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Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe

Son of the Mill 20 Mar 01 - 06:17 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 20 Mar 01 - 06:40 AM
Son of the Mill 20 Mar 01 - 06:44 AM
Son of the Mill 20 Mar 01 - 07:08 AM
Son of the Mill 20 Mar 01 - 07:26 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 20 Mar 01 - 08:15 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 20 Mar 01 - 09:21 AM
LR Mole 20 Mar 01 - 09:51 AM
wysiwyg 20 Mar 01 - 09:56 AM
Son of the Mill 21 Mar 01 - 06:24 AM
GUEST 21 Mar 01 - 07:56 AM
Noreen 21 Mar 01 - 08:05 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 21 Mar 01 - 08:40 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 21 Mar 01 - 09:26 AM
Barbara 21 Mar 01 - 03:50 PM
Son of the Mill 22 Mar 01 - 05:40 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 22 Mar 01 - 05:49 AM
Son of the Mill 23 Mar 01 - 12:09 AM
GUEST,Greyeyes (at work) 23 Mar 01 - 09:00 AM
LR Mole 23 Mar 01 - 11:18 AM
Greyeyes 23 Mar 01 - 04:06 PM
Son of the Mill 26 Mar 01 - 12:05 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 26 Mar 01 - 02:46 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 26 Mar 01 - 08:43 AM
GUEST,_gargoyle 26 Mar 01 - 07:30 PM
Greyeyes 27 Mar 01 - 06:03 PM
GUEST,_gargoyle 28 Mar 01 - 12:31 AM
Greyeyes 28 Mar 01 - 12:35 PM
GUEST,Si Kahn 18 Dec 11 - 01:56 AM
MGM·Lion 18 Dec 11 - 02:40 AM
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Subject: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 06:17 AM

I have been looking for the cod Anglican Sermon by Alan Bennett. This was performed by him on a 60`s show in England called Beyond the Fringe.His co-stars were Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, & Jonathan Miller.I have done a google search & can find all sorts of references to the artists, the show & the sermon, but nowhere can I find the script. Thanks to Joe Offer & chrystaldragon for their input,it has helped me get alittle closer to my goal.It starts, I Think : My brother was a hairy man, but I am a smooth man.It mentions "Life is like a tin of sadines with all of us looking for the key, some of us think we have found that key, so we open the the tin and partake of the contents.But there is allways a bit in the corner that you can`t get at.Is there a little bit in your life that you can`t get at ? I know there is in mine. As I search I remember more. It`s a delightfull monologue. Please help.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 06:40 AM

Both the CD and the paperback text by Alan Bennett are listed on Amazon UK.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 06:44 AM

Roger the skiffler,WELL DONE!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 07:08 AM

Roger the skiffler. Thanks but the cd does not list the sermon & the book is out of print. Am I getting old or are the good old English comedy shows out dated? I hope not.This is a great act as I remember it.If I get it from another source I will post it on Mudcat.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 07:26 AM

refresh


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 08:15 AM

There are two books listed, one is OP but the French's ed which is probably a performance text says available in 24 hrs.
I used to know most of those sketches off by heart but that was 40 years ago!
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:21 AM

Blackwells, Foyles and Waterstones websites also carry the 1990s ed. variously attributed to Bennett or Miller and have availability as 1-2 weeks.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: LR Mole
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:51 AM

II have it on beat-to-death vinyl and I'll transcribe it for you if all else fails.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 01 - 09:56 AM

Mole, can you post the titles of the pieces on your LP?

~S~


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 06:24 AM

refresh


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 07:56 AM

Coincidentally, today's London Guardian newspaper has a readers' offer of the 3-cd set of the complete Beyond the Fringe and specifically mentions "Take a Pew" as being included.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Noreen
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 08:05 AM

The London Guardian, Roger? Would that be a local paper then? :0)

Noreen
whose Guardians are once again compiled and printed in Manchester...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 08:40 AM

I take cognisance of the fact that we are a global Mudcat and place names and newspaper names may be repeated on other continents. It is the London edition I get. ( I am old enough to remember when it was the Manchester Guardian and proud of it).
RtS (pompous old git)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 09:26 AM

Two more online bookstores Heffers and Internet Bookshop (WH Smith) also carry it for around six pounds sterling and 1-2 weeks delivery
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Barbara
Date: 21 Mar 01 - 03:50 PM

