BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!

Subject: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:17 PM

WELL, HERE IT IS GIRLS, I DON'T THINK THER'S ANY HARM IN A BIT OF HARMLESS SEXIST FUN, BEING ONE FOR EQUALITY MYSELF. HENCE THIS THREAD, NOW WE'RE EQUAL!!

1) *****GUITARS DON'T SNORE!!!!!****** 2)THEY DON'T PULL ALL THE BED COVERS OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN IT'S BLOODY FREEZING!!

WELL, I'VE STARTED, ANYONE WANT TO CARRY ON.........

EMMA

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:24 PM

Well, I play the accordion myself.

...reasons why accordions are better than men. Hmmm....

Nope can't think of any. Accordions are exactly like men.

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:25 PM

Oh, for heaven's sake...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:30 PM

What do you mean for heavens sake. It's only a bit of fun!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:36 PM

Yeah, I know, JeZeBel...that's okay. It was just one of those kind of (laugh, shake head ruefully, do I really want to get into this today...naw...) :-)

I am tempted now to start a thread called: "BS: 500 reasons sex is better than the Internet".

Check out my post on the guitars and girls one.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:41 PM

Not sure they are Emma- now saxophones that's a different matter!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:53 PM

I think you're onto something, Mrs. Duck!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Bert
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 03:56 PM

Come on girls, you've gotta do better than that. Only TWO reasons so far.

Bert, who's not THAT good.

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:17 PM

I have checked out your thread little hawk. Did you not read my message at the end? I'm sorry about that earlier. Yeah, if anyone want's to know where this stemmed from see the thread on guitars better than girls.

Ok, some more hmmmmm........

3) Guitars don't complain when you turn the tv over.

4) Guitars are more beautiful than men.

5) Guitars don't ask where their dinner is as soon as you walk in from work!!

6) Guitars don't moan when you won't make love to them every night of the week.

Come on girls, there's loads.....use your brain power!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:26 PM

Why would you turn the TV over? I can understand ripping out the picture tube and turning it into a terrarium...but why turn it over? They're ugly enough standing on their feet if you ask me! :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: CarolC
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:30 PM

Reasons accordions and men are the same...

If you squeeze them hard enough, they make noise.

They vibrate when they toot.

If you're not careful, they'll pinch your breast.

They can give a woman a bad reputation.

They can give a woman great pleasure.

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:31 PM

hehehehehehehehe........would you like it a little simpler then....

Revision girls.....

Guitars don't complain when you turn the tv channel over!!

Thank you little hawk.........

7) guitars don't complain when you want to go out on a "girlie" night out.

8) Guitars don't complain when you talk to another male!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:33 PM

I like those ones. Thanx carol.

I won't go on to the subject of Bodhrans!!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:35 PM

Reason # 100. Guitars are better than men because when you bash a guitar it gives you instantaneous feedback that perhaps bashing it was not the best possible applied thought under the circumstances.

Boy that was a quick list!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:38 PM

Thats not fair.......... we need at least another 80!!

Guitars don't complain when you hit them.....hehehehehe!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:44 PM

Where I come from we call that "changing the channel." Must be different over in -- where did you say you were from, Jez?

Also don't you mean they don't complain when you're talking to another GUITAR? You're mixing your metaphors.

Okay, to prove I'm a liberated male (aka wuss), I'll add some sterno to this fire:

Guitars never insist on watching the football game on your anniversary.

Guitars never crane their necks to look at other women.

Guitars never make comments about your fat butt.

There. I've done my bit for the revolution.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:50 PM

Nope I meant they don't complain when you talk to another man.

I'm from yorkshire, so we don't technically have any such grammatical structures. It's changing the channel here too sometimes...

Thank you for those ones I forgot about some of them!!

Cheers alex, you are a kind male to have put those posts. Ok, you're a wuss!!

Emma xxx

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Bert
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:57 PM

What do you mean "he's kind"! He just said you have a fat butt!!!

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:00 PM

And how would he know?????? I think he was generalizing.

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:36 PM

I would never generalize. I just meant that some men make comments about their wife's backside, saying that it is fat. A guitar would never say such a thing.

A guitar isn't a male, so it can't be jealous of OTHER males, Jez. I could be jealous of other guitars, just as a man can be jealous of other men. This would be the appropriate parallelism, I'm thinking. But a guitar can't be jealous of other males. That's silly.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:39 PM

Sorry, I feel verrrrrry tiny now, smaller than a flee....but I am from yorkshire and u know how we're renound for being simple folk, I'm a student aswell, does that make me twice as bad?

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:41 PM

Don't feel tiny. You're a giant in your own way. We tend to pick nits around here concerning things like grammar and spelling, and you can't let it get to you. Nobody means anything by it except as a friendly sort of ribbing.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:44 PM

I just wish I could retaliate...now if it was french or spanish grammar then that would be a different kettle of fish, I could retaliate till the cows come home. :)

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:46 PM

Would the cows make you stop?

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Philibuster
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:47 PM

Ahhh...blessed Karma.

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:48 PM

Is this a religious thread now?

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:50 PM

Guitars would never say that teenage daughters are worthless.
LL

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:52 PM

no I don't think they would. What is it with strange phrases like that anyway, and ... a kettle of fish .... who'd want to put fish in a kettle anyway.......?

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Matt_R
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:52 PM

Nobody cries when a man gets destroyed.

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:53 PM

Hey, LL, if you have a problem with me, take it up in a PM. Obviously you don't get my sense of humor. I'm not giving lessons, but maybe somebody else can point you to a learn-to-understand-humor class in your locale.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: mousethief
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:56 PM

Oooh, Matt, very deep. Reminds me of a thing I heard about a convention of feminists that complained about a line in a movie, "Women: you can't live with them, you can't kill them."

As it turns out, in that movie, before that line is said, ten men are brutally murdered. No women die in the whole film.

But they condemned the whole movie because of that one sentence, and failed to notice or comment upon the wholesale destruction of male life.

Extremist Feminists. Can't live with 'em, but you can live without 'em.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: Philibuster
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:56 PM

Guitars don't post sardonic comments due to insomnia that get blown out of proportion.

Subject: RE: BS: 100 REASONS GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN MEN!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:04 PM

That is very true.

Matt_R - I have to say that is a very deep and serious one. I have cried at many a man having been destroyed, whether it is emotionally or physically. The destruction of life is nothing to laugh about. I just wish the girls I used to live with in Newcastle would have understood that rather than making sick jokes at the expense of a dear friend of mine who was murdered on good friday last year.