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BS: Female Orgasm by remote control
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST,BS is right Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:14 PM PUHLEEEEEESE. The mudcat, tho there are beautiful exceptions like the caring notes to the 'catter who wants to help a friend, is for MUSIC. Even the BS threads should in general be about music, and the thread titles family rated :) My humble opinion. I have opinions about the topic of the thread as well, but won't prolong the tastelessness. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:42 PM And another comment that this should be a music thread and it's tasteless sent to us by.....uh...wait a minute, oh that's right!! They didn't sign their name surprise!! Besides that, if you've helped in any way to bring a woman to an orgasm, even if it's at the press of a button, haven't you made beautiful music together???? Frank P.S. Sorry, it's been a long day and an attack at the nameless seemed to be in order..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Don Firth Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:44 PM If you think sex is tasteless, you're not doing it right. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:50 PM One in te hand is worth two of George Bush ! Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Dharmabum Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:51 PM There once was a comely young lass Who's orgasms just seem to pass She took drastic measures To obtain inner pleasures By implanting a remote in her ass.
Now she loves all it'll give'er
But one day the batteries went dead DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:54 PM Wow, Guest BS is Right, Did you get a rule book when you joined the Mudcat? I didn't get a rule book. How come I didn't get a rule book? Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Dani Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:55 PM Do you think this might finally have done the ol' 'Spaw in? Because I am not believing that he's not here yet. I know there's a reason... And secondly, I happened upon a quote yesterday that I THOUGHT was about eating, but now I see that it was not... "Food without hospitality is merely medicine" Dani |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 02:57 PM Hehehehehehehe this WOULD have to happen in North Carolina! Oh my God, King Brilliant...you're a one in a million! You just the kind of woman that raving foot-lovers like me search everywhere for! Mmmphhhh...must resist!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:33 PM Nicely done, Dharmabum! This implant is just another step down the path that will lead to us all living inside our glass bubbles, never coming in physical contact with another human being. See I Robot. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:52 PM So mousethief, did the groundhog see it's shadow this year? Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Gypsy Date: 09 Feb 01 - 03:54 PM Where do i sign up? Tough job, but certain you need volunteers ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:06 PM Carol, I don't understand why you ask that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:09 PM What good is anything if you can't share it with someone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: CarolC Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:11 PM If you're serious and you don't remember, go look at my old "Beethoven's Birthday" thread. (Just wondering... ;-) Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Pseudolus Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:13 PM You CAN share this. Just think, if I held the remote while my lovely wife and I are sharing a "moment", then just as I'm about to finish my trip down romance lane, I hit the remote!! The timing would always be perfect, and just think of all the extra time you'll have to watch TV, read a book, talk...... ;) Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:28 PM Believe it or not Dani, Ol' Spaw DOES have a life outside of this joint!! LOL This is all much ado about nothing because the FDA is already being pressured by the American Cancer Society to keep this product off the market. Their argument is that the implant will contribute to already high cancer rates in women through increased orgasms. This product will give women the chance to have an orgasm anytime, hence increasing their tobacco consumption. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:36 PM Spaw, go home. Ah, yes, Carol, I remember that thread. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:38 PM Yeah, right. Any women who gets a surgical implant the size of a cigarette package put in one of her buttocks is probably so stupid that she wouldn't recognize an orgasm if she did have one. Orgasms are wasted on such people, as far as I'm concerned. On the other hand, it would be fun activating the damn thing when she's in the checkout line at the grocery, I suppose... How about a brain implant that creates the illusion that everything is wonderful all the time, and that all one's needs can be met by simply going out to the mall and buying more stuff? I bet there'd be a lot of funding available to research and market that one... How about another one that makes everyone go out and vote for a member of the Bush family (a male member, needless to say...) in each succeeding American presidential election from here to eternity? I'd better shut up right now. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:43 PM ...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms... DO take care, ladies...(and please remember the difference between bio-electrical response and emotional satisfaction...I DO love seeing the smile that goes with the latter...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 04:56 PM Yep Bill, they attached it to their septum. