Song Challenge! Part 51

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 01 - 11:09 PM

Alright, you challengers great and far!  This one is OFFICIAL!!

I have been requested by the Gaelic Goddess herself to initiate the inimitable Mudcat's
SONG CHALLENGE 51!! So here's a tale of great woe, great mystery, far away magic places, and all the elements of a truly great Tragic Song.  Make Sharpe Thye Quilles, Give room, And Foot It!!

And Make the Gaelic Goddess Proud!

(She'll be back as soon as she closes on and gets moved into a beautiful new house they have named Moon on the Hill -- look for her around April 2-3 or so!) (Don't let her Down!!!!).

Sheep shoots sleeping shepherd -- March 8, 2001-- Web posted at: 9:29 PM EST (0229 GMT) CAIRO, Egypt (AP) -- Shepherd Mokhtar Adam Fadl was sleeping soundly beside his flock when he was shot dead. Hours later police found his killer.

It was one of his sheep, police officers said Thursday. The sheep killed Fadl by kicking his gun and accidentally firing it, the officers said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

The shot hit Fadl in the chest as the 20-year-old Bedouin slept in the desert near Sidi Barrani, northwest Egypt.

Police in the district of Marsa Matrouh said they confiscated the locally made gun as it was not licensed.

They took the sheep away, but not to prison.

Go for it, Challengers!!!
 
Amos (for Áine)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 08:46 AM

One wonders if the police considered the possibility of whether the killer was really a wolf attired in sheepskin? Hmmm! The police took the "sheep" away. How on earth did they identify which sheep it was, or did they jail the entire herd? I can just imagine the investigating officer asking his assistant, "Do you herd sheep?" And the assistant indignantly replying, "Of course not! You are wrong. You mean 'Have you heard sheep?'" Inquiring minds would like to know how this case will be resolved.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:02 AM

I shot the shepherd...
But I did not do it purposely.

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:17 AM

Some sheep done shot a shepherd dead song

Oh it's lonely in Egypt
And the feelin' just got right for a brand new folk song
Some sheep done shot a shepherd dead song

Hey, whatcha say? Another sheep done shot a shepherd dead, (again?) song!
And I am now alone, oh so far from home, oh so far from home.

So please write for me, some sheep ballad-ry
About what happened in Sidi Barran-ni-i -i -i
How in Marsa Matrouh, Mokhtar Adam is through
He won't bother young sheep anymore!

Hey, whatcha say? Another sheep done shot a shepherd dead, (again?) song!
And I am now alone, oh so far from home, oh so far from home.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:22 AM

Ahem.... Sheep got your tongue? Afraid to talk?

Monday's a bad day for Song Challenges?

Here are some titles for your consideration:

The Ballad of Billy, the Lamb

Sheep Lie

Hey, Ewe, Where you Going With That SHotgun in Your Hand?

Who Put the Ram in the SLamma-ramma-ding-dong?
As Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night
Seven Sheepish Angels
Ram-O-Lee and Little Mokhtar
Kevin Wooly
A Wild AUstralian Ewe
Waltzing atilda Strikes Back, or, The Jumbuck's Revenge...

I'm not going to do ALL the work around here! :>)

C'mon, you under-paid geniuses!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:26 AM

Dolly and Akhtar were lovers...(she catches him with a nanny goat)... she shot her shepherd, 'cos he was doin' her wrong
RtS (what do you expect, lyrics?!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:26 AM

So what am I? insignificant? hmmmppphhhh!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Morticia
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:30 AM

All I need is a tall sheep and a star to shoot him by?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:41 AM

THE BALLAD OF TED RAMBLEAT

Let me tell you all a story 'bout a sheep named Ted,
Seems once upon a time the critter shot his shepherd dead.
Said "Sheep are stupid but this ram is no one's fool!"
So he loaded up with shepherd-shot, and aimed his hoof to pull!
Trigger, that is.
Full bore.
(Deadly.)

Along came the forensic team to find the evil doer,
No human perpetrators trace, just pellets of manure.
So they tested all the cloven hooves for Hoppe's Number Nine,
And when they got to Teddy's wife she bleated (nearly whined),
"Take me in!
It was my fault!" (Adultery.)

