99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Dave(busta) nutt
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 03:03 AM

All Valid points! Still, my guitar gently weeps... If your're a women guitar player, I'd say 99% of the reasons guitars are better than women are the same as the 99 reasons guitars are better than men. Jokes are life's representations given to you. How you deal with them is ALL about PERSPECTIVE. Or perhaps look at it from one of any other perspctive your focused on:

Live and let live,

Open your heart,and share those feelings . tough but...(IMPORTANT)

Let others share their's without interruption or judgment

Carpe Diem,( sieze the day) More importantly, the moment!

Find a job wher you can... WORK like you don't need the money..

LOVE... Like you've never been hurt.

And DANCE like no one is watchin (it's the MOST fun for me). busta MY first visit to this site, which I think is GREAT! Thanks ya'll Bustaone

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Benjamin
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:21 AM

Carol, I talk some friends about the "dreamy eyed image." Your sure right about the hormones though.

Caitrin, what if I want a gorgeous and intelligent (I'm not sure I care for "bouncy")? What can achieve that? As for dreamy eyed guitar playing snobs, If I ever achieve the "dreamy eyed image," I'll try to be different.
As for guys, maybe you should have them try your cookies. I've heard they're good! A hot girl with good cookies has a LOT of power! Believe me! Can I have one?

DM, I just performed Dowland a couple weeks ago! Dowland is a fun composer to play. I play Queen Elizabeth's Galliard and Come Away. Both wonderful pieces. I'll more soon! BMW

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 25 Apr 01 - 11:41 AM

When you buy them a gig bag they don't say: "Does my lower bout look big in this?"
RtS (did I get the terms right?)

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Chris
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 07:18 PM

I've got a guitar called Martin and it's true love. One day we may go our ways, Martin to his new love and me to mine. Maybe I'll find another Martin or maybe an Armstrong or - who knows ?? - easy to pickup whichever way.

One thing I do know, It'll not want the house, the car, half the cat, and five hundred quid a month for the next ten years.

As for the wife....!!!

Yes, I truly love my guitar !

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Matt_R
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 05:53 PM

That isn't the Harmonica Lewinsky one, is it, Jez?

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 01:30 PM

GO on then LittleHawk. I dare you. Start the one bout Bill Clinton, but I'm English n wouldn't ave a clue!!!!

Emma xxx

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:39 AM

*snickers* Oy Jesus...

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,_gargoyle
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 09:34 AM

When the G-String on the Guitar breaks

Things get hard.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Apr 01 - 12:45 AM

LOL, Gringo!

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Matt_R
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 09:35 PM

Breakfast in bed? Drinking with the lads?? CUDDLING AND NIGHT???? What are these strange things upon which you speak?

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,el Gringo veijo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 09:17 PM

WANTED,GOOD LOOKING GIRL WITH JOB AND GUITAR. OBJECTIVE, ROMANCE!

SEND PICTURE OF GUITAR AND JOB RESUME TO BR549.COM

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 04:54 PM

My daughter has a girlfriend named Taylor, but she's only about 14 years old -- I wouldn't let a dirty old man like you, Kendall, within 100 yards of her.

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: kendall
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 03:30 PM

Matt, you have given me something to think about. Maybe if I find a woman named Taylor model 810 we would be a match?

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 02:25 PM

Ferrara, there's a Chicago candy company half named after you! I'll be you already knew that, though.

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Ferrara
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 02:23 PM

Guest, I loved your 12 reasons a guitar and a woman are alike. LOL.

There's a 1940's song called "My Guitar is My Sweetheart," where guitar is pronounced "GEE-tar." I'll post what I remember in another thread, if I can't find the whole song. For some reason I've been trying to remember the words lately anyway.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:54 PM

Go for it, LH!

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:47 PM

No it is quite true. It can be very rare, but you may get to see this rare occurance one day...........

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:47 PM

Emma - I think breakfast in bed is a silly idea. I much prefer to have breakfast after I have washed, brushed my teeth, dressed, and generally woken up.

I don't go out "drinking with the lads".

However, the thing about cuddling up at night, I can relate to.

So...you got one out of three, which is better than none at all.

- LH

Now give it up, or I will launch a thread on "6 reasons why Bill Clinton is better than hemmorhoids".

