Subject: Your Favorite Quotes? From: RichM Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:47 PM I collect quotes. Quotes that tickle my humor, quotes that elegantly sum up some aspect of life, quotes that restate universal truths in a fresh way. Here are some of mine. What are yours? Rich McCarthy
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
"O senseless man, who cannot possibly make a worm and yet will make Gods by the dozen!"
Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral.
Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination."
Never argue with an idiot, they just bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
I expect complete individual responsibility.
To get to heaven, turn right and go straight.
A committee is an animal with four hind legs
SAVE THE WHALES; COLLECT VALUABLE PRIZES
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
"There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophies. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; my philosophy is kindness."
There are some people who will argue whether the flames are blue or green, when the real question is that their arse is on fire.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Wall Street indexes predicted nine out of the last five recessions.
Men are always sincere.They change sincerities, that's all.
Capitalism, it is said, is a system wherein man exploits man.
What people say about you behind your back is your standing in the community.
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
Masturbation: The Human autoexec.bat
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend...
Deja Moo: When you think you have heard this bullshit before
Frisbeetarianism, n.: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
A man about to speak the truth should keep one foot in the stirrup. And, here are some musical quotes:
"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.
Life is like a shipwreck. Don't forget to SING in the lifeboats.
From a James Taylor song, "The secret of life is enjoying the passing of time".
"Stop your feudin' and fightin',
"Classic music is th'kind that we keep thinkin'll turn into a tune."
(Your favorite musician here) is wandering around, on foot, hopelessly lost. Asks a person on the street: "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?" ""Practice, my son, practice."
"I hate music, especially when it's played." ---Jimmy Durante---
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Amergin Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:50 PM My favorite quote is said so often here at the Cat...."I worship the very ground you walk on, Nathan. Can I be your love slave?"
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Sorcha Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:55 PM "School severly interferred with my education" Mark Twain |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Gervase Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:00 PM E.M.Forster pre-empted the Mudcat with "Only connect". |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Wesley S Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:01 PM Expectations are just premeditated resentments. Author Unknown { to me }. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Micca Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:17 PM I found these particularly useful in dealings with the hierarchy in a University.. 1 Timeo danaos et dona ferentes,,( I mistrust these Greeks even bringing gifts)Virgil the Aenead 2 Put not your faith in Princes (the Bible) 3 CYA ( Cover Your ASS)( origin unknnown) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: CarolC Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:27 PM "The opposite of gravity is levity" --Eric Idle |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Pseudolus Date: 15 Feb 01 - 01:31 PM All of these from an email on the subject of marriage and relationships.... Frank
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: RichM Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:05 PM Here's one of my own:
"Support the right to arm bears" |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Zebedee Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:16 PM My all time favourite: "Lying in bed would be an altogether perfect and supreme experience if only one had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling." G.K. Chesterton Ed
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: GUEST,guestguestguest(intruder)guest Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:19 PM fear that man that fears not god one should always forgive one's enemies, after they are hanged. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Mrrzy Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:28 PM Q: Daddy, did God make Man in His own image? A: Actually, dear, it's the reverse. De gustibus disputandum non est (there's no arguing about taste) - Some latin guy, or some American who liked to sound pompous (right up there with Illegitimi non carborundum - don't let the bastards wear you down) Almost anything by Dorothy Parker or Winston Churchill... together or not... |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: wdyat12 Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:29 PM These are great Folks! I needed some laughs today. Here's one of my own that I think of when times get tough. "Things can seem better than they actually are." wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:30 PM I'm beginning to think a plan is just a list of sh!t that ain't gonn happen The Way Of The Gun Runnin' ain't a plan... Runnin's what ya do when a plan fails Pain is inevitable, misery is optional Unconditional love does not mean blind acceptance of negative behaviour "It's not like I'm using... it's like my body has developed this massive drug deficency" You don't go through the hardships of an ocean voyage to make friends... You can make friends at home FOR THE BLACK BOAR Guy Gavriel Kay, THE FIONAVAR TAPESTRY Just to name a few... ;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: GUEST Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:44 PM here's one for ya "An excellent plumber is infinitely more admirable than an incompetent philosopher. The society that scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity, and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because philosophy is an exalted activity, will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water. John W. Gardner |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: kendall Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:52 PM One should try anything, once, except incest and Morris Dancing. (Utah Phillips) On a dead mans door, you can knock forever.(Zorba the Greek) No amount of belief can create a fact.(Mine, I think) I'm not the man I used to think I was.( ditto) When you have bested a fool, what have you really done? If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. (Will Rogers) Thank God, there is no odor. (Oscar Wilde on hearing the bagpipes for the first time) If all your relationships turn into battleships, change course.(Carl Demo) God created man, then said, "I can do better than this."
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: catspaw49 Date: 15 Feb 01 - 02:53 PM I love them too and have a lot of "quotation" books. I ahve a load of favorites but here are the two that influence me personally more than any others:
If I laugh at any mortal thing, tis that I may not weep.
