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BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom?
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Subject: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 01:21 AM Which Mudcatters would be neighbours, which work together, what would the show be like. Would the focus be an actual pub/coffeehouse with Max holding court and us all living within a few blocks? Would Jenellen have a petting farm (animals, only!) just west of town; would Spaw and his crew open their big house up for potluck; would Big Mick have a hill just out back of the pub/coffehouse to climb up and play for us. Or, would we all be in silly situations, i.e. which two of us would be in a Dick Van Dyke show, as Dick and Mary and they go "folk" with all us entertaining with them? This idea just came up and I thought I'd post it and see what we come up with. You know? Let's write a few episodes, dialogue and all, and see what fun we can have. Take it away, 'Catters... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: CarolC Date: 13 Mar 01 - 01:40 AM It would be like Cicely, (sp?) Alaska. Only with Mudcatters. And music. The tavern threads would be the Brick. Max would be Chris, I think. Dunno about anyone else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Spud Murphy Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:08 AM Sit coms, I don't know from page four......is that like that family in West Virginia or some place on a mountaain and they got this stoopid kid named John Boy? If that's the one, then I want to be Grampa, cuz i'm the oldest. But i don't want that kid hanging around me all the time, oozing sacharine and platitudes. I jes wanna go up onna mountain and shoot a bar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: wdyat12 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:29 AM Kat, I would start watching TV again if Mudcatters had a sitcom. Max, this might be a new outlet for your creative talents. I hear your grumblings from time to time on the show. Just think of the resurgence of Folk and Blues into the mainstream consciouness. These may be hard times coming and we may need all the laughs and sympathy this music gives us. A TV sitcom format for Mudcat as a mirror and barometer of real people may be the next horizon beyond Survivor. There is a lot of need out there for people to identify with something positive. We have all the resources right here on Mudcat, not to mention such a great cast of true characters. What was I thinking? wdyat12
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chip2447 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:45 AM Welcome to the biggest, small town in The World. We like ta make ya feel ta home here in Mudcat Flats. There's Bluegrass in the town square, and Gospel over at the Church. We've got Blues playing down by the river, and Celtic over at the pub. Ya might find some boys and girls harmonizing over ta the Barbershop. The Coffeehouse is a good place at night. If'n ya get a chance ya oughta wander on over bt the railroad tracks. The trains keep pretty good time to a strumming guitar. C'mon back any time ya like, ya always find good music right here in Mudcat Flats... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 01 - 09:13 AM Set in a town like Cicely - that's good, with the MudCat Cafe the 'downtown hangout' - and the major industry in town being the NYCFTTS. Fundraisers for the NYCFTTS having to be constantly run - gives an excuse to bring in folkies from all over. And of course there would have to be someplace to eat. And Radio MudCat - and the annual Mudstock festival, and then you could have this recurring character who runs around trying to get all this folk music down into some sort of an archive, and ... naw, no one would believe it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 13 Mar 01 - 09:16 AM Don't forget the factory making the Amish moustache tuners and clay possum ocarinas! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 13 Mar 01 - 09:20 AM ..and the wetbacks smuggling in tiples...( a guest spot for Jennifeer Lopez or Ricky Martin!) Cicely already had an Oasis Cafe, didn't it , Matt?! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Pseudolus Date: 13 Mar 01 - 09:22 AM I think it would be like the Wizard of Oz. Max would be the wizard, perhaps Spaw as the scarecrow, and since this was Kat's idea certainly she should be the lead Dorothy type character. Still need a tin man and Lion (I'd volunteer for the Lion!!!*g*) and of course we cast all of the flamers and trolls (not our own troll of course) as the wicked witches and flying monkeys!! OK it's more like Mudcat, the Movie but it's the first thing that popped into my head! It could work..... Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Big Mick Date: 13 Mar 01 - 10:17 AM Right..............love the concept............I still get to be "Keeper of the Sacred Fertility Rites", eh?. I got a little seniority here. Where's the spud patch in this friggin' place?? How about the thong factory? Just make sure you don't let that damn gorilla on the set.........she scares the hell outta me. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: catspaw49 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 10:43 AM For the benefit of those of you who are saying, "What the hell are they talking about?".........Tiples, possums, the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed (NYCFTTS).......Read this thread for a few of the explanations. Also, this guy is Cleigh O'Possum, an ass blown possum ocarina who lives with me. He was made by 'Catter Barbara Blessing and lives for other 'Catters to give him a blow up the bum. Big Mick is still the keeper of the gertility rites and the pursuer of alison the Fair One although he has been caught stuffing his thong with a spud. Sadly he stuffed the back instead of the front and looked like Lassie dropping a load. And if you have never read it, to see the importance of tiples to the joint, HERE is the infamous tiple thread. Also you older 'Catters need to remember that the FIRST business set up was the "Condom Factory" the idea of which started here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:01 AM There would have to be a harbour as we have so many old seadogs, a paddle steamer on the river for Art. Who would be the kindly local cop/sheriff? Would Peter T be the Thoreau type in a cabin in the woods? Could we avoid the staple soap plots involving long-lost children and multiple intermarriage? I suspect kat has already worked up a treatment to offer to the major studios! RtS (scuttling back to the basement boilerhouse at the NYCFTTS) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: CarolC Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:18 AM RtS, The town where the show, Northern Exposure, was taped had an Oasis Cafe, but not Cicely, Alaska. Cicely's main watering hole and purveyor of fine cuisine was "The Brick", run by Holling and his lovely lady, Shelly. I think Peter T. would be Chris' brother, Bernard.
