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BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men
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Subject: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:46 PM 1) Chocolate is nice!! 2) You can have an orgasm from eating chocolate, you can't get one from a man!! Sorry it's harsh I know.... 3) Chocolate is cheap!! 1 reason chocolate is bad.....it makes you fat. Anything to add little hawk? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:48 PM Harsh and wrong. I've known a lot of cheap men. Women too. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: MMario Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:48 PM chocolate doesn't make you fat. it's what you eat with or in addition to the chocolate that makes you fat. However - chocolate is actually an addictive substance - more so then some drugs that are rigourously controlled. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Murray MacLeod Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:50 PM I wonder if Marianne Faithfull could contribute a few reasons ........ Murray |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:51 PM Sorry alex, It was a cheap shot really. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM Sure... 4. Chocolate doesn't vote Republican. 5. Chocolate doesn't surf the Net endlessly. 6. Chocolate doesn't say things like "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em". 7. Chocolate doesn't channel-surf. 8. Chocolate doesn't leave the lid up. 9. Chocolate doesn't cut you off in traffic. 10. Chocolate doesn't quote hockey statistics endlessly. Okay. That's it. This thread is now officially retired. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Bert Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:00 PM Ah, but chocolate goes soft quicker! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:02 PM Hmmm, depends if it's been in the fridge!!!!!! Sorry little hawk but I think it has carried on a bit!! :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:03 PM Hmmm, depends if it's been in the fridge!!!!!! Sorry little hawk but I think it has carried on a bit!! :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:24 PM Hey, *I* don't quote hockey statistics at all. I don't even KNOW any hockey statistics. From http://www.wam.umd.edu/~kdryden/Nutrition.html: [Chocolate] contains stimulants theobromine, caffeine, phenylethylamine, and Anandamide. Theobromine is extracted for use in certian drugs. This is the stimulant lethal to dogs because it stimultes the cardiac muscle and central nervous system. Only 2 ounces can be poisonous for a 10 lb pup! 1 ounce of dark chocolate has about 5-10 mg of caffeine (similar to that of decaf coffee). Compare that to 1 cup of regular coffee which has 100-150 mg, or 12 ounces of most colas which has 65 mg!! Phenylethylamine is a chemical in the human brain that is released when we are in love. It acts as an antidepressant by combing with dopamine in the brain Anandamide helps to stimulate and open synapes that allow "feel good" waves to transmit easily. Contains magnesium which helps the body manufacture serotonin, as well as increasing calcium absorption and helping the heart and high blood pressure. It maybe be that when people crave chocolate it is because they have a magnesium deficiency! 1.5 ounces of chocolate has as many phenolic compounds as a 5 ounce serving of red wine, which has been associated with a reduced risk of coronary heart disease. It's great stuff (unless you're a dog). Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:32 PM I dunno'.......'Cause it melts in your mouth and not on your hand? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:33 PM That's not chocolate, Spaw, that's M+M's, which are hardly chocolate to anybody who's tasted REAL chocolate. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:37 PM Cheers alex....several reasons why chocolate is better than most things, except for dogs, poor bairns!! Well, that's cheered me up, plus the fact that I'm off to play frisbee tomorrow!! If it doesn't rain...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:43 PM Depends on what you want. If you want a father for your children, a lover, a friend, a lifetime companion, chocolate is a piss-poor choice. But if you're interested in increasing your magnesium, men just can't compete with the brown stuff. I mean chocolate. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Diva Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:44 PM well I never met a man who could measure up to a curly wurly......... pinched it from Elaine C Smith |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:47 PM What in the Hale-Bopp is a curly wurly? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:56 PM What's a curly wurly? You deprived person. A curly wurly is the most delicious thing on this planet, besides hersheys cookies and cream (can't wait to go to america next year, I WILL be stocking up). A curly wurly is like this curly piece og caramel with chocolate around it that's for kids n it's great cos they only cost 15p!! It's curly in kinda ladder shape. Difficult to explain, but addicted once you try them!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:59 PM Who makes 'em? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:25 PM Ok Emma you want me to limit it to just ten!!! I'll have to settle for a man who feeds me chocolate (thanks Geoff she says with a mouth full!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: kendall Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:25 PM Jez a bel, you just havn't tried the right man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:30 PM Sex and chocolate cause the release of the same endorphins which give the sensation of pleasure but when driving home from work you can only eat chocolate ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:30 PM Ah, but sex is exercise which helps you LOSE weight, whereas chocolate is mostly fat which makes you GAIN weight. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:36 PM Sorry Alex exercise makes me hungry! Anyway I like to combine both pleasures!