterwards? Parodies on whatever happened that day? Therefore to balance the woman's ass, there should be an implant for the other cheek with a record function to capture the vocalizations and after-songs. Thats' why we differ from rats. They don't care about the songs at all. Is this why the neighbors' garage door keeps going up and down all night long?!?!?! I thought science had solved that signal leakage problem. Oh yeah. And what happens if you push what should be your wife's button, but your neighbor's wife comes? Is that considered cheating? "Honey, I SWEAR that was just signal leakage!" "Yeah right, I'm sure it was just your signal that was leaking all over the place...." Didja hear about the Olympic athlete? She thought it was a stopwatch, but when her coach pressed the button, she came running. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM I thought the septum was that thing that separates your nostrils? Which wouldn't be a part of the brain at all. S, you need a new hobby. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:10 PM Alex, that's called the septum too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:16 PM the bone that separates the nostrils is the 'vomer'.... and that little depression under your nostrils in the middle of the upper lip is the 'filtrum' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:20 PM seems we have 2 septums "The Vomer is a single relatively flat bone located in the mid-sagittal plane. It articulates with the perpendicular plate of the ethmoid superiorly and together aid in forming the "nasal septum". While it is frequently deflected slightly to the left or right, in general the septum is aligned perpendicularly and divides the the nasal aperture into the the left and right nasal passages. In addition to the Perpendicular Portion, superiorly the Vomer mushrooms out into a pair of Alae which terminate and articulate with the sphenoid in a heart shaped process. Inferiorly the Vomer rests on both the maxillae and the palatines. " |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM Bill, leave some trivia undisclosed so I can have the joy of discovering it later in life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:25 PM Cletus and Paw were involved in some early testing of this product as I recall...........helluva' story! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: sophocleese Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:31 PM Oh dear, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:40 PM MT...what if there IS no later in life?...and how do you know it's 'trivia' till you see it?(oh, I gots trivia whut I ain't begun to impart!...You will have plenty to keep you busy...) ...but I'll refrain...mostly |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:42 PM I don't like the thought of things articulating together in my nose. That's all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Homeless Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:57 PM Hey Bill - make that three septums. For women anyway - they have one between their... uh... and the... Well, it separates the.. ummm. We found out about it while my wife was pregnant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:00 PM ohhh, sure!! the 'taint!!!! *grin*,(very old joke) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:53 PM Imagine the chaos one could create if the entire female population were equipped with these implants and you were able to beam out a common signal through local radio stations at say...5:00 pm on a Monday, during the height of rush hour! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:13 PM I don't like that solo business. I think it should be controled by a magnetic switch implanted in the wall of the vagina. It would then be activated by magnets implanted in penises. Of course men would have to have a tatoo telling what kind of magnet they've go. Discriminaing women prefer Samariums over ALNICOs 2 to 1. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Metchosin Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM Wysiwyg, hate to admit it but we do the song thing in bed too....came running...ROTFLMAO |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:46 PM Well, if you really want a magnet implanted in your penis...but you'd have to be careful around metal doors and fire hydrants and such. Myself, I'd rather just read a good book on the Renaissance or count the birds flying by my window. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:48 PM Paw and Cletus were getting paid to test the male version of course and I guess the guys in the research department figured they had found just the right guys to test some of the stranger ideas. Now Paw had one that had a little voice simulator and when he got aroused, just prior to orgasm, it would shout! It'd have been a lot better if they hadn't picked up a surplus unit from some Japanese Video Game company, because what it yelled was "BONZAI!" That's enough to put almost anybody off, but when the damn thing shorted out and started giving him orgasms at random intervals only seconds apart............well it wore him out pretty quickly and I gotta' tell you it was truly pathetic to see him lying there on the ground, totally wasted, with his willy popping up and making a little tent in his bibs every few seconds. Of course the little Japanese voice gizmo kept right on screaming "BONZAI" but Ol' Paw just laid there, dick poppin' and body twitchin'. Cletus may have had it worse though. Evidently they must have had some idea about TV Marketing or something, because the model Cletus had was wired up to a Clapper. This wasn't too bad until Clete showed up at a rock concert and the applause was triggering the damn thing all the time. He ran up on the stage and tried to get people to stop, but he ended up in jail for "Indecent Exposure." They threw him in with a bunch of drunks that were going through the DT's and everytime one of them slapped themselves or the wall, Cletus went off. By the time they took him to the arraignment, he was barely able to stand and when he fell on the floor, the judge whacked down his gavel and of course.................He was lucky the company testers showed up. The judge gave THEM 6 months for "Corrupting a Congenital Idiot." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:54 PM Two in the Bush is worth maybe 3 in the hand.