The NYCFTTS could be run by Maurice, who could be played by Banjer, maybe. Of course, Maurice would also own the condom factory, the Amish moustache factory, the clay possum ocarina factory, etc...
I think Ebbie would be Ruth Anne. And maybe Little Hawk would be Ed. Hesperis could be Shelly, but she's too smart. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:26 AM Oh I can DEFINATELY see Mudcat as the Northern Exposure sort of thing. But we'd have to have One Who Waits and Graham Greene as Leonard! I LOVE those guys! I'd be the dopey neighbor kid, who likes taking pictures, carving katchina dolls (and other wooden things) and playing guitar. Hey, last night I was sitting here in a USMC shirt, shorts, with my head shaved and and my beard half gone and crooked, wearing a felt kepi I've had since I was 12, and playing acoustic versions of Travis song on my guitar. See, I can be a crazy Cicely-esque character too! And of course we'd HAVE to have EJ as the barman! With Gizmo as his bar helper! And we can have Seamus whip up a batch of his world famous Irish Chili...mmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:29 AM Yes, I remember the Oasis sign with palm tree was only seen on the wall as the moose walked past in the opening credit sequence! There'd also have to be a beauty parlour so all those finger pickers can get their false nails done! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:44 AM Ah yes, the Oasis Cafe! Then we could gather round and sing the best Oasis pub sing-a-long ever...Bonehead's Bank Holiday! (see my 2nd tape). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:53 AM I'd like to be considered for an audition for the part of the moose. gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:05 PM a gnu as moose? Could be worse, you might get cast as a moussse - but what flavour? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:06 PM Does it have to be a sitcom? Soap operas have far more dramatic plotlines. Actually "Mudcat Flats" as mentioned above, sounds like a grim and gritty slice of BBC drama set on a tenement block with graffiti, drugs and broken glass... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:18 PM Musk, of course. gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:22 PM Hey Fib, you mean like "Mile End"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:24 PM as in the place? (or the song?) Never been there, but I used to live in a place in Dublin that meets the same description. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Mountain Dog Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:25 PM Tho' the neologism is one I've never warmed to, the term "dramedy"* might be more apropos to this ongoing series than "sitcom", especially since the characters round these parts are nothing if not fully-rounded and complex rather than stereotypes and cut-out figures. (Besides, I think the sitcom's obligatory laugh-track would drive us all nuts in short order!) *A term I first heard in reference to Blair Brown's series of some years back, 'The Days and Nights of ???' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:33 PM LMAO...I knew I could count on you all to come up with some good ideas! Fib, no need for it to be sitcom...right after I posted, I knew I should have just said, Mudcat..the TV Show.:-)Right now, we watch so much BBC America, that I think I'd do a better job of writing dialogue for what you've described, than any of the others, yeah? LOL Gnu, now that my old dog has been gone for a couple of years, you can have the moose part, but just know you are carrying on a great tradition. He was half Dobie/half Shephard/Alsatian and looked exactly like that moose...gangly, mangy, huge ears...there is a black and white of his face on my Photoloft Page in the Mudcatter's Photo Album linked through the Mudcat FAQs Permathread. So...opening scenes, anyone? Episode storylines? Oh, the othr thing I was thinking, which may not be that farfetched and which someone else has mentioned...we sell it as a Reality Show...Survivors of Paltalk could be one of the subplots...who stayed up the latest in the UK to meet those in Oz for song sharing...then cut to the NYCFTTS for a live vignette ala Cuckoo's Nest where Mash meets Northern Exposure...to UK pagans tramping through the woods to sing up the sun over Stonehenge...to Max shuts down the bar under Mudcat Central...broadcasting live for a straight 24 hours with Bert hanging in there..all the while we've got Our Brothers and Sisters to the North looking for the Northwest Passage and happening up on Skarpi (I know technically it's the other way, but it's not that real) who is tracking down an old Irish ditty up north among the Laplanders...and our Brother to the South, Andres/Escamillo leads a team of toreadors bullfight protest songs (he doesn't like them, he said)....well...you get the drift, yeah? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:36 PM I like it, Mountain Dog! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 13 Mar 01 - 12:39 PM Fib...BOTH!!! As for those who don't know..here's the lyrics...