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: GUEST,SeanM, cookieless (somehow appropriately) Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:00 PM What... you mean you like to exercise chocolate? And chocolate giving orgasms... *shudder*... just thinking of the cleanup afterwards... Still thinking... Actually, can I volunteer on that job? M |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:06 PM Sorry Sean jobs gone!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:09 PM Stick to Maltesers they have a less fattening centre! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Naemanson Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:28 PM Not gonna touch this one! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Bill D Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:11 PM why limit yourself to chocolate OR men? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:18 PM Chocolate is, in fact, better than most men, but inferior to a good camel in almost every aspect. Did you ever hear anyone say "I'd walk a mile for a Toblerone" ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: kendall Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:23 PM Good God Bill! I'll never eat another piece of chocolate! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Bill D Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:26 PM well, if you close your eyes, kendall...*grin* |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:38 PM I think they missed some obvious names, Bill. How about "Baby Root" ? "Schmuckers"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Matt_R Date: 09 Apr 01 - 10:15 PM Ah, Kendall has finally been introduced to chocolate Dildos? |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 10 Apr 01 - 07:06 AM No wonder Irish eyes are smiling! But I agree why have to choose when one can have both! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Dave the Gnome Date: 10 Apr 01 - 07:21 AM Being an anorexic lesbian I don't like either. How do I know I'm an anorexic lesbian? I like women and every time I look in a mirror I see a fat bloke... The old ones are always best! DtG |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Dave Wynn Date: 10 Apr 01 - 07:32 AM Never touch the stuff....Gives dogs heart attacks y'know!! Spot |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: GUEST,Gervase (with crumbled cookie) Date: 10 Apr 01 - 08:11 AM Hey, chocolate will never make you laugh, tell you the truth/a pack of lies about whether or not your bum looks big in that, buy you a present because you look down in the dumps, take the rubbish out, cook Sunday lunch, tell blatant fibs to unwanted callers on your behalf, nibble the backs of your knees, get the spiders our of the bath, empty the mousetraps, back you up when the kids are being particularly stroppy. On the other hand, cheese is a wondrous thing. I dreams of cheese. Toasted mostly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JudeL Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:15 AM Cheese makes you dream ? I thought it was supposed to give you nightmares |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Gervase Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:21 AM A good Stilton and mustard sandwich and a glass of summat rough and red - that'll give you dreams, my dear! It'll also give you a mouth as rough as a badger's arse, but that's a small price to pay for nirvana. Ach, who needs chocolate?! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JudeL Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:29 AM Dreams, Yes, but after viewing that website of Bills what sort are they likely to be? and if the glass of red is too rough it won't just be your mouth thats feels bad! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Gervase Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:35 AM ...which reminds me a glugging back a glass of chilli oil in a senior moment, thinking it was Chianti. That will give you afterburn like little else. I know they don't look remotely similar, but it can be done. Ask Micca! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: GUEST,louisa Date: 10 Apr 01 - 10:43 AM cadbury's make curly wurlys. I used to love them when I was little
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JudeL Date: 10 Apr 01 - 11:03 AM Gervase: What do you mean a senior moment, mind that sounds worse than the malibu & the campsite toilets. It's not just that they don't look similar but they don't smell anything alike. Although if micca is involved almost anything is possible. Louisa: I agree totally scrumptious especially if you put them in the fridge first |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: JeZeBeL Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:14 PM Curly wurlys have to be put in the fridge first....makes them loads scrummier, same as any chocolate really. I've just made some chocolate crispie buns with mimi eggs in for easter!! Mrs.Duck, would you like me to bring you one tomorrow night if I haven't eaten them all!! I still think chocolate is better than men. It doesn't cause you pain and grief and more hassle than it's worth. But I guess there are some nice men out there somewhere. I'll just have to keep looking....... *Chocolate doesn't forget your anniversary, or birthday etc!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: John J Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:26 PM Coooeee!!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:29 PM Chocolate doesn't remember your anniversary either. :) Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:45 PM No but nice men who do give you chocolate! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: mousethief Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:47 PM And if you're lucky, one of them is your husband! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Mrs.Duck Date: 10 Apr 01 - 01:55 PM Guess I must be lucky then. And Emma says I can have one of her buns woopee! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 10 reasons chocolate is better than men From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Apr 01 - 07:20 PM This is ridiculous. Chocolate is no big deal. It certainly does not merit a thread this long or even half this long. Gimme a break. Why are we talking about chocolate when we could be discussing Dylan lyrics? Damn! Shouldn't have hit that submit button. The bloody thing will now be back up at the top of the list. When will I ever learn... - LH |