Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge

Subject: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 19 Feb 01 - 01:45 PM

Several versions of traditional verses are in the Degital Archives. The first verse and chorus generally run:

WHEN JONES'S ALE WAS NEW

Now there were three jovial fellows,
Came over the hills together,
Came over the hills together
For to join in the jovial crew,
And they called for their:
Pints of beer and bottle of sherry,
To help them over the hills so merry,
To help them over the hills so merry,
When Jones's Ale was new, me boys,
When Jones's Ale was New!

NEW VERSES?
The next to come in was a mortician,
And he was in sorry condition,
Yes, he was in sorry condition
For to join in the jovial crew,
And he flung out his arms and he cried,
"If no one in town soon died,
I'll have to consider suicide!"...
The next to come in was a sailor,
And he was no dinghy bailer,
Yes, he was no dinghy bailer
For to join in the jovial crew,
For he'd sailed tall ships 'round Cape Horn,
With fingers frozen and canvas torn,
Where you'd wish to God you'd n'er been born...
By CI

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 19 Feb 01 - 04:57 PM

Refreshing for the faint of heart.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 10:46 AM

Well, this may be a waste of time but let's throw some more chum in:

The next came in was a sock troll,
Whose dress was exceedingly droll,
Whose dress was exceedingly droll,
When he joined in the jovial crew;
For he was attired in socks he'd snatched,
Argyle, stripped, and some was patched,
And not a single one did match...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: English Jon
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 10:58 AM

Da nex one in woz a tabby, 'is fur woz all shitty and shabby 'is fur woz all gritty an' shitty an' scabby jus like da restova crew. He'd one good eye an a tick in 'is ear an a terrible whiff dat come from is rear (on account of drinkin' all Joneseses beer) An' for Joneses beer he did mew, me boys for Joneseses beer did mew.

English Jon's Cat

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 11:06 AM

English Jon,,br> I assume the tabby came back, no doubt, or did he end up as a body in the bag?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 12:15 PM

Well, here's another one:

The next came in was a chicken plucker,
And he was one mean sucker,
Yes, he was one mean sucker,
For to join in the jovial crew;
For he'd plucked chickens from town to town,
Rhode Island Reds to Leghorn Brown,
And he'd plucked them chickens up and down...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 09:28 AM

The next came in was an attorney,
Who'd returned from an arduous journey,
Who'd returned from an arduous journey,
For to join in the jovial crew;
He'd traveled the whole wide world around,
He'd searched through cities, he'd searched through towns,
There was no justice to be found...

CI

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: English Jon
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 09:45 AM

Da nex one in woz a persian/an a bleedin genetic perversion/an' jus' the sort ov person/'oo would join the jovial crue:/'Ee lapped up 'is beer at a fair ole pace/ wiv is tangled fur matted over 'is face/E was da grubbiest Kat in da Place....etsetra.

English Jon's Cat.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 09:54 AM

EJ's cat - bet you have a verse for every breed of feline, eh?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: English Jon
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 10:10 AM

Corrr... I'll 'ave to 'ave a fink. corrrrr.

Da nex one in woz a ruddy abysinian.. actually, I've been called somefing not dissimilarrr miceself...

corrrr.... O.k. 'ow about:

A syameez joined em kwikly/ Although 'ee wozn't strikly/ A pedigree, but a bit of a syameez/ An' a bitova British Blooo/ Ee woz a posh Kat as we could tell/ By 'is velvet collar an silver bell/ Dat went ding dong as we frew im ina well/

an' so on... corrrrrr.

English Jon's Cat

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 22 Feb 01 - 11:25 AM

Anyone for dinasaur verses?

The next to come in was the brontosaurus,
And she was carrying a thesaurus,
She was looking for the ultimate chorus,
When she joined in the jovial crew;
She called for a beer and wanted more,
They rolled in a barrel through the door,
She drained it dry and fell through the floor...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:02 AM

Well, here's the verse for the day:

The next came in was a firefighter,
And there was no one brighter,
Yes, there was no one brighter,
For to join in the jovial crew;
And he hauled out his nozzle with all his might,
And it was a totally awesome sight,
And the landlady's daughter squealed in delight...

CI

We actually sang this verse at a firefighters' benefit and they were delighted!

Can any one do a verse about the "Virgin Surgeon"?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Bernard
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 05:03 AM

The next was a computer programmer
And he had a terrible stammer
He had a terrible stammer
When he joined in our jovial crew
The landlord's daughter, he did adore her
He loved here from the moment he saw her
So he re-re-re-re-re-reinstalled his Intimate Explorer...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Bernard
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 05:13 AM

Okay - virgin surgeon - I'll have a go...

The next one in was a surgeon
And be sure he was no virgin
Be sure he was no virgin
When he joined in our jovial crew.
A dance called 'The Quaker' is one that he wrote
There's only one call, and that I quote:
'Once round the floor, and then out for your oats!'

(Maybe I should point out there is a brand of porage called 'Quaker Oats'!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 11:01 AM

Bernard,

As I recall "Virgin Surgeons need no urging." I do like the "Intimate Explorer."