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:03 PM The ladies, Matt? Or the mice? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:04 PM Wait a minute! I think we have finally found the ultimate diet guaranteed to work with no lingering cravings. Now for the supplements! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:07 PM Now, if the rat happened to be an atheist, and you could understand "ratese"...would he or she be chittering: Oh! Scientific method!!! Oh! Logic!!! Oh! Materialsim!!! Oh! Experimental Analysis!!! Oh! Rational pragmatism!!! And so on, until his little rodent synapses fried, and he keeled over and died...another victim of the relentless march of modern science, which has found the time to do totally ignoble and expensive things that most previous civilizations would probably not have wasted their time on in the first place...hopefully. Stealth bomber, anyone? Where's the remote? Oh, Congressional bipartisan committee!!! Ohhhh!!!! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:10 PM No..the rats. The septum is the pleasure center of the brain, just as the amygdala is the anger center. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:12 PM Bill D said: "...seems to me I remember an article about rats having electrodes implanted in the area of the brain that was linked to sexual response, and had a lever to press for a little 'zap'....turns out they would refuse food in favor of incessant orgasms... " That's it! Market this thing as the ultimate weight-losing device! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: wysiwyg Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:35 PM This DOES lead to music. Come on, tell-- how many of you couples make up songs, in bed, afterwards? Parodies on whatever happened that day? Therefore to balance the woman's ass, there should be an implant for the other cheek with a record function to capture the vocalizations and after-songs. Thats' why we differ from rats. They don't care about the songs at all. Is this why the neighbors' garage door keeps going up and down all night long?!?!?! I thought science had solved that signal leakage problem. Oh yeah. And what happens if you push what should be your wife's button, but your neighbor's wife comes? Is that considered cheating? "Honey, I SWEAR that was just signal leakage!" "Yeah right, I'm sure it was just your signal that was leaking all over the place...." Didja hear about the Olympic athlete? She thought it was a stopwatch, but when her coach pressed the button, she came running. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 05:38 PM I thought the septum was that thing that separates your nostrils? Which wouldn't be a part of the brain at all. S, you need a new hobby. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Matt_R Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:10 PM Alex, that's called the septum too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:16 PM the bone that separates the nostrils is the 'vomer'.... and that little depression under your nostrils in the middle of the upper lip is the 'filtrum' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:20 PM seems we have 2 septums "The Vomer is a single relatively flat bone located in the mid-sagittal plane. It articulates with the perpendicular plate of the ethmoid superiorly and together aid in forming the "nasal septum". While it is frequently deflected slightly to the left or right, in general the septum is aligned perpendicularly and divides the the nasal aperture into the the left and right nasal passages. In addition to the Perpendicular Portion, superiorly the Vomer mushrooms out into a pair of Alae which terminate and articulate with the sphenoid in a heart shaped process. Inferiorly the Vomer rests on both the maxillae and the palatines. " |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM Bill, leave some trivia undisclosed so I can have the joy of discovering it later in life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:25 PM Cletus and Paw were involved in some early testing of this product as I recall...........helluva' story! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: sophocleese Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:31 PM Oh dear, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:40 PM MT...what if there IS no later in life?...and how do you know it's 'trivia' till you see it?(oh, I gots trivia whut I ain't begun to impart!...You will have plenty to keep you busy...) ...but I'll refrain...mostly |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: mousethief Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:42 PM I don't like the thought of things articulating together in my nose. That's all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Homeless Date: 09 Feb 01 - 06:57 PM Hey Bill - make that three septums. For women anyway - they have one between their... uh... and the... Well, it separates the.. ummm. We found out about it while my wife was pregnant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Bill D Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:00 PM ohhh, sure!! the 'taint!!!! *grin*,(very old joke) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 07:53 PM Imagine the chaos one could create if the entire female population were equipped with these implants and you were able to beam out a common signal through local radio stations at say...5:00 pm on a Monday, during the height of rush hour! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: GUEST Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:13 PM I don't like that solo business. I think it should be controled by a magnetic switch implanted in the wall of the vagina. It would then be activated by magnets implanted in penises. Of course men would have to have a tatoo telling what kind of magnet they've go. Discriminaing women prefer Samariums over ALNICOs 2 to 1. