BS: Only Cat Syndrome

Subject: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:08 AM

One of my cats has been missing for two weeks,his bed was full of blood stains when I came back from holiday,all enquiries have brought zilch news....it is time to accept that my little ginger lard monster( who never left the house for more than five minutes before now) is no longer with us. He was a fine cat, full of affection and madness in equal proportions, brave only in defence of his kitty bics but full of bonhomie and absurd optimism.That he will be sadly missed is a given.
That said, I still have his mother,getting up there in cat years now and not so accomodating or so spry as she was.She has been as bereft as I, so much so that she won't leave my side and is watching me now as I type ( and correcting my spelling).She's never liked kittens or even other cats very much and she's getting to the age where she dislikes change.My question to all you cat people out there is should I get another cat to keep her company or might that make things worse?

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:13 AM

Every house is improved by the addition of a kitten!

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: GUEST,Ade
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:16 AM

Morticia,

Definitely get a new kitten to keep her company! We lost our cairn terrier last year and our old tom cat Tim (16yrs) didn't know what to do with himself. We got a little black rescue kitten, Meg, and she has given Tim a new lease of life! Meg now ambushes Tim regularly and they roll over and over fighting in the living-room - only play fighting mind, and no harm is done to either of them. When Tim has has enough he makes it very plain and Meg leaves him alone. Meg used to amuse us by trying to sit like Tim and imitate his ways. She is now a year old and they get along like they have always known each other. Hope this helps!

Adrian (Dover, UK)

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Hollowfox
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:25 AM

Get his mum an apprentice. At first she'll be really miffed with you, and give the young'un a detailed unflattering verbal genetic description, and maybe even a swat. (I once had a senior cat regularly go into my closet and tell her troubles to an old rabbit fur coat.) Then she'll give him a quick and reluctant lick/wash when she thinks nobody's looking. Then acceptance, then playing. It'll be good for you, too. And for the kitten, especially if you get the one your instincts lead you to at the animal shelter.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Allan C.
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:32 AM

First, my condolences for your loss.

I was about to submit something nearly identical to Hollowfox's comments. So, I'll just say that I echo them.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Midchuck
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 09:50 AM

We're in almost exactly the same boat. We had too many cats about the same age, and lost two to normal failures of old age and one to cancer, within the last year. Now we have one very spoiled 14-year-old neutered female calico, who seems to think being an only cat is great because she has a lock on the spot between us in the bed. We plan to get at least one new member this spring. But we'll take our time to find a compatible individual.

You can count on the old cat being really angry for a few days. Then the new cat will become an adopted child at best, or part of the background to be ignored, at worst.

Don't limit it to kittens. Kittens can always get 'dopted. Cute is an evolved survival trait. But you don't have a kitten for very long in any event. The shelters all have young, healthy adults that it's harder for them to find homes for.

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From:
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 10:02 AM

So sorry about your kitty. Ditto to what was said about getting another. Some friends had an 18-year-old "double pawed" cat who ruled their house and grounds, but was getting more lethargic as time went by. A stray was put out on their road and the old cat brought him to the house, swatting him all the way. They became the best of friends and the old fellow perked up considerably.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 10:02 AM

I'm so sorry, Mortee. I never have to worry about "getting" cats.......whenever I drop below 4 the Cat Goddess sends me a couple. There is this "feline visible only" sign on my back gate that must say

All Cats Stop Here.....Lady is a real sucker!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Jock Morris
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 01:16 PM

Hi Morty,

So sorry to hear that you too have suffered the loss of a feline friend. Just over three weeks since I lost my Cleo. My new cat Zak has been getting more settled and Lucy (now 11) is still hissing at him, but less so as the days pass.

I'm a little concerned at the moment as I let Zak out for the first time today and although he's popped back into the garden a couple of times he hasn't come back in; and that's been 8 hours now. I do hope he will return.

Go get yourself another cat; your old puss will get used to it in a few weeks.

Scott

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Hawker
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 01:47 PM

So sorry to hear about your cat, it does sound like ginger has gone, although our old cat Shelley re-appeared after six and a half weeks, to be greeted by 2 annoying and playful replacements! OOPS! Whatever you do it will be the right decision, the cat goddess will see to that!
Lucy

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 02:48 PM

I agree, Mortee. It's never been good for any of mine to be the only cat, even the old persnickety ones. Same goes for dogs. When our old dog, now gone two years, was getting crotchety and slow moving, Merlee the Border Collie came into his life and perked him right up until the very end.