But Ted was quite the gentleman and glad for what he'd done;
He bleated out the tale of how the shepherd'd had his fun.
For Ted's dear wife was just the last of all the sweeter ewes,
To come to him in heartbreak with the awfullest of news.
Warn't no shepherd's crook. From behind. (Forcibly.) So in the end they ruled it justifiable homicide.
Found traces there of condom use ('twas lubed, with spermacide).
So shepherd boys take notice of poor Mokhtar's sad affair...
Apparently rams get nasty if you ram their ladies there. Private parts.
Unmentionables.
(Bestiality.)

Ted's in witness protection out there lolling by the pool,
Cuz the desert is no place for sheep, with all that heavy wool.
His wife and all their lambkins keep him merry company,
At the Grand Hotel Chez Akbar, there in Sidi Barrani.
Sued for damages.
Busted porn ring.
(Punitively.)

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Jeri
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:47 AM

I don't have any ideas for the "killer sheep" yet, but the "Moon on the Hill" thing is inspiring all sorts of images...

...then again, how about this?

Your bitter heart
Will make you weep
One day you'll pay
For abusin' sheep.
'Cause we have your gun
And we can use it, too
Your bitter heart
Will have a hole right through.

cho:
When police come
And find your ass
We'll just act dumb
And chew the grass
You'll be dead
And they'll be had
They won't suspect us,
Sheep gone baaaaaad.

Your bitter heart
Will stop someday
We'll be on the lamb,
But that's ok
There's mutton now
That you can do
Your bitter heart
Will have a hole right through.

Subject: Call a Clone!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:47 AM

OK, Ah reckon now not only kin Ah not SEE, Ah'm gon' hevta avoid the *(&*(&&^^& computer when the AM sun glars off the screen at me cuz Ah swar Ah poof-red that durn thang as good as Ah cud!

SORRRR-EEE.

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:48 AM

Brava, Susan!
But don't sing that to the Sunday School!
RtS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:50 AM

Bravo Jeri!

MMario's visiting here this weekend. I figure we'll do those two in the town green, with Hardi out of uniform, out in front of the church. Maybe Jeri can get here in time and we can add hers. We have lots of sheep people here too. Should go over real good.

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:54 AM

The ram who shot Mokhtar Fadl

When Mokhtar Fadl came to town the ewes they all would hide
they'd hide
When Mokhtar Fadl walked around, the rams would step aside
Because the shepherds gun was the only law that Mohktar understood
When it came to shooting straight and fast
Mohktar was mighty good.

From out of the east a new ram , his horns as hard as rock
a ram
The kind of ram Egypt would need to ease a troubled flock
Because the shepherds gun was the only law that Mohktar understood
When it came to shooting straight and fast
Mohktar was mighty good.

Many a sheep would face his gun and many a sheep would fall
The ram who shot Mokhtar Fadl ; he shot Mokhtar Fadl
he was the bravest of them all.

Now the love of a ewe can make a ram stay on when he should go
stay on
Just trying to build a peaceful life where sheep are free to go
Because the shepherds gun was the only law that Mohktar understood
When it came to shooting straight and fast
Mohktar was mighty good.

Afraid on the hill, the sheep all prayed; that he'd die some fateful night
that night
So nothing they said could keep that ram from going out to fight
Because the shepherds gun was the only law that Mohktar understood
when the final showdown came to pass
that ram he sure could shoot.

Out in the dark two shots rang out ;the shots made Mokhtar fall
The ram who shot Mokhtar Fadl;he shot Mokhtar Fadl
he was the bravest of them all.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:58 AM

bravobravo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 10:03 AM

(sheepishly...)

Fadl had a little lamb
The lamb it shot him dead
The policeman took the lamb away
Between two bits of bread

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 10:08 AM

FM! LOVE it! short, simple and says it all.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roll&G0-C
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:05 AM

Well, Mario, you certainly took the ram by the horns! I was trying to work up a parody of Wild Bill Jones but I'm overcome with awe.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: mousethief
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:11 AM

Well I see the bestiality angle has been worked to death, so I'll have to think of something else. Hmmm..

Anyway, great songs, everybody. I especially liked the Liberty Valens send-up.

Hope to see you soon, song in hand.

Alex

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Jande
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:16 AM

LOL! Those are great! I especially like the onw between two pieces of bread! I've got Sheep Dung in my brain, though --can't think of a thing to write. Bah-ah-ah-ahd Muses!!

~ Jande

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:17 AM

simply amazing what a person can do with search and replace, isn't it? (parody can be so much fun when it works)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:38 AM

I'll be looking at her moon.... but I'll be seeing.... EWE..... (BLAMMM!)