Here's my contribution for the day:

The next came in was a financeer,
With a cellular phone in each ear,
With a cellular phone in each ear,
For to join in the jovial crew;
And he looked all around with a frown,
And said, "If this deal don't go down,
I'll have to leaverage the very next round"...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: pavane
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 08:53 AM

The earliest version (Joan's ale was new) I have seen, in the Bodley library, contains 14 verses. I have not transcribed them all, just the first lines. The full text is here as an image Joan's Ale is new

Most of the standard characters are there, but the mason and soldier are missing. The Dutchman, Welshman, pedlar, weaver, shoo-maker and porter have been dropped in later versions.
JOAN'S ALE WAS NEW
(circa 1680)

There was a jovial tinker, which was a good ale drinker
But never was a thinker, believe me this is true
And he came from the wild of Kent
When all his money was gone and spent
Which made him like Jack-a-Lent

[Chorus]
And Jones ale is new
And Jones ale is new, boys
And Jones ale is new

The tinker he did settle, mjost like a man of mettle
And vowed to pawn his kettle, now mark what did ensue
His {?????} flocked in apace
To see Tom Tinker's comely face
Where they drank soundly for a space

Whilst Jones ale &c

Verse 3
The cobbler and the broom–man, came next in the room man
V4 The ragman he being weary
V5 The pedlar he drew nigher
V7 And then came in a Hatter
V8 The Taylor being nimble
V9 Then in came a pittiful Porter
V10 The bony brave Shoo-maker, a brave Tobacco taker
V11 And then came in the Weaver

V12
There came a drunken Dutchman
And he would have a touch man
But he soon took too much man
Which made them after rue
He drank so long as I suppose
Till greatte drops fell from his nose
And like a beast befouled his hose

V13 A Welshman he came next sir
V14 Thus like to men of courage stout NHJ

From the Bodley Ballad collection, reference Douce Ballads 1(99b)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Apr 04 - 04:58 PM

Here are two more contributions to this old thread I started three years ago when I was posting as Roll & Go-C:

The next to appear was a scrotum shark
And he was exceeding grim and dark
And he was exceeding grim and dark
And terrorized the crew!
For everyone knew just what he was,
And felt fast shrinkage amongst the fuzz
'Til ye couldna tell where a scrotum was!
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys!
When Jones' Ale was new! (Amos)

The next to come in was a virgin surgeon,
And she didn't need any urging,
No, she didn't need any urging
For to join with the jovial crew
And after she downed several whiskey ryes,
She took out her scalpel and held it high,
Saying "Who with me this night will lie?"
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys!
When Jones' Ale was new! (Charley Noble)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Flash Company
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 10:08 AM

Well, and the next to come in was a Banker.
But none of us were speaking to him!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Apr 04 - 11:00 PM

One of my singing buddies, Norris, composed this one when we were doing a Christmas special event:

The next came in was Kris Kringle,
Who told everyone he was single,
And then he started to mingle,
As he joined with the jovial crew;
Then, Mrs. Kringle she came in,
And she kicked him 'twixt the knee and the chin,
And set his old bells a-jingling,
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys!
When Jones' Ale was new!

FC-

Do finish your banker verses. We may find them of interest...

And after all, Woody Gutherie had his verses about the "jolly banker."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: GUEST,CC
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 01:19 AM

The next to show was a copper
Who was tryin his best to be proper
and doin his best to try and stop her
from joinin the jovial crew
But he saw some fellas dancin in the buff
and decided he'd had enough
and he went reachin for his cuff
When Jones' Ale was new, me boys!
When Jones' Ale was new!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 05:30 AM

And the next to come in was a member, hadn't seen him since September.

We hadn't seen him since September, election time that was.

His policies all sounded sound,
He promised us big drinks all round,

When it was his round, he couldn't be found. When.....

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 08:21 AM

A proper copper verse!

And one for a politician!

How gratifying! But what about the cunning linguist, the artificial inseminater, and last but not least the singer/songwriter?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Flash Company
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 10:30 AM

Well, the next was an IVF Doctor,
He went up to a girl and he shocked her,
He went up to a girl and he shocked her
Before all the jovial crew
Well he looked in his little black bag and he laughed,
He said 'Though I'm the best in the world at my craft,
I've sold all my bottles, do you want to have draught?
When Jones's ale was new , my boys
Etc....

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Dead Horse
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 11:35 AM

Er, um.....
The next to come in was a 'catter
Tho he couldn't sing much flatter
No, he couldn't sing much flatter
To join our jovial crew.
He sang a verse of Athenry
Which made all there begin to sigh
And we all voted to hang him high
When Jones's ale was new, me boys......

(sorry) (no I'm not, sod it)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Rasener
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 02:09 PM

I remember Martyn Wyndham Reid singing that at Woodman folk club in Kingswinford back in early 1970's. When he had long golden curly locks.
I also had the LP at that time from him with it on. Wore the LP out so unfortunately don't have it anymore.
One of my favourites from him.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Barbara
Date: 08 Apr 04 - 11:11 PM

Charley, are you sure you weren't adverse to fishing for a virgin sTurgeon verse?
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: New Jones's Ale Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Apr 04 - 02:21 PM

Barbara-

It could have been verse!

FC-

Much better!

Dead Horse-

;~)