Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Áine Date: 02 Mar 01 - 09:27 AM Well Challenge!rs, we've reached the 'Big 5-0'! And just for you, I've found a 'gem' of an idea. So, Go For It, Challenge!rs!! *BG* -- Áine
Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Pot O' Gold! -- (HONG KONG, China) A Hong Kong jeweler has opened his doors to what is possibly the world's most glamorous convenience -- a glittering golden bathroom complete with two 24-carat solid gold toilets.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: GUEST,Roll&Go-c Date: 02 Mar 01 - 10:13 AM What a creation! Just the thing for the international megabillionaire flushed with success. But remember, all that glitters is not necessarily gold. I must go somewhere more modest and meditate on this. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Wesley S Date: 02 Mar 01 - 10:19 AM This is impracticle - theres no way a man could lift up a toilet seat that was made of gold - it would be too heavy and it would have to stay down all the time. Where's the logic in that ?? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: MMario Date: 02 Mar 01 - 10:57 AM DREAMS OF GOLD Lam Sai-Wing was a jeweler Who had a golden Dream That combined his thoughts with Lenin's ideals Though it was a bit extreme, Lord, Lord! Yes it was a bit extreme Well Lenin wanted golden toilets For the Russians or so he said; His dream's come true in Hong Kong now It's too bad Lenin's dead, Lord, Lord! Yes, it's too bad Lenin's dead This luxurious lavatory Was not for everyone It cost him over 4 million Before his dream was done, Lord, Lord! Before his dream was done. Twenty-four Caret are the crappers! Solid gold is this loo For a thousand dollars Hong Kong You can take a golden poo, Lord, Lord! You can take a golden poo!
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: mousethief Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:12 AM The Man Who Made Lenin's Gold Toilet (tune: The man who shot liberty valance)
Back in the early Soviet days, when Lenin ran the zoo, the zoo
He grew up hearing all about the Comrade's gold commode, commode
Now if you go to Hong Kong town, you'll have to pay the price, the price
Everyone knows it don't come cheap Copyright c 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Trapper Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:28 AM WHEN THE JOHNNY IS LINED WITH GOLD by: Al Boyce 3/2/2001 Tune: When Johnny Comes Marching Home In a jewelry shop in old Hong Kong The Johnny is lined in gold my friends, The butt wipe's thousand dollar bills If you spend a thousand in his shop
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:29 AM A quote from above: "'It's too wasteful,' said one visitor." Isn't that the idea of a toilet--WASTEful? Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amergin Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:33 AM A golden throne...... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: MMario Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:35 AM *we are not worthy!* Trapper - excellant! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: SINSULL Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:42 AM Oh crap! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Clifton53 Date: 02 Mar 01 - 11:45 AM Somewhere, Sir Thomas Crapper is spinning in his grave. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Trapper Date: 02 Mar 01 - 12:37 PM Mutual admiration Mario! "golden poo" indeed! I love it! - Al |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Dharmabum Date: 02 Mar 01 - 01:47 PM THE GOLDEN LOO
I was invited to a party
The hostess was a gracious gal
My mama always told me
Now what goes in it must come out
I walked into that dark room
(chorus)
The party went on all night long
Now I can't find my car keys
Now I've got myself a quandry
So I set out to searching
(chorus)
I spent hours walking
Alas,I banged that knocker
He listened quite intently
Of my car keys & my wallet
(chorus) DB. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: mousethief Date: 02 Mar 01 - 02:09 PM Crapper With the Golden Top (tune: Surrey with the fringe on top)
When you sit right down tonight, to pee
Gents and dames and kids look so dapper
The seat is golden, the basin is too
Body piercings scrape, scratch and spoil it Copyright © 2001 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: MMario Date: 02 Mar 01 - 02:22 PM Note to self. Do NOT try to drink anything when reading song challanges. MT! *BRAVO!* I can practically hear Curly singing it. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: GUEST Date: 02 Mar 01 - 02:37 PM Wesley - At long last; the definitive solution to "Why do men always leave the toilet seat up?!" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Bradypus Date: 02 Mar 01 - 06:52 PM Everyone seems flushed with success on this one. Here's my offering - the tune is 'Golden, Golden', by Andy M Stewart.
The Golden Bowl |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: mousethief Date: 02 Mar 01 - 06:55 PM Great stuff, guys. I've got to hand it to ya. Or, not. Alex |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: The Crazy Bird Date: 03 Mar 01 - 02:33 AM GOLDEN WC (pernounced vee-see, in Europe) (tune: "Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz) Lord, won't you buy me a golden W. C.? My friends all own symbols of prosperity. But they'll die of green envy when they go take a leak In my bathroom containing a golden W. C.. Lord, if I owned me a golden crapper, I could listen to metallic splash and splatter While relieving my bowels on expensive matter! Lord, won't you buy me a golden crapper? Lord, won't you buy me a golden toilet? I'm sure I could make it turn a profit! I could charge cold cash to sit on your ass! Lord, won't you buy me a golden toilet? Lord, won't you buy me a golden W.C....?
