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BS: Amish virus

Luke 22 Mar 01 - 06:29 AM
Liz the Squeak 22 Mar 01 - 06:05 PM
mousethief 22 Mar 01 - 06:30 PM
aussiebloke 22 Mar 01 - 07:00 PM
guest(intruder-inactive) 23 Mar 01 - 04:40 AM
Grab 23 Mar 01 - 08:52 AM
Jeri 23 Mar 01 - 09:13 AM
John Hardly 23 Mar 01 - 09:15 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 Mar 01 - 10:01 AM
John Hardly 23 Mar 01 - 10:37 AM
Jeri 23 Mar 01 - 11:20 AM
Pseudolus 23 Mar 01 - 04:11 PM
FOG(Friend of Gnome) 24 Mar 01 - 09:06 AM
Jeri 24 Mar 01 - 09:32 AM
aussiebloke 24 Mar 01 - 04:03 PM

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Subject: Amish virus
From: Luke
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 06:29 AM

You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no computers or electricity. You are on the honor system. Send this to everyone on you email list and then delete all data on your hard drive.

Thank Thee,

Luke


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 06:05 PM

Ha ha.... one of the better ones.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 06:30 PM

Didn't we get this a couple of weeks ago?


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: aussiebloke
Date: 22 Mar 01 - 07:00 PM

That's strange, I don't find the Amish Virus listed at the searchable encyclopaedia of real and hoax viruses at the Virus Research Centre.
Must be a joke virus, that Amish one...

cheers

aussiebloke


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: guest(intruder-inactive)
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 04:40 AM

(clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG BANG clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop)


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Grab
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 08:52 AM

Taken from SatireWire, 23Mar2001...

Grab.

FOOT-AND-MOUTH BELIEVED TO BE FIRST VIRUS UNABLE TO SPREAD THROUGH MICROSOFT OUTLOOK Researchers Shocked to Finally Find Virus That Email App Doesn't Like

Atlanta, Ga. (SatireWire.com) — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Symantec's AntiVirus Research Center today confirmed that foot-and-mouth disease cannot be spread by Microsoft's Outlook email application, believed to be the first time the program has ever failed to propagate a major virus. "Frankly, we've never heard of a virus that couldn't spread through Microsoft Outlook, so our findings were, to say the least, unexpected," said Clive Sarnow, director of the CDC's infectious disease unit.

The study was immediately hailed by British officials, who said it will save millions of pounds and thousands of man hours. "Up until now we have, quite naturally, assumed that both foot-and-mouth and mad cow were spread by Microsoft Outlook," said Nick Brown, Britain's Agriculture Minister. "By eliminating it, we can focus our resources elsewhere."

However, researchers in the Netherlands, where foot-and-mouth has recently appeared, said they are not yet prepared to disqualify Outlook, which has been the progenitor of viruses such as "I Love You," "Bubbleboy," "Anna Kournikova," and "Naked Wife," to name but a few.

Said Nils Overmars, director of the Molecular Virology Lab at Leiden University: "It's not that we don't trust the research, it's just that as scientists, we are trained to be skeptical of any finding that flies in the face of established truth. And this one flies in the face like a blind drunk sparrow."

Executives at Microsoft, meanwhile, were equally skeptical, insisting that Outlook's patented Virus Transfer Protocol (VTP) has proven virtually pervious to any virus. The company, however, will issue a free VTP patch if it turns out the application is not vulnerable to foot-and-mouth.

Such an admission would be embarrassing for the software giant, but Symantec virologist Ariel Kologne insisted that no one is more humiliated by the study than she is. "Only last week, I had a reporter ask if the foot-and-mouth virus spreads through Microsoft Outlook, and I told him, 'Doesn't everything?'" she recalled. "Who would've thought?"


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Jeri
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:13 AM

OK, we've heard about this at least a couple of times before.

My question is, if I don't have a computer or electricity, how come I'd have an e-mail list?


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 09:15 AM

even if it had made the rounds a few weeks ago, what could possibly be the reason to point this out, other than to be hurtful?


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:01 AM

I don't understand John. What is hurtful - The virus, the joke or pointing out it has already done the rounds?