Mile End by Pulp |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: wdyat12 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 01:44 PM Kat, Make sure you copywrite your idea, so other sites won't beat us to the punch. wdyat12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Bert Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:10 PM Aw Matt, that song reminds me of home, just a few miles down the road in Canning Town. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:37 PM Back to Northern Exposure, which 'catter would play the bear in the cave? I don't remember his name (something like Old Willy.)Don't think he actually existed, but I think it was Holling who had a score to settle with him. Now which one of you would like to play a non-existent ferocious bear who turns out to be a deer skeleton (or something like that)?. I know I'M keen!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Morticia Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:40 PM Can I be Shelly? I always thought she was a lot smarter than she made out (oh, that might disqualify me,right?) or a female Joel as a foreigner trying to figure out this crazy place ( nope, been around too long for that)....okay, how about that receptionist of Joel's, the one that hardly ever said anything ( guess that's out too).Damn, I'll have to make up a part of my own I guess. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:51 PM Sure, Mortee, this here is GLOBAL! Hell, we've got Northern, Southern, Down Under, Sideways and Backwards Exposure, especially if Cleigh is around showing his bum to everyone. I've just told Barry, in his thread, that he can have the part of the handsome star in hospital who comes through just in time to sweep all of the women off their feet thanks to spare parts from the NYCFTTS. Wdyat12...I think it may too late. Who knows what minions of Hollywood lurk about these threads stealing all of our good ideas?**Wah-hah-hah-ha!**
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 13 Mar 01 - 02:53 PM Can I be Ed? He was so chilled and out of it, but wiser than all of us put together. He knew that flinging a cow from a catapult had already been done by Monty Python, so Maggie's burnt piano got flung instead. Who would be a good candidate for Ed? Would Joe O be DJ Chris? I dunno, 'cos I've only been a 'Catter for about three weeks!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: JenEllen Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:01 PM ROTFLMAO kat....I think this place is enough of a petting zoo already!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:02 PM I think PeterT would be a good one for Chris 'cause he can put a spin on anything and make it metaphysical, but then LeeJ (Lonesome EJ) does a great job of spinning existential, too, along with Spaw, BillD, and Sourdough! Whew! So many philosphy degrees! We will have to have round-the-clock DJ's! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:12 PM Don't talk to me about philosophy degrees, kat! A philosophy degree is the reason I'm working as a gopher in the library of the university where I did the crummy degree in the first place. Well, it was either that or McDonalds!!! For sale: one lightly used answer to why we are all here, if we are all here, and who put us here in the first place. All offers considered... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:16 PM LMAO, td...just ask Spaw (Catspaw)..he's the one that will tell you that degree will get you nothing but higher priced coffee at McDonald's! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:17 PM Wall, eye'm jes knew round hyar m'selph. Eye wuz wunderin' ef eye kud bee the town ne'er dew well. Eye'm gud at that. Doan't dew much sept fiddle. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:20 PM Come on, Spaw, spill (The beans, NOT the coffee...)!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:33 PM Haha! Welcome to Tiggerdooley and Chester...lots of ne'er dew welz around here, you're gonna fit right in!
(I think Spaw is away for the afternoon, but I am sure he will jump in here first chance to answer the challange, td!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Ebbie Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:34 PM I'm at a disadvantage here- I live in Alaska and I may be the only one of us who has not seen either Cicely, Alaska nor Northern Exposure. (And maybe that's the whole point! This is Alaska, after all.) But this 'town' sounds like fun- count me in. I live up on the mountainside and come in only rarely. Except when there's music happenin'. Then I come down every day and forget to go back home. Eb
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Jim Krause Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:47 PM Chester, are you by any chance related to Petroleum V. Nasby? Just a hunch, but your syntax and spelling are a lot like his. Jim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:55 PM Jim, Yup, how'd ewe guess? Eye dint think id bee obveeus. He's my gate uncel on my muther's side, twicet remooved. We had ter remoove him twicet frum the fambly, but we doan't tawk about that. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Noreen Date: 13 Mar 01 - 03:57 PM Mortee, you can tend the frozen-Margarita machine.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 01 - 04:07 PM I figgered Chester was related to Cletus - but I bet Cletus is related to Petroleum V. Nasby as well.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 04:37 PM MMario, I dunno who thishyar Cletus feller iz, butt he sownds like a nice feller. Kin hee pick a banjer? Er duz hee jest pick his knows? Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 01 - 04:42 PM Chester - you don't want to know. But if you must - check out the links provided by Spaw above - and (shudder) read the whole gruesome history...it's in there somewhere... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 04:56 PM MMario, mebbe eye'd better knot. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Spud Murphy Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:12 PM Where's the bar? Did somebody say bar? Lemme shoot the bar! Is tiggerdooley the bar? Can i jus shoot tiggerdooley instead? Is thatyou, John Boy? Where's Ebbie? I think she went up on the mountain with John Boy. Or was it tiggerdooley? HEY!!! WHERE'D EVERBUDDY GO?