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:02 PM sigh!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:22 PM That is quite a story, Spaw. I know it is incredible that I should be unsure about this, but...who is PAW? And who is CLETUS? Are they related to Cleigh O'Possum in any way? I know. I'm a dumbass. Fine. But please explain... - LH By the way, the expression is "BANZAI!!!" It means "Hurrah!" directly translated, and was used as a battle cry since time immemorial by the Japanese, and also as a cheer of enthusiasm at parades, sports events, and public spectacles of all kinds. Bonsai is a technique of miniaturizing trees, I think. Of course, the image that comes most readily to mind is a howling mob of insane and fanatical, buck-toothed, bug-eyed, Japanese soldiers, mostly wearing thick-lensed glasses, and waving swords, knives and rifles, charging suicidally into a fusilade of American machine gun fire. BAN-ZAAAAIIIIIII!!!! AMERICAN YOU DIIIIEEEEE!!! RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!! EEEEEYAAAGGGGHHH!!! BLAM! BLAM! "Ohhhh, say caint yew seeeeee..." Great for the John Wayne movies, right? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:36 PM Yeah, I know Hawk. As to the "boys".......That'd be Paw, Cletus, Buford and the Reg Boys. Paw, Cletus, and Buford, are just some good ol' boys that hang around here. They aren't bad guys, just some of the many that managed to slip through the cracks of our great society and now are just doing the best they can. The "Reg" boys are Rick Fielding's three half brothers, all named Reg. They showed up here a few years ago and struck up a freindship with Paw, Cletus, and Buford. Here's a thread you need to read to see how they first came on the scene and a few of their exploits.CLICK All of them have some dietary deficiencies which causes increased flatulence and you may recall how Paw flared one off and the resultant flame scorched an image of Jerry falwell on my garage wall. Just read some of the links in that thread and you begin to get the idea. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM Wall, shoot! Hot dang! Thanks, Spaw! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:47 PM Seems to me "Bonsai" is the appropriate exclamation here. Image of shrinking trees... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 PM I heard they are casting the movie, Spaw. Trying to get Leslie Nielsen for Paw, and Keanu Reeves for Cletus. Carrottop is apparently set to play all three Reg brothers. They're also apparently casting the pig who played Babe as Cleigh O'Possum, based on the fact that 87% of the viewing public have no idea what a possum looks like, and that 98.3% of those who do know what one looks like don't want to see it 23 feet tall on a movie screen. I also heard that you refused to release the movie rights until they had signed Bruce Willis to play you. Any truth to that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:17 AM Nah Leej, there's been a change in that. When we ran that thread a few weeks ago about who would play you in the story of your life, I asked Karen........I figured she'd have a good take on it so I asked, "Who would play me? Based on personality and all, who do you think would be best?"............So now we're waiting for an answer from Gene Hackman. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 10 Feb 01 - 01:04 AM .....hmmmm...since Percy Kilbride is no longer with us... (if you get THAT one, it shows something about you..) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: sledge Date: 10 Feb 01 - 02:53 AM What would happen if your neighbours TV remote, garage thingy etc operated on the same frequency. Dinner parties, bar b que's could become kind of interesting, lots of emphatic exclaiming?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Feb 01 - 07:46 AM I fear what knowledge of Bill's Percy Kilbride would mean so I will not commit on the issue except to say that I think he might better be suited for the role of Paw. Sounds like the kind of guy who would have experience in playing the role. That's my 2 cents in the kettle.........now, I'm NOT saying I know him mind you, just giving you my main thought. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Noreen Date: 10 Feb 01 - 09:50 AM Since the thread has crept anyway, a pedant's note... Banzai literally means 10,000 years hence 'long life' -> 'cheers' or 'hurrah'. But I agree with Sinsull about bonsai being possibly more appropriate in this context... Noreen |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:40 AM Damn shame Jerry Lewis isn't doing movies anymore, eh Spaw? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:48 AM No, its not. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:44 AM This thread still lacks a SONG. Hence , to musicify, I present the following humble offering:
Instant Comin'
Instant comin's gonna get you
Well we all turn on
Instant comin's gonna get you
Well we all turn on Copyright c 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 10 Feb 01 - 11:50 AM They say an orgasm is a form of applause, but this remote thing sounds like the sound of one hand clapping. However, Alex, your song is a delight and I, um, applaud your effort... no I mean I PRAISE it... oh you know what I mean! Be sure Aine gets this one when she comes back. I mean returns... oh you know what I mean! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lyrical Lady Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM Great Song Alex...my sentiments exactly ....on the other hand... different clicks for different chicks ... whatever works ...works! LL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:48 PM Cletus has to be played by Johnny Dep - all that boyish innocence with an undercurrent of unbridled sexual awakening and just a touch of insanity due to inbreeding! I spend entirely too much time thinking about Cletus. Need some help here, guys! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:01 PM All great fun - but a bit frightening if you put it together with this, from the International Herald Tribune, and other papers: High-Tech Helmet, but Will It Help Kids Focus? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Katcina Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:09 PM This contraption really sounds like it would be just the thing for long trips alone. It would put an end to having to accost the occasional hitch hiker. Though I must admit if it is truly effective it would make the trips much longer since I dont drive and orgasm at the same time, much too dangerous. Might get a DUO. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Hollowfox Date: 10 Feb 01 - 03:14 PM I notice that all the people quoted in the first post weem to be male. hmm. Also, if this thing the size of a cigarette case is implanted in a buttock, then I see a huge upswing in the scoliosis market. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 10 Feb 01 - 04:40 PM (blush) Oh! Is this what McGrath's song "The Blue Clicky Thingy" was supposed to be about? (THIS IS A MUSIC THREAD, RIGHT?) And now I get it! The Mudcat Inner Clique! *g* ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Katcina Date: 10 Feb 01 - 06:39 PM WYSIWYG I absolutely love your sense of humour! Even if I can't be in the clique I still get to enjoy the jun through your postings!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Gypsy Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:35 PM Mousethief, won't be able to get your lyrics out of my mind for days! wow! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,aeduin Date: 10 Feb 01 - 10:44 PM Get it wrong and once again you wouldn't know whether you were coming or going. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Mark Cohen Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:23 AM It's the septum pellucidum,Matt. I know you've been wondering. Septum just means "partition", so, yes, there are quite a few, the one in the nose being the most, er, accessible. Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:28 AM Katcina, trust me-- I am not in the Inner Mudcat Clique! I think once upon a time, for a couple of days, I almost was, but then I sort of plummeted from grace. (And heck! Who needs stinkin' Grace anyhow, that bitch!) Hey! Let's go on a road trip! Where shall we meet? Sigh... forgot, I have too many pressing responsibilities on the Martian invasion thing. Oh yeah. We're having ourselves a time on that thread. I won't tell anyone over there you're one of us. (Yer new in these parts and far too sophisticated to be a F***ing Earth Person.) So you can do some damage! (Shhhh!!!! It's not cool to go over there, so... tippytoe...) THEN (bwah-hahahahhhh!!!) AFTER we take earth from The Cursed Earth People and subjugate their puny carbon-based culture.... hahahahahahhhhhHAH! THEN we take the road trip to survey our domain! ~ Communication Yeomonster ()*%^:><{})_!@#&%^&, AKA WYSIWYG
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Katcina Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:29 AM WYSIWYG, I have a cherry '86 trubo600 convertible and aways wanted to pull a "Thelma and Louise"; care to join me? We can leave out the last scene where the car goes off the cliff if you wouldn't mind. I rather like the condition Elvira is in now and would hate to crumble her. But she's fast and we could chase down Harleys! Road trip in order, Katcina |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:51 AM Brrrrrrrmmmmmmm.......... my heart is on fire, for Elvira! Giddiup..... CONTINUE TO USE GARBUTT CYPHER TILL FURTHER NOTICE. ~ C.Y. ()*%^:><{})_!@#&%^& AKA WYSIWYG |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Feb 01 - 02:41 AM Oh, great. Add two more Wildwomen to the list! I personally am in favor of having orgasms while driving, as it tends to break up the monotony of a long trip. However, if possible, I prefer to time them for those long straightaways. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Katcina Date: 11 Feb 01 - 10:20 AM LMAO!! EJ you would be much more Lonesome were it not for us wild women!! Enjoy what we have to offer and take nothing on earth too serious, especially yourself or others! Katcina |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:09 PM LEJ! Join the effort! We're taking the planet! Aw gee-- giggling uncontrollably now-- WE COULD REALLY USE THE TRID. Is he currently available? We promise much booty! Hahahahahahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here, Katcina, tuck him in between us in Elvira.... yeah you better drive... that cliff thing-- well I might try to see if this boat can fly, you know, testing it for the MMM.... (car pulls away, all three singing "Wild-women don't worr-eeee, wy-eld wimmin don' geh-et the bluesssss....") ~S~ (Katcie, search for the Mudcat Tavern Enterprise for one story with the Trid. I can't remember the thread names of the others. Katlie could tell you.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:19 PM Any chance on yer way down Sowf, you could pick up a skinny white boy wif a sack of instruments? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:36 PM Hafta ask Katcie-- her car. Isn't it time for part 2 of this, and let's call it FEMALE ORGASM, COME AGAIN? Matt, can you do it? Or do you need to wait a half hour? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 11 Feb 01 - 12:54 PM A half hour? HA! Try 15 minutes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 11 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM Part II is here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Melbert Date: 11 Feb 01 - 04:51 PM Electrical stores sell programmable remote controls which can be used to operate various devices and eliminate tyhe need for several remote controls...... For example, if you want one unit to operate the TV, the VCR and the satellite system then you buy a "One for All - 3". If you also want to operate your CD player with the same device then you need "One for all - 4". I guerss now they'll be selling "One for All - 69"! |