There is only what is. What should be never existed. Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Pseudolus Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:07 PM Do you believe it? I just got these in an email....the last one is great!!
1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
4. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
Frank |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: kendall Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:36 PM .George Carlin, right? |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Pseudolus Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:43 PM Could be Kendall, the sender gave no credit. Wouldn't be surprised.... I'm still laughing about the adult bookstore....!!! Frank |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Ebbie Date: 15 Feb 01 - 03:47 PM When something's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well. It wouldn't be so bad that life is so short if only it were wider. :) Eb |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Bill D Date: 15 Feb 01 - 04:22 PM "Don't do too good of a job, folks will begin to expect it" -Talkin' John, an old carpenter I used to work with.(He lived it!)
"Entropy will get you if you don't watch out.....in fact, entropy will get you if you DO watch out" |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Ebbie Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:05 PM You're still gonna die... Shel Silverstein |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Bill D Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:12 PM "When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results." --Calvin Coolidge
"I must follow the people. Am I not their leader ?"
"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others."
"There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad."
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Justa Picker Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:13 PM Yes Kendall. (George Carlin.) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: wdyat12 Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:30 PM Bill D, Concerning that great Salvador Dali quote, Is that the Spanish translation? wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Morticia Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:49 PM I'm in shape.....round is a shape! Never underestimate human stupidity The problem with the gene pool is it has no lifeguards Take big bites, moderation is for monks It is easier to get forgiveness than permission |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Bill D Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:52 PM (*shrug*...I found the Dali quote in English) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Stewart Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:55 PM "Only the mediocre are always at their best" (paraphrase, Somerset Maugham) "All good things come to an end... but the mediocre things seem to last forever." (Shoe) Cheers, S. in Seattle
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Rollo Date: 15 Feb 01 - 05:58 PM This one I read on a toilet wall: "God is dead" (Nietsche) "Nietsche is dead" (God) "The Dead don't talk!" (Django)
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Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: mousethief Date: 15 Feb 01 - 06:19 PM Okay, you asked for it.... Unknown
A man who has bought a theory will fight a vigorous rearguard action against the facts.
Where words fail, music speaks.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
We must at all costs avoid over-simplification, which one might be tempted to call the occupational disease of philosophers if it were not their occupation.
Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.
The only way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perserverence, and to turn around three times before lying down.
History has seen wars which used up less ammunition than a cease-fire does today.
If you think you have someone eating out of your hand, it's a good idea to count your fingers.
The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work.
When George Washington threw that dollar across the Rappahannock River, he didn't realize he was establishing a precedent for government spending.
To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.
He who truly knows has no occasion to shout.
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?
Nothing can be proved, although one can become convinced.
When you're sitting with your girlfriend for two hours, it seems like two minutes, but when you sit on a hot stove for two seconds, it seems like infinity.
All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients.
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
A real friend is someone who takes a winter vacation on a sun-drenched beach and doesn't send a card.
If your dog thinks you're the greatest person in the world, don't seek a second opinion.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger, but the meat can be hard to swallow.
Our worst fault is our preoccupation with the faults of others.
I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. It was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time.
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. But beautiful old people are works of art.
Serious thinking in American popular religion must be the most valuable commodity on earth. It certainly seems to be the scarcest.
If the soup had been as warm as the wine; if the wine had been as old as the turkey; and if the turkey had had a breast like the waitress, it would have been a swell dinner.
Most people think they are thinking when they replace one set of prejudicese for another.
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing all the thinking.
You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.
I said to the almond tree, "Sister, speak to me of God," and teh almond tree blossomed.
Music finds its way where the rays of the sun cannot penetrate.
People hardly ever make use of the freedom they have, for example, freedom of thought; instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
The older an archaeologist's spouse grows the mor interested in her he is likely to become.
A man who boasts only of his ancestors confesses that he belongs to a family that is better dead than alive.
Hate hurts the hater more than the hated.
Love isn't how you feel. It's what you do.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
When you ask from a stranger that which is of interest only to yourself, always enclose a stamp.
"Love is as rare as a star."
Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.
If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
The solipsist, just like anyone else, looks both ways before crossing the street.
The Heart has its reasons which the Reason does not understand.
The only war I ever approved of was the Trojan War; it was fought over a woman, and the men knew what they were fighting for.
The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling.
We always condemn most in others that which we most fear in ourselves.
I could study all my life and not think up half the amount of funny things they can think of in one session of Congress.
Conceited people never hear anything but praise.
You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.
The trouble with the publishing business is that too many people who have half a mind to write a book do so.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we."