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:13 PM Hey Spud, jes put that 'ar blunderbush down. Onliest bar hyarbouts is over ta Mudcatville. C'mon, buddy. Let's us go have a beer. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Spud Murphy Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:16 PM I wish i didn't shake so much. Potato Brains |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:18 PM Whoah, Spud, wherever (or whoever) that bar is, it must sell strong stuff, 'cuz I'm seeing double. (Just kidding, but you can shot me if you want. Mind you, you won't find me 'cuz I'm up the mountain with Ebbie, Old Willie the Bear/Deer, and Jarvis Cocker.) Fondesht regardsh, hic, tigger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:21 PM Scripts, people! Bring me scripts! **BG** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Bill D Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:26 PM my brain doesn't work fast enough to keep up with you creative script writers! I'll just wander thru the set now & then and sit & rock on the porch while the action swirls around me.....mebbe gaze into the camera and offer some folksy remarks on the silliness.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:30 PM Sorry, Kat ain't know scrip hyarbouts, jes kold hard kash, greenbax. An preshus little uv that ter boot. Yep. Eye no whur mah muney goes, ever drop uv it. Cheshterrr |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:39 PM Nice tawkin' wif yall. Butt eye'm a shuttin' down. Bygh. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Mountain Dog Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:49 PM Bill D, Sounds like you have in mind something like The Stage Manager from Our Town as your role of choice. (For what it's worth, Thornton Wilder's masterpiece is arguably another good framework to keep in mind as this macro-series evolves... It's inclusive, relies heavily on the imagination to make it work, does its best to eliminate the artificial barriers between stage players and audience; it's warm and funny, wise without cynicism and it's as familiar and comfortable as an old shoe.) By the way, I'm assuming this series is being done on a PBS-ish or otherwise non-commercial basis, right? I'm hoping we're not going to have to keep cutting in and out for words from our sponsors... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Wesley S Date: 13 Mar 01 - 05:56 PM How about a wacky episode where Aunt Kat has canned a whole mess of garlic pickles and 'maters for the county fair and that rascal Cleetus knocks all the jars over and breaks them while playing around. Then cousin Spaw goes and replaces all the jars of 'maters and pickles with store bought. The judges { Harpgirl and Rick } can't tell the difference and award Aunt Kat first prize. First prize is one week of Clawhammer banjo lessons at the Neil Young center. Cousin Spaw confesses and Aunt Kat makes him 'fess up to the judges. So first prize is then awarded to Conrad Bladder's crow pie recipie but he refuses because the trees at the Neil Young center are green instead of orange. The judges then decide that since little cousin Spaw has learned his lesson that Aunt Kat can go after all as soon as Cousin Spaw sings "A Horse with No Name" for his punishment. The punishment is delivered by the preachers wife { we all know who THAT is } while wearing an S&M leather outfit. The camera fades as we watch little cousin Spaws face as he struggles to transpose his song to the hammer dulcimer. Next weeks episode : Little Hawk falls off his bike while watching Little Neo fix her G string |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Noreen Date: 13 Mar 01 - 06:00 PM LOL Wesley! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 13 Mar 01 - 06:12 PM Or this one... Kendall wakes up one morning the fetch the Newspaper, The Mudcat Curmudgeon when he finds a guitar left on his doorstep. He takes it to local guitar guru/deity Rick Fielding, who is totally stumped as to it's make. He sends Kendall on his way with more questions left unanswered than when he arrived. Rick expediently goes back to calculating an angle at which the hand can be placed so as to utilise the "thumb wrap-around" on 1919 Hawaiin slack-key guitar. When Kendall takes it to the Mudcat Cafe and tries playing it, he is suddenly blessed with universal love for music. As stunned visitors and denizes watch, he begins playing everything from The Beatles to Django to Slash to Hendrix to John Williams. He begins spouting song lyrics uncontrollably, making Matt_R squeal with all other extremely nervous. There is the classic climax when Matt & Kendall sing Queen's "Friends Forever". At the end, Sinsull gets pissed and breaks the guitar over the pinball machine after Kendall starts serenading her with Yardbirds tunes ala-Jeff Beck. He becomes his usual grumpy self again, tells Matt R to shut up, and goes back to Utah Phillips. The videorecording of Kendall singing "Get Myself Arrensted" becomes a subject of blackmail in a later episode.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 06:28 PM I LOVE them both, Matt and Wesley! LMAO!! Thank yew, thank yew!! Of course, you know, ME cooking or canning is totally out of character, so maybe...Spaw really did put them 'maters up?! Tune in to find out! