BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!

Subject: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laughs!
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 02:13 PM

Some of you may have heard me read my Granddad's Poem, "To Camp Out Right" in which he bemoans the city slickers who have to be told not to litter, etc. If he were alive, today, and read the following, I am sure he'd have much more to say!

These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:

"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."

"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."

"Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."

"Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands."

"Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals."

"All the mile markers are missing this year."

"Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse."

"Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."

"Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests."

"Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow in the winter."

"Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."

"The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."

"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights."

"Need more signs to keep area pristine."

"A McDonald's would be nice at the trail head."

"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."

"Too many rocks in the mountains."

Subject: RE: Tune Add: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laug
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

SORRY, I CHECKED BS...will ask Joe to change it!!

Subject: RE: Tune Add: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laug
From: Sorcha
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 02:31 PM

At the Grand Canyon--"Where are the 4 faces?"
"Are the dangerous animals fenced in?"

Subject: RE: Tune Add: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laug
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 04:48 PM

Here's a Jon Campbell lyric could as easily apply (mostly) to any campground
WINNEBECOME WINEBAGO
I Every summer they flock to the beaches and the docks.
They got brown nylon sandals and black nylon socks.
The got a red peeling nose and synthetic clothes
And from June to September, it's anything goes

Where's my "flip flops" where's the gift shop?

ARE YOU FEELING SAD?

Winnebacome, winnebago,
Clamcakes and chowder and "Stuffies" to go.

There's a slick on the bay of "Bain de Soleil"
and Labor Day Weekend is light years away.

II They're out fishing for "Flats" (flatfish-flounders) wearing "Budweiser" hats,
They've got a new "Boston Whaler" with a cooler in the back
They go out for a spin, all loaded on gin
Get stuck hard aground 'till the tide comes back in.

There'll be gridlock at the town dock

\ARE YOU FEELIN' SAD

It's Winnebacome, winnebago, no place to park anyplace that you go
There's a squid in the sink, the T.V.'s on the blink.
There's a bucket of crabs that's beginning to stink.

When the flea bites, jellyfish sting

ARE YOU FEELING SAD?

See a mobster eat a lobster
ARE YOU FEELING SAD ?

III They got sand in their eyes and a burn on their thighs
The last tuna "Grinder" (Rhode Islandese for "hero sandwich") is covered with flies.
So let's count license plates from the midwestern states
After Labor Day weekend, things will get straight.

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: katlaughing
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 05:56 PM

LOL, thanks, Jody! When we lived in Mystic, we ventured over your way a very few times during the tourist season...oh my gawd! Wall-to-wall...of course Mystic was as bad. My daughter bought me a bumper sticker that said "Don't ticket me, I live here!"

Good ones, Sorcha!

One of the original ones, in my family, was told by my grandmother. Her back East relatives came out on the train to visit her in Boulder, Colorado. When they got there, they looked around with big eyes and asked in frightened voices where all of the Indians were. Playing along, she raised her eyebrows and whispered conspiratorially..."They are all hiding behind the rocks and trees!" By that time, of course, the area was considered fairly *civilised* so she had a good laugh over them.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: mousethief
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 05:59 PM

Kat, love your story. When I was a kid, we'd have people come from "back east" to visit Seattle, and be genuinely surprised that we didn't have mud streets and wooden sidewalks like on "Here Come the Brides."

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: kendall
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 06:02 PM

How about the woman who called the Dept. of Wildlife and demanded they remove the "Deer Crossing" sign. She said that too many were being hit by cars there!

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 06:08 PM

A friend and I were hiking below Cumberland Falls. Its a beautiful place, massive rocks and pretty formations, heavy woods........simply lovely. We had followed the ridgeline down several miles, worked down to the river and were almost back to the falls and both of us had been on a high that natural things can give you. We got back to the more "touristy" section just below the falls and met a couple with 2 kids standing by a rock. The woman, dressed like Peg Bundy said, "Hey...Is there anything down that way besides more rocks?" My friend Matt was quick that day and replied, "Yeah......about 30 miles down you come to a bluff with a McDonald's on top."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: GUEST,Bruce O.
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 06:31 PM

I remember once at the start of a climb on Mt. Ranier, seeing the ladies in their open-toed shoes coming down the trail shivering, and their toes all blue. They hadn't really gotten very far before they found out what a real mountain was like.

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: Morticia
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 08:06 PM

LOL Kat.....the Penine Way in the North of England is almost paved with pubs so NO PROBLEM!!*BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: Callie
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 09:05 PM

STOP IT GUYS!!! My boss thinks that I'm laughing out loud because I'm on the internet and not working!!

Subject: RE: BS: Silly Campers' Comments - Good laugh!
From: GUEST,From Canada
Date: 03 Apr 01 - 09:24 PM

Now you know the questions we get in Canada from you-know-whos (with apologies to another popular thread.)

Is that an electric car? It has a plug sticking out the front of it.

What do you feed your dog-sled team?

How do you keep your house warm?

Are you the governor of your providence?

Oh, I know a guy in Winnipeg. You must know him too!