WILD Thing! Ewe make my heart sing! You make everything GROOVY! Wild thing! (BLAMMM!)

Ewe oughter be in pictures... (BLAMMM!)

Oh! Ewe b'ewe-teeful ewe you fluffy ole b'ewe-teefull ewe...
Let me sneak on up behind-ewe,
None can satisfy me like ewe!
Oh! Ewe b'ewe-teeful lamb you sweet young b'ewe-teefull lamb... (BLAMMM!!!)

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Trapper
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:40 AM

Quick and dirty...

Baa, Baa black sheep
Words by Al Boyce - 3/20/2001

Baa, Baa black sheep
Did your trigger pull?
Yes sir, Yes Sir
Two barrels full.
One for my master,
Aimed straight for his brain,
Another headed for his heart
To cause his chest pain....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:45 AM

I can't even go there......

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:51 AM

Thanks to all for your forebearance in not mentioning the fact that not only did I fail to come up with any lyrics but I also managed to rename the shepherd! DOH! I'm glad I didn't try, the others are much too good!
Rt(Stoopid)S

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: mousethief
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:56 AM

Doli and Mokhtar
tune: Frankie and Johnny (of course!)

Doli and Mokhtar were lovers
O Lordy, how they could love
They swore t' be true to each other
Just as true as th stars above
He was her man but he done her wrong

Doli and Mokhtar went walking
Mokhtar had a brand new suit
Doli gave a whole year's fleece
Just to make her man look cute
He was her man but he done her wrong

Mokhtar said, I've got ta leave you
But I won't be very long
Don't you wait up for me, honey
Just chew your cud while I'm gone
He was her man but he done her wrong

Doli went down to th pasture
Stopped to chew some grass
Says to a ram named Ism'el
Has my man Mokhtar been past?
He was her man but he done her wrong

Well, I ain't going to tell you no story
Ain't going to tell you no lie
Mokhtar went by 'bout an hour ago
With a sheep named Nellie Bly
He is your man but he's doing you wrong

Doli went home in a hurry
She did'nt go there for fun
She hurried home to get ahold
Of Mokhtar's shootin' gun
He was her man but he's doing her wrong

Doli looked up from her pasture
Looked at a meadow, so high
Saw Mokhtar man, a lovin' up
That black sheep, Nellie Bly
He was her man but he done her wrong

Mokhtar saw Doli a comin'
Down the hillside he did scoot
But Doli took aim with her pistol
An' th gun went roota-toot-toot
He was her man but he done her wrong

Bring out your long black coffin
Bring out your funeral clothes
Mokhtar's gone an' cashed his checks
To th graveyard, Mokhtar goes
He was her man but he done her wrong

Drive out your rubber tired carriage
Drive out your rubber tired hack
There's twelve men going to th graveyard
But a'leven comin' back
He was her man but he done her wrong

Th sheriff arrested poor Doli
He took 'er ta jail don'tcha know
But she's just a dumb sheep, the judge said
So we have to let her go
Besides, he was her man and he done her wrong

Copyright © 2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 12:03 PM

*bowing three times to the Pacific North West*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Trapper
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 12:04 PM

Quick and dirty #2... going for the 2-for-1...

SHEPHERD-POOF SONG
Tune: The Whiffenpoof Song
Words by Al Boyce - 3/20/2001

From the deserts down in Egypt,
to the place the Pharaoh's dwell,
To the dear old pyramids we love so well.
Sang the bedouin shepherd Mokhtar
with his hookah raised on high
And his ululating tenor really smelled.

Yes, the horror of his singing
of the songs we love so well,
``Mahma Hawlo" and ``Rasamtak'' and the rest.
He would serenade us lambkins
while his hashish stash would last
So I kicked his gun and shot him in the chest.

CHORUS:
I'm a poor little lamb who has gone astray
Bah, bah, bah.
A little black sheep, blew my shepherd away
Bah, bah, bah.
With singing so lethal, who could blame me?
For sending his soul from to eternity
Better that, than dropping a COW on he...
Bah, bah, bah.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 12:13 PM

someone owes me a keyboard and screen cleaning - though I should KNOW better then to read these things while trying to take a drink. especially since it's getting hard to explain why I keep spraying coffee around the cubicle.

BRAVO!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 12:36 PM

Bad, bad, bad! He done 'er wrong...blues in the moonlight!