Out of the 6 I have, half have been kittens when found, the others teens and adults. Either would be good for your old "gel"...just be sure you protect her special spot from the new one and be sure to give her extra loves so she knows she is not being replaced. It helps if you can keep them in separate rooms for the firts few days. Usually any new ones here spend a few days in a bedroom with the door closed. The and the others snif under the door and bat at each, then I gradually stand there with the door open and let them all peer at one another. each day seens just a bit more of them interacting and, unless someone is really territorial, by the end of a few days, they are at the stage where they are either best buds or at least tippy-toeing around each other and getting to know one another.

Again, I am so sorry about your Pie. None of them can ever be replaced; just new ones brought in to steal our hearts some more.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 03:26 PM

dito ditto dito... except for 'doptting an older cat. I believe this depends on the age and health of the old girl. I think a kitten would be better with a carefully "supervised" introduction, complete with much love showered on both, and comparitively more to the senior, which I assume you will easily supply, will smooth out the transition for the old girl.

Now, I know I will get taken to task for this, but here goes.... get a male kitten and only get one new cat for now. If you get a female before spay, there could be a war, even if the female is just a kitten. Although this is just theory, because I have done this twice with an old female and a young ( before spay ) female and didn't have to clean up THAT much fur upon returning home from work each day.

Whatever you do, you should spend a lot of energy reassuring the old girl that her space is sacred to you and that the new one is also welcome. You should consider separating the two when you are absent for the first little while - at least several days.

Good luck and let us know how things go.

gnu

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 07:08 PM

The "cat fairy" keeps close watch on my house too. And I am always introducing new members to our family. There is no rhyme or reason to easy transitions vs. hard ones. But in the end everyone settles down. Only rule: pay lots of attention to the old girl even when the new cat is perfectly adorable. I too keep a new cat in a separate room and allow them all to get used to new smells and faces.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 08:02 PM

You guys all make good sense, specially as you are saying what I want to hear :) There is no replacing my pie-cat, we loved him very much but watching his mother sorrowing ( okay,and me too) is tough. Tomorow I'm off down the local animal shelter, it will be several weeks before they let me adopt which will give Pud a bit of breathing space and allow me space in my heart for another cat which I can forgive for not being him.......More as it happens
Morti

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 08:11 PM

Yeah Morty........Sorry to hear, but its the right move. The only "single" cats that seem to do well are the ones that have always been the only cat. Tell us all about your newbie when s/he arrives.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 17 Mar 01 - 08:29 PM

We have never had cats that have been welcoming to other cats and there have always been a few days of hissing, sometimes the old ones keeping away, etc but things have always settled down after a few days.

Personally, I prefer not to try to keep them separate but to let them see one another straight off. The times we have tried the other approach, the old residents have seemed to know anyway - it just seems to me to produce suspicion and unsettled cats and you still have the hissing when they meet.

Long term, I agree with everyone here - it will be good for the cat to have a friend.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Nemesis
Date: 18 Mar 01 - 06:32 AM

Dear Morticia,

SO sorry to hear about your loss. You might remember we lost our Esme during the the full moon eclipse? Well, went straight on and got a rescue kitten (black,fluffy Buffy) about 3 weeks later. Hissing, growling and different parts of the house being inhabited - but 2 months on it is great they are friends and Felicity the older one is settled down - she was getting neurotic for company, making me feel awful/guilty if I'd been out all day (as one has to!) Consequently and happily, I found our relationship was less strained. Of course, I sadly miss Esme but Buffy is a lovely little girl and goes a long way to making the "family" feel whole again.

Blessings be, Hille

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Morticia
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 01:02 PM

For those of you who asked me to keep them posted, we found Pie's little body this morning.At least I won't keep hoping or watching for him anymore.

Subject: Dang!
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 01:08 PM

Aaaaawwwww.....

:-(

Kitty heaven, where the world is one big knitted blanket, infested with cat-nip flavoured mice...
Have fun Pie...

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 01:18 PM

So sorry Morty.............but I like Clinton's idea of kitty heaven. And at least you know, which is a bit better than never knowing.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Micca
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 01:21 PM

Sad, sad day....I liked the little ginger bandit....and I am with Clinton too, kitty heaven for the little fella, and at least you KNOW now, unpleasent but better than wondering...love and hugs...

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 01:55 PM

Condolences.

Nice thought Clinton.

gnu

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: kimmers
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 02:15 PM

Poor Morticia... it's so sad to lose a little furry one. I'm glad you found her, though... better than the uncertainty.

When we lost our Selina last year from a long illness, my tender-hearted husband was heartbroken. He hand-built a little wooden coffin for her, and we actually kept her "in state" for a few hours in the living room, surrounded by candles and heaped with fresh roses. Then we buried her in the yard next to her favorite rose bush. We made a point of letting the other two cats sniff at her before we buried her, so that they would understand that she was dead. I think that helps a little.