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST Date: 13 Mar 01 - 06:40 PM I wanna be the guy in the hermetrically-sealed house that's allergic to everything...not that I am, you understand, but all of the other good characters are taken. I'll bring the homebrew if ya'll shoot that bar too badly! artandjenn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: catspaw49 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 10:28 PM Chester and Spud......Since you haven't encountered them yet, here's a tale I told awhile back and it might fit into the TV movie we got going. I call it the "Tale of the Fartistic Falwell:" Ya' know, its funny you should mention sitcoms..........I got to thinking of this story about Cletus and Paw and Buford and the Reg boys. Paw has always had an aura about him, but Cletus says the only aura he knew about was a kind of a mixture of sulphur and sewer gas. But then that got me to remembering how Paw and Cletus had shot Buford and gave him that eulogy and all, then he turned out not to be dead since his backpack was full of a 12 pack and absorbed the blast. Since he was just knocked out and drunk instead of shot dead, its good that Paw and Cletus didn't bury him.......But I tell you the truth, when that ol' boy showed up alive, it damn near killed Paw instead. That reunion led to a joyous evening of the three of them and the Reg boys getting drunk on "Iron City" and 'Shine and roasting a hog out in my backyard alongside the garage. Of course, after a while, Paw started lighting up farts as is his wont and that's what I came to think about ought to be left unexplained. The neighbors began to complain about 11 o'clock or so after one of Paw's flamers had ignited the hedge on his property. That would have passed as the boys got it out pretty quick, being full of Iron City and all, but when a major rip set fire to his wife's bird feeder....well, that was it. I tried to calm the guy down and assured him nothing like that would happen again. He went back into his house dragging the charred remains of the feeder and a roasted squirrel that had been looting it when Paw let fly with that fiery thundersprecht. Anyway, I got them situated again and since my house has aluminum siding, my only request was that they point Paw towards the wall. I figured a good hosing would clean off the worst of it in the morning. I went inside and the revelry continued at a somewhat decreased decibel level with only an occasional flash lighting the window of my den. Around 2 AM the boys came in for a final pee call and of course they couldn't just go. I heard either Reg or Reg in my pantry and before I could get up there, the whole crew was playing sink the Cheerios in my downstairs bathroom. Karen came downstairs at this point and threw a fit since our kids watch everything the boys do and we were spending a fortune in Cheerios. After a severe ass-reaming from Karen, I herded them back outside and suggested they get some sleep around the smouldering pig carcass. I went back in and after cleaning and disinfecting the bathroom and taking a shower, I again settled down in front of the TV to watch a half-hour Infomercial on how I could make thousands a week by selling quinnine pills through Direct Mail Order and running tiny little ads. They were just getting to the good part with the testimonials and all when there was this giant blast from the backyard and the night sky lit up like a Buddhist monk. There was a moment of silence and then I heard Cletus yell, "HO-LEE SHEEIT!!!" Well, there wasn't anyway I could avoid it, so I went out through the garage into the backyard and there they stood, the whole damn bunch of them, except for Buford who was throwing up Iron City and pork fat down his bib overalls over by the smoking hedge. They were staring at an image that Paw's last fart had scorched onto the siding with their mouths hanging open. I stepped back and looked and my first thought was, "Well this ain't gonna' clean off too good and Karen will be really pissed." But when I started to say something, Cletus stopped me and I noticed that the look on all of their faces was almost reverent. Paw was standing with his mouth agape and the others seemed awestruck as well, so I looked again. Cletus turned to me and said, "Doncha' seez it Catspaw? Its rite thar!!! Paw done farted Jerry Falwell out his ass!!!" Well, I kinda' had to admit, it DID resemble the good reverend in the flickering light of the burning porker on the spit, but I was too much in fear of what the morning would bring from Karen to say anymore than tell them to get some sleep. Problem was, they didn't. I went back inside, the group outside quieted down, and I nodded off before I could get the 800 number for the "501 All-Time Polka Greats" by Myron Kopetz and the Nose Flute Kings. What I didn't know was that the group had gone off and gotten Pastor Sharphorn, his wife, the Ladies Auxillary, and the Deacons, from the "Church of Evangelical Brethren and Tongue Talking Mohunkers" and they arrived for a look-see about sun-up. When I woke up to the commotion outside it was about 6 AM I guess. The sight that confronted me was reasonably bizarre. At least 150 people were assembled in the backyard and I could see more coming down the alley. A small altar had been erected out of the remains of my stockade fence which was now on the ground, the crowd overflowing into my neighbor's backyard and trampling his stupid-ass garden gnomes into powder....It was the only high spot of the day. Those kneeling at the altar would place small plastic Madonnas and Jesus statuary at the foot of the garage wall and say a little prayer and move on to the donation box that Cletus was guarding. It was then that I noticed that everyone donating more than $25. was getting a "Holy Relic" to commemorate their visit to this newest religious icon which had previously only sheltered my vehicles and assorted cans of dried out wax and rubbing compound. There, perched upon a throne like affair that I noticed had been assembled from our porch furniture, was Paw. As each person gave his donation, Buford would cut a small piece from Paw's overalls and hand it to