Reminds me of the old Falkland Islands' war story of why there were no longer any sheep left on the islands; seems thay'd all been shipped back to England as war brides.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 02:07 PM

Ah, these are getting really good! Mine is just sheeperel!

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Trapper
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:07 PM

WYSIWYG-

I thought the "I Shot The Sheriff" parody was the best one yet! I think you should write the rest of THAT one!

- Al

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 03:10 PM

Nah, trap, thanks, but you take it from there if you want.

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Trapper
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 05:06 PM

Will do WYSIWIG! How's this?

I SHOT THE SHEPHERD
Tune: I Shot the Sheriff
Words: WYSIWIG and Al Boyce - 3/20/2001

I shot the shepherd...
But I did not do it purposely.
Oh, no, oh
I shot the shepherd...
But I did not do it purposely.

All around Sidi Baranni town
In the district of Marsa Matrouh
The Egyptians want to make lamb chops of me,
Shish kebab or a bowl of kibbee,
All for shooting the shepherd you see
But I say...

Baaa, baaa, baaa -- baa, baa, baa
Baa, baa, baa

Oh, I shot the shepherd,
but I swear it was an accident
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I said, I shot the shepherd
While he slept beside his Bedouin tent
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Hear this...

Shepherd Mokhtar Fadl always hated me
For what I don't know
As a joke, I thought I'd kick him awake
But instead I made his gun blow
Yes, my kick made his mighty gun blow...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: mousethief
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 05:08 PM

Standing ovation!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 06:59 PM

Trapper Al,

Mouth open in delight and amazement! (Oving standation)

EXCELLENT!

I'll write with you anytime. When you see me toss out little bits like that, GO FOR IT. It's just my mind warming up-- I don't go back and write them, see, so take one whenever you wish. Take two, they're small. I hate it when they don't get to grow up with the big songs.

You are, I see, rather new in these parts. Have we welcomed you properly yet?

*!*W*E*L*C*O*M*E*!*

Don't forget to put in yer time at MudSkewl now, RIGHT HERE.

~Susan

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 07:13 PM

WOW!!!!! WOW!!!!! You guys are WORRRRERLDD CLASSSS!!! Sorry about thw cross-timed post, MM!! You're the greatest. I just love these.

I'd been toying with "I Got Ewe, babe" and a variant of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (The Ballad of Duncan and Brady)" which discusses how he's been on the ewe too lon. But you guys have me beat all hollow, and I am sure the GG will be PROUD!!!
:>))

HURRRRRY!!! HURRRRRY!!!!! HUUUUUUUUURRRRRY!!! GETCHER HOT RHYMES IN, GETCHER TOONZ IN, GETCHER BEST STUFF IN TO THIS WORLD CLASS DEATH_DEFYING, TALENTED, BRILLIANT, SPARKLING, LAUGH_PROVOKING, CHUCKLE INDUCING, GRIN-STARTIN' SONG CHALLENGE!!!!

Silver Blobs are ALSO authorized and will be distributed soon!

Love,

Amos (for Áine)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 07:23 PM

Baaaa! I got ewe baaaa!

LOL!

You stinker, you had that in mind ALL DAY!!!!

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:28 PM

. . . and the clouds parted once again (see SONG CHALLENGE! Part 50) and herself was heard to say . . .

Just popped in to see what condition your conditions were in (hahaha) and to thank my dear, sweet Bard of the Fam, Amos, for running the show whilst I joist with the evil wizards holding the gold in the dizzying kingdom of real estatedom . . . and to also thank himself in front of myself and everybody for putting the lid on what could have been a red-hot red-headed Gaelic Goddess hissy fit! . . . what a friend we have in Amos . . .

Keep up the good work, and please, keep MMario spitting on his screen for all he's worth (and that's a hell of a lot!!). I'll be back for good and all after the Day of the Fool (a/k/a Moving Day) . . . hugs and snogs and two kisses on each cheek to all my lovely Challenge!rs . . .

-- The Now Gastrointestinally Gobsmacked Gaelic Goddess *BG*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:33 PM

One more day'til the BLOBS come down, as the bishop said to the actress. And a special, special ANNOUNCEMENT, fresh from the Cosmic Green Energy Field of the eternal Gaelic Goddess!! One which will be Highly Meaningful to all those who Come Forth With Songes!!!!