The virus won't be hurtful coz it's a joke. The joke won't be coz Amish folks won't read it anyway (and I think they would see the funny side even if they did - anyone looking like ZZ Top must have a sense of humour!). I don't think anyone telling a joke will be offended by people saying they have heard it before so what am I missing?

To coin Robbie Williams (sorry to use such profanities on a folk site;-)) - Is there a tumour in my humour?

We need to know these things!!! If offense is caused we need to know how and why so we can avoid (or repeat) it in future!

Dave the Gnomish


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 10:37 AM

Just an honest inquiry Dave,

Maybe Alex has an ongoing rapport with Luke and they have been back-and-forthing treading on each other's threads.

As a casual observer, however, the act of pointing out Luke's redundancy to the site was really not necessary. If it was a repetition, it may have just died of natural causes, or it might have elicited responses from those who are less frequent visitors---with whom Luke may be able to make connections.

Maybe Alex was the one who started the previous gag, in which case he might tell me that he didn't appreciate his material being take w/out permission.

We're all reaching out in our own way for human connection, companionship, fellowship or we probably wouldn't be here--especially as regards posting BS. Unless Alex' motivations were as I stated above, or some other harmless reason, his post seemed merely aimed at ensuring that not only he, but following thread readers ignore Luke's proffered hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Jeri
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 11:20 AM

He just indicated we'd seen it before - he didn't say anything nasty. I didn't either - just being my typical smart-aleck self. I think you're attributing a lot of motivation to Alex that he didn't have a clue he had.

In any case, if I failed to welcome Luke when he joined in Nov 00, welcome Luke! We, as you have probably noticed, have a fairly easy-going type of conversation, where our comments are taken as being meant in a good-natured way...most of the time...well, some of the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Pseudolus
Date: 23 Mar 01 - 04:11 PM

OK, back to the thread.....hey guestguestguest, was that an Amish drive by shooting I just heard? Thought so...

*g*

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: FOG(Friend of Gnome)
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 09:06 AM

I think I have the Amish virus on my hard drive. Norton Anti Virus just comes up with the following.

Your registry data has been corrupted. Go out, buy a small patch of land, live simply, and get one of those big floppy black hats with the wide brim.

Any advice on how to remove this most pernicious of beasts.

As a true pagan, I am rather worried.


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 09:32 AM

Frank, thanks. I could remember the punch line, but not the joke.

There's the following virus. Yes, I have a big bug up my butt about chain letters. I am a recovering Hoaxaholic, and everyone knows those in recovery are often more - what's the word, "anal?"...no, "energetic" sounds better - than others.

WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser.

The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe forwarded copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.

"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.

"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."

Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true."

It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxes Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.

Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:

--The willingness to believe improbable stories without thinking.
--The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to others.
--A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see if a story is true.

T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.

Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to their favourite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community.


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Subject: RE: BS: Amish virus
From: aussiebloke
Date: 24 Mar 01 - 04:03 PM

Virus hoaxes and chain letters drive me bananas - and I feel a moral obligation to debunk them or ignore them on every occasion - anything but pass them on. I got a classic of the genre recently, from a newbie who became sufficiently anxious that he retyped pages and pages of the nonsense, poor feller - I tried to let him down gently, and he appreciated the information - but not all who get similar feedback take it so graciously. Some folks seems to thinks that they are saving me from the boogie-man, and are dissapointed that I no longer believe in him/her/it.

If you feel moved to forward 'to every one on your list' every breathless hoax and chain-letter that lands in your e-mail box - you may have Compulsive Forwarding Syndrome - therapy is available.

The particular hoax I recieved mentioned not just one big bad nasty virus - it had a mish-mash of numerous hoaxes and infoblah about some real viruses all rolled into one...

If you get a virus hoax, you might consider returning to the sender something like the guff below - with the suggestion that they forward similar debunking and empowering info - and a 'virus hoax retraction notice' to every one on THEIR bloody list.



Dear "insert name of person who sent you the hoax"

While I appreciate all the trouble that you have gone to in forwarding this information about viruses (?virii), sorry to inform you that you have been the victim of a hoax. There are dozens of these hoaxes that circulate, and they do worry people... Virus hoaxes are really interesting in themselves - part of email & internet culture.

