BS: Definition of a Friend

Subject: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 07:03 PM

The following turned up today in the newsletter we receive from the sub one of our sons serves on. It was said to have come from a forwarded e-mail. I get a lot of forwards from a number of different e-mail "cicles", but I never saw this one. So maybe you haven't, either.


DEFINITION OF A FRIEND

A friend should be radical--
They should love you when you're unlovable,
Hug you when you're unhuggable,
And bear you when you're unbearable.

A friend should be fanatical--
They should cheer when the whole world boos,
Dance when you get good news,
And cry when you cry the blues.

A friend should be mathematical--
They should mutiply the joy,
Divide the sorrow,
Subtract the past,
And add tomorrow.

A friend should be synergistical--
Calculate the need deep in your heart,
And always be bigger than the sum of all their parts.


This is for all Mudcat friends, mine especially. (You know who you are, and believe me, so do I.) They are people just like this describes, and expect nothing else of me.

I wish us all friends like that.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: hesperis
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 07:12 PM

Aww. I really like that mathematical one! A good one for people who hate math to think of, maybe?

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 07:16 PM

Yes, and hess, YOU are All That.

I bet you don't screw up line breaks either. Neither will I when I get my glasses in April. I can't SEE what I proof. And I used to be a proofreader, before there WERE spellcheckers. Oh well... I guess a friend who is a JoeClone may wander by.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: rangeroger
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 10:21 PM

When my friend "Moose" died recently, I was going to be unable to attend his memorial services in California due to financial reasons.I had been laid-off for several weeks so I had the time, but not working meant I had no money.

The festival manager for Strawberry Music paid for a round trip flight to Sacramento and put me up at his house for a week.

That is a good friend.

rr

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: hesperis
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 11:01 PM

Yep, rr, that is a good friend.

WYSI - I have been known to screw up line breaks. It is always possible to screw up. Fortunately, it is also always possible to get things right.

And very occasionally I don't dance when a friend gets good news - but I usually admit it when I'm jealous, and I don't have a problem with being jealous of people. Jealousy is a signal of what you want, and if you know what you want, you're halfway there. (Then you just have to figure out how to get it without stepping on anybody's toes. That's the hardest thing about jealousy...)

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: flattop
Date: 12 Mar 01 - 11:11 PM

Joshua Halberstam asks in his book Everyday Ethics, 'Do you like your friends?'

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Troll
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 01:38 AM

I always figured a friend was someone who liked you anyway.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Deni
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 01:47 AM

Wonderful definitions. That just about sums it all up. Long live my friends and yours!

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:00 AM

I'm sure they wish the same for us, Deni!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Musicman
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:25 AM

Hey Troll, you're missing the first part though......

"Your Best Friend is someone who know all about you, but likes you anyway..."

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Musicman
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:26 AM

...and this one from another friend a while back.....

......"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: guest(intruder-inactive)
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 06:38 AM

a friend will stand by your side, or die there should the need arise
a friend will tell you when you're being especially stupid and you know its an observation, not a judgement
a friend will help raise your barn or tear it down
a friend will distract grendel so you can get a good whack at him
a friend will walk by your side or break trail or cover your back, as need arises
a friend will love and be loved

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 08:35 AM

a friend asked me to be present at the first consultation with her oncologist.

I guess that qualified me. It weren't easy either. I understood what I heard.

The next thing she wanted was to go to a ceilidh - now that is an easier way to be a friend.

Sure miss her.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 08:59 AM

Aw Red. You said it so perfectly I can't find any words to add.

Musicman-- I was writing something like that yesterday-- that one of the greatest gifts we can give a friend is to stand with them shoulder to shoulder to see a truth they have seen, and see that that they saw it.... and to stand right there again when they have lost sight of it, and point toward it. Whether agreeing with or endorsing what was seen... to remember that it had been seen and known as truth.

I never thought of song as a way of bringing them back to that place but of course that would be one of the most effective ways to do it. And that must be how a song can move me so much, too.

Thank you, Musicman. I learned something very important from you today. I learned a way to make action out of intention, in a way I think I can never forget, even when I am the one feeling lost.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Noreen
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 09:55 AM

Lovely, Musicman.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Kim C
Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:21 AM

A friend is someone who isn't always too busy to answer your e-mail.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Spud Murphy
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 05:54 PM

Friend

When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue, I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile, I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it that match your intellect.
When you are sick, stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall, I will point at you and laugh at your clumsiness.
This is my oath, I pledge to the end.
"Why?" you may ask? Because you're my friend.

Spudnik

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:10 PM

LOL!

A friend is someone who knows when to mess with your head, and when not, and how to, and how not to.

A friend keeps agreements and renegotiates them as you and they change.

A friend knows we are all in charge of our own boundaries and knows where theirs and yours are-- and is willing for them to change, but with aware agreement.

A friend knows there is no rational conflict of interest to separate friends, and that serving the needs of the friend does not have to mean sacrificing self.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:16 PM

A true friend never sends you sappy emails about the nature of friendship.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:20 PM

True...

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: tiggerdooley
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:22 PM

Nor do they ask you to pass said sappy e-mail to ten other 'friends' to safeguard yourself against the plague, baldness and other such curses.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: mousethief
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:35 PM

Too late for me on the baldness one. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:51 PM

A friend sends you sappy stuff but not as a group send... sends it as personally as possible... when you need to hear it.

And then fires at will!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Justa Picker
Date: 15 Mar 01 - 06:58 PM

Someone who believes in second chances.

Subject: LYR ADD: Friends
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 10:30 AM

Heard this today and was reminded what a poor friend I can be, and what good friends I have.

---

FRIENDS
(David Byerly)

Seems we're a million miles apart, yet you still reach me.
When the phone rings... I know it's you.
Then I hear you say that you've been praying,
And you thought that I could use a word to help get through.

You don't have to know, you don't have to see,
You don't have to shed one tear.
You just love me... and you pray for me--
That's a friend.

Oh the joy that fills my heart when I'm around you;
I can hardly wait for eternity.
But until then I'll be thankful just to know you.
I'm reminded of His love, darlin', when you speak to me.

You don't have to know, you don't have to see,
You don't have to shed one tear.
You just love me... and you pray for me--
That's a friend.

Oh the times that bind us are stronger than this world.
The love we share is greater still.
God puts special people in our lives for a reason,
And you've been there for me;
You've been there for me.

You don't have to know, you don't have to see,
You don't have to shed one tear.
You just love me... and you pray for me,
That's a friend.
That's a brother.
That's a sister.
Like no other...
You just love me... and you pray for me.
That's a friend.

(C) 2000 Lifting Music-Pamplin Music (ASCAP)

SOURCE:
CD, FIFTY YEARS, The Happy Goodmans, Gaither Gospel Series.

---

'Course I should have remembered THIS, to begin with.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 11:08 AM

I think this woman knows what friendship is:

I'm never gonna walk away
If the walls come down some day.
All alone and you feel afraid,
I'll be there when you call my name.
You can always depend on me.
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend.
---Amy Grant

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 11:43 AM

What was that children's book, a friend is to hug? NOT Shel Silverstein, that was a hole is to dig. Maybe a friend is to dig, too - maybe a friend is to hole, sometimes, too!

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 01:46 PM

I thought "a hole is to dig" was Maurice Sendak.

Subject: RE: BS: Definition of a Friend
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 03:17 PM

Somehow "I need to be held" is not QUITE the same as "I need to be holed." But you never know, the day may come it's JUST the thing to say!

Yes, Alex.

~S~