I am cracking up here, and I think there are several who owe MM a screen cleaning. What a screaming stream of genius is the Mudcat!! Quelle sagesse!!!

Until then, lads and lasses, a pint of Brown all around on me. You're doing great.

Amos (for Áine)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Matt_R
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 11:43 PM

Sheep go to Heaven, goats go to HELL!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 08:15 AM

Matt - can you expand on that theme? (in verse, of course!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Hyperabid
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 10:21 AM

I have a conspiracy theory about this one…..

Sheep CIA

To the tune of "YMCA – Village People"

Verse 1

Young sheep – Don't just stick to your lot
I said young sheep – Making wool and lamb chops
You can do more – Join the Sheep CIA
Make friends and learn new cultures

Verse 2

Young sheep – We'll train you up right from scratch
I said young sheep – In wet work and setting traps
And when you've learnt – Stay with the sheep CIA
Throw your new friends to the vultures

Chorus

Nah – nah – nah – nah – nah

It's fun to be in the sheep CIA
You get to bribe people both night and day
And if Greenbacks they fail
Just you waggle your tail
Woolly Mata Hari prevail

Verse 3

Young sheep – I was once in your hooves
I was mutton – With nothing to loose
Then I joined up – Got into people abuse
And now Congress want to see me

Verse 4

Young sheep – Just remember the code
If you get caught – You acted all on your own
In your trial – Just say you did for home
And you'll get off scot free like me

Chorus

Nah – nah – nah – nah – nah

It's fun to be in the sheep CIA
You get to shoot people both night and day
And when the body is found
Just bleat when cops are around
And your secret it won't be found

Chorus to End

Of course I don't really think the CIA are all that baaaaaaaaaaad!

Cheers

Hyper

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 10:34 AM

LOL!!!

"Woolly Mata Hari prevail...."

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 11:12 AM

Sorry Mario, Cake already did.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 04:36 PM

It's possible, y'know, this little "accident" really was a conspiracy! In one of the books on the theory of the Hundredth Monkey there was an example (can't recall the source, sorry) of sudden new behaviour by sheep in the south of England of escaping across road-gratings (which they couldn't walk on cuz their feet got caught) by lying down and rolling over them (wow!). But the odd part of it was that the same time they learned this trick in the south of England, sheep shortly began doing it in the north of Englad, supporting the philosophic notion of a "morphemic field" in which the new knowledge migrated to the species because at some level they were subscribing to the "field" containing that knowledge.

In the present instance, a rash of "Lambchops' revenge" stories can be anticipated spreading across the range of sheep-eating bipeds, as the species ramps up for justice on the macro-scale!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 05:14 PM

Well, dang then, WRITE THAT SONG Amos!

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Bradypus
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 07:04 PM

If anyone can suggest a couple of Arabic syllables to replace the 'Baht hat' in the following, I'd be grateful.

Sidi Barani

Tune: Ilkla Moor

Where hast thou been since I saw thee
In Sidi Barani Baht hat?
Where hast thou been since I saw thee?
Why did ewe turn away and flee?
In Sidi Barani
In Sidi Barani
In Sidi Barani

I've been a-grazing all day long
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
I've been a-grazing all day long
Bleating an Arabic folk song
In Sidi Barani
Arabic Doh-Re-Mi
In Sidi Barani

Mokhtar Adam Fadl was asleep
In Sidi Barani Baht hat.
Mokhtar Adam Fadl was asleep
Not looking after his poor sheep
In Sidi Barani
The shepherd could not see
In Sidi Barani

Then I espied the shepherd's gun
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
Then I espied the shepherd's gun
And thought that I'd have myself some fun
In Sidi Barani
The idea tickled me
In Sidi Barani

I kicked the trigger with my hoof
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
I kicked the trigger with my hoof
The print's still there if you want proof
In Sidi Barani
You wonder why I flee
In Sidi Barani

Poor Mokhtar Fadl's laid to rest
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
Poor Mokhtar Fadl's laid to rest
One single bullet through his chest
In Sidi Barani
They're singing mournfully
In Sidi Barani

Now you're in trouble with the cops
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
Now you're in trouble with the cops
They'll turn you into tender chops
In Sidi Barani
They'll roast you tenderly
In Sidi Barani

Then we shall all have eaten thee
In Sidi Barani Baht hat
Then we shall all have eaten thee
All but the shepherd, don't you see
In Sidi Barani
That sheep shall not run free
In sidi Barani

Bradypus

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 10:19 PM

Nice work, BP!! I knew someone would marry "cops" to "chops" sooner or later!