Ya, I used to have the vinyl and I used to know some of those by heart, too, even tho I live on this (US) side of the pond.
The one you are seeking begins "Esau was an hairy man, but Jacob was a smoooooth one."
Others included "Why Oi'd Rather Be a Jedge than a Coal Miner" (What, me drop this great 'eavy lump of coal on my foot? You must be out of your......aaaaoohw! Oi say! Oi've dropped this great 'eavy lump of coal on my foot!), The End of the World, Telling off the Boss, what else? I forget.
Blessings,
BArbara, who personally wore down the tracks on my LP to the point where even putting a nickel on the head of the playing arm wouldn't make it intelligible.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 05:40 AM

"Take a Pew"? Is that the name of the monologue?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 05:49 AM

I believe so.
RtS (but the old memory has been faulty before)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 12:09 AM

REF


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Greyeyes (at work)
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:00 AM

Fawlaks, the excellent Music and Drama department of Plymouth Central Library has a copy of the original Samuel french revue script (2nd Ed. 1963). You would be able to request it from your local library via Inter Library Loan. I will post the text of "Take a Pew" here, but I won't have time for a day or so. Bear with me.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: LR Mole
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:18 AM

Ah, good. All else hasn't failed then. I can't find my copy yet, which is hardly surprising given the fact that my boots hide on me some mornings. The search goes on, though.


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Subject: Lyr Add: TAKE A PEW (Bennett / Beyond the Fringe)
From: Greyeyes
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 04:06 PM

I'm afraid my HTML is not up to any more than line breaks. If anyone would like this in Word, PM me your e-mail address.


Beyond the fringe
A REVUE
By
Alan Bennett – Peter Cook – Jonathan Miller – Dudley Moore

Samuel French, Inc.
1964. Additional Material Added to the Second Edition for the 1964 Production.


TAKE A PEW

ALAN BENNETT SOLO

The eleventh verse of the twenty-seventh chapter of the book of Genesis, "But my brother Esau is an hairy man, but I am a smooth man." Perhaps I can paraphrase this, say the same thing in a different way by quoting you some words from the grand old prophet, Nehemiah, Nehemiah seven, sixteen.
And he said unto me, what seest thou
And I said unto him, lo

(He reads the next four lines twice.)

I see the children of Bebai,
Numbering six hundred and seventy-three,
And I see the children of Asgad
Numbering one thousand, four hundred and seventy-four.

There come times in the lives of each and every one of us when we turn aside from our fellows and seek the solitude and tranquillity of our own firesides. When we put up our feet and put on our slippers, and sit and stare into the fire. I wonder at such times whether your thoughts turn, as mine do, to those words I've just read you now.

They are very unique and very special words, words that express as so very few words do that sense of lack that lies at the very heart of modern existence. That – don't – quite – know – what – it - is – but – I'm – not – getting – everything – out – of – life – that - I – should – be – getting sort of feeling. But they are more than this, these words, much, much more – they are in a very real sense a challenge to each and every one of us here tonight. What is that challenge?

As I was on my may here tonight, I arrived at the station, and by an oversight I happened to come out by the way one is supposed to go in, and as I was coming out an employee of the railway company hailed me. "Hey, mate," he shouted, "where do you think you are going?" That at any rate was the gist of what he said. You know, I was grateful to him, because, you see, he put me in mind of the kind of question I felt I ought to be asking you here tonight. Where do you think you're going?

Very many years ago when I was about as old as some of you are now, I went mountain climbing in Scotland with a very dear friend of mine. And there was this mountain, you see, and we decided to climb it. And so, very early one morning, we arose and began to climb. All day we climbed. Up and up and up. Higher and higher and higher. Till the valley lay very small below us, and the mists of the evening began to come down, and the sun to set. And when we reached the summit we sat down to watch this most magnificent sight of the sun going down behind the mountain. And as he watched, my friend very suddenly and violently vomited.

Some of us think Life's a bit like that, don't we? But it isn't. You know, Life – Life, it's rather like opening a tin of sardines. We are all of us looking for the key. Some of us – some of us think we've found the key, don't we? We roll back the lid of the sardine tin of Life, we reveal the sardines, the riches of Life, therein and we get them out, we enjoy them. But, you know, there's always a little piece in the corner you can't get out. I wonder – I wonder, is there a little piece in the corner of your life? I know there is in mine.

So now I draw to a close. I want you when you go out into the world, in times of trouble and sorrow and helplessness and despair amid the hurly-burly of modern life, if ever you're tempted to say, "Oh shove this!" I want you then to remember, for comfort, the words of my first text to you tonight …..
"But my brother Esau is an hairy man, but I am a smooth man."