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Metchosin Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:42 PM Wysiwyg, hate to admit it but we do the song thing in bed too....came running...ROTFLMAO |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:46 PM Well, if you really want a magnet implanted in your penis...but you'd have to be careful around metal doors and fire hydrants and such. Myself, I'd rather just read a good book on the Renaissance or count the birds flying by my window. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:48 PM Paw and Cletus were getting paid to test the male version of course and I guess the guys in the research department figured they had found just the right guys to test some of the stranger ideas. Now Paw had one that had a little voice simulator and when he got aroused, just prior to orgasm, it would shout! It'd have been a lot better if they hadn't picked up a surplus unit from some Japanese Video Game company, because what it yelled was "BONZAI!" That's enough to put almost anybody off, but when the damn thing shorted out and started giving him orgasms at random intervals only seconds apart............well it wore him out pretty quickly and I gotta' tell you it was truly pathetic to see him lying there on the ground, totally wasted, with his willy popping up and making a little tent in his bibs every few seconds. Of course the little Japanese voice gizmo kept right on screaming "BONZAI" but Ol' Paw just laid there, dick poppin' and body twitchin'. Cletus may have had it worse though. Evidently they must have had some idea about TV Marketing or something, because the model Cletus had was wired up to a Clapper. This wasn't too bad until Clete showed up at a rock concert and the applause was triggering the damn thing all the time. He ran up on the stage and tried to get people to stop, but he ended up in jail for "Indecent Exposure." They threw him in with a bunch of drunks that were going through the DT's and everytime one of them slapped themselves or the wall, Cletus went off. By the time they took him to the arraignment, he was barely able to stand and when he fell on the floor, the judge whacked down his gavel and of course.................He was lucky the company testers showed up. The judge gave THEM 6 months for "Corrupting a Congenital Idiot." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Feb 01 - 09:54 PM Two in the Bush is worth maybe 3 in the hand.
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:02 PM sigh!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:22 PM That is quite a story, Spaw. I know it is incredible that I should be unsure about this, but...who is PAW? And who is CLETUS? Are they related to Cleigh O'Possum in any way? I know. I'm a dumbass. Fine. But please explain... - LH By the way, the expression is "BANZAI!!!" It means "Hurrah!" directly translated, and was used as a battle cry since time immemorial by the Japanese, and also as a cheer of enthusiasm at parades, sports events, and public spectacles of all kinds. Bonsai is a technique of miniaturizing trees, I think. Of course, the image that comes most readily to mind is a howling mob of insane and fanatical, buck-toothed, bug-eyed, Japanese soldiers, mostly wearing thick-lensed glasses, and waving swords, knives and rifles, charging suicidally into a fusilade of American machine gun fire. BAN-ZAAAAIIIIIII!!!! AMERICAN YOU DIIIIEEEEE!!! RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!!! EEEEEYAAAGGGGHHH!!! BLAM! BLAM! "Ohhhh, say caint yew seeeeee..." Great for the John Wayne movies, right? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Feb 01 - 10:36 PM Yeah, I know Hawk. As to the "boys".......That'd be Paw, Cletus, Buford and the Reg Boys. Paw, Cletus, and Buford, are just some good ol' boys that hang around here. They aren't bad guys, just some of the many that managed to slip through the cracks of our great society and now are just doing the best they can. The "Reg" boys are Rick Fielding's three half brothers, all named Reg. They showed up here a few years ago and struck up a freindship with Paw, Cletus, and Buford. Here's a thread you need to read to see how they first came on the scene and a few of their exploits.CLICK All of them have some dietary deficiencies which causes increased flatulence and you may recall how Paw flared one off and the resultant flame scorched an image of Jerry falwell on my garage wall. Just read some of the links in that thread and you begin to get the idea. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM Wall, shoot! Hot dang! Thanks, Spaw! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: SINSULL Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:47 PM Seems to me "Bonsai" is the appropriate exclamation here. Image of shrinking trees... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Feb 01 - 11:59 PM I heard they are casting the movie, Spaw. Trying to get Leslie Nielsen for Paw, and Keanu Reeves for Cletus. Carrottop is apparently set to play all three Reg brothers. They're also apparently casting the pig who played Babe as Cleigh O'Possum, based on the fact that 87% of the viewing public have no idea what a possum looks like, and that 98.3% of those who do know what one looks like don't want to see it 23 feet tall on a movie screen. I also heard that you refused to release the movie rights until they had signed Bruce Willis to play you. Any truth to that? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Female Orgasm by remote control From: catspaw49 Date: 10 Feb 01 - 12:17 AM Nah Leej, there's been a change in that. When we ran that thread a few weeks ago about who would play you in the story of your life, I asked Karen........I figured she'd have a good take on it so I asked, "Who would play me? Based on personality and all, who do you think would be best?"............So now we're waiting for an answer from Gene Hackman. Spaw |