Some common (albeit very rusty) Arabic expressions, more or less phonetically spelled:

"En'sh'alla!" means "as (or if) God wills it". It is used as an afterthought to almost every wish, desire, decision or statement of intention as a way of refreshing your subordination to the Almighty. "I'll see you for dinner at 7, en'sh'alla!".

"Ouajha", "ouajha, sidi", means roughly the equivalent of "Yowzer", or "yowzer, Sir!". Pronounced 'wa-(k)chaa!'

"Shokrahn" is used to generally mean thank you, and is often responded to by "laaa, shokrane, Alla oua'd'jib" meaning, "Don't thank me! Thank God!".

"L'a'besse! l'a'besse alik" means, roughly, "How's it going? Doin' alright?".

"H'a'md'u'lla!" means "thanks to God!" and is used as an interjection for almost anything. "Doin' just fine, H'a'md'u'lla!"

You could stick that last one in there wherever you put that phrase about Paht hat -- it'd scan with a little slippage! (These are Moroccan Arabic; there are many other variants in the Arab world).

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Bradypus
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 06:09 PM

Thanks, Amos.H'a'md'u'lla will do just fine. The tune is very elastic, especially on that line.

Sidi Barani

Tune: Ilkla Moor

Where hast thou been since I saw thee
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla?
Where hast thou been since I saw thee?
Why did ewe turn away and flee?
In Sidi Barani
In Sidi Barani
In Sidi Barani

I've been a-grazing all day long
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
I've been a-grazing all day long
Bleating an Arabic folk song
In Sidi Barani
Arabic Doh-Re-Mi
In Sidi Barani

Mokhtar Adam Fadl was asleep
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla.
Mokhtar Adam Fadl was asleep
Not looking after his poor sheep
In Sidi Barani
The shepherd could not see
In Sidi Barani

Then I espied the shepherd's gun
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
Then I espied the shepherd's gun
And thought that I'd have myself some fun
In Sidi Barani
The idea tickled me
In Sidi Barani

I kicked the trigger with my hoof
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
I kicked the trigger with my hoof
The print's still there if you want proof
In Sidi Barani
You wonder why I flee
In Sidi Barani

Poor Mokhtar Fadl's laid to rest
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
Poor Mokhtar Fadl's laid to rest
One single bullet through his chest
In Sidi Barani
They're singing mournfully
In Sidi Barani

Now you're in trouble with the cops
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
Now you're in trouble with the cops
They'll turn you into tender chops
In Sidi Barani
They'll roast you tenderly
In Sidi Barani

Then we shall all have eaten thee
In Sidi Barani H'a'md'u'lla
Then we shall all have eaten thee
All but the shepherd, don't you see
In Sidi Barani
That sheep shall not run free
In sidi Barani

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 01:52 AM

Challenge 51 B.L.O.B. Winners

Silver B.L.O.B.s (Best Line O' Bull) Awards are given for outstanding phrases, couplets, or verses within a Challenge entry.

Challenge 51 Silver B.L.O.B. Awards go to:

MMARIO!  For the stirring lines,
 

Now the love of a ewe can make a ram stay on when he should go (stay on!)
 Just trying to build a peaceful life where sheep are free to go
 Because the shepherds gun was the only law that Mohktar understood
 When it came to shooting straight and fast
 Mohktar was mighty good.
 

FIBULA M! for the elegant summary in
 

The policeman took the lamb away
 Between two bits of bread

WYSIWYG!! For high flavor in:

Along came the forensic team to find the evil doer,
 No human perpetrators trace, just pellets of manure.
 So they tested all the cloven hooves for Hoppe's Number Nine,
 And when they got to Teddy's wife she bleated (nearly whined),
 "Take me in! It was my fault!"
 

JERI!  for the hilarious and terse:
 

When police come
 And find your ass
 We'll just act dumb
 And chew the grass
 

MOUSETHIEF!  for the visionary
 

Doli and Mokhtar went walking
 Mokhtar had a brand new suit
 Doli gave a whole year's fleece
 Just to make her man look cute
 He was her man but he done her wrong .
 

TRAPPER!  DOUBLE BLOBBER!! For the exotic:
 

Yes, the horror of his singing
 of the songs we love so well,
 ``Mahma Hawlo" and ``Rasamtak'' and the rest.
 He would serenade us lambkins
 while his hashish stash would last
 So I kicked his gun and shot him in the chest.