BLACKOUT


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Son of the Mill
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 12:05 AM

Thanks Greyeyes. Another page is added to the folder.
Cheers.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 02:46 AM

See under "Take a pew" thread for the performed version taken from the live show recording CD which has a lot of differences.
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 08:43 AM

For CD read LP! (HERSELF is always telling me off for saying "records" when I mean CDs!)
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,_gargoyle
Date: 26 Mar 01 - 07:30 PM

Well done - Easily one of their finest pieces.

I was going to browse for the script and them found you had it posted

Once upon a time, we used to do a rip-off (this comes as no surprise to old-time-catters who have read my views on "intellectual property) of their material - most of it is still partially memorized and lurking in the dark- recesses. This is my recollection of one other of the monologues.

"Ahh...yes I could have been a judge, but I never had the Latin. Never had sufficent of it to get beyond the juding exams. They're noted for their rigor you know? Very rigorous exams. People come staggering out saying, "Yee Gads what a rigorous exam!"

"And so I became a minor instead. A coal minor. There exams are not nearly so rigourous. They only ask you one question, "Who are you?" I got 50% on that.

"You know it very interesting work getting ahold of lumps of coal all day. Very interesting. Because the coal was made in a very unusual way. God didn't just say, "Hello, lets have a bit of coal." As could have done, (He has all the right connections you know) Oh, No he didn't do that. Instead he got this huge wind to going, and knocked all of the trees down, and then he turned it into coal, gradually, over a period of three million years.

"But the people at the time did not see it that way. They did not say, "Hurrah, coal in three million years!" No, they said, "Oh, dear, Oh, dear, trees falling on use that is the last thing we want!" And of course their wish was granted.

"You know I am very interested in the universe and all that surrounds it. I am studying Nesbitt's book, "The Universe and All That Surrounds It - An Introduction" He says that we all hurtling towards the sun and will burned up one day. But he does end the book on a postive note....he says, "I hope this will not happen."

"There is not much interest in this sort of thing down in the mines. They are very boring conversationalists. Extreamly boring conversationalists. In fact, if you were to look for a word to describe the conversations that go on down in the mine, boring would spring to your lips. Boring, Boring, Boring, extreamly boreing. If ever you would like to conversations such as, "Hello, I've found a bit of coal." "Have you really?" "Yes, no doubt about it - this black substance is coal alright." Jolly good the very thing we are looking for!"

"Not enough to keep the mind alive is it? So, all in all, I really would have rather become a judge than a miner. Because, as a miner, when you are too old and stupid and clumsy to do the job properly, you are fired: Well the very opposite applies to judging.

Good Day!


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE MINER (Peter Cook / Beyond the Fringe
From: Greyeyes
Date: 27 Mar 01 - 06:03 PM

Well remembered Gargoyle, that's pretty accurate to the original. Here is the slightly revised and expanded text that Cook used in the 1964 production.

Beyond the fringe
A REVUE
By
Alan Bennett – Peter Cook – Jonathan Miller – Dudley Moore

Samuel French, Inc.
1964. Additional Material Added to the Second Edition for the 1964 Production.

THE MINER

PETER COOK SOLO

Yes, I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin. I never had the Latin for the judging. I didn't have sufficient to get through the rigorous judging exams. They're very rigorous, the judging exams. They're noted for their rigor. People come staggering out saying, "My God, what a rigorous exam!" And so I managed to become a miner – a coal miner. I managed to get through the mining exams – they're not very rigorous. They only ask you one question. They say, "Who are you?" And I got 75% on that.... So I was made to feel welcome down there....

But of course, coal is quite an interesting substance created in a most unusual way, because God didn't just say, "Let's have some coal," like he did with some of the other amenities. He went about it in a more roundabout and interesting way – to make the world a bit more interesting for us all. He blew all the trees down. He did – he got a good wind going and blew them all down and then very gradually over a period of three million years, he changed them into coal so it wasn't noticeable to the average passer-by. It was all part of his wonderful over-all scheme – his wonderful longterm plan for the universe. People at the time didn't quite see it that way – people who were standing under the trees. They rather missed the point. And instead of shouting out, "Hurrah, coal in three million years," they tended to exclaim more along the lines of, "oh dear, trees falling on us. That's the last thing we want." And of course, for the most of them it was the last thing they got. So they had no cause to grumble against the deity, God bless him.