them. For $50. they got a piece from the seat, and for $500. a snippet from the flap of his longjohns. It was a kind of poor man's "Shroud of Turin" I guess. Business must have been good since Paw was missing one entire leg of his bibs and he was about bareassed already. I was dumbfounded and I was just considering how to set this up as an infomercial and start booking tours when the County Sheriff showed up and ran everybody off. Then he proceeded to fine me for 19 different offenses and gave me a summons to appear in court for destruction of my neighbors property. I was able to head off Cletus and the money, which covered almost all of the fines and my neighbor's friggin' gnomes, but it cost another 50 bucks to get rid of Falwell. Now if I could just get shed of the real one for the same price.......................Anyway, I have never been able to figure out how that happened and I suppose it is one of those things best left unexplained. I've always thought that Falwell was talking out his ass, but I never figured you could blow him out your ass, but Paw's a real religious ol' coot so I guess you just never know. Really, I think Cletus had it right with his first two words, "Holy Shit!!" Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 13 Mar 01 - 10:54 PM What an honour to have a Mudcat Myth posted to my thread! Yeah, Spaw!! Damn you are good! Even reading it for the umpteenth time! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Amergin Date: 13 Mar 01 - 10:58 PM Hey, Spaw, when are you going to collect all of your Cletus stories and compile them into a book? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Lonesome EJ Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:19 PM LEJ putting up St Patrick's Day decorations, while PETER T sits at the bar. JENELLEN is cooking corned beef and cabbage in a hotpot behind the bar LEJ;(sings) By the risin' of the moo-oon... PETER: That song lacks any sense of irony, y'know LEJ: Well irony would be lost on my patrons JENELLEN: Heck LEJ, shouting "EVERYBODY OUT! THE PLACE IS ON FIRE!" would be lost on your patrons! (cue laugh track) LEJ: Ah be quiet! Get back to your Corned Beef, Jen. By the way, what time's dinner> JEN: 6:00 LEJ: Good. I've got the stomach pump rented from 7 til 9 ! (laugh track) Enter Spaw wearing pneumatic hose and bag assembly on butt (applause) LEJ,JEN,PETER: it's the SPAW-ser! PETER: What's up with the derriere accoutrement, Catspaw? SPAW: Well the special tonight is corned beef and what? LEJ, JEN, PETER and AUDIENCE: CABBAGE! SPAW: Sounds like a gas. (moan) This device is a fart distilling mechanism. All of the methane is caught by this hose and stored in the inflatable bag, thus sparing the bar patrons from any offense, and enabling me to have a ready power source at hand for barbecuing burgers tomorrow. (laughter) JEN: Oh my gosh. What do those taste like? SPAW: Don't know. I keep blasting them into the neighbors backyard!(laughter) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: catspaw49 Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:27 PM LMAO....Good one Leej. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Spud Murphy Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:28 PM A real gem, Spaw. I doff my hat to you, And I say that as a genument complimine. Tater head |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Peter Kasin Date: 13 Mar 01 - 11:53 PM Well, here are some (im)possible show titles: Aine In The Family/Leave It To Badger/Bertadder/Morticia Patrish's Flying Cicus/The Two Riggys/The Adventures Of Ozzie And Harriet Naemanson/Spaw 54, Where Are You?/ Fadac Knows Best/MAV TV. -chanteyranger
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Bill D Date: 14 Mar 01 - 12:00 AM *sittin' and rockin'*....seems to me like the theme ain't been settled NOhow...but what can you expect from refugees from the Neil Young Center?...it does seem that noxious gasses from the nether regions ALWAYS get into the script, however. I 'spects that the cast needs a dietican who can curtail flatulence if we are gonna make Broadway with this show.... now where IS Bonnie when you need her? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: CarolC Date: 14 Mar 01 - 12:16 AM Ok, Mr. or Ms. recycled bathwater, (you know who you are), this one's for you. Maggie and Joel (someone else can figure out who plays them) are sitting at a table in the brick. Joel notices a tall leggy woman wearing tights and a mini skirt bending over one of the counters. In fact, his eyes appear to be bulging out of his head, a big purple vien starts pulsing in his forehead, and sweat begins to drip from his brow. Maggie gets up, saying "I think I'll go take a look at the desserts". She walks over to the display case and bends waaayy over. Her very attractive butt is pointing straight up, on display like one of the desserts. Her face is inches from the floor. She says "hmm... these cakes look good." Joel chokes on his apple cinnamon tea. His face turns a deep, beet colored red, and he starts banging his head against the wall... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Banjer Date: 14 Mar 01 - 06:31 AM Just found this thread....what a concept...I'd even start watching TV again for this. Carol C, I am honored that you would consider me for the part of the feller Maurice, operator of the NYCFTTS. That would be such fun and I would feel right at home! (and in good company) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: John J Date: 14 Mar 01 - 06:35 AM Is this the prog where a 747 lands on the village and wipes everyone out? JJ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: wdyat12 Date: 14 Mar 01 - 06:36 AM Let's do this. wdyat12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:37 AM Eye liked that storey from Spaw about Cletus and his Paw. Sounds like sum of the fellers back home ta Two Foot Falls. Chester |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Morticia Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:40 AM Love the Flying Circus idea, Chanteyranger....in fact, I'm off to polish up the organ!