AND:
 

The Egyptians want to make lamb chops of me,
 Shish kebab or a bowl of kibbee,

HYPERABID!  For the unbelievable:
 

Young sheep ­ We'll train you up right from scratch
 I said young sheep ­ In wet work and setting traps
 And when you've learnt ­ Stay with the sheep CIA
 Throw your new friends to the vultures ...
And when the body is found
 Just bleat when cops are around
 And your secret it won't be found

and finally, to
 

BRADYPUS!! For the sidesplitting:
 

Now you're in trouble with the cops
 They'll turn you into tender chops
 In Sidi Barani
 They'll roast you tenderly
 In Sidi Barani...

Then we shall all have eaten thee
 All but the shepherd, don't you see
 In Sidi Barani
 That sheep shall not run free
 In Sidi Barani
 

Congratulations, you motley lot of Flying Inspirations!!  Wodda gang of poets!!
The Goddess will bless you for sure!!!
 

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:19 AM

(Golden Cow Chip Awards are given to all Winners of the SONG CHALLENGE! Contest. These arepermanent awards and should be displayed proudly and prominently on your mantel. There is one caveat, however.
If it is discovered that any receiver of the Golden Cow Chip Award has used their trophy in a local (or international) cow chip tossing contest, said Chip shall be confiscated immediately and awarded to another Song Challenger.)

Newest Song Challenge! Award --

The  Golden Cow Chip with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon!!!!!!

(The GCCWMMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry  which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the  Book and onto her monitor screen).

Our Lady of the Neon Green Fringe once Again reveals her Fathomless Generosity and Compassion by adding a BRAND NEW Award to our Rich Array of Luxury Incentives!!!

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon:

MOUSETHIEF,  for  "Doli and Mokhtar"
 

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster: (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded  for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

WYSYWIG, for "The Ballad of Ted Rambleat"
HYPERABID, for "Sheep CIA"

 Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon: (The Harp Ribbon is given for being
 able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard
 with tears)

JERI, for "Your Bitter Tears"
MARIO, for  "The Ram who shot Mokhtar Fadl "
TRAPPER, for "Shepherd-Poof Song"
BRADYPUS, for  "Sidi Barani"

Congratulations, Challengers!!  You have Worked Wonders.  :>)

Stay Tuned for our next installment:
 

The Goddess' Return!!!!!

Amos (for Áine)
 
 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Trapper
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:05 AM

==SNIFF!! POUT!!==

What about "Baa Baa Black Sheep" or "I Shot the Shepherd"... ????

- Al

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Hyperabid
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 12:55 PM

Mmm one wonders what happens when the acronym for an award gets longer and longer?

Is a new sub-varient of the English language created?

Will you see people on the street saying "Oi! he's a right gucacawumamamasipis!"

Another conspiracy theory is spawned!

Now it's linguistic terrorism!

(sinister laugh) ha-ha-ha-ho-haha!

Hyper >}:->

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 02:17 PM

Trapper:

The Awards are based rigid criteria acheived only by the best among the excellent, the cream of the crop, top of the line, top-drawer and first-water entries. Even excellent songs, such as the other two you mentioned, cannot all be best. Consider, too, the size of your mantel!! And descend not into lust for your neighbor's award!

As the sole Double Blobber winner named, and the recipient of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon, we believe you have deservedly achieved exalted status in this Challenge and should count your frothy green blessings! :>)

I have it on Good Green Authority that there Shall Be More Challenges....

Warmest regards,

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Hyperabid
Date: 06 Apr 01 - 04:32 AM

Mmmm... I fell the need for another cong challenge...

Help me feed my addiction

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Áine
Date: 06 Jun 01 - 02:57 PM

Just thought you wonderful Challenge!rs would like to know that I've (finally) posted your fantastic Challenge! Part 51 entries to the Song Challenge! Awards page.

Congrats, thanks and cudos to you all! Be sure and check out the 'new look' of the page, AND the two new award categories. And don't forget to look at SONG CHALLENGE! Part 53 . . . or you'll be a monkey's uncle ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 05 Sep 01 - 10:48 AM

Short and (hopefully, mercifully) sweet

While a shepherd watched his flocks by night
All seated on the ground
One of his flock sneaked up on him
And gunned the shepherd down

He thought the threat came from without
But the threat lay deep within
A wolf had crept into the flock
Disguised in a sheepskin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 05 Sep 01 - 11:50 AM

YES!

new christmas carol for my dickon's show!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 08 Sep 01 - 10:29 PM

Baaad Boys Baaaad Boy whatcha gonna do when the come for you.