I've taken the opportunity to do some current virus research based on this list - below are the findings and some comments about hoaxes, viruses and the world in general. Hope this is of some interest to you.

Of the viruses (with repeats) mentioned - it appears that only five (5) are real viruses, 20 or so are hoaxes. Some of the names are very close to the names of real viruses. It is a great letter, a classic of the hoax genre, but not a scholarly work.

Here is a reference to the letter you retyped. http://www.stiller.com/perrin.htm

The best thing to do when you get a hysterical warning about this-or-that virus is to just ignore it, or if you are keen to check to see whether it really exists or not at a reputable virus information site - I use and recommend: http://www.symantec.com/ or http://www.datafellows.com/

They each have an on-line encyclopaedia of viruses, and if between them they don't list the virus, it probably doesn't exist. I ran each of the virus names through the search function at both sites.

They both list perrin.exe as essentially a hoax.

Datafellows offer a FREEBIE download of f-prot (a virus checker) and regular virus free definition updates.
Symantec offers the service of doing a FREEBIE live scan of your hard-drive looking for viruses and trojan horses.



>>>Please, send this information to every person in your address book!!!!!!
Anything that says 'please send this to everyone in your address book' is usually a hoax, written in the breathless and hysterical language of an excitable 14 year old, the usually excessive number of exclamation marks are also a bit of a giveaway.

>>>If you receive an e-mail that reads "Upgrade Internet" do not open it, as it contains an executable file named "perrin.exe" it will erase all the data in your hard drive and it will stay in your memory.
All hoaxes use big big threats, or does 'stay in your memory' that mean that I won't forget the event?

>>>Every time that you upload any data, that data will be automatically erased and you will not be able to use your computer again.
Not even as a paperweight?

>>>This information was published yesterday in the CNN site.
Hoaxers quote 'pseudo-respectable' 'recognise-the-brand-name' type sources - I have searched the CNN web site, they don't mention the perrin.exe virus.

>>>This is a very dangerous virus.
Oooh, be scared... Hoaxers want to scare you...
This is not just a dangerous virus, but a very dangerous virus - the difference being?

>>>To this date. There is no known antivirus program for this particular virus please, forward this information to your friends, so that they will be on the alert, also check the list below, sent by IBM with the names of some e-mails that, if received. SHOULD NOT BE OPENED and must be deleted immediately. Because they contain attached viruses.
Again the use of a reputable source to give credibility to the hoax.
There's that 'recognise-the-brand-name' - IBM this time.
I searched the IBM site - no reference to perrin.exe
Isn't the grammar spectacular?

>>>This way your computer will be safe.
I keep my computer safe by locking the front door when I go out, but seriously folks...



Virus Prevention, as described by Symantec
Never open email from people who you don't recognize, and download only from sources with which you are familiar. Scan all email attachments and downloads before opening them. And, since new viruses are created daily, update your virus definitions frequently.

This is what I do with attachments...
If I get an attachment sent to me - word *.doc, excel spreadsheet *.xls, *.gif, *.jpg, especially *.exe or *.vbs or whatever, I move the file from the e-mail system, (either Outlook Express or Hotmail), to the desktop WITHOUT opening it, and I don't double-click it to open it until I have run my virus checker over it - even if it comes from a friend or a so-called reputable source. I've found virii from mates and from other sources by this method. If the document scans as having a virus I just drop it in the bin, and give feedback to the sender.



The hoax then went on and on and listed a heap of virussy sounding names...
I did a search for each of these so-called viruses at the two virus info sites:

1) buddylst.exe
Symantec: not listed
Datafellows: hoax

2) calcul8r.exe
Symantec: not listed
Datafellows: not listed

3) deathpr.exe
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: not listed

4) einstein.exe
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: not listed

5) happ.exe
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: not listed

6) girls.exe
Symantec: possible name for the hybris worm virus
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/sonic.shtml
Datafellows: possible name for the hybris worm virus

7) happy99.exe
Genuine Trojan!
Info here:
http://www.stiller.com/happy99.htm
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/happy99.worm.html

8) japanese.exe
Symantec: close, it lists Japanese Xmas, but not japanese.exe
as a Non-resident COM-files virus
Datafellows: hoax

9) keypress.exe
Genuine virus!
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: Resident COM/EXE-files
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/keypress.shtml

10) kitty.exe
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: close again...
lists kit.exe as a virus, not kitty.exe

11) monday.exe
Symantec:
Datafellows: lists one called Monday 1st -
a rare Russian nuisance virus
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/beware.shtml

12) teletubb.exe
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: not listed

13) The Phantom Menace
Symantec: hoax
Datafellows: lists a Phantom, not Phantom Menace virus.