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Dharmabum Date: 03 Mar 01 - 08:10 AM You guys are a bowl full of laughs! DB |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amos Date: 03 Mar 01 - 08:54 AM Turd In A Golden Bowl
It's only a turd, in a golden bowl
It's only a turd, in a golden bowl I stood near a sewage plant, by the sea' As the sun drove away the rain. And looked at the flow that did seaward go From crappers both great and plain A large and well formed piece, I knew on sight Came from one who'd been Queen of Wealth And I thought: it is truer, among its kind Than it seemed on that golden shelf! It's only a turd, in a golden bowl
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Áine Date: 03 Mar 01 - 09:35 AM I knew you guys would love this one! *BG* Apologies to all for not giving out the Silver B.L.O.B.s (best lines o' bull) yet; but, I started packing stuff last night in anticipation of moving to our NEW HOUSE (Yes, they've accepted our offer and we move on 30th! Yee-haw!!). And this morning, I'm off to the North Texas Irish Festival and booth duty for the Gaelic League. Nuff said, I'll be back tonight and really put my shoulder to the golden grindstone and hand out the appropriate B.L.O.B.s. So, keep it up -- you're doing great! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Dharmabum Date: 03 Mar 01 - 10:50 AM SUPER DOOPER PLATINUM POOPER (sung to,Itsy Bitsy, Teenie Weenie, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini)
I was vacationing down in ol' Hong Kong
My stomach it started to rumble
I ran to the first place I saw there
(chorus)
I was afraid to sit down on that toilet
Well I'd never seen anything like it
I felt rather stately there sitting
(chorus)
So if you ever find yourself in Hong Kong DB.
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Rollo Date: 03 Mar 01 - 03:25 PM Melody: "Sally Brown"
1. Chanteyman: Went to Hong Kong and had to widdle |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Hawker Date: 03 Mar 01 - 04:23 PM LAMMY'S BOG (to the tune of Johnny Todd) LamSai-wing he built a bathroom In Hong Kong at his abode In it placed a piece of artwork Better than aunt Ming's commode! Having learned at school that Lenin Also had the same dream too He proceeded to design a bathroom Fit for any Royals poo. Inside he placed to glittering toilets Crappers made in solid gold And a basin for to wash your hands in Golden taps for hot and cold The ceiling too he then encrusted Diamonds, amber, rubies too Upon which you then could ponder Whilst you did a number two! If you wish to spend a penny This one's not the loo for you It will cost more than a penny In fact more than a bob or two... Lam Sai-wing will only let you Pamper well your choccie log If you spend a thousand Hong Kong dollars you can shit upon his bog! When you're done upon his privvy Dont' forget, wipe underneath...... Will you use bog standard 'Andrex' Or wipe your arse with pure gold leaf? Sorry, it's really CRAP!!!! LOL well done on the choice of subject matter Aine, too may puns to play with, spoilt for choice - which begs me ask the question..... why 2 toilets? Lucy |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amos Date: 03 Mar 01 - 05:41 PM LAMMY'S BOG (to the tune of Johnny Todd) LamSai-wing he built a bathroom Having learned at school that Lenin Inside he placed two glittering toilets The ceiling too he then encrusted If you wish to spend a penny Lam Sai-wing will only let you When you're done upon his privvy (Fixed the returns. I think its hilarious!! Regards, A.) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Hawker Date: 03 Mar 01 - 06:43 PM Thanx Amos, if you read the foot & mouth thread you'll see I needed something to laugh about! How do you do that? shall I start a thread or are you going to tell me its in the Mudcat new chappies guide that I only scan when I want to know something and am too lazy to look properly! Cheers, Lucy |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Hawker Date: 03 Mar 01 - 07:06 PM OK, OK I think I may have been a bit lazy! But has this HTML stuff I just typed worked? Hope so or I didn't read it right............ Lucy |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Hawker Date: 03 Mar 01 - 07:12 PM Yippeeeeee!!!!!! This is great! for those of you who have not mastered the art of HTML, look on the Mudcat Faq's it's worth doing, just to get your song looking good when you type it Of course most of you already know that, it's just us mere mortals who take a little longer to get the hang of all this! Cheers, Lucy |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amos Date: 04 Mar 01 - 01:43 AM Way to go, Hawker!! You got it!! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: wysiwyg Date: 04 Mar 01 - 02:00 AM "She tore off HTML tags like so many sheets of TP." Glad you could pull it off, Lucy! ~S~
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: wysiwyg Date: 04 Mar 01 - 02:06 AM Open season on finishing this one-- I gotta go now.