It is fair to judge people and stained-glass windows only in their best light. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: mousethief Date: 15 Feb 01 - 06:21 PM Fyodor. Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It's Russian for Theodore, actually. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: death by whisky Date: 15 Feb 01 - 06:23 PM 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a crate...coincidence I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder. Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least its the scenic route. (from a list Bec brought home from work) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: GUEST,bflat Date: 15 Feb 01 - 07:05 PM Say Goodnight, Gracie. Goodnight Mrs. Callabash, wherever you are. That's All Folks! Ellen |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: DonMeixner Date: 15 Feb 01 - 07:19 PM "Kregah! Bundolo!" John Clayton, The Earl of Greystoke, Lord of the Apes. "If you aren't going to be rich, learn to be polite." Louise Maxon, My grandmother "Never pick mushrooms in your bare feet." My Dad. "Why weren't you born twins? Then you could be twice as stupid." Richard Arlin to "The Bad Guy" in "China Clipper" |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Bill D Date: 15 Feb 01 - 07:34 PM I really liked that Lord Acton one way back up there Ý |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: GUEST,kendall Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:11 PM Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself. There is nothing more scary than ignorance in action. Goethe' I think Give me friends whose faults I can stand...I can put up with anyones good points. We must deal with things as they are, not as we wish they were. Music hath charm to soothe the savage BREAST I'm not afraid of death, I just dont want to be there when it happens. (Woody Allen) |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: leah-- Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM Yesterday is History, 'Tis so far away -- Yesterday is Poetry -- 'Tis Philosophy -- Yesterday is mystery -- Where it is Today While we shrewdly speculate Flutter both away One of my faves of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: aussiebloke Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:48 PM I wouldn't join any club that would have me for a member. Groucho You can't get there from here. Aussie trad |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: kendall Date: 15 Feb 01 - 09:32 PM And here Aussie lad |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Amos Date: 15 Feb 01 - 09:43 PM Welol, you asked for it....
VISION We need to learn to set our course by the stars, Omar Nelson Bradley If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, Henry David Thoreau Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. Carl Sagan It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcomings, who knows the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at his best knows in the end the high achievement of triumph and who at worst, if he fails while daring greatly, knows his place shall never be with those timid and cold souls who know neither victory nor defeat. Theodore Roosevelt I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am Plato NECESSITY Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. William Pitt ( AKA Pitt the Elder) Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue John Milton Neither believe nor reject anything because any other person's Thomas Jefferson "Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be Patrick Henry, American patriot, Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. Amelia Earhart "Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which John Quincy Adams CONSISTENCY A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) CONFORMITY Conformity is the jailer of freedom John F. Kennedy EXPERIENCE Experience is not what happens to a man.
"Never let the future disturb you. Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Roman Emperor Aldous Huxley FREEDOM "It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere." Voltaire FREEDOM "Freedom is not something that anybody can be given; freedom is James Arthur Baldwin "If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's okay. But - Robert Townsend
Happiness does not depend on outward conditions. Dale Carnegie
HONOR Our own heart, Samuel Taylor Coleridge LIFE "Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. Henri Nouwen
SELF To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's E.E. Cummings SELF We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us. Virginia Satir
"Solitude is the beginning of all freedom." William Orville Douglas, American jurist and associate
SUCCESS Success is not the key to happiness. Albert Schweitzer
In these critical times let us no longer make the mistake of identifying as fools those with whom we disagree. Buckminster Fuller
UNDERSTANDING "Until we can understand the assumptions in which Adrienne Rich UNDERSTANDING The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him UNDERSTANDING "Without an understanding of myth or religion, 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot ACTIONS The actions of men are the best John Locke |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Rick Fielding Date: 15 Feb 01 - 09:51 PM "Pete Seeger taught the world how to sing....and I'll never forgive him for it". Rick |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: wdyat12 Date: 15 Feb 01 - 10:02 PM "Lovely Day" Hayden Temple To be used in any situation when greeting or leaving strangers or friends. wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Guy Wolff Date: 15 Feb 01 - 10:25 PM I realy dont like Andy Warhol's " Everyone gets 15 minutes of fame" but I do love Emerson saying something like "It took me 15 years to be an over night success" THe one comes from merit the other is by complete chance and void of merit. All the best Guy |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: mkebenn Date: 15 Feb 01 - 10:53 PM "Be sure you're right, then go ahead" Davy Crockett |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Wotcha Date: 16 Feb 01 - 03:05 AM "Live every day as if it were your last ... for one day, you are bound to be right ..." Breaker Morant "A man who loves not wine, women, and song, remains a fool his whole life long ..." Martin Luther Assumption is the mother of all F***ups ..." Bad Guy, Eric Segal Movie... Cheers, Brian |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Hutzul Date: 16 Feb 01 - 03:12 AM Way back up there, incest and Morris Dancing Utah Phillips may well have repeated it, but the original was Sir Arnold Bax (1883-195?)British Composer, and oft repeated by Evelyn Waugh. How's that for useless education! |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: MudGuard Date: 16 Feb 01 - 03:22 AM My favourite quotes: " " Less favourite quotes: ' ' SCNR MudGuard |
Subject: RE: BS: Your Favorite Quotes? From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 16 Feb 01 - 04:46 AM Never trust men who wear wigs.... Erik Spiekerman - a graphic design fella, at a conference I went to in London.... one amongst several I have, that I like... Ella |