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: mousethief Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:57 AM Every time I try to polish my organ.... No, never mind. I can't go through with this. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: CarolC Date: 14 Mar 01 - 12:04 PM A wise decision, mousethief... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Morticia Date: 14 Mar 01 - 02:18 PM {grin} knew someone wouldn't be able to resist such a good feed line..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 14 Mar 01 - 03:32 PM Did someone already address the narration ? Would that be Kendall ? By the way, when I said I wanted to audition for the part of the moose, I didn't think that in this group, of all groups, there would be even the slightest predjudice against gnu's. I didn't say I was perfect for the part, only to be given the chance of proving my range... no pun intended. Add some boards to the horns, fake the bell, add a hump, crop the tail... it's just special effects and makeup. As for elocution, my forefathers lived in the flat boglands of south central New Brunswick, so I was taught moose when I was a wee tad. No need for voiceovers. Listen, eeeerrrrurrrghhh Johnboy. But is there's a casting wallow, count me out. I'm not that kind of gnu. gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 14 Mar 01 - 03:37 PM gnu, would you like to play a deer? I'm only asking 'cos, as I said earlier, I think Holling's ferocious nemesis [Old Willy?] the bear turned out to be a deer skeleton. You'd have to lose a bit of weight (malnourishedgnu?), but it'd be a strong, silent role. character-assassinatingtigger |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 01 - 03:43 PM well - everyone knows there is good gnus and there is bad gnus. And since this is a text forum, we're looking for all the gnus that are fit to print. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Mar 01 - 04:12 PM "Little Hawk would be Ed"??? Who the hell is Ed? Keep in mind that I haven't watched any sitcoms in years...the 70's was my decade for watching sitcoms. I think TV's make good plantholders, and if you rip the guts out of them you can turn them into terrariums too. Very neat. If Mudcat was a sitcom, though, flattop would be the really strange character that no one can quite figure out (is he serious or is he not?)...and the official "short" person. They simply do not have people like me on sitcoms, as far as I know. It's too hard to market a concept like that. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 01 - 04:16 PM heh-heh-heh LH - except for the "official short person" you've pretty well descrebed Ed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 14 Mar 01 - 04:46 PM Tiggerdooley...... A deer ? You mean a Virginia White Tail ? There's only one 'Cat I know ( I am new to the Mudcat, so I don't know many 'Cats - actually, I don't KNOW any 'Cats ) that would fit the part, but after the trashing I got on a past thread, although deservedly so for my inate ability to type w/o thinking, I'M not going to suggest a name. Anyway, I guess I'm just predjudiced against playing such a rather demurre role. I need a part that combines the elements of girth and dumbness. What if there's an episode where they find a wooly in the ice ? Or a mastadon ? I wouldn't even need elocution lessons. Just some mesa grass and a mud wallow. I'll work for peanuts !!! That reminds me, gotta get back to another thread to find out how to make peanut soup.... gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: tiggerdooley Date: 14 Mar 01 - 04:55 PM Yeah, me too gnu. See you on the other side... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Ebbie Date: 14 Mar 01 - 04:59 PM Don't forget- this Mudcat town has a tavern too. That's where all the voiceovers bring everyone up to date on who is doing what and to whom... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Bert Date: 14 Mar 01 - 06:06 PM I can't believe we've gone this far on a Mudcat sitcom thread without anyone mentioning Murphy Brown. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 14 Mar 01 - 06:32 PM Oh, bert, you're right! How could we have forgotten our Murphy!? Scripts? PaterT? Jenellen? Anyone....scripts? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Peter Kasin Date: 14 Mar 01 - 07:17 PM Well, Little Hawk, you could take the MASH (Mudcat Army Song Hashers) role of "Little Hawkeye." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 14 Mar 01 - 07:31 PM MASH ? Can I try out for the part of the colonel's horse ? A little special effects, makeup, lose the horns.... nah, that'd be cheap and too contrived. gnu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: SINSULL Date: 14 Mar 01 - 07:44 PM I want to be Marilyn. "There's a call for you on Line 1." "Marilyn! We have only one line! " (vacuous stare) Hey, wouldn't Mick be great for the part of Maggie's "bear" lover? The one (played by Fabio) who lived in a cave and taught her to dance. How long is your hair, Mick? And we need a wise, medicine man type. Let's not allow this to continue into the stupid doctor and his wife season. OK? That would be too bad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: CarolC Date: 14 Mar 01 - 09:37 PM Little Hawk, you would like the TV show "Northern Exposure" Ed is half Indian and he is studying to become a Shaman. He has an Indian Spirit Guide called "One Who Waits". Only Ed can see One Who Waits. There is an official short person on the show. Only he's even shorter than me (and we both know that's pretty short). He's a manifestation of Ed's lack of self esteem. (And he's green.