Can you guess the tune?

Are you sleeping
Are you sleepin
Shepherd Fadl
Shepherd Fadl
I'm stepping on your shotgun
stepping on your shotgun
Bang you're dead
Bang you're dead

Frere Jacques

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 12 Sep 01 - 12:08 AM

I know this challenge is over, but I couldn't resist playing with the theme a little.

Genie (I'm not really a guest, but I did not refresh my cookie tonight.)

While the shepherd slept with his flock by night,

Tune: While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night

While the shepherd slept with his flock by night,
In the desert on the ground.
From the herd there came a single shot
And blood sprayed all around,
And blood sprayed all around.

Poor Mokhtar lay dead amidst his sheep--
Who hath done this deed so foul?
The weapon bore no fingerprints
No clues to who, why, how?
No clues to who, why, how?

Then a small sheep baa-ed sheepishly,
A sweet young ewe named Alice,
"I shot the shepherd whilst he slept,
But I did it with no malice,
I did it with no malice.

The sheriff of Marsa Matrouh
Said "We seldom jail sheep or bisons,
But for you an exception we must make--
Since you had no proper license.
You had no proper license."

So, heed me all ye Bedouins
Who do frolic with the sheepies,
Don't leave the safety off your gun
When you are feeling sleepy,
When you are feeling sleepy!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 12 Sep 01 - 12:17 AM

P.S. When I opened the Song Challenge, I read the theme and then closed the thread while I composed my thread, so as not to be influenced by the others' entries. (Actually, I did browse just enough to note that someone had already taken my initial idea, which was "I Shot The Shepherd," and to jettison that idea because of that.
After composing my bit of doggerel (sheeperel?), I opened the thread and browsed through the first few to see if someone had beaten me to my borrowed song. Not seeing it, I posted mine, then closed and reopened the thread to see if I had finally got the hang of doing line breaks.
To my chagrin, the entry right above mine was a parody on the same song. Not surprising, since we both chose a song about shepherds. But it really was an honest duplication of song choice to parody.

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 01 - 04:18 PM

well - his entry is actually two above yours - but they are very different - and yours is complete.

Also - according to the official rulebook - song Challenge!s never end - they just get longer.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 13 Sep 01 - 03:58 AM

Mmario ...

Sniffing back tears ... he whines "But mine IS complete. It's short, but it's complete!"

I always thought mudcatters would be the sort of folks who thought size doesn't matter!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 13 Sep 01 - 04:06 AM

I agree, Mmario. Yours is plenty long. And a fine one it is.

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: MMario
Date: 13 Sep 01 - 08:53 AM

I am *so* confused.

sorry derrymacash. Bert will tell you - "size doesn't matter"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 13 Sep 01 - 09:00 AM

For some of us, confusion is a permanent state of being.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 51
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 16 Sep 01 - 01:58 AM

Speaking of "incomplete," I thought of another verse which makes my silly song more coherent (relating to more of the theme story), so here is the full, and slightly modified song:
Genie

While the shepherd slept with his flock by night,

Tune: While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night

While the shepherd slept with his flock by night,
In the desert on the ground.
From the herd there came a single shot
And blood sprayed all around,
And blood sprayed all around.

Poor Mokhtar lay dead amidst his sheep-- Who hath done this deed so foul? The weapon bore no fingerprints No clues to who, why, how? No clues to who, why, how?

Then a small sheep baa-ed sheepishly, A sweet young ewe named Alice, "I shot the shepherd whilst he slept, But I did it with no malice, I did it with no malice.

I was dancing 'round amidst the dunes
With my honey lamb, my old Ram, Sam,
When I tripped on Mokhtar's forty-four,
Then all I heard was "Blam! Blam!
Ka-blooey! Blam! Blam! Blam! "

Said the sheriff of Marsa Matrouh
"Well, We seldom jail sheep or bisons,
But of you an example must be made,
Since you had no hunting license.
You shot without a license."

So, heed me all ye Bedouins
Who do frolic with yon sheepies,
Never leave the safety off your gun
When you are feeling sleepy,
When you are feeling sleepy!