Is your surviving kitty big? Small? Feisty? Easy-going? Was she ever an only cat? These things make a difference on what kind of fuzzy friend you adopt. Kittens are a blast, but they are high-energy and can be very demanding of their new mommy's time. An adult cat is usually steadier and calmer and may not be as upsetting to a sedate older cat. I've always adopted one-to-two-year-olds from the shelter (or who appeared, unplanned, in my life) and have had pretty good luck with the mix.

On the male-vs-female issue: I have to admit to a fondness to large neutered male adult cats with enormous paws and immense dignity. And our male cat always got along with both of the ladies, whereas the two ladies fought like cats and, well, cats. But in the end, you'll have to look at the prospective adoptee's personality and just make a guess.

Or throw it all in the hands of the Divine to just send you the right feline.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 02:28 PM

Our best lap cats and "people" cats have all been male. Our females have either been marginal, stand-offish, or complete fruitcakes. Genoa, the little calico is always around, but doesn't want to sit with you and only wants petted on her very specific terms. Roxie the little bitch is completely independent but does answer to "Roxie you little bitch." She's Genoa's (Poogie) daughter and has the worst traits of Mom in spades! Not one redeeming feature! There was Catalina, reasonably sweet Siamese, but not overly affectionate as opposed to Luff, a red point Siamese (yeah, I know, technically a color-point Oriental) who was the BIGGEST lover you could possibly imagine. And then there was Alcyone, a lynx point Siamese female, who was a complete and total psychotic. The older she got the more bizarre she became.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Diva
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 02:58 PM

Sorry to hear about your cat..... I'm new to this being owned by a cat business and would be shattered if anything happened to Molly. Hugs....

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 03:01 PM

Kate and Allie (don't blame us, someone else named them) mean so much to us. So sorry Morty.

Rick and Heather

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 03:11 PM

I know this is a serious topic. I've lost six. It hurts like heck and my heart goes out to Morty and all the Catters who have shared the experience and who had tears in their eyes when they read the news. But, I can't help but ask Rick if his two pets are dogs or Allie Kates ?

gnu

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 03:11 PM

Oh, Mortee, I am so sorry, but glad you finally know for sure, either way. It is so hard to lose one. Kitty heaven sounds a grand place...I'd like ot go there, too. Pie will like my Beau Geste, Dashell, Sasheen, Miss Pitty-Pat, Kaysha, Hawkeye, and Shadowfax, all of who've passed on over the past ten years or so. I know they are having a blast.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Giac
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 03:37 PM

Though it's dreadful to learn the truth, it is so much worse to wonder forever. Sorry about your fuzzy one. Hugs to you.

And thanks, Morticia, for taking time from your sadness to do a kind favor for another. I am most appreciative.

Let us know when you get a new friend, and how your only cat feels about it.

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 06:28 PM

Morticia, my thoughts are with you and little Pie. It must have been heartrending, but at least you know what happened to him and can give him a proper burial. As to his mother, I'd like to echo all the people who advised 'Get her another companion soon'. Maybe my Linus would be alive now if I'd got him a companion in time. He was separated from a long-time mate and just wasted away after an old injury made itself felt once more.

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 07:44 PM

Hey Morty, at the shelter, look out for a soppy one for me, I miss having the stupid white one around, to the point of having his photo at my desk....

Don't leave it too long, it's very easy to get used to just the one. My Shadow has got very possesive recently, to the extent that my lower body is scratched to pieces where she claws at me.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: JenEllen
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 09:04 PM

So sorry Morty! I know how I'd feel, but I am glad you did find the poor sod.

A friend sent me a comic once about getting the housecat a new kitten to play with. Above the human the bubble said something like "I want to get her a kitten to play with, it should be fun!" and above the cat's head it read "How's about I get YOU a pack of hyenas to follow you around and you tell me how much fun it is..." Sully looks at Bridget and agrees totally..

BIG hugs to you, your new friend will find your house soon enough.

~datgirl

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Hawker
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 05:15 PM

So very sorry to hear your sad news, but at least you know what happened to him, Hope the kitty angels look after him well in kitty heaven!
lucy

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: Morticia
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 07:09 PM

Many, many thanks to all you kind people...I won't pretend my heart isn't aching but you guys made it ache a helluva lot less.I really like the idea of Pie in kitty heaven....bet he's converted half the population to the Kitty Trade Union ( more kitty bics, less mice)...anyway, I can't tell you what a difference it's made to me to know people care....thanks

Subject: RE: BS: Only Cat Syndrome
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Mar 01 - 07:34 PM

Sorry, Morty. It has all been said.