Tune, "Time in a Bottle" |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Áine Date: 04 Mar 01 - 09:20 AM It's a good thing I've been keeping the house so clean lately, what with trying to sell it, because I've got a bad case of ROTFLMAO (or in Irish, ARAAUAGMTD)!! You all have done yourselves proud on this one -- As good as the classic Great Easter Bonnet Challenge of 2000! Here are your Silver B.L.O.B.s, presented with a big Maith sibh! to all:
To MMario for: Well done 'Catters! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: wysiwyg Date: 04 Mar 01 - 11:25 AM Well, she-ee-ee-ee-did-it! ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amos Date: 04 Mar 01 - 12:31 PM Its gonna take me a while to digest all this, but it really has been a rich experience. Thanks for the Blob, oh GG. As my dear mum once said, "This too shall pass!". |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Hawker Date: 04 Mar 01 - 01:07 PM In the words of William Shakespeare in A Midsummer nught's dream....... "Oh Bottom, thou art changed! Lucy |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: mousethief Date: 05 Mar 01 - 07:11 PM I'm flushed with pride. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Scotsbard Date: 05 Mar 01 - 07:36 PM *L*L*L* I'll have a go at this later ... ~S~ |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Bradypus Date: 06 Mar 01 - 06:38 PM Eldest daughter's homework: Write a ballad on a current news story. At least 10 verses, A B C B rhyme scheme, 8:6:8:6 metre. Makes the song challenge seem easy ! Bradypus |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Amos Date: 06 Mar 01 - 08:29 PM Aw c'mon, Brady. Just make her chant some 8 and 6 beat lines using nonsense syllables until she gets the rhythm; the rest will fall into place as soon as she starts thinking about a subject. I walked a beach beside the sea; See? A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: mousethief Date: 07 Mar 01 - 01:31 AM Why just read the news? Why not make news?
I went to school one March morning
And so I went to Smitty's Guns you get the idea.... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: granny Date: 08 Mar 01 - 03:41 PM THE HONG KONG GOOSE
The 'goose that laid the golden egg'
Chorus:
Oh, silly goose! They love her best
But, more than rings at Lam Sai-wing's, |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 01 - 08:50 PM . . . and the clouds opened (tentatively) and a voice spoke (timidly) . . . It is with sincere apologies for the delay that I hereby post the Winners of the Song Challenge! Part 50 -- I've got a good reason, really -- blame it on Mr. & Mrs. Diffident (sellers of the Moon on the Hill) and Mr. Eyes-Too-Close-Together Anal Retentive (the now-fired lending agent) . . . If Dear Hubby and I survive until April First (moving day -- and yes, I know what day that is!), it'll be a miracle. Well, that's enough whining from me (valid though it may be) -- Cudos, congrats and beaucoups thanks to all you wunnerful, wunnerful, Challenge!rs for making me do a Memorial MMario Spit Take for each and every entry for this Challenge! Bravo and Brava to you all. Here are your oh-so-appropos Golden Cow Chip Awards:
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: MMario Date: 20 Mar 01 - 08:56 PM You could just mention - in an oh-so-diffident voice - that you know a few hundred musicians who would feature him in a satire or two if he/she doesn't get on the ball... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 05 Sep 01 - 10:20 AM To the tune of "The Boys From The County Armagh". (Although born there, it's a tune I can't stand. Quite fitting then for this challenge!) THE GOLD JOHN OF HONG KONG There's one architectural marvel Of which very few have heard tell The smallest room in my mansion The one which is oft prone to smell I've lavished a lot of attention It's worthy indeed of a song It's a mystery, a wonder, a jewel The Gold John of Hong Kong It's my own golden throne Far across the foam I miss it when my business Takes me far away from home No matter where I wander Though the trip be short or long I can't wait for my arse to be resting On the Gold John of Hong Kong I love the feel of the metal As I lower myself for a dump And the way that it babbles and tinkles Whenever I'm having a pump It causes me some satisfaction When sometimes I cause it to pong My mystery, my wonder, my jewel The Gold John of Hong Kong It's my own golden throne Far across the foam I miss it when my business Takes me far away from home No matter where I wander Though the trip be short or long I can't wait for my arse to be resting On the Gold John of Hong Kong I've travelled at great length in Asia Camdodia, Thailand, Shanghai Indonesia, Singapore, Bali Beijing, Nepal and Hanoi But the likes of my gold-plated crapper I've never once seen on the way You'll not meet its match on the Great Silk Route Nor the Road to Mandalay It's my own golden throne Far across the foam I miss it when my business Takes me far away from home No matter where I wander Though the trip be short or long I can't wait for my arse to be resting On the Gold John of Hong Kong |
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