14) prettypark.exe
Worm virus!
Symantec:
http://www.symantec.com/ns-search/techsupp/bulletin/archive/nav/0699navspc1.html?NS-search-set=/3a891/aaac7aidm8912d0&NS-doc-offset=12

Datafellows:
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/prettyp.shtml

15) UP-GRADE INTERNET
Very current - travels in a picture of Anna Kournikova
filename: AnnaKournikova.jpg.vbs
Symantec: http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/venc/data/vbs.sst@mm.html
Datafellows: not listed

16) perrin.exe
Symantec: no listing
Datafellows: no listing

17) I love You
Genuine VBScript Worm!
Info here:
http://www.stiller.com/lovelet.htm
Datafellows:
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/love.shtml

18) Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Symantec: not listed
Datafellows: not listed
Is this the hahaha virus now doing the rounds?

19) CELCOM Screen Saver or CELSAVER.EX
Symantec: not listed
Datafellows: not listed

20) Win a Holiday (e-mail)
Symantec: not listed as win a holiday, just 'holiday'
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/cgi-bin/virauto.cgi?vid=3282
Datafellows: not listed

21) JOIN THE CREW 0 PENPALS Subject: Virus
Symantec: 'Crew' virus is listed, not 'join the crew'
Datafellows: hoax
http://www.europe.f-secure.com/v-descs/jtcrew.shtml

As if the endless list of hoax and real viruses wasn't enough, this hoax went on and on...

>>>Announced by Microsoft
There's that reference to an 'authority'

>>>This is VERY SERIOUS!! Please forward to everyone you know.
There's that phrase again...

>>>There is a virus out flow being sent to peopIe via E-mail. lt is considered the A.l.D.S. VIRUS of computers. It will destroy your memory, sound card and speakers, your drive and it will infect your mouse or pointing device as well as your keyboards, making it so that you can't type and it will not register on the screen. It seIf-terminates onIy after it eats 5MB of hard drive space and will delete all programs.
Ah sure, and it will make my ice-cream go all squishy.


>>>It will come via an E-mail called "(OPEN. VERY COOL!:)"
Very cool not listed anywhere.

>>>Pass it on QUICKLY AND TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE.
Classic ingredient of the hoax...

>>>Very Urgent-Must Read
Sure...

>>>Please. If you receive an E-mail Titled Win A Holiday' DO NOT open it. >It wilI erase everything on your hard drive.
OK - now I'm really scared...

>>>Forward this letter out to as many people as you can.
Nope, they deserve better information than this nonsense.

>>>This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it.
Oo-ooh a 'secret virus?'

>>>This information was announced yesterday morning from Microsoft.
Reference to authority again.

>>>Niel Ferrick
Izzat how you spell Neil? I know Niel - he doesn't work there...

>>>Compaq Computer Corporation
Reference to authority again.


So how come, when you actually go to the trouble of looking on the Microsoft, , Compaq, IBM websites they each know nothing about most of this stuff? Cos it simply isn't true. Mostly it is a hoax.

While some of the names above may be actual viruses, what is the purpose of circulating or reading an inaccurate and incomplete partial list out of the 53 000 known viruses - you gonna start writing them down?

Take universal precautions against all viruses at all times, and you can't go wrong. When any disc is handed to you - think virus. If you download a file from the net - think virus. Use your virus checker with up to date definitions on any floppy disc, and on any other incoming file - particularly from an unknown email sender.

Quarantine and check files before opening - even from known sources.

Or, to figure out when to run a virus checker, think of it this way: at what point do you put the condom on?
The night before is a bit keen - the morning after and you are a bit late...

cheers

aussiebloke


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