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:38 PM

I've never had a woman make me breakfast in bed. Or bring me, in bed, breakfast she had made elsewhere. I've heard about this thing, but never experienced it. I think it's a myth.

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:33 PM

Who had to bring this oen up again? Shall we let it die AGAIN? J

Just answer me one thing boys, Is a guitar really as nice to cuddle up to at nite as a woman is? Will a guitar make you breakfast in bed? Will it pick you up when you've been on a nite out drinking with the lads...........................................?

I rest my case*grin*

Emma xxx

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 01:24 PM

Guitars can't forge your signature on a credit card application form - not a first hand personal experience, but one I've seen.

Guitars don't tell you how to drive.

Guitars don't need the lavatory seat left down for them.

Guitars don't object to your attentions after the first year's practice and then suddenly demand it after 20 when you've lost interest.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:38 PM

Well, I DO play "Flow My Tears" on classical guitar...

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: DancingMom
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:36 PM

This girl would LOVE for you to play John Dowland!

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:35 PM

LH! TJ isn't my Dad! But my Dad did used to work with him.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM

Not this stupid thread...Yech! I thought it had died.

Oh well, at least your father gave you some good words there, Matt. I hope it turns out that way for you someday. Me, I have the gravest suspicions about the institution of marriage, but some people, like Spaw, seem to be very happy in it, which is hopeful.

Guitars are neither better nor worse than girls. They just are. Girls are more complicated, however, and not nearly as easy to learn to "play", in a general sense of the word.

Not that guitars are all that easy either...

- LH

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Margo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:29 PM

So Matt, it looks like we were thinking along the same lines!! Margo

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Margo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:27 PM

So Matt, it looks like we were thinking along the same lines!! Margo

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Margo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:25 PM

I can't believe anyone would take this thread seriously )hence my prior post). It really ought to be reasons why a guitar is like a woman; the enjoyment you get from the playing , strumming, etc... Margo

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:23 PM

I had an older friend (TJ) who used to tell me "Matt, a guitar is like your wife...the way she feels in your arms is perfect, and no other woman could ever replace that feeling. Treat her with respect and care and love, and you will be happy forever."

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Margo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 12:19 PM

I can't believe anyone would take this thread seriously )hence my prior post). It really ought to be reasons why a guitar is like a woman; the enjoyment you get from the playing , strumming, etc... Margo

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 11:01 AM

The only thing I attract is dust with my collection of British indie band songs! Tunes about disgusting apartments, revolutions, suburban life in England, British football heroes, obsession with large women, cold Scottish winters, and getting one's self arrested are not usual crowd-happy fare...

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Caitrin
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 10:46 AM

See, it all depends on what sort of girls you're trying to attract. If you want gorgeous bouncy girls, go out and learn some Dave Matthews. It makes you look deep. If you want intelligent women, play what you like, play it well, above all play it like you enjoy it, and they will come.
I find the dreamy-eyed look rather pretentious and annoying, m'self. I've known too many dreamy-eyed arrogant SOB guitarists.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 03:58 AM

What has performance come to when people care more about how well you look than how well you play? Oh well. Dreamy Eyed image, here I come!

I just saw this for the first time.

Benjamin, t'was ever thus. It's called 'hormones'. They're powerful stuff.

I don't think I can help you much with the 'dreamy-eyed look' from where I am. Do you have any female friends about your age who would be willing to give you some pointers? Anyway, good luck with it.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Bugsy
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 03:52 AM

If you can think of 99 reasons Guitars are better than women........Well, you don't get out enough!!

Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Margo
Date: 23 Apr 01 - 02:58 AM

Because you can use them like this: home decor

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Benjamin
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 09:59 PM

Alex,

Sorry, I knew you were joking. I guess I didn't make that clear. Don't feel bad! A good parent would never mean anything like that. We all know you care about your daughters.

Villa-Lobos might do it. But that dreamy eyed thing probably would help! You'll need to work with me on that! What has performance come to when people care more about how well you look than how well you play? Oh well. Dreamy Eyed image, here I come!