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Matt_R Date: 14 Mar 01 - 09:40 PM One Who Waits is my hero! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: SINSULL Date: 14 Mar 01 - 11:20 PM Ed can "dream fly" too. Occasionally awakens on the roof or in a tree. He is a film buff and has a huge collection.Abandoned as a child, he is forever looking for his Mom. Maurice was always my favorite. Ex astronaut, arrogant puppy dog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Chester Date: 15 Mar 01 - 03:20 PM Eye allers liked Holling. Butt eye wrecktum eye wudn't bee sooted fer that. End up drinkin' the Brick dry an sech. Hmm, ain't that one uv them imponderables? Drinkin' a Brick dry? Sorter like the one that sez if athleets git athleets foot, dew asterknots git misseltoe? An eye allers liked Terri Polo. She came later in the show. Eye thot she was kildly cute. She plaid the knew dokter's wif. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Little Hawk Date: 15 Mar 01 - 08:08 PM Pretty cool! Sounds like Ed would be an appropriate role for me after all. Do I get union scale or what? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: SINSULL Date: 15 Mar 01 - 09:11 PM Actually, the plan was to pay you with seal skins and bear steaks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Mar 01 - 12:13 AM Bear steaks? Really? Bear meat is pretty heavy stuff. Well, at least you're not offering beads and cheap trinkets... I could use some deerhide now and then, and a few falafels would be nice too. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Spud Murphy Date: 16 Mar 01 - 12:30 AM One each bar sambritch, order seal fetuccini, hold the trinkets, and you know damn well we don't grow chick peas above the Arctic Circle (or fava beans, either.) Spud |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Peter Kasin Date: 16 Mar 01 - 02:14 AM It tastes pretty grizzly, Little Hawk. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: wdyat12 Date: 16 Mar 01 - 04:40 AM OK Folks, We have the first three seasons planned out, but we still haven't heard from Max. This thread doesn't show any signs of slowing down, so how 'bout it Max can we do this show and get away with it? wdyat12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Jim Krause Date: 16 Mar 01 - 05:46 PM Are you guys gonna let Chester in here? Not the Mudcat Cafe, I mean the flick. Oh, golly. Jim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 19 Jul 01 - 01:27 AM lol |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: GUEST,Celtic Soul Date: 19 Jul 01 - 02:51 PM I haven't watched any TV for more than a year. But if a Mudcat sitcom was as much fun and as educational as this place is, it could get me to think about it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Margo Date: 20 Jul 01 - 02:22 PM It could easily be a play. No props except computers on desks and musical instruments. Each personality is lit but the rest of the stage is dark. They can talk to each other, even look at each other, but never touch. Each player's character is personified through a soliliquy and all play their instruments. It ends with a Mudcat concert. Whaddya think? Margo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: JenEllen Date: 20 Jul 01 - 02:23 PM beautiful Margo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Jul 01 - 02:47 PM You know, that'd be a hell of an idea for a play, but let each individual wander away from the comp screen as the stagelights slowly come up to reveal a scene that portrays the story or situation he or she is telling. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 09 Jun 02 - 09:02 PM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 10 Jun 02 - 04:57 AM Wow, what fun to re-read this. I'd forgotten all about it. Thanks, John! What classics, eh? Kudos to WesleyS for this one: Next week's episode : Little Hawk falls off his bike while watching Little Neo fix her G string Damn near fell outta my seat reading that one, again and they are ALL great stuff! kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: katlaughing Date: 15 Apr 06 - 03:53 PM refresh for fun |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Bill D Date: 15 Apr 06 - 04:06 PM LOLOL re-reading all the ideas is a hoot! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Ebbie Date: 15 Apr 06 - 04:28 PM I think it would be great fun! It would be a little like the Mudcat Tavern but in character. Set it up, kat! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Alba Date: 15 Apr 06 - 06:14 PM Yeah Ebbie..I agree. The Tavern with a twist..LOL. I am still laughing as some of the previous posts. Jude |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: gnu Date: 15 Apr 06 - 07:15 PM Gee... five years and no callbacks for an audition. Maybe I should reconsider my acting carrer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: Alice Date: 15 Apr 06 - 08:07 PM "....and the major industry in town being the NYCFTTS." So that means the MudcatCafe is located in Montana! I'm likin' this. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Cafe - the sitcom? From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 15 Apr 06 - 11:39 PM ""Mudcat Flats" as mentioned above, sounds like a grim and gritty slice of BBC drama set on a tenement block with graffiti, drugs and broken glass... " You're talking about the BS threads we all know and love! Any room for a clumsy drunk old fool who comes up with occasional witty words of humorous profound insight? |