But coal is quite interesting so I've written a book about my experiences in the mine. I call it, "My Experiences in the Mine." It's about this man who goes down in the mine and he sees some coal quite near him and he grabs ahold of it and throws it in a trolley and the trolley wheels away down a long dark tunnel and he never sees it again. – That's the story. It's a very short story. It's an extremely short story, but it's also extremely boring. It's amazingly boring. I fell asleep the first time I read it through, it was so boring. I took it along to a publisher and he too said it was very boring. In fact, he said it was one of the most boring stories he had ever read. And he's not a man given to superlatives. He said the main trouble with your story was that it lacks everything. You name it – it lacks it. He said above all, it lacks the sex element – which is so vital to us in these troubled times. Of course, he's quite right. So I've added the sex element. The story's the same except while the mining is going on there are these three nude women who are dancing about – enticingly. These three nude women, Beryl, Stella, and Margaret, have come down in the mine to have a bit of a dance. It's picked it up no end. I can scarcely put it down. That's the wonderful thing about being an author – you can put in as many nude women as you like. My next book is called "A Million Nude Women." It's a mining story. It's about a million nude women – who are wondering about in the desert looking for somewhere to sit down. They wander about the desert for four years. I've called the first chapter "A Fruitless Quest." The nude women wander about the desert for four years until one day, the leader of the nude women, Beryl Whittington spots a disused mine. "C'mon, girls," she shouts, "here is a disused mine at last. Let's all rush down – and dance about." So all the nude ladies rush down the mine and dance about – uninhibitedly. For four days they dance about. It's unparalleled in mining history. On the fourth day, Stella Jarvis, the frailest of the nude ladies, falls to the floor exhausted. She says, "Oh, I'm exhausted." Beryl Whittington, the leader of the nude women, sees the follies of their ways and she shouts out, "C'mon girls, let's all go back to the top to the desert – and wander about." That's where I leave them. I don't quite know what the point is. I think maybe it's the meaninglessness of life or something like that. At least that's what I will tell a policeman should one ever stop me and ask me….

WHOOPS! Did you notice for no apparent reason I went WHOOPS? It's an impediment I picked up from being down in the mine – WHOOPS! Cause one day I was walking along in the dark, WHOOPS! I saw the body of a dead pit pony, - WHOOPS! Unexpectedly. And that's the reason why I couldn't have been a judge. It destroys the dignity of the court, because one day I might have been up there sentencing the criminal away and saying, "I sentence you to WHOOPS!" And you see, under English law, that would have to stand. So all in all I would rather have been a judge than a coal miner, because being a miner, as soon as you get too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go. Well, the very opposite applies with the judges. So all in all I would rather have been a judge than a miner, because I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. I really have – and yet I've got hold of the trappings of great poverty. I've got hold of the wrong load of trappings – and a rotten load of trappings they are too. Ones I could very well do without.

FADE OUT
John Cleese commented in a documentary made just after Cook's death that when Cleese and Chapman were writing most of the Python stuff together it took them about 7 hours work for 3-4 minutes finished material, but it took Peter Cook 3-4 minutes to come up with 3-4 minutes finished material. A very funny man.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,_gargoyle
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 12:31 AM

Ahhh....Yess....

Had completely forgotten the Whoops segment...that was always good for many laughs.

The entire "I've written a book" routine was missing from our purloined material.

THANX...for sharing it.

BTW....how did Peter Cook die?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: Greyeyes
Date: 28 Mar 01 - 12:35 PM

"On the 9th of January 1995 Peter Cook died in the Royal Free Hospital as the result of a gastro-intestinal haemorrhage."

I can recommend this web-site, run by the Peter Cook Appreciation Society. Click here


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: GUEST,Si Kahn
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 01:56 AM

We used to have the recorded version, I think on cassette, but I can't figure out which of the various offerings on Amazon correspond include "Sitting On the Bench" and "Take A Pew." Thanks for any help, Si.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Beyond the Fringe
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 18 Dec 11 - 02:40 AM

I recollect a bit from the "Latin for the judging" sketch which does not appear in the above, something on the lines of [from long-ago memory] ~~

"You've got to have the Latin for the judging. Oh, yes, you can't do without the Latin for the judging. Because otherwise, if the prisoner-at-the-bar should suddenly shout out 'Parse mensa, you old twit', you'd have to set fire to your wig to create a diversion."

Anyone else recall that bit?

~Michael~


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