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Caitrin
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 07:46 PM

*grins* Guitars are definitely better than guys, at least in my (rather limited) experience. They don't cheat on you, lie to you, or dump you, for instance.
Not that there aren't perfectly wonderful guys out there, I'm sure...I'm just feeling cynical at the moment and liking my Alvarez much better than my ex-boyfriend.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Luke
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 06:03 PM

I find that guitars and girls have nothing in common what so ever. Neither is there any comparison between woman and guitars. I personally could not stand to be with a woman who just layed around all day waiting to be plucked. Guitars must be handled to really find their true merits. While a great woman is something to behold from every aspect. She doesn't need your help when it comes to blowing your mind into next week. Guitar is sort of a romantic science. Physical yes but somewhat removed from the activities possible a woman. Guitars have a beautiful shape they are warm and sensual but THEY are woody. Which is why I always sort of thought of guitars as masculine. Thats rather opposite than what is expressed herebefore. But I never found a guitar that could replace a real good friend of any gender.

Am I old fashioned,

Luke

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Willie-O
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:46 AM

Hyperbolic or not, I'm starting to feel agreement with mousethief and midchuck on that teenagers point...

Sure hope she (my teenager) can start using her talent to pull her own weight a bit. LWe know she is capable of terribly clever sarcasm, but it gets wearisome rather quickly. Results partly of being raised on "The Simpsons" and exposed to my own acerbic wit...and I guess your beloved offspring have had the same kind of cultural context eh mouse & mid!

At the same time though, if you focus on "worthless" that is what you will get. I'm trying to see the good qualities, which other people keep mentioning to me...

W-O

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Midchuck
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 09:46 AM

Don't pick on mousethief. It's true. Most teenagers of both sexes go through a period of being worthless. Mine lasted a good 10 or 15 years. In most cases, it's temporary. But aren't most of the world's problems due to people who got stuck in that developmental stage?

Peter.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 04:49 AM

Liz! Good to see you on your toes again!

Guitars can't run out in the middle of the night to get you cough syrup if you're feeling like warmed-over death.

Or is this the wrong thread for that?

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 04:43 AM

Guitars don't leave a wet patch....

LTS

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: mousethief
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 04:15 AM

No that is not what I think of my daughters. It was a joke. Hyperbole.

I obviously ruffled a few feathers with that one. It was obviously ill-conceived. I apologize.

Alex

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:54 AM

Actually, Benjamin, you'd be surprised. I recently attended a performance in a coffee shop given by a young man who was studying classical guitar at University. He played a lot of different kinds of stuff, and he did one solo piece by Heitor Villa-Lobos. Certainly not in the same league as Dave Mathews.

He had plenty of attractive and admiring young women around him. Of course, he wasn't too hard on the eyes, either. Maybe you just haven't captured the right sort of dreamy-eyed look that you need to have when you're playing in order to get their attention.

Dreamy-eyed is good. Whatever you're playing. I promise.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Benjamin
Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:21 AM

Alex,

So that's really what you think of your daughters? I wouldn't know if that's true. I haven't met them.

As for girls and guitars. The trick is to play Ben Harper and Dave Mathews and other popular stuff people listen to these days that I've never heard of. I don't know any of it, but I see it work for my friends. Girls apparently have no interest in John Dowland or Tárrega. It's a shame!

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: kendall
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:29 PM

They dont complain if you give them to UPS for rough handling. They dont mind if they end up with a crack in their face. DAMN UPS!

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:35 PM

They never complain when you lock them in a case

They don't mind if you spill beer on them

It's OK to loan them to your best friend as long as you can watch

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: jeepman (inactive)
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:37 PM

Guitars do not know what a "Relationship" is any more than I do . Jman

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Dharmabum
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:41 PM

Ebbie, I like yours alot. Having been married twice (& failing twice)it really hits home.

Though in all fairness,I was no prize for my wives at times either.

And here's a freebie for the girls side: A guitar will never throw the blankets over your head after cutting one loose.

DB. heyit'saguything&wecan'thelpitwe'rejustpigs.

Subject: RE: 99 Reasons Guitars Are Better Than Girls
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:32 PM

This reminds me of the time I played music in a park in Hawaii, and there were these drunk and rowdy guys who kept requesting Dylan songs (fortunately I knew plenty), and then the sun began to set and was it ever gorgeous, and while they were momentarily distracted I slipped away and had a very nice rest in my tent, while the park security threatened to throw the other fellas out. They did finally shut up.

- LH